I Would Have Taken It

[u/CatsEqualLife]

My mom’s mother died a few years ago, and I drove with my mom to the state where she had lived with the rest of my extended family to help with the funeral and cleaning out the house. There was only one thing willed to me, which my uncle had supposedly stolen (but I’m convinced my cousin took) and my mom told me to only take other keepsakes after everyone else took what they want because I’m the youngest. I watched everything get divvied up, including several items that I had special memories of. Most of it went to my aunt.

Well, tonight my mom told me that my aunt and uncle declared bankruptcy and are moving and have already been downsizing so almost everything they inherited is gone, including several items that had been in the family for generations or created/built by my great grandparents. I’m so frustrated that no one thought to ask me if I would take any of it. And now it’s gone. Forever.

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[u/RizzmwitTheTism]

That’s really terrible. I’m sorry that happened to you 💔. My family donated all my grandma’s stuff and put her in a care home before she died, including a bunch of things I made for her as a kid that she kept for her whole life, and some heirlooms as well. I would’ve wanted them, too. I still think of it sometimes and do feel mad.

[u/SchemeNo4706]

Death really does turn people into monsters. My mother died, and my sister sold everything she owned "for the funeral" and then had a state cremation service for her. I didn't realize at the time what had happened. When my father died (Not her father, we are half siblings) she did the same thing while squatting in his house. Asked me not to fight her over $3k. His only legal will left everything to me and all I wanted was his record collection. I don't understand why people get so greedy.

[u/berried_aprons]

That’s messed up, I am pissed off on your behalf. Age discrimination sucks, so you’re old enough to do the clean up but not to be given equal respect in the family?! If anything grandkids should take priority, they are the future/continuation of family line. Also I don’t get why your mom didn’t just grab you things you wanted since she’s an adult and has equal opportunity as the rest of the adults.

[u/Cute_Celebration_213]

It’s really sad how death can bring out the absolute worst in some people.
When my mom died I had huge arguments with my SIL over my mom’s clothes. She wanted everything but I knew she would end up giving most of it to her neighbors and her family. I wouldn’t let her have any of it.
Then there was my mom’s jewelry. She actually thought she should get some of it. LOL I’m the only daughter so she didn’t get anything.

[u/thechemist_ro → u/Cute_Celebration_213]

When my grandma died, my mom was also the only daughter and we were the only ones who kept close contact with her after the divorce. While the children and her widow talked about the estate, my uncle's wife (DIL) started asking for stuff like "oh where is the chandelier? Where's that yellow vase? The purple ring I looooved?" As if she was entitled to ANYTHING of hers. Dude, you're just an in law, some people actually lost their mom today.

We were lucky that grandma's things were all too big for her and her daughters (rings, shoes, clothes, etc) and my stepgrandpa, the widow, said she would've wanted my mom to have everything so my uncles obliged. He even got his tool box out, took her favorite chandelier down and wrapped it up for me before everyone arrived bc he knew how much I loved it.

When you truly loved someone, you want their things because of how much they mean, not how much it costs.

[u/Cute_Celebration_213 → u/thechemist_ro]

You are so right! It’s just a shame that people only care about themselves and what they can get.

[u/thechemist_ro]

It's the cons of being the youngest. I'm so sorry for your loss, the greed of others is truly the worst part of grieving. Stay strong!

[u/Odd_Awareness1444]

That's why it's important to have all this spelled out on a will. Sorry you had too go through this.

[u/MandyPandaren]

They sold it for money. My brother does that kind of thing with our family, and he is also a thief. I am m so sorry. Does one of them have an addiction?