r/WritingPrompts • u/AsdfRocket • Mar 03 '18
Established Universe [EU]On Purge Night, part-time employees are paid 50 times the hourly rate. It's that night of the year, and you're a pizza delivery worker looking to make some money.
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u/wolverinesfire Mar 04 '18 edited Mar 04 '18
Purge night pizza story.
Eliza slowly hung up the phone.
'They got Jimmy', she said meekly.
'What?' Tom shouted, unable to hear above the sounds of the fans and the loud crowds of pizza enthusiasts.
'THEY GOT JIMMY! CONTROL JUST CALLED AND SAID THE CUSTOMER ON ORDER 325 KILLED JIMMY!!
The crowds became quiet.
Tom walked to the front of the store and said in a low voice. 'Everybody out.' One customer started to complain and another customer knocked him out with one hit. His buddies, bewildered dragged their friend out. Customers started leaving.
A large man walked up to Tom, stared down at him and said ' We understand. Anyway we can help?'
Tom looked at him and said 'no, private party. We will be going to the armory though to pick up supplies. Can you spread the word that our convoy will be coming and that we aren't there for them?'
'Yes Mr Greystone, we will.'
'Thanks.'
'Make the calls Eliza.' Text messages were sent out that food would be delayed due to an unsanctioned incident against a delivery driver. Every other employee turned off the stores equipment, turned off the lights, grabbed their standard ammo armor and gun bags and headed for their cars.
'Aren't we going to lock the doors?', the scared new guy 'mouse' asked, clutching his gun strapped to his waist nervously.
Tom looked at him, poked him straight kn his chest and said, 'Nobody fucks w Purge Night food service. Nobody.'
They arrived at the armory. Tom looked around and saw 125 heavily armed and armored people from various purge night food and delivery services. Gino's pizza and John's steaks weren't present though. Noted.
They walked to the armory doors and the gates lifted without prompting.
A man w a large top hat and butler suit spoke in calm friendly tones. 'Good evening, Mr Greystone. How can I serve You?' The 12 armed guards off to the side kept looking at monitors and status updates. The armory trucks too were coming and going to make delivery runs tonight. The updating map showed various riots and areas of danger shifting by the minute.
Tom slapped down his credit card on the counter. 'It's open season on 132 Trenton Blvd. What can we expect?'
'Time to settle scores eh?', the butler winked.
'They killed one of my drivers.'
'Oh my.', the butler said in a disapproving tone. 'Take what you need, I'll throw in a box of grenades for free. Have yourself a successful night. Might I recommend some upgraded armor and wall breech tools as well. My scouts tell me, going through the front or back would force you through claymore mine fields, but if you breach through 130 trenton's walls on the third floor, you'll get into their building past their main defenses. I'll let the family living there know you will be coming and that you will reimburse them if that's okay?'
'Thank you John.'
'My pleasure Tom.'
Tom turned around and walked to the group assembled. Grab whatever you want or need. We are going to Kill every stupid son of a bitch living at 132 Trenton Blvd. Here is the plan...'.
30 minutes later they were ready to breach. The plastic foam around the wall was set. Cords placed by the breech squad into the foam were screwed into detonators.
Boom. A large hole opened where the wall had stood. Amid the cries of suprise, flash bang grenades were tossed ahead of the group. 1 bewildered skin head stumbled around before Tom shot him in the head. The breaching 6 man teams went out into the hall towards the left and right, clearing the way. One team went down and killed everybody on floors 1-2. The first people trying to escape through the front and back were mowed down by their own stationary defences, claymore mines and traps killing 4. The rest were slaughtered by kill teams outside before they made it 30 feet from the building.
The light went on in one room on the 5th floor of 131 Trenton Blvd and a little girl w pigtails undid the protective covering and peered outside. From her point of view, there was a lineup of food delivery vehicles as well as 2 heavy armored vehicles from the armory up and down the street.
Eliza looked up and yelled 'Honey, it's okay. We are just dealing w some bad men that were bad to our friend. Go back inside. Don't watch okay?' A parent rushed to the window pulled her child back and hit the shutters.
'Mouse was hit', said Steve over comms in between 3 round bursts of gun fire.
'Anything serious?' Said Tom.
'No, Mouse got hit by a bullet in the leg. He saved Cindy's life by taking the shot. It'll just be a good scar for the ladies. We will patch him up till the medic can see him in a few minutes.
'Good on you Mouse. Good on you.', said Tom w a faint smile. 'Status update floors 3-6.
'Floor 3 cleared. We found Jim.' 'I'll be right there.' Tom strode down the hall. In the room Jimmy's mutilated body hung from the ceiling, his body suspended from his wrists. The bruising and knife wounds showed that it took a long time for him to die. He couldn't make out Jimmy from his peeled of bloody face anymore. All that remained was a silver ring around his right hand and a tattoo of a laughing joker on his left hand. He would never see his family again.
'Cut him down. And then let's get the rest of the fucks that did this to him.'
'Floor 4, a couple of stragglers, we will have them in a couple of minutes. No worries.'
'Floor 5 is cleared, on floor 6, we are facing heavy resistance. They can't get out but we can't get in without taking losses.
We can't set off explosives underneath them as there is some kind of lab here. If we use explosives the whole building will go up. Please advise.
'Gas them. I got permission from control.'
'Wow. They sanctioned it. Roger that, gas deploying in 3,2,1.'
Screams of agony cascaded down the stairwell as Tom walked up.
Tom walked through the mewling coughing group of 7 men and women.
A video of what they did to Jimmy was playing on the big screen.
'I'm innocent!' A blond screamed. A minute later a video of her stabbing Jimmy came on. Tom shot her in the head without a second glance.
He let girl 2 and 3 go as they were bruised all to hell, scared, tired, abused. He sent them to get treated by the medic.
The other 4 men they made an example of that nobody would ever forget.
3 hours after they left they were back at the store. The blood was washed off. New uniforms put on. The equipment was turned back on and orders were being made and rushed out the door as fast as possible.
'So, what happened Mr. Greystone? Did you find the culprits?
A nervous teen asked, with a line of people behind her.
'We did Mindy. BECAUSE!?'
The other employees yelled 'Nobody fucks w Purge Night food service!
'That's right. Now, can I take your order?'
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u/bells_88 Mar 04 '18 edited Mar 04 '18
I could hear fucking behind the door. A guy and a girl. “I’M COMING !” It was the third time she yelled that. The grease had soaked through the cardboard onto my hand. I was sweating. The debit machine alone was worth over a thousand dollars. I spotted a camera on the way in. I put down the party pizza and look at the receipt. Extra cheese, pepperoni, jalapeños, sausage. I pull the sawed off shot gun from my trousers and waited. I almost dropped their two litre of Pepsi. “SHIT” The sound of fucking stopped for a moment. “HELLO?” “”YOU’RE PIZZA,” I yelled. I heard footsteps. “Hey Tom I think the pizza guy is here.” The first dead bolt slid back. Then the second, third, and fourth. She started talking behind the door. “You can never be too careful on purge night,” she said. I grumbled. The door opened. She was naked. “You’re shy,” I said. “Life’s short.” I handed her the pizza and the Pepsi. “Debit or credit.” She bit her lip. “Can we work out a deal?” She asked. “It’s 50 times the price tonight lady.” Her boyfriend yelled from the bedroom. “EVERYTHING ALRIGHT SARA” “ITS FINE TOM.” Sarah took a step forward. “Come on,” she said, “I think you’re cute.” “What about...” “He likes it.” Sara turned around and walked back into the apartment. I followed. “Hey Tom,” she said laughing, “ It came with extra sausage.” Tom looked at me unimpressed in front of the bedroom window. There was an explosion. Toms head was nearly severed. He laid there bleeding and dead. We stared for a few moments in silence. Sara peered out the broken window to assess for danger then came back to me. “ Let’s do it anyway,” she said. Tom lay bleeding on the floor. “Just hurry,” I told her. “ I only have 5 minutes before my next delivery.”
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u/MrPanda663 Mar 04 '18
I walked up to the door with the freshly made pizza in my blood stained clothes. Don't worry, its not my blood. Ring the doorbell and the door swings open. Its a bunch of guys in clown masks with a woman tied up and her husband on the floor bleeding. Eh. "You actually bought pizza?" One of the stupid clowns said. The bigger dude in a clown mask comes up to me and takes his mask off. "You have no idea how much i appreciate this man. Ill be sure to tip you good." "That would be $50." "Hella expensive but understandable. Happy purge day right?" He shuffles for his wallet but doesn't seem to find it. I really don't have time for this. "Hold on a sec." He heads over to the husband on the ground and takes his wallet from his pocket. The woman cries louder and stares at me for help. The dude pulls out $100 and says "keep the change." I give him the pizza and take the money, but just as im about to leave he says as he eats a slice of pizza, "I don't get it, why dont you just rob someone to get more money?" The last thing i need is someone telling stupid questions. I turn around a smile, "Good point." I pull out my silenced pistol and shoot that idiot in the head. I walk over and shoot the other two pretty easily. I felt bad for the lady so i untied her. The woman was thankful, and asked me "Why dont you take their money they stole?" "Because of taxes."
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u/TotesNotLurking Mar 04 '18
I got out of my shitty Toyota Corolla, pizza box in hand, and slammed the door shut with my hip as I made my way to the door. Purge Night was my fucking jam. All the cash I could make for 12 hours. Six thousand for the night, plus tips? I would trample over every damn coworker I had to work this night each year. Momma needed a new set of wheels.
No one fucked with the pizza guy... Err girl. We were the angels in the night bringing cheesy goodness and I was sure the dude in the smiling rabbit mask opening the door understood the unspoken Covenant of the Pie. It should be like the ten other deliveries I had already done that same evening. He grabbed the pizza box from me and I held my hand out for the cash.
"Cool, now get lost." He went to shut the door.
I raised an eyebrow as I stuck my foot in the door. I'm was sure he must have looked bemused at the five foot tall chick on the doorstop, willing to push the issue of a fifteen dollars pizza on Purge Night. And you're goddamn right I was because I wasn't paying for the fucking pizza.
"Fifteen bucks." I said firmly
He laughed for a second before stopping. The sickeningly cheerful rabbit mask was surprisingly clean. It was nearly midnight. Fucking pansy, "Oh, you're serious. That's cute."
He reached to the right of the doorway for something but he only had one hand and I was quicker. I pulled out my Ruger from inside my jacket and pulled the trigger twice. The mask now sported two nice holes in the forehead. I stepped inside the door and picked up the pizza and saw a bunch of twenty-something frat brothers staring in shock in my direction. Thirty seconds passed and no one moved or said anything.
"The pizza is fifteen bucks. Somebody better fucking pay for this shit because I don't like pineapple." I said flippantly.
They continued to stare in shock before a scrawney kid with Bieber hair brought me a fifty, panda mask off to the side of his head. I handed him the pizza, gave him his change, minus the five dollar tip he offered me and stepped backwards. I kept my eyes still on the group of shocked faces.
"Happy purging!" I all but sang as I shut the door.
Fucking amateurs.
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u/Scriblingo Mar 04 '18
Purge night for a domino's delivery driver was by far the most dangerous of the year for obvious reasons. You were never obligated to work it and could choose to work as little or long as you wanted. I always chose to do the full shift. This was quite risky as at least 2 drivers from our store had died each year for the last 3 years. Although I was hesitant in some way I still mustered up the courage to dawn the blue t-shirt and jacket stick on my cap and head out for my shift.
As our store had developed a bit of a tradition of losing drivers on Purge night myself and 2 others were the only ones who volunteered. As we were making up some boxes getting ready for the rush the usual chat, which would often be about video games or movies turned to protection. Each of us described the array of weapons that we had brought to protect ourselves. We all opted for a handgun, in the pizza bag, and another strapped to our leg. I had a shotgun in the car and the others opted for semi-automatic machine guns in theirs.
I had done roughly 3 deliveries and the other guys had done about 7 or 8. Both were buzzing off the adrenaline and also how much money they were making. As I was head driver and had been in the shop for the last 6 purges I let them head out on most of the deliveries at the start of the night.
It is usually a bit safer at the start of the night, because most people take their time in purging. People got more drunk as the night went on, therefore more likely to purge, if they hadn't already decided to do so.
At 2am I headed out for a delivery, I left the other 2 guys in the shop and told them which order to take when it was ready. All the deliveries were in and around the same area so I said I may see them while I was out there.
Up until now I had received no problems. Every customer had given me the money with no hassle. Then as they went to close the door I shot them in the back of the head with my crossbow (forgot to mention that earlier). I would then shout "Pizza". Which was fantastically efficient in gather up all parties in the house. After getting rid of them all I would then torch the house, after enjoying a free slice or 2 of pizza of course. I didn't purge every house, only the ones that looked like they would have a lot of cash and weren't ready for violence. This house would bring my total haul for the night up to $17,355, not bad for one nights work. A lot of people keep large amounts of money on them during purge night. I guess it was meant as a bargaining tool.
After finishing off what I needed to in the house I then went to check up on the other drivers....
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u/katthekickass Mar 04 '18
First time commenting here! Please give me any feedback you have, I’d love to improve!
“This is it, this is it” Jane murmured as she pulled into the lot.
It was the worst night of the year. Worse than delivering during the Super Bowl, because at least then the chances of death were pretty low. Not impossible, as Stephen had pointed out. Some people have no self control, and would do anything to anyone. But tonight? All bets were off.
Her veteran coworkers, the ones who had survived these nights - literally, as they reminded her - had mixed opinions of the night.
Freddy said most people were alright - a lot of them were regulars anyway, who wouldn’t stop their order for the Second Coming, let alone the Purge. Many were as scared of the drivers as they were of the customers.
But Liz disagreed, claiming everyone came to the door wielding a gun, and several threatened to shoot her for it. Several coworkers were lost to people who did. After all, why pay ten bucks when all it’ll cost you is your soul?
Jane was terrified. But she had no choice. New hires were expected to work, no exceptions. You were fired if you didn’t show, no matter the reason. And she was in college, so she needed a job. While she could theoretically steal enough in a single night to afford the next year, it was supposed to be safer doing this.
At least, she hoped it was. She parked her car, pulled out her gun, and headed into the store to begin her shift
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u/damnmaster Mar 04 '18
It’s been a long time since purge was introduced to the world. Since then my pizza chain had seen fit to profit as much as possible.
But how? How to ensure the safety of drivers while delivering on the one night that all crime is legal?
Turns out, it only took time.
The first few years were rough, we were given strict instructions to just leave if they didn’t want to pay, as well as carry extra pizza to throw off thieves All of us were equipped with the latest body cams and gps tracking. In the first few years, the bodies piled. Then the chain introduced blacklists, anyone caught killing deliverers would be on everyone’s shit list on the next purge season. The pizza chain made it clear if too many deaths occurred in an area, they will not deliver.
And It seems even criminals can’t resist how good our pizza is.
In the later years, not a single one of us died, driving around that gaudy, neon flashing car with our logo became a symbol both feared and loved. Eventually they lowered the multiplier on how much people got paid because the risk was so minimal. You still get one or two nutjobs out there but people took deliveries seriously, they would set up a drop zone and have every gun pointed every direction while you came in. It was easy money for the same work as the day later.
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u/katamuro Mar 04 '18
I took the job when it was advertised. The money was better than my regular job. The risk was there but it was just one night a year. That what I told myself the first time. And the second time. But the third time I took the job was different.
The house I was delivering to was not familiar to me but it was a high-class neighbourhood, the type that usually doesn't order pizza so it took me a bit of time to find the place. Even before I knocked on the door I knew what was going inside, the lights, the music, all told a story clearly enough. The door was opened by a half naked guy wearing a Clinton mask holding a bat in one hand. "Pizza" I said "Great, here have some cash" he said and grabbed some money from the key bowl. I handed him the pizza which made him drop the bat. "Oh and here is some dip, on the house" I said and reached into my bag. The shotgun blast shredded the pizza along with half his face. I had enough of the crazies, I had enough of the Purge. I could have just went out into the streets like the others but delivering pizza was a good cover. No one expects anything from a pizza delivery guy but pizza. And I still had plenty of customers to deliver to.
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u/Pedro_The_Unicorn Mar 04 '18 edited Mar 04 '18
I wish I got a delivery gig, atleast that way I would get to see some normal people for once.
When you work the counter on purge night you only get the crazy bastards; people covered in who knows what, freaks in masks and the occasional straight man looking for refuge. Just to name a few of the people you see on this night.
Thankfully I get paid by the hour so I could go the whole night without seeing another soul. It also helps that I'm allowed to take whatever I want free of charge.
As I sit on my old, half broken office chair the first costumer rolls in at around 2. He's different to the others.
He's in his late 40's, shaved head, multiple scars along his face and arms and his eyes, they were devoid of any resemblance of life, completely dead. Pretty standard but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.
We exchange glances and he goes about his way picking up bread, milk and 500 rounds of 5.56, the bastard that runs this place charges triple for ammo during the purge. (Capitalism baby!)
He approaches the counter and gestures towards the cigarettes. Still yet to say a word to each other. So I just grab the cheapest pack making sure to not take my eyes off of him or my hand off my 9mm.
Suddenly he speaks breaking the constant hum of the lights and the occasional distant gunshot. "22, 22 people have died by my hands tonight"
Mildly taken back by his statement. After a lengthy pause the first words to enter my mind are "uh g-good job, I guess" trying to bag his haul as quickly as possible.
Before I can tell him his total he drops to his knees, head in hands. Loudly sobbing and murmuring something about judgment and righteousness.
It's at this point I feel this overwhelming urge to help this guy out. Sure he's pretty out of it and it is purge night after all, but I can't help the feeling that he's not crazy like the regulars.
I hoist him by his collar and pull him up handing him the bag of "groceries" and tell him it's on me. As he look at the bag and back at me he feigns a crooked smile. Showing what little hope he has left.
I watch as he stumbles out the door and his figure merges with the darkness around him. I feel somewhat accomplished as if I had done something to help this twisted night very slightly.
But my glee is short lived as from over the road the orange glow of torches and the slow droning of chanting drown out that small glimpse of hope.
"Fuck"
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u/Reigasarus Mar 04 '18
Ugh. Fuck. I hate that annoying stock ring phone on those cheap walmart flip phones, but I haven't gotten around to changing it. I sluggishly rise to flip it open and shut, only to see it's working calling. Fuck. I must've overslept again. Fucking Ricardo warned me if I was late again, don't bother coming in, so I'm wondering why he's even calling me. I pick up, to be instantly greeted by Get your azz in here in his wonderful, broken english with that thick italian accent. I can just feel him spitting all over me through the phone.
There's no traffic on the roads, but that's typical for a graveyard midnight to 4am shift here at Papa's Pizza. As soon I as pull in, Ricardo sticks 5 tickets in my hands and his brother is shoving in those big bags that hold 6 pizzas each in my car. Okay, cool I guess, I'm not fired. All of them are going to the ritzy part of town over on Lombardy, so I look forward to a nice tip.
On the drive there, some asshole started blaring his horn and almost crashed into me, but it's not the first time someone's followed me around while delivering pizzas. You learn to drive a certain kind of way after a while that, well, sometimes rubs people the wrong way. Whatever, I continue blazing the last bit of a roach I find in the ash tray while blasting some At the Drive In. I notice a few wrecks on the road, probably some alcoholics, nothing I haven't seen before.
I go to bring the pizzas to the address, and a man answers the door with a weird mask of some president and what looks to be blood all over him. 'Hey kid, thanks for the pizzas, it means a lot here on purge night'. Oh FUCK, now the night starts to all make sense. I had NO plan of delivery pizzas on this night, but whatever, let's just get it over with. They don't really fuck with delivery drivers on this night, it wasn't really that special last year.
I bring in all 30 pizzas into his house, put them neatly on his kitchen table, and all the silverware and napkins and shit he asked for. I start to make my leave, and inform him of the total. "That'll be $95.95 sir". He hands me $96 and says 'keep the change'.
So I stick him in the neck with a screwdriver until the light fades out of his eyes. Fuck that guy. There's a reason no one fucks with delivery drivers on purge night.
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u/Snote85 Mar 04 '18
My '03 Ford Focus rolled frightfully down Cumberland Avenue. The large emptiness was the part I hated most. No one but the most depraved were out tonight. Them, and well, me.
The warming bag that wrapped a Supreme Pizza inside a box sat dutifully on my passenger seat. The stereo was quiet for the moment, as I listen for the tell-tale signs of damnation that were sure to sprout up around me soon.
The street lights were on but many flickered. I'd considered going down a back road and trying to avoid popular areas but I would rather see my assailants coming. The wide expanse of the street allowed me to scan for threats.
The smooth rumbling of the engine accompanied me to the turn off for 6th Street. As I rounded the corner, checking my peripheral vision often, I saw a flash of red. Taillights from a truck clicked off as I grew closer. With my right hand I reached between my seat and molested the handle of my Glock. It wasn't much and had only a 7 round clip, but it was a comfort on Purge night.
I slowed down till I was doing about 25, it was a residential neighborhood after all, and watched for movement.
I saw the flash before I heard the shot. My windshield shattered like ice. A hole appeared in front of me and a thunk sounded behind my head as the projectile hit my headrest. This asshole was almost a good shot. I clicked off the overdrive and slammed down the gas. My vision diminished greatly I rolled down the driver's side window and stuck my head out enough to see.
The mother fucker who'd shot at me came out from his cover and took aim at me, ready to send another round my direction. I swerved back and forth as I went forward trying my best to disrupt his shot. When he gave up on accuracy, he decided quantity would do the trick. I heard the repetitive dance of a semiautomatic handgun firing as fast as the trigger finger would allow. Plunk after plunk sounded from my passenger side. He quickly emptied his magazine and seemed to reach into his pants for another.
"Son, remember, Purging isn't about fun and it's not about blood lust. It's a duty we have as citizens to make sure those who need to be purged, are."
The memory of my father's words playing in my head I took aim. I was about 20 feet away from my attacker and unfortunately for him, I was the best pizza delivery driver at Palto's Famous Pizza. I pulled the E brake and slid ninety degree. My hood was now pointed directly at Senior Asshole. I again slammed the gas and felt a satisfying thump as his head bounced off my front end. His gun fell from his hand as the car met his chest. I let off the gas and slammed on the brake.
I jumped from the car and walked over to his gun and picked it up. The clip had not made it back into the gun when I'd hit, it would appear. I reloaded it, cocked it, and placed the gun to his head.
"Supreme." I said in a calm cool voice.
"Wha.. what?" The man said through his gasps and pained expression.
"Did you order a supreme pizza?" I asked in my most professional voice.
"Wha.. nuh... no?" He grunted.
"Do you know the Partins that live on this street?" I asked.
"Yeahh, they live two houses du... oh God... God it hurts... I'm... I'm sorry. I just wanted to..." He cried.
"Two houses down? On the right or the left?" I prodded.
"The... oh God, on the fucking right... Jesus, help..." BLAM
The bullet from his gun ripped straight through his jaw and up into his head. It was almost beautiful.
"Thanks." I said, standing up and returning to my car. Using his gun as a club I beat away the safety glass on my car. Realizing how much it would cost to fix I went over to the shithead and checked his pants for a wallet. He had three-hundred dollars in various bills. There was a note.
"If you killed me, please, take this money to Clara. She's my daughter with leukemia. If I was trying to kill you, I'm sorry. I just wanted money to help pay for her medical bills. I'm not a bad person and Clara shouldn't suffer because I am a bad father and a bad man. Please, help Clara."
Shit.
I crumpled the note and placed it in my back pocket along with the money. I sat back in my car, let out a long sigh, and started in the direction Clara's dad had indicated.
I went slow expecting anything to happen and noticed the indicated house had its porch light on. I crept into the drive and with my Glock tucked into the back of my pants, and the other gun tucked into my front, I got out of the car.
I panned around once or twice to make sure there wasn't anything looming nearby. I placed my back against the customer's front door and knocked twice. After a long pause I heard, "Who... who is it?" said in a female voice.
"Supreme." I said.
"Yeah, that's what I ordered." The girl said cheerfully.
I heard the sounds of pad locks being turned. The steel reinforced door opened to the sight of a beautiful, blonde girl standing in a white crop top and a pair of tight jeans. The shirt was blotted with blood and a bit still stained her neck and arms.
"It's, umm, it's twelve ninety-five." I said with a goofy grin on my face.
She smiled back and with an almost flirtatious tone said, "I'm sorry I don't have enough for a tip..."
"That... that's fine. I mean... I don't mind." I stuttered. Imagining all the debauchery that would be about to happen if real life was like a porno flick.
She handed me the money with a five cent tip. I smiled for a second time and turned to go to my car. I hesitated a moment and decided to go for it. I turned around to ask if she might want to grab a drink with me some time and was greeted by a 12 gauge shot gun pointed directly at my face.
Instinct kicked in. I threw up my left hand and pushed the barrel right and moved my head left. My right hand was already reaching for the father's gun. I had just moved my head out of the way when the gun went off. The sound was amazing. Being that close to the shot left a spot on my vision and a ringing in my ears. I had just barely, literally, dodged a bullet.
The gun now in my hand I raise to about hit level, unable to bring it up to aim correctly, I just start firing. The bullets rip through her like she was made of Jell-o. The splats of crimson as they exited her body started making shapes and patterns on the white door behind her that would make Jackson Pollock jealous.
She looked utterly surprised that her plan had failed. I realized in the moment that my dick had just saved me. I also regretted destroying something this beautiful.
She fell hard against the door, spoiling the art, and slid down till she was sitting on the porch. She dropped the gun and grabbed her wounds. Then looked up at me with an expression that said, "What the fuck did you just do?"
She tried to talk but only her mouth moved with no sound. I sat and watched the life drain from her eyes. During the last moment I felt she had in this life I leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "You should have tipped."
I picked up her shotgun and carefully made my way back to the car. I laid her shotgun in the passenger seat and turned to start backing out of the drive way. The back window, fortunately, was still intact. I was almost to the road when I noticed something coming from my left out of the corner of my eye. About the time I turned to see what it was KABOOB a brown Dodge truck from the 70's slammed into the driver's side of the car.
My head bounced off the window, shattering it, and then the momentum slammed me into the passenger's seat, hitting my head on the shotgun.
"These people are trash, son. We don't want to live in a country where men and women kill each other for sport one night a year. We don't start fights on Purge night, but we sure as shit finish them."
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u/Snote85 Mar 04 '18
Continued...
"Dad..." I said as I started to return to reality. The spot from the shotgun flash, the ringing in my ears, and now a pounding headache that sent out a wave of pain with every heartbeat. I tried to remember where I was and what I was doing. I heard the sound of footsteps on broken safety glass coming towards my car.
I slid my left hand behind my back as I still lay on my right in the passenger seat, shotgun for a pillow. The already racked weapon felt so, so familiar in my hands. As a man silhouetted by the street light behind him come into view I raised the Glock. One shot sprayed the street with his brains. I heard the horrible crunch of his body hitting the ground.
I leaned up to the steering wheel and realized he had pushed me a good twenty feet. The smell of engine viscera churned my stomach. I tried to open my door but realized I couldn't. I dropped the shotgun out the window the slowly, painfully, followed it out.
I looked at my car, now more of a "U" shape that I liked and realized it wasn't going to get me back to the store. I searched the body and found his wallet. James Partin. The name on the order. Connections started forming. James and dead girl had called in a pizza with the intent of robbing me. When I killed the girl at the door, James must have been pissed and decided he'd blindside me. Good plan.
I found a set of keys in James's pocket, grabbed my warming bag from my car and threw it in the truck. The push bar had taken the brunt of the impact. It would need to be straightened but no damage came to the tank of a truck.
I uneventfully made my way back to the pizza place. When I walked in, covered in blood, and obviously tired my boss came over to console me. I'd been the only one who volunteered to work tonight and he seemed grateful. As he made the open arm gesture that everyone understands means, "Give me a hug." I walked over, reluctantly and accepted. The pear shaped man grabbed me in a deep bear hug and laughed. "You do good. You do good." I was completely over the hug and started to push him away but he kept hugging. I started struggling to get away but he kept squeezing. Noticing the pizza cutter within reach, I grabbed it, pushed him away and sliced his throat... fuck purge night.
I opened the register, took the money, and then pulled out the note about Clara. I wonder which hospital she's at...
2
7
u/TheHotze Mar 04 '18
I thought I could make a quick buck,then take a few weeks off from work. I mean, surely the Purge nights aren't as bad as they say right? But I was wrong, so wrong. You see I'm a pizza delivery guy, and on Purge nights, even the lowest of the low paying jobs make three figures an hour. My night started out fairly normal, just kinda busy as people ordered food before dusk. Then, a few hours after dusk, it came in, I knew it was a mistake to take that delivery, but hey, I didn't want to upset some crazy and have them blow up the restaurant. The address was in some fancy office building, on the third floor. As I got to the door, someone in a black hoodie jumped out and swung a machete downward at me. I raised the bag holding the pizzas, catching the machete. Dropping the bag, with the machete still wedged in it, I ran into some nearby offices, and attempted to hide amongst the desks. But the guy in the hoodie wasn't far behind me. I was sure I was about to die, when another door opened, shining a bright light into the offices. "Son, you better leave this fella alone." Said a man, dressed in dirty jeans, and blue button down work shirt. To my surprise, my assailant fled. Turning to my hero, I asked. "Why did he run? Who are you?" He replied "The one person everyone loves, and fears. The Janitor."
1
u/TheHotze Mar 04 '18
This is my first time posting on writing prompts, so sorry if it is terrible.
2
u/tiltedsun Mar 06 '18
he
I liked it. My only criticism is the price of the pizza and the fact the delivery guys are generally paid in thier bank for the night at the rate of pay. So if you get 5 bucks an hour for a five hour night , they'll "give" you 25 in bank to make change. If the rate was increased for hazard that would make sense but the price of the pizza would go up exponentially as well.
Good story, I'd add a few more rides and a better ending.
2
3
u/purplishcrayon Mar 04 '18
Lol, I got a kick out of it
Develop it a little, make it a longer story?
2
u/Green-Moon Mar 04 '18
"Seth, what are you doing, just get in the car! I want to get this night over and done with."
Seth jogged over to the car and jumped in, pulling a large backpack in with him.
"What's in the bag?" I asked. "Nothing, let's just do this" Seth replied.
I turned on the GPS and started driving towards the destination. I felt sweat build up on my forehead as I briefly reflected upon what I'd seen during Purge Night in previous years. Rapes, murders, beheadings, buses on fire, and depraved gangs roaming the street, looking for new victims to disembowel and terrorize. It's as if GTA has become reality for a night. Purge night is what it looks like if gangs were running the streets with free reign. During Purge night, gangs really do run the streets.
I pulled up to the destination.
"Dude, just quickly go deliver the pizza and get back here, you don't want to catch a stray bullet out there." I told Seth. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine" he said.
I watched as the occupant opened the door. Seth gave them the pizza before reaching for his backpack. I turned to look at the road, no one was around for now, that's good. Suddenly I heard a loud bang. I flinched and looked towards the direction it had come from. Seth was running back towards the car.
"Dude what the fuck happened!" I yelled, as he got back in. "Just having a little fun, relax" he smiled excitedly. I looked back towards the house and felt my stomach drop. A figure lay sprawled on the porch with a box of pizza laying open on the grass. I swallowed, sweat dripping down my forehead.
"Dude, you didn't have to fucking kill him you fuck!"
"Relax the fuck out you pussy", Seth exclaimed, his eyes glinting with malice, "I'm just exercising my god given purge rights".
I gritted my teeth, my heart began to thump in my chest. Was I going to get out of this alive? Fuck.
Two men were walking on the footpath up ahead.
Seth pulled down his window. I glanced towards him and gulped as I saw him lift an AR-15 out of the window.
BANG BANG BANG BANG!
I ducked down and the car swerved on the road. The two men dropped dead on the side walk as bullets ripped into them from behind.
"WHO'S GONNA FUCK WITH ME NOW!? YOU WANT A FUCKING PIECE OF ME NOW!! COME FUCKING GET IT!" Seth screamed out the window.
Holy fuck! What the fuck! I slammed on the brakes.
"KEEP GOING YOU FUCKING PUSSY, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!" Seth screamed at me. I cowered, unable to speak. I had never seen him like this, this was not normal.
Seth got out of the car and dragged his massive back pack out with him. He reached in and pulled out out a large metal box. Opening the lid, he pulled out a chainsaw and revved it up.
"Get the fuck out of the car now, or I'll cut your fucking head off!" he screamed, as he made his way around to my side. The chainsaw buzzed menacingly. I whimpered.
Suddenly lights flooded the area. Seth looked back down the street, where a bunch of cars were pulling up and blocking the road. I was frozen, unable to do anything. Tears rolled down my cheeks, and my throat was raw.
A bunch of figures got out of the vehicles and a man with a strong South African started screaming at Seth.
"Lerk wot we got here, a lerttle shert with a fockin chainsaw! Do you think you're fockin tough aye, lerttle boy?!!" the man jeered. His tone was menacing and cruel.
"UM GONNA CHOP. YOUR. FOCKIN. HEED OFF YOU LERTTOO FOCK. UM GUNNA TEACH YOU A FOCKIN LERSSON!".
Flames shot out into the air. The man had a flame thrower in his hand, a class 5 weapon, which was not permitted to be used during the purge. These guys were not fucking around.
I glanced back and looked at the man and the figures behind him. Obscene, cruel face masks stared back. Sick fucks, all of them. Seth stared back, looking fearful.
I took the moment to slam on the accelerator and speed out into the darkness. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw the man taunting Seth with the flame thrower, shooting bright flames into the air. The masked figures behind him, jeering and yelling cruel things. I glimpsed Seth struggling to pull out his AR-15 from the bag.
Fuck him. If he wants to kill people, then let's see how he fairs against psychos like himself. Let's see how he'll fair against a gang that will rip him apart and do terrible, terrible things to him. Looks like he's met an enemy that's too much of a match for him.
I'm done with this shit. Fuck Purge night and fuck this job. Fuck humanity and fuck this world. I'm done with all of this, I'm just so done...
11
u/RamblerWulf Mar 04 '18
I checked my GPS, the house was coming up. One of my regulars, actually. Normally I knew the route by heart, but normally I do my pizza delivering in a Toyota. Not tonight, not on Purge Night. Tonight was reserved for my Ferret, an old de-militarized armored car. Most folks didn't fuck with the pizza delivery guys, and I made sure my little up sign was perched on the Browning up top, so everyone knew I was slinging pies.
The GPS pinged, and I started to pull into the drive, my vision hampered by the armored slits the Ferret called windows. I checked the order, and the address. Something wasn't right...Ms. Neil, the old regular was very traditional and sticked to the classic pep and cheese. This was a meat lovers.
Grabbing the hot bag, I popped the roof hatch and climbed out, hopping down to the ground. I could hear several voices laughing inside, but still, I went up and knocked. The voices went quiet.
"Big Al's Pizza Pies here!" I called out, the door opening. I was met with a masked individual, several others milling around within the house
"'Bout fuckin' time!" One of them called out. The one at the door waved it off and plopped a wad of bills and jewelry into my hand, taking the pizza without so much as a word. As they turned, I saw a bloody, slumped figure against the wall.
"Y'all have a good night" I said, putting on my best professional smile, climbing once more into my car. Not one of them paid me any attention as I got into the gunners position. They were too busy gorging on pizza and beer to see me toss the sign away and pull the bolt on the .30. Hell, they hardly had time to think before I cut each of those bastards down in a swath of hot lead. Ms. Neil was a good tipper.
8
u/WigzMcGhee Mar 04 '18
If I was a writer I would write this story, but I thought of a scenario where 5 or 6 different pizza delivery drivers receive a call along the lines of (first person to deliver 5 large pizzas to this address wins $1,000,000). Of course mayhem ensues on their individual journey to this address, culminating in a death race sort of battle between the surviving drivers to make it to the end.
(I may have been playing too many battle royale games and this is where this idea stemmed from haha)
6
Mar 04 '18
Our transport truck rumbled quietly as we crept down the road, the air growing thicker inside the cab. Even if this steel box did have air conditioning- nothing could stop the layer of sweat from forming between me and the heavy weighted vest strapped onto my torso. It was my ninth year delivering on purge night, and even though people had learned not to fuck with us pizza guys, it was always one hell of an adrenaline rush- one hell of a risk. "Maybe if we cracked the portholes a little-" "Shut the fuck up and keep it tight" I interrupted. It was only Jons second time delivering during the purge. He wasn't around for the beginning, when the pizza guys were targets same as anyone else stupid enough- or crazy enough- to be caught outside tonight. See in the beginning... we were like prizes. Pizza guys on purge night carry enough cash for someone to stay comfortable for the next year (or two if you're lucky), and it made sense for people to go after us. Those first couple years were rough. Most of us were only slightly prepared for the shitstorm we were riding into, a lot of us never made it home from those shifts, and most that did could never stand the smell of pizza again. But some of us were too hungry or too desperate for the pay to turn down another purge night. So we planned. We researched and we pooled together what we still had from the last death shift. We created private message boards across dozens of different chains across all 50 states. We organized and gathered. And when purge night came again? We weren't just delivering pizzas. When the sirens stopped ringing and the purge was initiated- pizza delivery men and women all across the country, from chains big and small, drove out to the homes and apartments where our coworkers had been killed in the years previous, and the slaughter began. We killed everyone, anyone, who could have been involved in previous delivery related deaths. We burned homes, apartments, entire city blocks. we more than likely killed as many innocents as we did those who had earned it. Reports later stated that it was one of the worst purges to date, and when footage came out in the following days of delivery cars dragging bodies through the streets, people didn't look at the brightly lit signs on top of our roofs the same way anymore. The big chains feared backlash when the videos first surfaced, but surprisingly people ate it up. We were patriots, supporting the purge, exercising the rights given to us by our new founding fathers. Pizza and the purge went hand in hand from then on- it became more American than cherry pie and diabetes. Sales boomed and chains invested millions into allowances for purge deliverers to prepare and arm themselves every year. And from then on people learned, you don't fuck with pizza guy on purge night. "But just an inch isn't going to hurt it's not like-" "Jump out then." I snapped- dragged back into the present of the stifling heat. I know I shouldn't be too hard on Jon, and even I was starting to wonder if it'd really be so bad to let in some air. But just then we heard several loud pops in quick succession from down the street, and the boom of loud music began to vibrate its way into our seats. As we approached it was easy to see which house we were stopping at, especially considering how much pizza we were bringing to this one stop. A two story Victorian, with what used to be a nice lawn. Tonight however it was packed with people all pressing to get inside, crude graffiti was sprayed all across the front, music and strobes booming out of the windows, with what looked like several bodies swinging from a tree off to the side. Parties like these were either a gold mine or a death sentence. Massive gatherings that spring up in upscale neighborhoods whenever a rich families security failed. Drugs, killing, stolen property, everything would channel into these spaces for a few short hours before moving on. With as many people that had found their way to this particular insane celebration of death, there was probably enough stolen cash and jewels in the crowd to buy me and Jon both new cars and a long vacation. On the flip side though, these parties never stayed I one place long enough for us pizza guys to keep track of who attended or where they went. Which meant if one of us wound up robbed or dead at one, there was almost nothing the rest of us could do the following purge- and some folks knew it. As I slowed to a stop some dumb asshole even tried proving he knew it, a sent a shot skipping off our hood. Me and Jon both instinctively ducked despite being more than safe inside the armor that surrounded us. Another two loud C L A C K's skittered off the windshield. As we looked up to see where it came from we heard more shots and a cheer from the crowd. "Well.. they got him for us I reckon" I growled with what was as much a grin as it was a grimace. Jon looked a little rattled and I could see his hands shaking as he reached to unbuckle himself. I couldn't help but letting out a resigned sigh as I shook my head. "Nah you stay put" "But.." He looked in the backseat at the enormous stack of pies and then glanced nervously out the window to the crowd flooding into and around the house, "you can't carry it all on your own.." I let out a laugh that could've disturbed a witch and with what was certainly a grin this time I said "no Jon I can't, but I don't mean to.". I could see the questions in his eyes as his face turned to puzzlement but he didn't ask them out loud. "Keep it running" I told him with a nod to the wheel as I opened my door. It was a short walk around the car and through the growing mass of people up to the door but it felt like an eternity. When I reach the step two burly hooded figures with masks, and slightly more noticeable automatics tucked in their arms, stepped forward and one grunted to me "I don't see my supreme pizza in your hands bitch." Which elicited a rough laugh from the other. Before either could move I had my trusted Smith and Wesson in hand and aimed square at the head of the one who spoke. The music from inside boomed on but everyone in a fifteen foot radius went dead quiet, with all eyes trained at us. "In the car smartass, with thirty others" I replied with an even tone. The man went to take a step forward when a clear voice which I'm sure I'd heard before rang over to us- "Gentlemen, gentleemeeen.". Out of the front door stepped a slim clean cut young man whom I had seen on tv somewhere, some politicians son perhaps. No doubt he had his own security with him, these two goons were probably even part of the detail. "Gentlemen how can we expect these fine people to be fed if we deal with each other in such an unfriendly manner?". He approached me with his arms wide in a gesture of welcoming and scolded the men for being rude to "our guest". I lowered my gun and offered my left hand for a shake, which a grasped in his own and thanked me for supporting "our glorious right to purge". He called to someone inside and nodded to the two doors men and they followed me to the truck to unload. With every pizza the two men took out, others came from inside to fill the empty space with wallets, boxes of loose bills, jewelry, and even a small statue or two. By the end of it the back seats were filled to the roof and we struggled to get all of the valuables to stay out so we could shut the door without things falling out. "You know I could have let them kill you and your friend" the young man said nodding towards Jon, still in the passenger seat and eyes wide at our new cargo, "and then we could have kept all this for ourselves.". I looked up at the sky for a moment before responding, "aye you could've. But you didn't.". The man laughed with a smile that looked almost trusting- "no, no I didn't did I." And at that, he nodded again and turned back to the still growing throng of people bursting from the house. I immediately got into the truck and threw it in drive, tearing down the street back towards the store. We made it several blocks before I risked glancing back at our spoils, before I looked at Jon- still wide eyed at all the money overflowing from the back seats. "I.. the pay was good last year, I mean really good- but no one- no one gave us that much at once" he stammered out as he ran a hand through his hair in disbelief. I couldn't help letting out a cackle as I pulled a pack of camels from my vest. I lit up and took a long drag before responding with a stream of smoke "Nah new years don't get put on deliveries over three pizzas. It's your second though and you got the long straw to ride with me tonight" He blew out a long breathe of air and shook his head- still looking into the back at all of the money- "but there's so much of it?". There was a quiet buzz from my phone on the dash and a soft glow lit the cab as I looked down at the tiny screen. "You think that's a lot? wait till we get this unloaded to our portion of the vault back at the store. It's only half past, and the boss already has us lined up for another delivery"
58
u/visualpalace Mar 04 '18
My phone woke me up again.
This time, a call from my boss. I picked it up in a hurry because I already knew what he was calling me about. It was my favorite night of the year. And it would be my fourth and final night experiencing it. I'm going to be a man graduating free of any debts.
All thanks to this job.
At this point, I have a system. It's a little risky. But all of the deliveries are still made on time, and I never receive any complaints from my customers.
I pull into the driveway of the first house, grab the hot-bag, and ring the doorbell. I patiently wait. My heart beating. The first order of the night is always the most exhilarating.
The door opens, and a man in a bloodstained wife-beater stands before me. He was taking the name of the garment too literally I assume.
"$45 right?", he grunts.
I smile, reaching into my hot-bag.
"For you my friend, .44", I say as I launch 4 bullets into his brain.
I grab his wallet, taking out the $550 cash.
"Not Bad", I think to myself. The hourly rate will help as well.
I hop back in the car, grab a slice of cheese that the man had originally ordered, and put on my seatbelt.
Onto the next "order".
17
u/purplishcrayon Mar 04 '18
and I never receive any complaints from my customers
Freakin' excellent
2
-4
19
u/zazzyroot Mar 04 '18
"Dave, put out that cigarette!" hissed Martin. Martin was driving the car quickly and avoiding any side streets towards their delivery address. Dave had the window down listening to sounds of screams that drowned the night sky. A few bodies were littering the pavement with their blood, people caught out after 6. After one last drag he flicked it onto the side and closed the window.
On a night like this, Dave thought, and this guy is worried about smoking in the car. He rested his hands on the shotgun on his lap and scanned the area. After the incident from two years ago where nearly all the pizza boys were chopped up, management made them go in pairs and carry firearms. At least the bonus was good.
Soon, without witnessing too much death, they came towards the house. Martin stopped the car but kept it running in case there was a need of a quick get away. Dave opened the door and looked up at the house. A few lights were on inside flashing with music going, someone was having a party.
He walked up the driveway with pizza in hand and shotgun learned against his other shoulder. With his gun, he pressed the doorbell and took a couple of steps back. After a few moments the door opened to an individual sporting an ice hockey mask. Dave, unfazed by the person's appearance handed forth the pizza. "That's 15 please." he said looking a little inside. With the quick glace he saw a group of people drinking enjoying music, then he saw the old man in the chair. Tonight's main entertainment. Dave shrugged and turned back to the mask waiting patently for payment.
"Do I know you?" The mask asked. "You seem familiar like in school." "My name's David."
"I thought it was you!" The mask came off and stood before Martin was a school friend he hadn't seen in years. Dave studied the man in front of him intently. "Nick? Is that you?"
"Dude." Nick began to shake his hand eagerly. The two stood momentarily catching up on old times as the party continued. Nick handed over a wallet and told Dave to keep it. The previous owner didn't need it any more. Just before Dave turned to leave Nick push him forward towards the old man. Bound in the chair gagged and helplessly screaming for help. Dave quickly span around thinking this was a trick but no weapons were raised against him. Nick smiled of sinister intent. "Do you know who that is?" gesturing towards the old man. Dave turned and with a flash he knew.
HE KNEW.
Not a decade before, this man was a teacher in their school fired and arrested for indecent assault on a number of students. One of them had been Dave's younger brother. Without taking his gaze from Nick, Dave pointed his gun at the old man. Not truly knowing if it would be fatal or not. "May I?" He asked. Normally it was rude to kill someone else's prey.
"Be may guest." came the reply. With a simple squeeze a loud shot rang out followed by a roar of cheers from everyone in the house. Dave turned and saw a bloodied knee and leg slumped on the ground. The old man still alive. "I tracked him down last year," Nick explained. "Got some people together to do this, it's what he deserves." Dave smiled and nodded to his old school friend in agreement. He bade his farewells and got back in the car. Martin was trembling slightly. "I heard a shot and thought you were dead." He said, hands shaking on the wheel. But Dave wasn't listening, he clicked his fingers to get Martin to drive. He sparked another one ignoring the protest of the driver, while starting upward to the night sky, amongst the chaos of screams and blood curdled deaths; he relived that moment all night long. Finally. He thought, Justice.
5
u/edgeman83 Mar 04 '18
"Um, nope." "What do you mean nope?" "Even 50 times the normal rates isn't enough, especially since you are charging 200 times." "I don't need drivers who won't go the extra mile, so if you aren't willing to work don't show up on Monday." "As long as I don't die, you and your company can rot in hell." "... Millennials nowadays.."
2
u/KoodlePadoodle Mar 04 '18
The car roared, his foot pressed to the floor. The reinforced windows restricted the lights as he speed by. The heavy cow catcher tilted the car forward, occasionally catching on a body or something more gruesome. The Driver was stoic. His face was unreadable under the helmet. Not a sound came from the radio. I could make out at least three guns in the car and two on him. I was unfortunately less armed. And while the drivers jacket was military grade hardware, mine was nothing more than beefed up football gear. He shifted gears, slowing down to make a curve. I held the warm pizza bag on my lap. Shifted a little in the high speed turn. I wasn't wearing a helmet, but I did have my lucky cap. I readjusted it, trying to look cool. Anything to calm my nerves. This wasn't my first purge. Not my first delivery either. The GPS was showing the destination, right on central street. The Driver pulled around an overturned car and slowed down. The destination was some big office building around the corner. Rich guys having a pizza party to go with whatever sick white color fantasies they have cooked up there. It isn't really my concern, so long as they pay. We opened the door. The Driver had grabbed a rifle from behind the seat and started to scan the rooftops. Pizza in hand, I made my approach. We got around another flaming pile of debris before I saw the destination. Then they saw us. Some random citizen, exercising their purge rights. Judgeing by the bodies around them I'd say they were doing alright. I didn't need more than a second before I knew they were going to go for it. They would look see people, see our tell tale orange and red pizza logo, and my full hot bag. I sprinted for the nearest cover, ready to move closer to the destination. The Driver wasted all of 3 picoseconds before he raised his rifle and popped two quick shot before I even touched my hiding place. By then the group started approach us, two bullets blasted the concert where I had just been. A third busted a window next to the Driver. He flung the rifle around his back and pulled his pistol from his chest. I saw him pop around the corner and pull off another shot. That was my cue, I ran with all my might to a crashed car right on the stairs of the destination. The Driver fired a few more shots and appeared next to me. It's these little moments we get close. We don't talk much because he's a quite guy and I choose to focus on surviving the night. "Go" one quick word, telling me his entire plan. I sprinted towards the doors. Three more of the bandits remained. Their attention had been on the Driver, but seeing me carrying the delicious pizza across 30 feet of open air pulled their focus for just a second. That was enough. The Driver stood up and fired three times, dropping the last of the group. I slammed into the door, my pizza boy ID pressed against the glass. "Four Large pepperoni, extra olive!!" A buzzer blares and the doors slid open. The Driver and I walked inside, a receptionist wearing only half a rabbit mask and a lacey bra waved us to her desk. "Hello, how much is the bill sir?" She asked "95.78 plus tip" I said setting the bag on the counter. Behind it I saw a man in a timeless three piece suit with his intestines on the floor. The receptionist reached into his coat and pulled out a wallet. She fingered through a few bills and handed it to me, "that should be more than enough, he won't need it" Opening the wallet was full of bills no smaller than 100s so that was a good tip. I sipped the wallet into a pocket on my jacket. I tipped my cap at the receptionist and grabbed the empty pizza bag. The trip back to the car was uneventful, the Driver sat down and hesitated on starting the engine. I recognized it immediately and smiled. Two and a half hours left in the night, late enough for a break. I pulled a box from seat behind him. Large pepperoni, half pineapple (that animal) and half mushrooms. I opened the box, lifted a slice and offered it to him. I didn't need to see his face to know he was smiling for his slice of purge pizza.
0
2
u/GingerVitus215 Mar 04 '18
This is my first one, criticism is appreciated!
My head hung low as I parked my car, hearing distant screams, alarms and gunshots. " Purge night..." I mutter to myself as I glance around, before stepping out of the car and making my way inside the small family owned pizza shop. I inhale deeply at the smell, the old fashioned stone oven being used as my manager baked the pizzas. "You've got seven deliveries already," she said. I swallow and take a deep breath as she continues, "with three more in the oven." I pack up the pizzas in the delivery bag, take the delivery light and head back outside. Placing the light on the roof of my car, found the most convenient route and set on my way. The first seven deliveries were actually uneventful, but I still walked away with seven hundred in tips.
"I'm back," I say as I enter the store again. Silence. "Hello?" I say loudly, as I feel the fear quickly starting to build up. "She could be in the bathroom.." I mutter to myself. Glancing around the counter there's the next three deliveries and a note "done for the night go home." That was odd, I thought, we never closed early on purge night. I shrug and take the next set and go on my way. The first house, much more eventful then the last seven. A person in a cat mask answered the door, extending their arm inviting me inside. "I'm just bringing your pizza," I stammer. A scream from inside pierces my ears and I give them a look saying "get me the fuck outta here." The person stood there with their arm extended, still as a statue, I took a couple breaths, "I'm safe," I think to myself, "they don't kill delivery guys." Stepping inside I see a body of a woman on the ground with a male bound and gagged to a chair. Blood wad slowly dripping onto the floor from a wound in his leg, tears running down his face as he whimpered. I didn't know the story and I didn't want to. The cat masked person returned with two others. They took position on the sides of me, fear engulfing Me, "you don't kill the delivery boy.." I started to say as I felt pressure on my knees. Cat face lifted their mask slightly, a smile on their face. "Remember Me?" The voice was of the guy I bullied through school, as I saw the bottom of his boot heading towards my face. The last thing I remember is my nose breaking and thinking those other pizzas aren't going to make it to their destination.
1
u/redloxchox Mar 04 '18
"Booooooooonnnggg"
"That's it Willis. It's the purge".
Willis was a chubby young fuck. Curly haired jew lookin boy, he looks like a dear in the headlights when you talk to him. And he's giving me that look now.
"WILLIS!"
snapsnapsnap
"You don't have to be so scared dude. We're just going to hang out in here all night and wait for our shift to end."
"But Mr Mallone said that we have to deliver all the pizzas that-"
"FUCK Mr Mallone! And fuck Pizza Hut. I am NOT going out there to deliver some jackass his pizza in this Purge! I don't care if we're getting paid 50 times pay. 50 times minimum doesn't cover the funeral cost. So let's just lay back and eat some pizza"
"Okay" Willis tubs around slowly and starts preparing a pizza.
"Hey, what are you puting on it?"
Riiiiiiinnng
"SHIZZELNITS!"
Willis why are YOU REACHING FORTHE
"Don-"
"Hello this is Pizza Hut?"
GODDAMMITT WILLIS who even answers the phone like that?! You are such a-
"It's for you" Willis hands me the phone.
"This is Brad, how can I help you?
"Yeah can I get two large pepperoni?"
"No."
click
"Willis can you believe this ass hole? What are you doing with that?" BOOM- BOOBOOM "What the FUCK WILLIS! I think he hit me, my chest is definitely bleeding. I'm just going to lay down for a minute.
2
u/Kdrishe Mar 04 '18
"Look, we just can't afford this anymore. It started out as a promotional thing, but our insurance is charging way more now. Anyways, it just makes more sense to be closed on Purge night. Sorry, kid. Be here tomorrow at your normal time, unless of course... Ah! Hahaha! Seriously, get home and lock that shit up."
6
u/ztd753 Mar 04 '18 edited Mar 04 '18
I had started the job 2 years ago and I knew I really needed this night. It was a breezy night in Southern California, not necessarily cold but there was definitely a certain a chill in the air. I made sure to leave my husky, Mark, a little extra food as I made my way to The Shop for the night.
I arrived just in time for the manager to give his briefing on what was ahead of us . After that we got our vest and our helmet. In addition, they gave us a pellet gun, like that would do anything. I had my 9mm holstered if anything actually went down. After some routine families which handed me way too much money through a slot in their door I could barely fit the pizza box through.
My next order made my heart rate skyrocket as soon as I saw the address. I was headed to a poor region in the projects. As soon as I pulled into the cul de sac, I set down the pizzas in the middle of the street and backed up. It wasn’t long until I saw people running from all houses trying to grab their seemingly free pizza. At this point I grabbed my 9mm and had my shot. It sure as hell beat a shooting range and the first families gave me more than enough money to supply my bullets for next year.
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u/lvl5Loki Mar 04 '18
AR 15.. check, 9mm with 15 round clip and strobe light attachment.. check. I go over the list 3 4 times in my head. 20 extra 9mm clips.. check, machete for close range assault.. check. " Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something." 200 rounds for both the 9mm and AR 15.. check, kevlar vest.. check. "I swear I'm forgetting something" 2 bowie knives.. check, first aid kit.. check, 5 moltaves.. check, 3 Bics and a box of matches.. check, my post shift joint rolled and waiting for me on my coffee table.. check. "I really hope that was all"
I load every thing into my modified Geo Metro. Steel reinforced tires, it would take thermite to destroy these wheels, bulletproof windows, 50 cal sniper rounds can't pierce these. The entire body is one solid piece, you need to take off each panel to get to the hood, gas cap, underbody, brake lines, and there is only one door.
You may be wondering how I can afford these upgrades. Well when you are the only driver at Antonio's that is crazy enough to deliver hot fresh pizza to the neighborhood the money tends to add up when your customers tip very WELL. $100+ well.
The first year I trained for this my trainer, Joe, was a veteran of 10 years delivering on the Purge. He had a similar vehicle but mine has some upgrades, like my sweet CD player and the hole in the door that will deliver 12guage buckshot to your kneecaps.
This is my 6th year going solo and each year has become a bit easier with the ability to upgrade my car each year. This will be the easiest night since I finally have all the upgrades I want. This night should be a walk in the park, on a night where you shouldn't be walking in the park.
I arrive an hour early to get the gameplan. Everyone is starting to head home. Co-workers that would normally wish me a good night or give ya a "See ya tomorrow" don't even say a word. Half can't look you in the eye and the other half look at you like they won't see you again.
Since we are the only pizza place open this night we offer only a limited number of spots. We cap off at 10 with deliveries for 2 hours. Each order is prepaid with a nice tip added in. All I have to do is load the pizzas, drive to the address, drop the pizza at the front door, and drive back to the store.
First 5 deliveries were scheduled for the first hour. Honestly they went pretty smoothly. At each house I went over the check list Joe had taught me that first night. Survey the outside of the house, note the placement of bushes and trees (never turn your back to the trees), check the streets for any suspicious vehicles. Check your weapons, always have a loaded clip, take a moltov and knife just in case (better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it)
Nothing more than a couple people trying to get their Purge kill for the night. All they got was some lead to the skull. One guy is now a couple feet shorter when he tried to open my door, I forgot to check the bushes across the street when I went to get back in my car (Joe wouldn't have been happy with that fuck up)
The second hour was a bit more "exciting". Three guys tried to jump me at house 6, one guy got a knife to the left eye while his buddies had their intestines removed by my AR-15. House 7 and 8 were relatively quiet except for the asshole at house 8 that wanted to try to take me out from the treehouse across the street, treehouses look nice when they are engulfed in flames. 3 moltovs should last for the last 2 deliveries.
House 9 and 10 take the cake for typical Purge encounters. We don't usually do 2 deliveries at once but since it was the end of the night and my manager told me I could go home after, but just to call when the last delivery was successful so he could close out the system.
House 9 started off as normal. I got the pizza to the door and that's when I heard it. I hear the thud and thanks to the customers porch light I see a canister.
"Are you fucking serious with a flash bang"
I'm able to cover my eyes in time but the concusive force the grenade gives off I get knocked back,but not before I get my 9mm out. I see the 4 of them approach me.
"I bet your bloo.." My bullet rips off his lower jaw. 3 more headshots take out the rest. Until I feel the pain in my leg.
I didn't see their other friend that had snuck around the house and hit me in the back of the kneecap with a nightstick. I never liked when people gave long monologues in movies,because while he is going on about the "end of times" my machete finds the back of his skull.
House 10 was more of the same. A couple of "Purge virgins" that thought they could ambush me. This time I wasn't even chancing it. The AR 15 was out and made quick work of the 3 clowns, yes they wore clown suits.
The last stop is always where people get sloppy, and thats their own house. Joe made sure I understood that you have to take the same precautions as when you stop at a customers house. Everything was clear. I left everything in the car but the 9mm and knife. I'll unload the car in the morning.
The walk to the front door was all clear it was what happened next that stunned me. I get in the house, lock the door and already feel uneasy. The smell of cannabis and whiskey set it off, my gun in my hand I start the sweep of the house. I get to the living room when I hear his voice.
"So still risking your life for that quick cash eh"
"Dammit Joe I almost shot you. You could have told me you were stopping by. When did you get here."
"I got here when you left. You forgot something."
"Really Joe, I've been racking my mind trying to figure out what I forgot,what was it?"
"You forgot to change your security code."
Before I can react I see the end of Joe's gun, the flash of the muzzle, the sound of the bullet leaving the barrel, and then black.
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u/purplishcrayon Mar 04 '18 edited Mar 04 '18
Excellent twist.
*Added some thoughts if you were looking for input; otherwise skip this next part and know that it's a good story
I think you may intend tips to the in the thousands of dollars range
This is a little more difficult to read due to "draft" quality. The past/present tense bounces a little, there is a sprinkling of typos and stylistic inconsistencies. It's a very solid piece, but would be even better with some polish.
Some of your sentence structure would benefit from the use of a semicolon (;) as opposed to a comma. Typically, if you could use a period and still have it read accurately, a semicolon is preferential to a comma.
A couple general rules for number usage would help with readability:
Numbers one through nine are generally written out as words. (First five deliveries)
Numbers 10 and up are typically written numerals. (10, 11, 12...)
Numbers that start a sentence are typically written out. (Three Molotovs should last for the last two deliveries)
Things like 9mm and AR-15 are exempt from this. Your house numbers are ok as is, because they follow more in list fashion.
Keep writing :)
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u/lvl5Loki Mar 04 '18
Thanks. I wrote it on mobile so spell check and sentence structure had to rely on my own memory of proper grammer from high school,years ago.
I will take your suggestions and use them in my next submission.
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Mar 04 '18
Tiny nitpick here but 9mm pistols and AR-15s use magazines not clips
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u/lvl5Loki Mar 04 '18
Thanks for the input. I guess it shows how much I know about firearm terminology.
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u/JustARandomFuck Mar 04 '18
Good read, however I personally found the ending predictable
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u/lvl5Loki Mar 04 '18
I was trying to figure out an ending while writing so it could have been better but I was still pleased with it.
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u/mattyreaver162 Mar 04 '18
So I’m a pizza guy. I work purge night. Here’s the thing though. Those fuckers ain’t getting no pizza. Price is 10 times the usual rate. You know who orders 200 dollar pizza my man. Rich ass white people.
They expecting me to arrive. The young kid from the hood who needs a few dollars. But this homeboy ain’t got a pizza for you. Hell naw! This boy got a Glock and you got the money.
A few shots on purge night and no one bats an eye. These people don’t care about no one. Specially their dumbass neighbour who opens the door.
See there ain’t no pizza place open on purge night. And CJ pizzas. Well that’s a front I use.
You could say. Killing is my business. And motherfucker. Business is damn good.
Day after purge night. The kids on the block eat good. See ya boy CJ he looks after the block. And those people don’t need to know how I got the money for all these groceries. They just happy I got them.
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u/GoBlocks Mar 04 '18
Being a pizza delivery boy has its perks these days. When we once complained and campaigned for more off-days, we now eagerly awaited Purge Night for the windfall to be had. Provided our immunity was respected, that is.
Why did this remind me of an anime I'd seen before?
Like the nameless anime, my coworkers and I lined up to be briefed by our general manager: eager, crazed grins decked our faces as adjusted our flack jackets.
"Alright, ladies and gentlemen," she began. "It's that time of year again, and you know the rules,"
"No rules!" We shouted in unison.
"That's right. Remember that many of these hoity-toity types with masks have forgotten what it's like to be part of the working class. Do your job, but remember: if they try anything funny, put 'em down, no questions."
I clutched gently but excitedly at the cold steel at my waist. No doubt the McKays and their bratty Ivy Bitch of a daughter would be out on the town tonight. Multiple scenarios rushed through my head on how I could abuse my immunity.
Getting paid a year's income in one night plus revenge on the side? It was going to be a fun night.
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u/purplishcrayon Mar 04 '18
Great piece!
Your writing has a great voice and flow. It reads quick and clean, and makes me want to look for more of your writing
I would suggest italicizing Why did this remind me of an anime...
Also: *flak jacket
Keep writing! I look forward to more
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u/Pandastrong35 Mar 04 '18
Newb at this:
The ‘72 Datsun 510 purrs slightly, the whir of the a/c blowing cool air into the car. A glance across the street from the current address reveals that this part of the Heights in Houston have been hit rather thoroughly this year.
A woman hangs from a tree by her ankle, dead. Her family litter the yard and front porch of their craftsman style home.
Next door gunshots ring out and a man runs out of the front door, blood streaming from a gash on his head. He trips, falls down the front porch stairs, rolls and produces a pistol. A woman wearing a Nixon mask follows close behind. The man takes cover behind a giant oak tree. Panicked, he glances at me, does a double take, and smiles oddly. He takes a deep breath and rolls to his right, opening fire and leaving the purger crumpling under his strongly accurate fire. He walks over to the body, removes the mask, spits in the face of the dying woman and walks back inside the house. Three more shots ring out.
A look in the rear view mirror, a quick check of the Kevlar and sidearm reveal I’m likely ready.
This is the sixth house of the night and I’m on magazine number five. The previous house was a fun little escapade into getting paid. Never had to shoot through purgers to get to the client before. Definitely had to shoot The cut on my face will heal, but the perforated eardrum from the flashbang might not.
I grab my bag, open the car door, and head to the front door.
As I step on the top step, the neighbor from before jogs out.
“Hey, is it for the Guerra’s or the purgers?”
I peruse my list, and sure enough, it’s for the Guerra’s.
“Guerra’s,” I say curtly.
The neighbor poses no threat to me, with gun at his side.
“Oh good,” he says. “They like pizza on purge days. They’re good folks. I’m gonna fuck the asshole-purgers in there. Wanna help? I’ve got another $1k for you if you say yes.”
I nod, reach out and ring the doorbell. This makes twice.
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u/purplishcrayon Mar 04 '18
I like your take on this.
It gets a little wordy here and there, an he could probably stand another run-through for flow.
Overall, very cool. Keep it up
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u/Pandastrong35 Mar 04 '18
Thanks for that. Definitely going to run through more times on the next one.
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u/Lostmyfnusername Mar 04 '18
Going out for pizza was too risky and the stores were likely cleaned out anyway. People were getting hungry and there was literally nothing in there house to eat ... accept there was but they didn't feel like having any of it.
It was my first delivery and the first stop was a secluded home in the forest. When I arrived there were huge fires set to hedges that were shaped like animals with a few drunk men shouting into the nite sky. it seemed those men took over a mansion. The man comes up to you and takes the pizzas from your hands without paying you.
"Sooo where is the money. The bill comes out to $700," I said with an angry look.
The man looks back to me and laughs hysterically. "No one is going to pay that much for pizza boy. I'd sooner starve for a short time than pay that much for a meal. You should have expected this."
The man took out his gun and looked at me saying, "so you going to kill me over a couple of pizzas? ... Thought not."
You hop in the car angrily and figured he was right. If you want to get paid, I'm going to need to be a little more "assertive." Without a second thought you put the petal to the metal and go after the man. As shots were fired I stayed down until I felt a bump. I quickly turned the car around, got out, and took the man's gun. With my new gun in hand, I drove off as the man's friends with bad aim shot at me. I was now ready for the rest of my deliveries.
A few more houses tried to stiff me but I was having none of that and either threatened them or just stole what wasn't bolted down from the rich a-holes. A few people were surprisingly nice but that didn't stop me from shooting them and taking their belongings.
Half way through my deliveries I get the idea to make pizzas myself and sell to a few people on the side. I call my girlfriend. We had Digiorno so I figured they couldn't tell the difference. They could, but they didn't care and payed me anyway.
The end of the purge is approaching and you head back to base. After handing over your cash bag you look at the clock and before the final hour strikes, your employer says, "we aren't going to pay you." Simultaneously he pulls out a gun and waits for the purge to be over. As the purge comes to a close the employer puts his gun down and says, "hope there are no hard feelings"
Immediately after you shoot him and as the cash bag hits the floor, you see the random crap you stuffed in it come out. As the police come to clean up the bodies, they just assume he was killed during the purge and don't give it a second thought.
After the car repairs, hospital bills, and gas were paid, I noticed I would have been in the red if I didn't loot some places.
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u/CadAthens Mar 04 '18
Alright kiddos, lemme tell ya a story. A story of how a lazy asshole like me can get big in a world that the Purge exists.
Lemme ask you kiddos a question: who owns everything? The fuckin rich that's who. So that's who's ass ya gotta kiss. You know how easy it is to make a delivery pizza joint in the great U.S. of fuckin A? Make it cater to the rich folks. Add caviar and some vegan dough and other bullshit, ya make it for like 12 bucks at your place and charge em for 50. They ain't gonna tip anyway.
Do this during your normal year, make sure it gets past security. If they're insistent, tell em they ain't gettin their fuckin pizza. You need to see the big man himself. Get familiar with the staff, "how's ya family Bob, kids growing up fast huh Rebecca?" Ya just ya family friendly pizza delivery guy.
But boy oh boy when that special day comes, ya gonna wreck hell on earth baby. They love ya on purge day, even security doesn't bat an eye at ya. But inside that pizza box ain't no pizza, no sir no ma'am. You got yourself there a special sawed off for all those fuckers. Make the head sign the will off of the house to ya, and boom you just got a house baby! And if they dont comply, they usually got a wife or kid, tell em all the awful shit you're gonna do to em if ya don't. then ya blow them fuckin heads off haha!
Do that couple of times around the country, and consider yourself the proper land mongrel ya are!
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Mar 04 '18
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u/PrincessIsababble Mar 04 '18
This one really sticks out to me. You told a different story than most of the others here, and the ending was pleasantly unexpected yet also wholesome? Great blend of a dark theme with lighthearted tones, and awesome final line. Wonderful job!
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Mar 04 '18
Thank you. I don't think you know how much I appreciate that. I actually avoided reading the other stories so they wouldn't influence mine.
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u/kittheking Mar 04 '18
- You get a pizza
- You get a pizza
The regular grind of the week
Ring goes the bell
Sign then the squeal
Of me missing a tip so i leave
But night of the purge
Night of the purge?
Even the strong can be weak
Answer the door
A body to floor
Cant stiff me if your body's concrete
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u/Niedsy Mar 04 '18
I was taking a shit, and totally forgot about what day it was. Yeah, I have been making $15/hr but so what. Tonight was different. And I forgot about it...
There I was, shitting my brains off from my own pizza. Then I find out it's the night. Yeah, THE night. Couldn't believe how soon it came upon us.
Purge night doesn't happen too often, every ten years. Unfortunately, it can be sooner than that depending on what is going on in the World. Today was different. I can't really explain it but you could smell and sense it in the air.
The day was the 13th of November 2250 for the first Purge. At least that's what the history books taught, but we were 300 years later for the Purge to end all Purges. Earth was on the brink of nuclear warfare and that is when things halted. The UN as well as other Nations had come together because they realized the costs of nuclear warfare.
That day, Earth had basically approved of a 'Worldwide Purge' to help bring "Peace" amongst us. Technology had gotten too advanced and it threatened our existence; thus resulting in a 'Purge' every decade (unless ramifications need one sooner).
From that day, I still can smell the air and remember the feeling of that day. The day that changed Humanity forever and to end all Purges.
"They" had landed a few days before the 'Purge'. At first, we thought it was an ally in an attempt to escape the Purge and control what had happened and bring a Totalitarian view on Earth.
The alarms had sounded. I will never forget that noise. The last time the alarms were sounded were 70 years ago, so that piercing noise sticks with you. It seemed like the alarms every first Wednesday of the month for an emergency test, but this, this was different. I, as well as others, had never heard a piercing scream like this before.
Like I said, I was in the bathroom and that is when I heard the alarm. I had no clue what to do, my heart was racing. I scanned the bathroom to see what I could use as a potential weapon if it came to be. I also wanted to make sure no one knew I was in a stall, so I opened up the door to my stall and sat on the toilet with my legs propped up in the air to not be seen.
Looking back, that simple decision in the bathroom had saved my life, as well as millions of others.
My name is, Krombopulos Michael, and this is my story of how I became an assassin to save the Earth.
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u/purplishcrayon Mar 04 '18
Ok. It has a couple issues, but you have me hooked... next installment?
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u/Niedsy Mar 04 '18
LOL I bet! Kind of jumps around a bit. Honestly, I wasn't planning on it but I'm going to now!
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u/ExpertGamerJohn Mar 04 '18
I don’t get the ending
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Mar 04 '18
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u/Niedsy Mar 04 '18 edited Mar 04 '18
Thank you! Your comment definitely made my week :)
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u/Yatagurusu Mar 04 '18 edited Mar 04 '18
My first piece ever, please tear it to shreds so I can learn
One more year. This is it, my last year. I'm never doing this again, no matter how much they say they'll pay me.
'Yes it does taste delicious doesn't it. That'll be 12 pounds, sir. Don't pay me and I won't give you the antidote.'
The antidote was literally a tic tac.
You see you might think this profession is dangerous, but people realised that not having any delivery boys for the next few weeks wasn't the best way to celebrate all their ill gotten gains.
But you can never tell. For example, last year someone tried to take my Tikka Massala. But this year he won't be a problem. Unless he steals himself some new hands.
I remember on one of my first shifts someone tried to pull a runner. He forget I had to follow the law as much as he did. A good debraining with my pistol reminded him.
But really, this year is my last year. I'm getting old. My wife worries about me at home and my children are growing up. I should spend more time with them.
Perhaps this year I'll have enough to finally give my wife that dress she's always wanted. It was pink and frilly, and would really only look appropriate in the fanciest of ball rooms. But i didn't care, that woman was worth every penny.
I just needed every penny first.
'please don't shoot sir, you'll find I'm wired with C4, so if my heart stops, you'll stop too. After being blasted 30 feet away that is.'
He didn't even give me a tip, some people are so miserly.
I crossed the road towards my last delivery site. Ah 3 dolor lane. My home. My wife must have ordered food so she could see me at work. She was always thoughtful like that, she would probably want to clean the blood out of my hair when I got home.
I opened the front gate, something smelt off. It smelt like... Like burned steak. My wife was a terrible cook. She was probably trying to surprise me but ruined a perfectly good steak.
I stepped towards the door and heard moaning. Were my kids really that hungry? It was only one o'clock.
I rang. I rang again.
Twice more.
The door opened and I breathed out a sigh of relief. I hadn't been aware I was holding my breath.
'Hi honey, you coo-'
I stopped mid sentence. This was my old neighbour Jim. What?
Why?
'Jim where the fuck is my family' I yelled. My eyes bulging in fury. My hand reaching for my gun.
He took a step to the side. And smiled.
My wife hung limp from the ceiling behind him. Her eyes gouged out and her stomach was torn open, bile leaking out of her abdomen.
No that could not be wife!
Those red holes in her skull weren't the soft brown I fell in love with at high school. Those charred stumps weren't the hands the caressed me at night. That wasn't the body that had given me my three children.
The ruined remains hung there, staring at me. Accusing. My children were on the floor, moaning.
They should not be alive.
'help me daddy!' 'please daddy my arms aren't on me.' 'daddy please stop it hurting.' 'daddy why aren't you saying anything, I can't see you?'
My children, my beautiful children. God make it stop, please make it stop hurting. Fluid drips down me cheeks yet I do not remember crying. My mouth opens to scream yet I hear nothing but the ringing in my ears. Just make it stop.
I drop to my knees.
All the while, Jim keeps smiling, staring at me. Mocking , he knew he had won. The stumps, that remained of his hands, had knives stuck inside them. Cruel vicious edges serrated and curved. Designed to inflict maximum damage. He smiles, his teeth blood red and his eyes bloodshot. He had lived this long to spite me. His vengeance was done and he was proud.
'daddy it hurts, make it stop daddy!' My youngest wailed.
He had always been a sweet boy. Next week would have been his seventh birthday.
I brought the pistol to my mouth.
And the sound of explosions rocked the neighbourhood.
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u/stealthybastardo Mar 04 '18
No father would kill himself in that situation, at least not before finishing his kids and Jim if he's despairing enough to end it all.
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u/azzzzzaa Mar 04 '18
He literally blew himself and the house up. He was wired with C4 and when his heart stopped he blew. Not the best writing but that part was explained
"And the sound of explosions rocked the neighbourhood"
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u/stealthybastardo Mar 04 '18
I think the father would definitely want to do it himself and say goodbye to his kids at least... Just my opinion.
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u/honkey-ponkey Mar 04 '18
Need more explanation of Jim. Like why doesn't he shoot him for example.
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u/azzzzzaa Mar 04 '18
By killing himself the C4 blew thus killing Jim in the process one can assume by the last line. He had explained earlier in the story that he was wired with C4
"And the sound of explosions rocked the neighbourhood."
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u/DeseretRain Mar 04 '18
please tear it to shreds so I can learn
You need punctuation at the end of your dialogue. You can’t just leave the end of the sentence hanging with no punctuation. If the dialogue is a sentence on its own, it should start with a capital and end with a period (or exclamation mark or question mark.)
If the dialogue is just part of sentence, you need a comma after it. (Like if something like “he said” or “he yelled” comes after it, you’d write it like this: “Blah blah blah,” he said. The exception would be if the dialogue ends with a period or exclamation mark, then you put that in, but if it’d normally end with a period you use a comma.)
Also dialogue is denoted with double quotes, like this “.
For example, you should have written:
“Jim, where the fuck is my family?” I yelled.
“Help me, daddy!”
Also a stake is what you use to slay vampires, a steak is meat that you eat.
Also in general, sentences that are questions should end with question marks; you have a lot of questions in here that you just end with periods for some reason.
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u/purplishcrayon Mar 04 '18
^ this is all a good start.
If you had more development in the beginning, the ending would be clearer. Some people picked up on the C4, some did not. It also takes a level of skill to wire an explosive so it's dependant on a heartbeat, you could go into how he accomplished that.
If the antidote has been a tictac for four years, you're suggesting no one picked up on that? No repeat customers?
We are to assume Jim is cooking the narrator's wife?
Unless Jim dissected the wife to hit just her upper small intestine and gallbladder, bile is the last thing you would notice from a stomach wound.
Where/how is she hooked to the ceiling?
The story for me really goes downhill as far as realism and believability from the "what's coo..." line onward. The choice of "knives in stumps" despite what would be available due to modern medicine, children who "should not be alive" talking coherently (typically if you rip someone's arms off they will pass out from blood loss-there's a major artery that runs from your armpit area down the underside of your arm)
Your premise is a viable one, but could use a lot of overhaul
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u/DeseretRain Mar 04 '18
It’s always scary going out on Purge night.
I tell myself that I’ll probably be fine. It’s rare for anyone to kill the pizza delivery person.
After all, if it became common to kill us—or worse (worse from the perspective of Papa John’s, at least) to stiff us on the bill—then it wouldn’t be profitable for the pizza places to stay open on this night. So they’d all start closing on Purge night, and then no one would have pizza. And nobody wants that.
It’s already tough to find people to work this night. Most people either want to take part in Purging, or they just want to hole up somewhere safe.
Because we do get killed sometimes, even if it’s rare. Getting beaten is more common—as long as we get paid and we’re alive to bring back the money, Papa John’s doesn’t care.
Rape is a bigger worry, but that’s why I bought this steel chastity belt. It’s saved me a few times.
So the worst I’ve ever gotten on Purge night is a few broken bones.
It’ll probably be no different tonight. I repeat that to myself, again and again.
Most people—all those people holed up somewhere safe—don’t consider the risk worth it.
But I have a confession to make: I’m a lazy asshole. I fucking hate working.
But one night of work a year, just one fourteen hour shift, and I’m set until next year. On top of the huge hourly rate I get from Papa John’s, people tend to tip like crazy on this night. After all, they want to make sure the pizza will still be coming next year, and they’ve often got plenty of extra stolen cash lying around.
So I just have to get through tonight, and then it’s an entire year of sitting on my ass playing video games.
I dream about the relaxing year ahead as I exit my apartment and get into my car.
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u/radmemethrowaway Mar 04 '18
OP where to cop the chastity belt? I know about the tear-proof underwear, but I’m interested in the solid steel armor aesthetic.
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u/DeseretRain Mar 04 '18
They sell steel chastity belts as fetish items, I figured that’s where she got it, it would work.
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Mar 04 '18
Living off of 7,000 dollars a year + tips must suck.
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u/Aleph_Sharp Mar 04 '18
Going on how much people seem to steal in the purge and how little fs are given about money, plus how much they all want pizza, its seems like itd be more like ~$7,000 a delivery (in tips, I assume the pizza place doesnt increase that much, because, again, purge.
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u/shoemanship Mar 04 '18
I'll never figure out what my boss got out of this.
It's not like they couldn't just come in and steal the pizza anyways, and half the time I got held up instead of paid. Not that I was stupid enough to keep any money on me but it gets to be annoying when you have to explain you don't carry a wallet to the fifth mad max reject you've seen in an hour. Fuck, if I could find a way to get at the guy with my student loans I wouldn't be doing this anyways, but the tips make it all worth it.
Oh no, people don't just give out tips. There's the occasional party guy who tosses out hundreds like I'm the world's ugliest pizza man/stripper but that's not what I'm talking about. The pay raise is nice too but it's not nearly enough to compensate for the amount of people I've seen being fucked to death. No, the real tips come when someone slips up and opens the door without a weapon.
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Mar 04 '18
What a twist. I like it
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Mar 04 '18
I dont understand the twist, can you explain it pls
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u/ppp475 Mar 04 '18
Someone without a weapon probably won't stand very long against someone who does.
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Mar 04 '18
So the story sets up the perspective of the writer as potential prey but ends it as a predator. He says the real tips come when someone answers the door without a weapon, implying he robs them or worst. All these story set up the perspective that's it's a dangerous period of time for the delivery guy with danger around each corner. I thought it was cool that the writer is not at the mercy of the people he is delivering to but they are at the mercy of him.
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Mar 04 '18
Ooohh but then it’s sorta weird how he sais the pay is not enough for how many ppl he’s killed, because he’s killing/robbing people themselves... ah well, great writing anyway!
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u/dcanddinky Mar 04 '18
I was supposed to be off work this year. I just got the newly Trump banned AR-15 from the black market and I was supposed to be protecting my mom and dad who are stuck in a nursing home. A locked door isn't going to stop purgers from killing the old and weak for fun. We were playing scrabble one hour into the Purge when my boss called. He offered me 50 times pay and promised a paid week off next month along with never having to work on Purge night again. His last worker called in sick and we are the most popular pizza in town. Mom and Dad don't have much money left and the rates are going up at the home. I tell them I am going to the vending machine and keep their phone with them. I'll call them on my way to the store and tell them not to worry. I call my boss and tell him I'm on my way but I want my pay up front or he is out of business tonight. He agrees. I see his car out front and I park in the back. I knock on the back door and he lets me in. As he goes over the orders, I see the stacks of bills on the counter. I ask him if he can help me pack up the pizzas while I clear some room in my car. I go back outside and get my AR. He promised me the same things last year.
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u/TheRealHanBrolo Mar 04 '18
Trump is a conservative. you know that right? Him banning an AR-15 would be like Hillary banning Muslims and gays. It just won't happen.
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u/Stonevulcan Mar 04 '18
Congress just introduced H.R. 5087 as the 2018 assault weapons ban. Not by Trump, but it could happen this year.
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u/boyferret Mar 04 '18
A. This is a universe were the Purge exists and that doesn't happen either.
B. He just talked about taking people's guns and knives and stuff away if they were a deemed a threat and then having a trial. Which is a very odd order of events for a conservative. Also he might have retracted or clarified what he said by now, I don't follow politics to carefully.
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u/dcanddinky Mar 04 '18
"take the guns first, go through due process second.”
Who said it? A. Trump B. Hillary C. TheRealHanBrolo
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u/TheRealHanBrolo Mar 04 '18
Holy shit I just googled that. My God the dude is a nutter
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u/Controller_one1 Mar 04 '18
If that rattled your rocks, he just joked about following China's lead and declaring himself president for life
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Mar 04 '18 edited Mar 04 '18
You know what 's the best fucking job in the world? Delivering pizzas on purge night. That's if you can stomach the blood and handle the crazies.
"I-Is this it?" Carl, the newbie and possibly Jonah hill's long lost twin, asks as we pull up in front of the house. The fucking manager is making me train him. Bitch still pissed i smashed and left. She'd fire me if she could.
I turn to Carl, pit stains on his shirt, his hands trembling on the wheel, he's still sitting in the car a minute later. "Deliver the goddamn pizza, it's not that hard! Aint nobody gonna fuck with you."
It's the unwritten rule. When you go around killing pizza guys on purge night they stop delivering on purge night and who wants to go trigger happy on an empty stomach? No one that's who.
Carl nods and grabs the box sitting in the backseat. He turns to me before stepping out of the car. "Just...deliver the p-pizza right?"
"What the fuck else you gonna do?" He nods again and heads for the door. I roll down the window and yell at him, "Don't let them stiff you!" If i had a dollar for every time some asshole points a gun to my face thinking they can get a free pizza...well, i wouldn't be delivering pizza.
Carl comes back a few minutes later, at least i think it's Carl. He pulls open the door and slams it back shut. "What the fuck? You gonna break the-"
He shoots me a look, his brows kissing, his nostrils flaring and his eyes wild. Carl grips the steering wheel, scrunching up the leather.
"What happened?" He doesn't answer. " Look man, it gets better. Eventually you're not gonna hear the screams anymore."
"They've got a girl in there," he says as he turns the key and the old death trap with a giant Papi's Pizza sign on top revs to life. "It's my sister."
I grip my seat as he spins the car around and slams the gas. The car burst forward. There's a loud crash and screams and pain and the next thing i know we're parked in the living room. Carl, bloody and bruised, grabs my emergency shot gun i keep strapped to the dash board and gets out the car.
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u/AwesomeLandia Mar 04 '18
I love the direction you took us with your story. I want to know what happens to Carl, the narrator, and Carl's sister, but it's even better letting my imagination run wild. Carl isn't set up to be a winner, but we root for him and his sister so much. Nice work!
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u/offBrandon Mar 04 '18
Carl had already lost his only brother during a failed robbery attempt at Nakatomi Plaza, over a decade ago. He had played the memory of his brothers death over and over in his head during his long recovery in the prisoners wing at LA General. He rubbed his chest, where he still had the scars or having been shot down that day while trying to avenge his brothers death. Since he escaped custody while being transported to stand trial, he had been forced to lay low, alter his appearance, and change the first letter of his name. He resented having to get a job delivering pizza, but now he realized it all happened so that he would be at this house, on this night. There was no way that he was going to lose his sister, too. Not if he could do anything about it.
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Mar 04 '18
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Mar 04 '18
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u/FlyingCementTruck Mar 04 '18
They’ve got a girl in there It’s my sister Could either be Carl’s sister or the teller’s sister. Idk. But I get sucked into stories quite fast. Not unlike this one things make me think about what could happen next, and often my head just fills in the missing pieces.
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Mar 04 '18 edited Mar 04 '18
More like among people about to be shot. Nothing rapey here...i think.
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u/Benivav Mar 04 '18
"Honey please, please just not this time! I hate it out there! The looting, the raping, the murdering. I don't want to be out there. I want to be with you, to protect you, Lisa."
"I know Jeremy, it sucks and I hate it too. But Eliza needs diapers and we need that bonus. Plus, you make a killing from tips! And no one is going to even lay a finger on ya. They all want some kind of takeout."
"Fine honey. But next year, next year we're not going to have to go out. Love you hun!"
As Jeremy left their apartment, he rushed in his bright blue shirt, plastered with a Domino's Pizza logo to his local branch. He paused long enough to stick a large and lit up Domino's Pizza sign on the roof of his car. By the time he pulled up to the parking lot he could hear the sirens wailing as the TV announced the rules of the Purge.
Orders were already flooding in when he entered. The manager handed him a large, heavy and red bag with a bunch of addresses on top of it. He sighed as he took the bag knowing it'll be a long night.
His first two deliveries were, uneventful. One was a lonely man, probably playing video games and the other was a family hunkering down. His third though, was a real purger. As Jeremy pulled up to the house he saw a man wearing a cat mask standing on the porch, the wall behind him painted red and peppered with holes.
As Jeremy's stomach tied in knots, he got out the car and approached the man with the offering of pizza.
"That'll be 27 dollars, s-sir"
The man looked at him and tossed him a wallet and said, "Keep the change kiddo", before jumping off the porch and walking over to the neighboring house. Jeremy got out as fast as he could.
As the sun finally rose, to finally judge people for their actions did Jeremy breath a sigh of relief. He would go home now, to his wife and baby girl. He'll be safe. He won't have to watch and endure rape, murder, blood and gore. He earned 17,614 dollars from tonight. It'll be enough for anything Eliza will need, and it might be enough for Lisa to go back to a few more college classes.
That was it. He made it through another night. He'll bring back some much money, that they can be happy. He was thinking that while he was driving through streets of sin, on fire and dotted with bodies or blood, basking in the light of the now judging sun.
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u/Coma-Doof-Warrior Mar 04 '18
Change the dudes name to Johnny and you've got a fucking amazing The Room AU fic!
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Mar 04 '18
Must not be America. Nobody gets college that cheap these days
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u/pennythemostdreadful Mar 04 '18
Hey, that would just barely pay for one semester for me. That's better than nothing right?
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u/KenDefender Mar 04 '18
Thanks for the classy/ambiguous ending, lesser authors would have ended it with some poor attempt at shock horror.
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Mar 04 '18
Nice writing! I love how you varied your sentence lengths and added a lot of great detail. Some of the sentences were confusing and the point was muddled in descriptions, like "he rushed in his bright blue shirt," I expected you to say where he was rushing, not what he was wearing. Also, the story seemed a little rushed. You added so much great detail, especially at the beginning, then to push through. It felt like the plot/time limits pushed the story rather than events or the character. I really enjoyed reading it, I hope the feedback helps :)
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u/Benivav Mar 04 '18
Really does. Thanks! I've been writing short stories for quite a while but my biggest problems are pacing and endings. I suck at making endings
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Mar 04 '18
Hahaha, I know what you mean! I think Stephen King got it right in his book, On Writing. He says let the characters drive the story, just tell the truth. You know people, who cares about the ending anyways. It's about the drive :)
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u/Solstus22 Mar 08 '18
*You wanna know what's the most fucked up thing? It's not the fact that I have a shit job working as a delivery boy, I mean how the hell was I supposed to know that serving in the military for 5 years wouldn't guarantee me a good job? What the hell was I thinking. It's not the fact that its happening on the Annual Purge Night, it's pretty much gun-nut's Christmas in July and they're just celebrating like it's their 18th err, correction: 21st birthday. And it's not even the fact that as a delivery boy, they allow me to be armed to the teeth, then again on this particular night who gives a shit about the whole 'guns kill people' rhetoric? No one, not even the damn anti-gun pansies who I've seen running around with the same guns they said they'd never touch in their lives. Hypocrisy, thy name is anti-gun.
Anyways back to me, its the fact that of all places they have me deliver a damn pizza it had to be in Old Town, a small district located in the Inner City, it used be some major hotshot port back in the day; when slaves were still legal to own; but hell in this case: the client sent me 5 grand, Five. Fucking. Grand. To deliver this pizza to him. Even when it ain't P-Night, I still wouldn't drive in this area, from what I hear this used to be a hotbed of homelessness that practically spoiled the image of a 'homely' land in Old Town. But since the 'New Founding Bigwigs' took over, they all suddenly disappearing and I'm thinking 'Shit', I sound like a conspiracy freak thinking they'd be responsible for this vanishing act.*
I take a deep breath. "Oh sweet mother of God, please please don't make me disappear." I stepped out of my car, pizza box in my left hand and my phone beeped.
WALK TO THE FRONT DOOR THATS COLOURED GREEN WITH RED BLOOD AND KNOCK ON THE DOOR
My eyes followed the pattern of doors lined up, and deeply glanced at the one that's green, and hey: its stained with blood. My nervous feet rushed me over to the door. Another beep.
GOOD.
A loud knock came from my hand. "Hello! Pizza from Louie Cadaver's Pizzeria?" Cute, and the slogan? "Where pizza isn't the only thing that's stuffed in a box." I need to have a word with whoever came up with that slogan. No wonder.
Suddenly a door opens and a man, dressed in black with a balaclava mask that matched, with a loaded assault rifle. My gaze hardened. Hmm, an M16. My phone beeped again. I looked down and looked at the armed gunman. He nodded at me but sternly pointed at his rifle, his gaze and at me. Jesus, I get it.
HAHAHAHA. THANKS FOR THE PIZZA. NOW YOU DIE.
Oh, you son of a bitch... The typing icon appeared.
BTW, LOUIE SENDS HIS REGARDS.
OH, YOU. SON. OF. A. BITCH. In a split second, my sleight of hand ended a tense moment with my sawed off shotgun brandished and a shell of shrapnel splattered on the gunman, with his front chest, and face riddled with holes poured with blood and shreds of entrails spread like confetti. My pizza box was covered as well. Well, guess I'm not getting paid tonight. With my second shell still unfired, I stare at my phone that still showed the text 'LOUIE'.
Well let's just say, from that point on: I knew it was time to go look for another job. And I anxiously headed back to the car to turn in my 'resignation.'