r/asktransgender • u/somin987 • 12h ago

Is it bad that I get jealous when cis girls complain about their periods?

Im 15 transfem and all my friends are cis girls. They very often complain to me or each other about their periods and all the unpleasant stuff that comes along with it. While I always try and be supportive and tell them how much that must suck, in reality all I can think is how deeply jealous of them I am. I genuinely wish so badly that I could have a uterus and have periods and yet they all get to complain about it. Lots of them are on birth control for it, and like the fact they choose to give up something I want so badly also makes me jealous. Obviously Id never say any of this to them, because I understand why they find it unpleasant, but its hard not to envy it, especially when its something they have the privilege of complaining about. Is it bad that I feel like this and can anyone relate?

23 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

11 comments sorted by

8

u/Millie_Beans 7h ago

No this is a pretty common sentiment for many of us, I think for you especially because you want to be able to fit in more with other girls around your age and so it's probably triggering your dysphoria more

5

u/E_L_Friday-084 5h ago

No, it’s pretty common. I’ve made my peace with it at my age. But, having a womb doesn’t define womanhood. Think of womanhood as a language. Cis and Trans are accents of said language. The cadence would be “you”. Your personality, confidence, masc or feminine qualities, etc.~^

Same language. Different accents. ♥️♥️

2

u/CapitalPutrid 7h ago

Feeling left out from a part of life can be a very overwhelming. When I was a kid I used to be incredibly jealous of teen boys that got acne. For me it was about not getting to experience adolescence like my peers.

1

u/VagusNervosa 5h ago

Nah this is a p common thing

1

u/Pixie_Lizard Transgender-Bisexual 3h ago

Not uncommon. I can relate as well. It's about having what feels like an authentic, shared experience with other women. We want the whole damn deal. Trans women aren't picking and choosing pieces of what it means to be a women to get some kind of ideal, engineered existence...most of us just want the totality of what it "means" to be a woman.

1

u/Immediate_Plum3545 6h ago

"Be grateful you don't have to go through this"

Fuck off, I'm paying thousands of dollars to get rid of my part and would pay even more for the opportunity to go through it if it meant I could get pregnant. You're well within the bounds of normalcy to feel that way. So many of us do. It's hard but cis women will rarely understand and may will be outright hostile if you dare say that to them

2

u/Pixie_Lizard Transgender-Bisexual 3h ago

Very much so...I've never told a cis woman about this sentiment and likely never will unless they're an incredibly good friend and could be trusted to take it well. It can be complicated to understand, but it is the reality.

2

u/46264338327950288419 2h ago

I am a normal girl but my gf is cis and she also doesnt get periods due to medical reasons. She shares this sentiment to a certain degree.

2

u/Immediate_Plum3545 2h ago

...normal girl?

1

u/46264338327950288419 2h ago

Yes. I call myself a normal girl to differentiate from my gf who is cis

/j the joke is that I am trans