r/barrie • u/Just1Justin1 • 2d ago
Question 4 Way Stop Drama - what is happening here?
Ok Barrie - can I ask why is it that when I'm the last to arrive at a 4 way stop - the other car(s) who were there when I got there - all wave me through (and I'm not sexist here) but it's always women who just wave me through. WHY?
You gals like sitting at the 4 way stop or something? Do we not know the standard rules at a 4 way stop in Ontario? Have the rules changed? I used to be - first to arrive, first to go. Second to arrive, second to go?
I'd understand if there was a pedestrian, or something preventing the vehicle from going... but c'mon - today I sat at the stop and refused to move as I was being waved at from behind tinted windows (which was hard for me to see and I couldn't quite tell).
Just because I'm on a major road, and you're on a side street, it doesn't mean I get the right of way. C'mon ladies - let's keep it moving will you? Stop waving at me - and just go please!
There - got it off my chest.
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u/FannyOfFanton 2d ago
THANK YOU!!! This drives me crazy! And yes it’s always women. And I say this as a woman myself.
I would rather other drivers be predictable than try to be courteous.
If you have the right of way, TAKE IT!
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u/astrorobb 2d ago
the lack of predictability is incredibly annoying
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u/FannyOfFanton 2d ago
That’s just it. When people do this, they are actually doing more harm than good.
I feel like half do it because they want to be ‘nice’ and the other half do it because they’re not confident drivers and are just damn terrified to actually be driving. So they want everyone else to go first so that the coast is clear for them to proceed 😒 If you are too scared to take your right of way, you should not be behind the wheel.
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u/Street_Mall9536 1d ago
It's like every time you see a crash from someone turning left out of a plaza, the person in the right lane has stopped short to wave them out, and then they get T boned by the person doing 60 in the left lane.
Everyone can stop doing that dumb maneuver as well.
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u/c0ry_trev0r Holly 2d ago
Waving someone else through when you have the right of way just wastes everybody’s time. In the time it took you to wait and do your courtesy wave you could’ve been gone and I’d already be moving. And everyone else in line would be another spot closer to freedom.
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u/Just1Justin1 1d ago
I think I’m gonna keep reposting this every month. To spread the word and the message. I just posted out of sheer frustration, but I see I’m not the only one.
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u/Just1Justin1 1d ago
I feel like I should post the dashcam video. But I don’t wanna do that to the poor woman who might see it. I think this thread is getting my message across.
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u/Carinne89 2d ago
At this point, I’m impressed you saw people stopping at four-way stop.
But just so you know, I made a post over a year ago on this sub Reddit complaining that nobody in Barrie knows how four-way stops work and the amount of comments I got from people who genuinely did not know how they work was deeply deeply, disappointing. The vast majority thought the person on the right always goes first no matter what, doesn’t matter who arrived when. Some of them didn’t understand why you wait for everybody to come to a full stop. Very scary.
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u/Captain_John_Black 4h ago
At this point, I’m impressed you saw people stopping at four-way stop.
Seriously, I want to know where this is. I don't know the last time I saw multiple cars all stopped at a four-way stop.
Hell, even at regular stop signs, I saw a guy drive straight through one and get t-boned coming off Peel onto Grove a few months ago. Felt bad for the dude that hit him, couldn't have seen him coming.
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u/mopeyy 2d ago
Similar thing with people leaving a gap so others can make a blind turn directly into incoming traffic.
Be predictable, not polite.
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u/FannyOfFanton 2d ago
Agreed. How anyone thinks that’s a smart thing to do is beyond me.
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u/bdart1980 Holly 1d ago
You can still be nice and leave a gap.. They have to slowly proceed and look both ways still.. it can be done safely as long as the person turning doesn't just blindly trust that you've deemed it safe for them...
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u/WallmartPussy 1d ago
What kind of gap are you talking about? I always leave a gap between me and the car in fromt of me out of habit and being safe.
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u/mopeyy 1d ago
I mean like when someone is trying to make a left hand turn out of a parking lot or something onto a busy road, and a driver on the road who has the right of way stops to make room and let them out. Not realizing that the car pulling out can't see shit and is gonna have to make a blind turn into a lane that is not expecting it.
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u/More-Explanation2788 1d ago
I pause long enough for any reasonable human to realize they have the right of way and take it. Then, if no one has moved, I go. I don’t have time for this nonsense. Take the right of way if it is yours.
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u/SamohtGnir 1d ago
I find the most common type of drivers are either the too aggressive or too passive. The people who keep pulling forward more and more on a red light drive me nuts, and the people who don't know when they have the right of way and are expected to use it are the same. No, it's not being polite, I'm waiting for you because you are suppose to go, so go!
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u/Brave-Engineer-2991 2d ago
Ok, but on the other end of the spectrum is the asshole that stops a car length or more away from the stop sign and thinks it’s still his right to go first!
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u/Tynford 2d ago
People feel the need to be nice. It’s nice. It’s great, even. But! If we’re sitting at a 4-way stop and they have the right of way, I don’t know they’re trying to be nice. The only way I know is if they start flashing their lights and waving and honking to let me through… and then it all takes longer than just following the usual rules.
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u/sports-fitness-life9 2d ago
Drives me nuts when people do this! Just go when it’s your turn to go ffs 🤦♀️
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u/missoctober12 1d ago
I am a woman and guilty of this lol but only if it was like a photo finish to the stop sign and I’m not certain who was there first, or if I straight up wasn’t watching closely at who arrived first which is often the case.
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u/Just1Justin1 1d ago
I mean, I guess that’s fair, somewhat. But you’re in a car, you should be paying attention. My only tip for you is look at the front wheels. If the wheels are still turning and you’re stopped. You should go. I appreciate the wave, but I’d appreciate it more if you just went.
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u/missoctober12 1d ago
I just give the other driver the benefit of the doubt sometimes buuut that’s a good tip on the wheels! Will check that next time.
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u/Ambitious_Counter818 1d ago
Absolutely…I see the same problem everyday everywhere and it gets frustrating sometimes when people don’t understand the basics of rules for driving. I have always thought everyone should have to do a written driving test when renewing their license.
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u/densbury37 2d ago
Absolutely! It literally just happened to me but I was the second car behind a truck at the sign. All 4 cars at the intersection refusing to go! I’ve never seen anything like it!
Also why do Barrie drivers take a one lane road and think it’s 2 lanes by driving as close to the curb as possible? Just drive in the lane!
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u/Conscious-Agency-138 2d ago
It’s like they’re afraid. I actually had an old lady stop in a friggin round about and try waving me in! Shouldn’t be driving.
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u/Ok-Boat4839 1d ago
No. It's not necessarily women who wave you through. In my experience it's men, but regardless of who it is FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TAKE TOUR TURN when it's yours. Why do you even think my eyes are looking inside your car to see you waving me through anyway. If you got there first, go, just GO. You people drive me nuts!
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u/Canuckleheaded1 1d ago
So everyone is in such a hurry you can’t wait a few extra seconds? I would rather give the right of way away than take it only to have some bozo that is in a hurry jump ahead and cause a collision. Luckily these days there are not too many 4 way stops in Barrie. Driving has become so risky lately as drivers do not always stop when required, or turn into the appropriate lane that using extra caution is warranted.
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u/Skelito Hometown 1d ago
Info: Was it a true 4 way stop ? What I mean by that is were all 4 traffic lights flashing red or was the main road lights flashing yellow ?
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u/Just1Justin1 1d ago
Neither. It was a 4 way stop sign. And she was sitting there when I was 15 ft from the intersection. I was thinking she is waiting for me to stop then she’ll go. I even look in another direction to indicate I’m waiting. 5 solid seconds went by and I could see the wave, but today I just stayed put and said, I’m gonna out wait you! Cmon, if my wheels are still turning and you’re sitting there, you need to go already. Da F you waiting for? Christmas is still months away!
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