My husband and I were trying to do NFP and it failed, so now I’m pregnant with my second before my first is even a year old.

I had such a bad time postpartum with my first. Such dark thoughts and depression. Feeling isolated and having really angry outbursts. My husband and I decided to try to postpone our next pregnancy for at least a few years and that brought me a lot of relief and I felt like I could pour more of my energy into my current baby.

A couple days ago I found out I was pregnant and I’m absolutely devastated. I’m so scared of going through postpartum with 2 under 2 and worried about what kind of mom and wife I will become. My thoughts have even gotten so dark that I’ve considered aborting even though I know it’s so evil and I would regret it for the rest of my life.

I just feel so stuck and scared. I’m beating myself up for not being even more careful regarding sex. I don’t know what to do and I’ve spent the past two days just crying nonstop.

I hated being pregnant and all the comments from relatives and people about my body and our timing with it. And people in our family have seriously let us down with helping out with the baby so mostly everything is falling to me and my husband when he’s not working. I feel like I’m going to break 😔

I can’t help but feel guilty even though I know it’s not my fault and can’t be helped. End of September my kindergartner brought home the most nasty virus. Not flu or covid (we went to the doctor and they swabbed him for everything), but they told us likely an adenovirus. It has circled through my household and we’re still not fully better. I’m pregnant and have been miserable with it. My oldest came down with it a few days ago and has been consistently coughing with a sore throat, insane congestion, and a fever. I can’t risk bringing them and getting our elder parishioners sick. Husband is sick too so it’s not like just one of us could go.

I’m just venting. I’m sick of being sick and miss church.

Hi sisters,

Thank you to everyone who prayed for me to find a job!

A few months ago, I found one in the city where I was hoping to stay, in an industry I didn’t know I would return to so soon, and with amazing people to work with.

It’s been very busy, but I praise God for this gift.

For anyone who is unemployed or searching for meaningful work, know that I’m praying for you and encouraging you not to give up. Every morning ask God for hope, strength, openness, and provision.

God bless and thank you all again. ❤️🙏🏼

Hi everyone, my husband and I live im the midwest in a massive Catholic area. We are looking to move further south to one of these states Missouri/Texas/Tennessee/Kentucky and I'm curious what towns in any of these areas have a strong Catholic community. We have one daughter and I want her to grow up surrounded in a faithful community. (Open to other states as well just have to be south of MN/WI)

Hi everyone! I wanted to share something that has been weighing on my heart lately.

I’m a Deaf mom, and my husband and I have been searching for a Catholic church that provides an American Sign Language (ASL) interpreter during Mass. We finally found one, but unfortunately, it’s quite far from our home.

What makes it even more frustrating is that the sign language interpreter hasn’t been consistently showing up for Mass. Because of this, I haven’t attended church in a few weeks.

I feel so discouraged because it seems incredibly difficult to find Catholic churches that offer ASL interpretation or make accommodations for Deaf people. Meanwhile, I’ve noticed that many non-denominational Protestant churches seem to offer more accessibility and support for the Deaf community.

It honestly hurts. My heart is with the Catholic Church, and I genuinely want to attend Mass, grow in my faith, and raise my child in the Catholic faith. But how am I supposed to feel included and spiritually connected when I can’t fully understand what’s being said during Mass?

I understand that not every parish has the resources to provide an interpreter, but Deaf Catholics deserve access to worship, Scripture, and community just as much as hearing Catholics do.

Sometimes I feel like the Deaf community is overlooked within the Catholic Church, and it makes me sad. I don’t want to leave the Catholic Church, but I wish there were more efforts to make Mass accessible.

I’m not posting this to criticize the Catholic faith. I’m sharing this because I love the Church and want to feel welcomed and included.

Are there any other Deaf Catholic women here, or anyone who has experienced something similar? Have you found a parish that provides consistent ASL interpretation? I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences or advice ❤️🙏

I am a 34-year-old cradle Catholic who has been actively dating in the hopes of finding a partner. The man I recently dated broke up with me, and I suspect it was because I had no intention of sleeping with him before marriage. We are both cradle Catholics, although we have differing opinions, with him being more politically conservative than I am.

Finding a Catholic partner has always been very important to me. Part of it stems from Catholic guilt, while another part comes from a desire to be aligned in our values. However, as I navigate the dating world, I am realizing that I need to spend more time deepening my understanding of my faith and reflecting on why Catholic values are important to me.

Are there any resources you would recommend to help me learn more about our faith and continue discerning marriage? Any other advice regarding faith and dating would also be welcome.

Personally, I don't think marriage is in the cards for me, given how these dates have been going, but I do know that I want to have children and a family, and that scares me.

I am in the process of looking for an elementary school for my kids. My husband and I aren’t able to homeschool and the public schools are a nightmare where we live. Unfortunately we can’t afford the local Catholic school either. So now we’re visiting other Christian (Protestant) schools. Does anyone have experience sending their children to a Protestant school? I’m worried about the teachings being different or in conflict with what we believe and teach, but I’m hoping it’s better than secular school options? Opinions and experiences appreciated!!

This is partly a vent but I really would appreciate some advice from Catholic women

So as context I was raised in an extremely strict traditional Catholic group. Modesty rules were from an old 1920s Marylike booklet. So no pants or shorts at all, skirts had to go BELOW the knee, no shoulders, necklines had to be 2 fingers below the collarbone, nothing at all tight or see-through. Examples of things I was told as a kid: wear your hair down to cover your neck, put on leggings (under your long skirt) because it just "looks like too much skin," take off that fairy dress-up because the sleeves are see-through (i was 4) and 'how dare you parade yourself in front of your uncle (!) in those swim clothes' (it was a rash shirt and long board shorts down to my knee). I was (obviously) very scrupulous as a kid and thought my body was inherently bad. Nothing about sex or how men work was explained to me at all, so there wasn't even a logical reason behind the rules that were enforced.

I'm 19 and my parents have now loosened up to let me wear pants, but only tracksuits and very loose jeans, usually with a long top over them. I see other practicing Catholic girls wearing shorts, one-pieces, shorter skirts, a bit of cleavage. And I would love to wear those things too. I don't know how those girls get away with it in their conscience, when mine screams "SIN, SCANDAL, IMMODEST." I always hated sticking out so much with my clothes as a kid. I look fairly normal now I wear pants, but there's still so much off limits. I get so frustrated going to the shops and every single cute item of clothing is immodest. Any time I see a beautiful dress like a ballgown or wedding dress, I think "I can never wear that" because it always shows cleavage or shoulders. I'm angry that other Catholic girls get to wear whatever they want. Why can't the Church be more clear about what is and isn't allowed?

My question is, when I eventually live on my own, what modesty guidelines should I follow? Without following those rules I was raised with, navigating modesty is very scary. I don't believe in those rules anymore, but I also believe modesty is important and it can be a mortal sin depending how badly you dress. The internet varies from "bikinis are fine" to "Mary would never wear jeans," and all the 'its just subjective and about your intention' is unhelpful, as is 'follow social norms' because it's currently normal to wear booty shorts and a bra-top to the grocery store. Does anyone have any actual guidelines? I live in a temperate climate and I'm kind of curvy. Yes I know "modest doesn't mean frumpy" but I just want to dress like everyone else (not bikinis or crop tops or booty shorts). And this is related to times when I don't have to follow my parents' rules.

Hi everyone! I am currently a senior in high school and I plan on attending a private “Catholic” college next year. It’s one of those schools where it’s not truly Catholic, it’s kinda just in the name. They have an LGBTQ club and those sorts of things. But I mean that’s to be expected anywhere unless you go to somewhere like Franciscan, Benedictine, etc. It definitely has a friendlier feel than public state universities that I toured and I believe it will be less detrimental to my faith. That’s just a little background, but the thing I’m worried about is marriage. I have never been in a relationship before. I have been asked out by 4 different guys, all within the course of junior and senior year. The first guy saw me at a dance,thought I was pretty, and texted me asking me to a dance. Unfortunately I did politely declined because I genuinely didn’t know him, texting was formal and awkward, and I was terrified of how awkward it would be if I went.The other three guys were from my school. One a classmate, and two friends. I could not possibly see myself ending up with any of them (very different personalities and abilities and lifestyles etc) so i politely declined. I’m just so scared that once I get to college 1. it will be very difficult to find an actually Catholic man. and 2. I don’t have any dating experience or experience with boys in general so that will make things way harder. I want to get married and be a mom and i’m just so worried that it will never happen for me and I always have this thought nagging at me. I know I’ll be fine financially and academically in college. I’m planning on studying neuroscience or biology and doing something medical. I’ve always been a good student so I know I’ll excel in that regard. But I just have this feeling that something is wrong with me. Probably part of that comes from being a bit of an introvert but idk. I feel like I would be a good gf/wife. I love taking care of people that I love and I yearn for that. Im so sorry for this rant, my mind is just a whirlwind right now. I would be so grateful for any advice or personal experiences or words of encouragement. thank you for taking the time to read and God bless!

Hi sisters, I posted earlier this year that I had just found out that we were pregnant with our rainbow baby after a very hard year where we lost our first baby girl at 28 weeks. Just wanted to come back and update you all and let you know that I’m now 22 weeks pregnant and so far everything is going beautifully. We had our anatomy scan and baby is perfectly healthy, growing great, and we found out we’re having a GIRL 🎀

I’d like to ask you to please continue to keep our family in your prayers, and pray for continued health for myself and our sweet baby girl! Later this month will be exactly one year since we lost our first baby so it has been hard. We have been saying the rosary every day this month and are almost done with a novena to St. Gerard. God has been so good to us and we are so grateful for the blessings he’s given us each day.

As a new Catholic I really love this community and all of the love and support, so just wanted to let you know the good news! Thanks to you all and God bless sisters, hope you have a wonderful day!

I really don’t understand the whole “leaving it up to God” how many children you have. Like you have a choice in it right? You can’t conceive a baby without doing the marital act. So how are you supposed to know when you’re done? It stresses me out because I’ve had a c section and I don’t want endless c sections. Right now the Marquette method (which due to my anxiety has really just been abstinence) has been what we’ve been doing. Just the concept of every cycle thinking what if we were meant to have a baby that cycle just because we wanted to be together is messing with my head. Like I get no child can happen without God wanting it to happen but like children can be avoided even if God wanted them there right? I’m just at a loss with this whole topic.

Hi everyone,

I just need some help trying to figure out how I should handle this situation I am facing.

A little background: I grew up with very toxic relatives. My parents gave me a good childhood, but there were family members on my dad’s side that were quite cruel to me growing up. My two aunts were extremely jealous and competitive – not just with each other, but with anyone who threatened to steal away my grandmother’s attention from them and their children.

I can remember understanding that I was disliked at a young age. I was always singled out and ridiculed for everything I did; they were always criticizing me about my weight (I was a dancer and quite fit at the time, but wasn’t “skinny” enough). I was also homeschooled, which they all took great offense to. They made my life miserable, which I think inhibited me for many years, even into adulthood. I only recently graduated with my bachelor’s degree at 33 years old, and I think the reason it took me so long, is because of all the self-doubt they implanted in my mind throughout the years. I’ve had so many false starts in life, because I never thought I would be good at anything. For instance, they often suggested that I should choose an easier course of study, because criminal justice (my major) was too hard for me. I was getting straight A’s, but when my father would tell them this, it’s like it was hard for them to believe.

Anyway, by my late twenties, I decided I wanted nothing more to do with them. My father respected this decision, and even chose to cut them off himself (his childhood was also filled with abuse). By this time, my grandmother had passed away, and so withdrawing from the family was easier to do.

I also married the most wonderful man, who (along with a therapist) has helped me realize my self-worth. This is the main reason I ended up returning to college to complete my degree.

Anyway, one of my aunts has recently been calling our house. She has a lot of mental health issues, and I am beginning to understand that much of her behavior is a result of her emotional problems and own insecurities. According to my sister (who is still in contact with her on occasion), she is hysterical all the time – she is lonely, depressed, and is desperate for family relations. She and my other aunt do not get along, and her children live out of town, so she really doesn’t have much contact with anyone.

A couple months ago, she wrote to me saying that she loves me, and that she just “didn’t understand what she had done to make me not want to talk to her.” Admittedly, I did not reply to this message, because I did not want to get into an argument with her. Honestly, I really think that she actually has no idea about how cruel she was to me growing up.

But today – which is the reason I decided to seek advice on here – I received a very expensive and thoughtful birthday present from her in the mail. It’s not like I can be bought through gifts – it’s not that at all – it’s just that she has now made several attempts at contacting me, and I just do not know what to do.

I do not feel like I have the energy to have a relationship with these people anymore. Their behavior never changes; the last time I tried to make amends with her, there was a period of normalcy, but that was soon followed by the usual toxic behavior. I do truly feel sorry for her; she has so many unresolved issues, and I cannot imagine what it must be like to be so alone all the time. She is consumed by her thoughts.

However, I do not feel like I can be the one to give her the emotional support she needs. I am currently navigating the last of my cancer treatment, and I just cannot bear anymore stress in my life than I already have.

I was thinking of sending a thank you note to her, but nothing beyond that. I don’t mean to sound callous or uncaring, but I have a strong need to protect myself AND my husband who will undoubtedly face the same ridicule at some point (they were all extremely cruel to my mother, and she was an absolute saint).

Anyway, I apologize for how long this is. I am just hoping to get some ideas on what I should do. My heart does hurt for her. But I just do not have the strength to go back and do it all again. While I’m starting to be able to forgive the family for what they did, I still don’t think that a relationship can be part of that forgiveness. Am I wrong to think that?

If you read this far, thank you for taking the time to do so 🙏

On the one hand, it kind of feels like we have the number of kids we can handle, but on the other hand, what if we’re supposed to have another baby?

I’m both afraid of missing something God has for us and also of blowing up our lives by adding another baby.

How do you know if you should try for another? I’d appreciate hearing how you think through this.

Does anyone have a Canadian Catholic online store that they would recommend? For Christmas, I’d like a high quality miraculous medal; my current one is made of cheap medal, it’s tarnished beyond repair and I wear it daily. I’d like to support a Catholic run store and I’d prefer it to be located in Canada to avoid any tariffs or high shipping costs. ☺️

I feel like this community always provides some good wisdom and balanced takes, so I wanted to ask, how do you find jobs that you feel you are being positive or at least neutral in the world? I understand that the world is complex and full of grey, and if you dig through enough degrees of separation, there will be something unethical there. I apologize for the length, I wanted to give background.

I wanted to be an engineer since I was little (28F now), and worked at a small robotics company right after school. After about 2.5 years there, I left for a volunteer service year corps program to spend a year serving while I didn’t have many obligations. I worked at a large homeless shelter, and despite the chaos and occasional violence, I fell in love with the work and the people I served and discovered a passion.

Right at the end of my service year, I got a job as a homeless/housing case worker at a charity that is Catholic, and after a year became the housing program coordinator managing a team of other case workers and supervising the day to day building up and operating a drop in center and collaboration with a neighboring soup kitchen. Side note - I’m currently engaged, and if I have children one day, they will never believe that their mom used to break up fights between large grown men!

I loved the work, but the nature of it is already disheartening with the tough times and cuts here in the US, and you spend a lot of time as a punching bag for people’s frustration and hurt. But the chances I had to help someone or at least walk with them as someone in their corner - I regularly said I had the best job in the world.

Things shifted - In addition to the classic more required busywork, new policies from senior leadership (who had never worked in a frontline role) made our jobs and rapport with clients harder, and a couple things I was uncomfortable with as I felt we wouldn’t be treating clients with as much dignity. I also took shielding my team from pointless burn-out policies really seriously, and I used to advocate with our leadership, try to propose alternative ideas, but that stopped working, I still don’t know why it shifted. Watching my team get burned out and sharing their frustration about it getting harder to serve our clients, I got incredibly burned out myself. Physical symptoms, constantly in survival mode, nightmares about meetings with senior leadership etc.

I took a leap of faith and put in a month’s notice to help with the transition while I looked for a job. I currently have a temporary position at an R&D robotics institute, and while it’s really hard to try to keep up after 3 years out of engineering, my adhd brain is loving the stimulation. I even can feel a tiny fraction of myself coming back outside of work when I felt an interest in reading about something, I can’t remember the last time that something felt interesting.

My dilemma is partly that I am a little angry at myself that I couldn’t find a way to stay. I’m maybe even a little angry at God that I got to be with some of the most despised and forgotten members of the my community in a job I was really good at, but I stopped being able to survive there. I don’t know what to do next.

I can try to get a regular position in the robotics world, and I understand that I may just not have the privilege of getting to directly help people as a job in this phase of life. Sometimes you just have to pay bills. But I worry about being put on a project that would have a military end use case, or something exploitative of others. I also can’t just hop between two wildly different careers every couple of years.
I’m still scared of a new social services job with how bad my position became, my nervous system is still wrecked. My only real job history is working in robotics or homeless social services.

How do I discern a balance between needing to pay my bills with a job that doesn’t lead to nervous breakdown, but also isn’t the antithesis of my passion for service?

Thank you for your patience with the long post and for any advice!

I recently learned that lust means a disordered view of sexuality. That, essentially it is a form of objectification of a person. I am coming from the protestant background where it was my understanding before that lust basically meant any sexual thought (it's not explained very well.)

Well, I don't really think I look for sexual pleasure in others and I certainly don't separate them from their personhood.. I'm very emotional, present, etc. What I have done though, is allow myself to be lusted after, and accepted sexual attention because I thought I needed to in order to be loved or valued.

Not to get too deep, but this kind of started early on in my life, because I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse. I think it was normalized to me. I grew up and allowed my sexuality to be useful in getting affection. To put it practically, if I wanted closeness, to feel desired or to cuddle, I'd be okay with having sexual acts happen, but ultimately my goal was never really the type of "sexual pleasure" that I think other people mean when they talk about sexual pleasure.

However some of it was definitely disordered, because in my worst moments, I didn't love the man at all, but just wanted to feel desired/thought it could maybe lead to love. In my most dark moments, I thought it would bring me a sense of control or power or "coolness" (this was in my teens). I don't mean control over the person, but control over my life/desirability/ability to attract and sustain attention.

Is this considered lust? I want to know how to really repent of all of this, knowing that as a result of all this, more than anything I really felt objectified. In this season, I also was sexually assaulted unfortunately, and the whole time is blurry and kind of hard to think about. I want to repent for what I am accountable for, but because there was so much pain it's hard to know where to start.

Thank God, I've been celibate for 5 years and am discerning catholicism right now.

Hi everyone,

Long story short, I lost my job yesterday. I won’t go too far into detail other than I was partially in the wrong in terms of my reaction to what this client did, but she was extremely disrespectful and out of line, so naturally, I’m angry that she successfully got me fired.

As a Catholic, I believe in forgiveness, I believe in turning the other cheek and “being the bigger person” so to speak, but I have reached a point in my life where I will no longer tolerate disrespect. I’ve been somewhat of a doormat for most of my life, and have grown tired of being treated like I’m stupid or less than because people see me as a sweet person.

I don’t know what to do. This wasn’t a long term career by any means, but I did care about the work and I was actually pretty darn good at it. I’ve been struggling to find work in my chosen field, so this is of course a further blow to the panic I feel about my future.

My question is, how have you ladies dealt with your anger in healthy and holy ways? I had a full blown meltdown yesterday that almost got me hospitalized, and this morning I awoke feeling more anger than sadness. I feel utterly disappointed not just in myself, but at my workplace and coworkers, who I believed to have created a bond with. All I want to do is scream and cry. I want to talk to God but I just feel angry and I don’t know what to make of what His plan could possibly be going forward. This past month has been terrible: I lost a family dog, my car basically set itself on fire, and now I’m unemployed. I’m fortunate enough to have family that will be able to financially support me as I search for my next job, but I feel an unbearable amount of guilt for taking up their time and resources. Simultaneously, I basically just want to spend all my time rotting in bed and sleeping away the pain.

Logically, I know I’m not special. People go through this all the time, and even more go through far worse. But I just really need support from people in the Catholic faith that know the internal battle of wanting to crash out but also knowing that that isn’t what He intended for us. If any of you have advice, it would be much appreciated. Bless you all.

I'm part of my church's prayer shawl ministry but I have a hard time keeping focus with both praying and crocheting at the same time. So I was wondering, is anyone else part of a prayer shawl ministry and if so how do you pray while stitching?

genuine question. i personally think no better time to represent Momento Mori, but my husband is on the fence. Not because of conviction, but he is worried about what OTHER parishioners would think. I'd like to say we are pretty devout. Not looking for arguments, just a genuine curiosity for what this group thinks? My husband is really only worried because we go to a small town church where many attendees are older, more conservative, etc.

My husband and I decided not to do the NIPT test with our first baby. We figured the result didn't matter, we would obviously keep our baby regardless of the outcome. The decision felt tied to our faith, in that we're open to life no matter what.

At the 12-week NT scan, our son was flagged for Downs syndrome (a soft marker). We waited 4 weeks to do another scan which showed he was fine. He was born healthy and has been ever since. Those 4 weeks of not knowing were a bit stressful.

Now we're expecting baby #2. My midwife suggested doing NIPT instead of the NT scan to avoid any potential soft-marker issues. It made me think...maybe its not the worst idea? But the NIPT also has a risk of false positives for the trisomies

Perhaps we should just do none of those tests at all and wait until the 20-weel anatomy scan? Feeling a bit conflicted! What's your take on the NIPT test?

I had a 95-year-old woman tell me to find a quote to anchor me in life.

At the time, I told her Proverbs 3:3 was my one (it’s a goodie).

St. Ignatius’ quote has become my current one. For me, it allows me to focus on being the Christ-figure I actually want to be ..and constantly motion my soul towards Him instead of the vices I’m prone to.

What do you all live by? Would love to hear your perspectives.

TW: loss

Went for my first ultrasound yesterday and was told they couldn’t see anything on my uterus. I am 5 weeks 4 days. My first hcg on 10/2 was 53 my second on 10/5 was 180. My doctor didn’t ask for any other testing until yesterday which showed 49.

Not sure what to do or say or how to react. I’m devastated. I’m assuming I lost my baby and now will be preparing for miscarriage. This is my first pregnancy and I could just use some support and prayers. Has anyone gone through something similar and had luck in the future? How can I stay faithful when the one thing I’ve prayed so hard for was taken away? We have struggled for over a year with fertility . Where do I go from here? I just feel so lost and heartbroken.

We had our first baby earlier this year and I’m just now realizing my husband has paternal PPD… he said he lost his faith. Has anyone dealt with this? Did your husband overcome it? What helped??? Any wisdom or encouragement or prayers are more than welcome and appreciated. We want to stay married and still love each other but this is hard.

With the faith part, we used to pray together and every night, weekly adoration, monthly confession, church marriage events, read the Bible… he slowly withdrew from it all besides going to mass together and every week.

Begging God to bring my husband back in general as this PPD is making him not himself. Basically he has habits that aren’t like him and his mannerisms are not like him either and other symptoms (don’t want to get into the weeds).

Thank you and God bless you

I got these little holy water containers off amazon and was trying to see whether I should use the bow or not. I’m gonna be spreading them around my house on all four corners. And just seeing I think the bows cute but also not sure it’ll hold up long term kinda thing.