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u/AdFar3818 5d ago
I assume the third panel is stuff coming out of the oven? Might need to be from an angle where you can see the pastries and/or heat source better cause it’s a bit hard to tell.
I can’t really tell what the fourth panel is for. I assume it’s rolled dough or dough folding or something, but regardless it feels really out of place both in terms of continuity (separated from the other dough panel by the oven panel) and physical placement (lowered into the scene rather than continuous with the earlier panels)
I can’t tell what the final panel is at all, and am generally having a hard time telling what the character’s expression is here (though that could be lack of context).
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u/Possible-Deer-311 6d ago edited 6d ago
Hard to tell what's going on and what things are. I think the lack of color isn't helping; B/W comics require a certain skillset to convey info without color. Maybe it's just context, but I think one big panel or splash page showing all the bread flying around would be better.
Remember continuity. One panel should flow into another. Random shots of different things can easily get confusing ("what am I looking at?"), and this is true here
I know context would help, but even knowingly looking without context, the page is still incoherent and has a lot of random stuff going on
Also, her raised eyebrow looks wrong. One shouldn't be that high, and the other should be furrowed, not in a neutral position. Right now it just looks like one of her eyebrows is floating. There should also be more expression on her face to better convey the emotion. Look up stock photos of one raised brow to see what I mean.
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u/RowHoustonLaine 5d ago
I think a panel showing the stovetop would help show that this is some sort of magical kitchen/bakery. It took me a hot second to think about what was going on.
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