Why didn't you say so?

[u/TheNectarineDiaries]

Best medical advice I ever got was to bring a man to your appointments

[u/Sea_Pitch121]

I got gaslit a few hours before GIVING BIRTH that my water hadn’t broke. When I type it out it sounds so unbelievable but I stg it actually happened TO ME.

Me: “when I stand up fluid gushes out”
Them: “yeah the test results show this fluid is amniotic but I’m not convinced there’s a big tear, you probably just moved wrong and it’ll fuse back up”
Me: “but I tested positive for group B and if it gets into the amniotic fluid that’s really bad right?”
Them: “yeah but idt your water broke even though this seismograph thing says you’re having regular contractions, you can probably just go home and if you DO go into labor then come back but you probably have a few more weeks. I don’t think your water broke.”
Husband: “I’m pretty sure her water broke, I have to use a towel on the floor after she stands up”
Them: “ok fine how about we get an ultrasound”

-on the 2 flight long walk to the ultrasound area-
Nurse: “why are you walking like that??”
Me (thinking) UM BECAUSE IVE GOT A BABY IN MY PELVIS????

-after the ultrasound-
Ultrasound tech: yeah you’re dilated, they made you WALK all the way down here??? Let me go get you a wheelchair!

I gave birth 12 hours later.

[u/snowwhite2591 → u/Sea_Pitch121]

“You aren’t in labor and we’re sending you home in 45 minutes” 32 minutes later I was dilated to 6 and they were breaking my water. The rude lady who was “sending me home” never reappeared

[u/Radiant_Risk_393 → u/snowwhite2591]

Why do they love to try to send us home? I think I appeared too calm and polite when admitted because the midwife made a lot of fuss about me being at hospital too early until my husband got her to check me. I was 5cm dilated and had a baby less than three hours later

[u/ilanallama85 → u/Radiant_Risk_393]

When my mom went into labor with my brother, her waters broke almost immediately so they hopped in the car and drove the 45 minutes to the hospital, by the time they arrived she was in active labor. She told them that, my dad told them that, they didn’t believe them on either count (waters breaking so early, being in active labor so soon) and we’re all “oh calm down, you’ve got plenty of time…” My mother said the nurse went white as a sheet when she finally took a peek. 9 cm dilated, baby was delivered less than 30 min later. Total labor time: 2 hours 15 minutes. She still gets angry about it if it comes up. He’s 37.

[u/HeckMonkey → u/ilanallama85]

She still gets angry about it if it comes up. He’s 37.

When I did neonatal classes, one of the things that stuck with me was learning that moms remember their birth stories (good or bad) decades later. Like it's seared into memory. As a guy I didn't really know that - my goal after that was to make sure my wife didn't have one of those nightmare stories no matter what. And she didn't! Her birth plan was "give me all the drugs" and that's what she got.

[u/stringthing87 → u/HeckMonkey]

The day I gave birth is absolutely the most memorable day of my life. I can remember everything. Not traumatic, even though things had unexpected twists, but just absolutely burned into my memory in a way no other day of my 39 years is.

[u/SoggyChalk → u/stringthing87]

My mom 35 years later cant hear a certain video game soundtrack without feeling physical pain because it was playing while she had contractions. (She was laying on the couch refusing to go to the hospital because her contractions weren't close enough together yet)

[u/cyanraichu → u/HeckMonkey]

Hell, one of the things that motivated me to go into L&D as a professional field is my mom's birth story with me, which was very traumatic and poorly handled. I've talked to her about it a lot and it kinda blows my mind.

[u/ohno_not_another_one → u/ilanallama85]

My labor was pretty quick with my first, 5 hours from first contraction to baby in my arms.

I had to be induced for my second, and I warned the doc the first was a fast birth. Pitocin can slow things down, but subsequent births tend to progress faster than previous ones, so I figured those would balance each other out and we'd be looking at about 5 hours or so again.

The (female, btw) doctor looked at me sort of pityingly and said she though that my first delivery being only 5 hours was probably just a fluke, and this one would take much longer. I wouldn't be giving birth until "tomorrow", she insisted.

Baby #2 was here in 6 hours from the first dose of pitocin. The nurse was getting ready to put in my catheter after my epidural and felt the baby's head instead. She rushed out to get the doctor and delivery nurses. The doc couldn't hide her surprise at how fast I progressed, and it took every ounce of self restraint I had not to "I told you so" her in the smuggest way.

[u/Akkebi → u/ohno_not_another_one]

From first contraction to me in my mom's arms: 45 minutes

But I was a third child.

[u/cyanraichu → u/Akkebi]

That's the dream (assuming you are close enough to where you want to deliver)!

[u/Akkebi → u/cyanraichu]

My oldest sibling was 12 hours. But according to my mom it was "minor and chill" until about 2 hours before she was born. So basically only a couple hours of what most people consider labor.

[u/snowwhite2591 → u/Akkebi]

Me 2 hours from contraction to moms arms my younger brother 27 hours she’s like I was lied to with your birth, my sister was 4 hours.

[u/Geronimoski → u/ohno_not_another_one]

Oh, the way I would've been like, "Wow, is it tomorrow already? Time flies!" You're kinder than me

[u/CraftyKuko → u/ohno_not_another_one]

I think more women should call doctors out on their bullshit. They need to do better.

[u/snowwhite2591 → u/CraftyKuko]

“I’d like you to note in my chart why you are refusing the tests I asked for” got me diagnosed with multiple sclerosis because I refused to accept it was just anxiety.

[u/124456u → u/ilanallama85]

With my youngest, who's now a mother herself, I woke up hearing a loud 'pop', and my waters flooding our bed.Then 2 minutes later had a really bad contraction. Went straight to the hospital, they told me that I still had hours left, but the contractions carried on in short intervals. Then it was like every 2 minutes, I'd had NO pain relief and I felt the overwhelming urge to push. I was told that there was ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that I was ready to give birth yet, and to 'control myself'. Still no pain relief. This went on for another 20 minutes, before I was screaming for them to check me,which they finally did, with a few eye rolls. Still no pain relief either. On being checked the midwifes face changed, she said that I was infact fully dilated and to push at will. 2 pushes and my daughter was out, and I was screaming in pain. My entire labour lasted an hour and 45 minutes, start to finish, I was only in hospital 30 minutes before I gave birth. I still get angry when I think about how much I was ignored and truly believe that I could have delivered much sooner, had I been checked earlier. And I tore too. Inside and outside. All without pain relief.

[u/MissCyanide99 → u/ilanallama85]

My mom's total labor time was about the same, but they believed her. I'm sorry things didn't go the same for you.