This could be us, but

[u/vesmir_neasi]

I don’t need much. I want eat sweets without getting fat, I want to feel wanted and I want equal rights. Is it much to ask?

[u/ptheresadactyl]

My ex husband refused to go down on me. We were together 13 years.

I was expected to blow him, though, and he would delay gratification and take forever to get off. One time, he quoted the exact number of days since I had last performed oral on him....

....While I was waiting on a consult with a jaw surgeon, because my jaw dislocated every time I chewed anything. I literally had to hold my jaw in the socket to eat.

[u/United_Fan_6476 → u/ptheresadactyl]

That's aberrant. Believe it or not, more men than women have positive attitudes toward cunnilingus. Many studies have upheld this. That's one fact I can't wrap my head around. One theory is that it places some kind of weird reciprocal pressure on women to perform oral sex if they receive it.

Which again, I just cannot fathom. I think anyone who doesn't want to be nose deep in a wet pussy or have their lips wrapped around a hard cock is pathetic and repressed. They are missing out on so much! Sex isn't a performance or a duty. It's an experience. People who don't get that are just so incredibly lame.

[u/kittiphile → u/United_Fan_6476]

For me it's that most men give really really bad head. They're doing it cause they have to, not because they really want to get in there and devour their partner, sending their brain to the moon and turning their legs to jelly. And bad head is worse than no head. Most women give great head, and some men do. I think it come down to "do you want to rock your partners world, and are you willing to put the work in to learn how her body works or is this out of obligation/expected return and not actually about them?". The former category are great, the latter are....less great.

[u/Papa_Bearto2 → u/kittiphile]

I once heard an argument between my then girlfriend and one of my male cousins about what she enjoyed when receiving. He was trying to tell her what she liked, didn’t like, wanted, didn’t want, etc.

He was telling her.

And he wasn’t ashamed about it at all. He wasn’t even considering he was incorrect about anything. When she disagreed about something he said, he just brushed it off and doubled down.

She ended the argument by looking at me and saying something like “thank you for listening to me in bed, it makes things better.”

[u/kittiphile → u/Papa_Bearto2]

I will add to her thanks. Who wouldn't want earth moving sex? Or that intimate slow sex that doesn't move the earth but it bonds your souls? I'd feel bad for selfish lovers, but then I remember that I (and so many other people) took the time, continue to take the time, to enjoy our partner. Like.....that's literally the person you chose, why wouldn't you want them to have fun? And why in the name of fuck would you blame them for not cumming when you have done nothing to rev their engine? Sorry Stephen, I don't go from dry to dripping just from a rough fingering, an attempt at locating my clit (even with directions and being put there, you wandered off) and you pressing your lad against my leg/butt/groin like a poorly trained, horny dog. Especially if you woke me up for this shit. God help your poor wife, she's definitely diy-ing her way to nirvana, cause there's no universe where your dumbass figured out how to turn a woman on.

I think it boils down to male orgasm = potential baby, female orgasm = a fun bonus, but not required for a baby. The biological drive to spread seed overtakes the basic deceny drive to pleasure your partner. The sex is over when the sperm haver splooges. And also selfish people only ever want their pleasure, everyone else is an npc.