Airport Security (OC)

[u/aostlund27]

[u/ignoremeplsokthank]

Did he really or was he just drugged out and said random bs? 

[u/Ragnarok314159 → u/ignoremeplsokthank]

No, he is a cop at the grenade store.

[u/RaizePOE → u/Ragnarok314159]

"grenade cop" definitely sounds like one of those professions you're convinced you're gonna work as when you're like 4

[u/Bitter-Value-1872 → u/RaizePOE]

I'm imagining a cop on a battlefield with a radar gun, writing tickets to people that throw their grenades too slowly

[u/VTcamperguy → u/Bitter-Value-1872]

“People who throw their grenades too slowly” seems like a problem that would take care of itself.

[u/Bitter-Value-1872 → u/VTcamperguy]

In those events, the ticket goes to the Commanding Officer

[u/thecraftybear → u/Bitter-Value-1872]

What if the commanding officer was fragged the previous night?

[u/NeedToThinkWitty → u/thecraftybear]

You just keep passing it up the chain until you get to someone that isn't filled with shrapnel that can pay the fine.

[u/BreadNoCircuses → u/Bitter-Value-1872]

The Iraqi military used to (maybe still does?) buy a "bomb detecting device" to the tune of several thousand dollars per. Every checkpoint during the Iraq war had a soldier with one of these devices. So it was kind of a real thing?

[u/nitid_name → u/RaizePOE]

He sounds like he'd be Axe Cop 's rival. Used to be Dinosaur Soldier's partner, back before the whole dinosaur blood incident when he was still flute cop.

[u/Xerorei → u/nitid_name]

Axe Cop vs Samurai Cop!

[u/LostN3ko → u/RaizePOE]

That sounds like some made up for TV job title.

What do you do?

I am a psychic detective 🧐

[u/Guszy → u/LostN3ko]

And this is my partner, Gus T.T. Showbiz. The extra T is for Talent.

[u/WeirdThingsToEnsue → u/RaizePOE]

Sounds like a schlocky 90s action flick staring Arnold Schwarzenegger

[u/RShini → u/WeirdThingsToEnsue]

Nah, that's Chuck Norris or Steven Seagal-tier schlock

[u/Linvael → u/RaizePOE]

Being a grenade cop can lose you a job actually - like the now ex chief of police in Poland that blew up his office with a grenade launcher

[u/Mannafestation → u/RaizePOE]

This summer coming to a theater near you, Buff McHugearm is, Grenade Cop.

Helpless Villager: "Will there be any way to save my village from this giant boulder that is blocking the road you would need some kind of explosive to save us, it's impossible!"

Buff: "Hold my pin."

[u/phantomreader42 → u/RaizePOE]

Sounds like an extra on Axe Cop

[u/RottenCod → u/RaizePOE]

This is so close to Axe Cop I’m surprised it’s not already been mentioned! (5 year old kid writes the whole thing and his much older brother brought it to life in web comic form)

[u/GlockAF → u/RaizePOE]

Like being a Karma Farmer. Oh wait…

[u/DanSapSan → u/Ragnarok314159]

Why are you shopping for cops at the grenade store?

[u/Zenvarix → u/DanSapSan]

Because they were out of clothed at the soup store, of course!

[u/iAmUnintelligible → u/Zenvarix]

no soup for you!

[u/whot3v3r → u/ignoremeplsokthank]

He did, but he was French and was talking about the fruit (Pomegranate)

[u/The_Pastmaster → u/whot3v3r]

Grenade apples.

[u/metaltankmx → u/whot3v3r]

In spanish, they're "granadas" too.

[u/Moikle → u/whot3v3r]

Grenades are named after pomegranates because early ones looked like the fruit

[u/No_Introduction_4849 → u/whot3v3r]

Was gonna say hospital but now I'm sure he was disclosing fruits and seeds at an airport. Wild misunderstanding.

[u/King_James_77 → u/ignoremeplsokthank]

He had a live grenade on him. Shit could’ve went bad really quickly.