Some of my recent New Yorker rejects [OC]

[u/Casual_Deviant]

[u/UserMcUserson]

These are all brilliant except I didnt get #6. I think I'm missing the joke. He doesn't know what fire is? Is it a nod to the orange pedophile president being in hell?

Edit: ok, Cavemen before discovering fire! This makes so much sense now. Thanks all. I can safely say these are all brilliant including #6.

[u/Mr_Yibble → u/UserMcUserson]

It's cavepeople who hadn't discovered fire

[u/Bituulzman → u/Mr_Yibble]

Ooooooohhhhhh!!!!!

[u/M002 → u/Mr_Yibble]

For a moment I thought it was terminally online people who never touched grass or saw fire before

But caveman makes more sense

[u/FocusFlukeGyro → u/Mr_Yibble]

Ok, that's fine. But we also hadn't invented Hell, so...

[u/PhiladelphiaIrish → u/FocusFlukeGyro]

We didn’t even invent the color orange until the 1500s

[u/hoopstick → u/PhiladelphiaIrish]

Do you have any fresh-squeezed Red Yellow Juice?

[u/kelsiersghost → u/FocusFlukeGyro]

Doesn't matter. They were non-believers.

[u/ZandrickEllison → u/Mr_Yibble]

Which logically doesn’t track. Cavemen had surely been exposed to the concept of fire. It took time for them to control fire.

[u/2ChicksAtTheSameTime → u/ZandrickEllison]

You have an issue with the cavemen but make no mention of the talking bagels and talking hay?

[u/yournamehere10bucks → u/2ChicksAtTheSameTime]

You aparently havent let food out long enough that it gains sentience.

[u/cantadmittoposting → u/2ChicksAtTheSameTime]

Two muffins are in an oven.

After a little while, one muffin says "hey it's getting hot in here isn't it?"

and the other muffin responds "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

[u/Aliendood → u/ZandrickEllison]

The use of fire predates anatomically modern humans if not necessarily control of fire

[u/SUDDENLY_VIRGIN → u/ZandrickEllison]

Is fire a naturally occurring phenomenon in every part of the world for every caveman who died at 14 years old?

[u/ZandrickEllison → u/SUDDENLY_VIRGIN]

Is a fire a naturally occurring phenomenon in every part of the world for every caveman? Yes probably.

Even the ones who died at 14…???!! Random. But again, yeah probably. And this caveman doesn’t look 14 does he?

[u/SUDDENLY_VIRGIN → u/ZandrickEllison]

Don't become an educator

[u/i-dont-speel-no-good → u/ZandrickEllison]

snorts

boy howdy I hope somebody was fired for THIS blunder

[u/justsomeonesmeme → u/UserMcUserson]

They are cavemen from before we discovered fire and Christian beliefs weren't around but the joke is pointing out that Christians believe that anyone who doesnt accept Christ as their savior goes to hell (the pit of fire) and they also don't know what fire is yet

[u/Bao-Babe → u/UserMcUserson]

They're neanderthals who died before fire was discovered.

[u/Rowl8 → u/UserMcUserson]

They are cave people before the discovery of the fire

[u/CaligulasPeri → u/UserMcUserson]

Theyre cavemen

[u/EstablishmentNext898 → u/UserMcUserson]

I think it's early humans (cavemen in the comic) that haven't discovered fire yet

[u/uglyheadink → u/UserMcUserson]

I am stumped on the very last one, but they are all so good haha.

[u/UserMcUserson → u/uglyheadink]

Jesus came up with the immaculate conception, that he is God's baby, instead of facing the fact his parents had sex.

[u/Allaplgy → u/UserMcUserson]

I know it's all made up and whatnot, but "immaculate conception" refers to the conception of Mary, not Jesus. Mary's conception was "immaculate" in that she was conceived without "original sin" and therefore worthy of carrying Jesus.

It's definitely all kinda weird.

[u/UserMcUserson → u/Allaplgy]

This whole time I had it wrong... that's it, I'm no longer devoting myself to Christianity.

[u/bouquetofashes → u/Allaplgy]

That's true but... And I could very well be wrong about this because I'm not religious, but isn't Jesus also supposed to have been conceived of a virgin Mary? So like it does still work, imo, as a joke.

[u/Allaplgy → u/bouquetofashes]

Yes, he was supposey conceived without Mary having sex.

[u/uglyheadink → u/UserMcUserson]

Oh goodness, thank you! That is super funny haha.