I do my best to be mindful and supportive. My Autism, however, thinks names aren't a priority when you can remember faces & stories. So learning a name the first time is an arduous task of having to train myself to say, "Their name is Matt... Their name is Matt..."
If you decide to change your name for whatever reason, awesome! I support you in strengthening your identity! But I ask for time to re-learn your new name. I'm sorry in advance if I deadname or use the wrong pronoun, and I will try to do better. But I just ask for kindness as you correct me. Help me to learn the new you with the same patience the old you extended the first time you met me, please.
So long as you are putting effort into doing so, few people are going to be upset with you. The problem is always people who entirely reject the concept and insist on deadnames as some kind of political or moral statement.
Yeah, I have this tendency to not refer to people by name when talking to them, and just go with "you". Thankfully, it's the only second person pronoun in English.
Yes. Just once. That's why I tell my tale, the good intentions, and the "simple" challenges I have trying to be an ally. I'll still be an ally, and continue to try my best. But when everyone is angry about something, it's too easy to confuse friend with foe.
That's been a factor in my recent mental health struggles. And all I'm asking for is a little compassion when someone apologizes after misspeaking. Sounds simple until you see the world around me.
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u/jhill515 20d ago
I do my best to be mindful and supportive. My Autism, however, thinks names aren't a priority when you can remember faces & stories. So learning a name the first time is an arduous task of having to train myself to say, "Their name is Matt... Their name is Matt..."
If you decide to change your name for whatever reason, awesome! I support you in strengthening your identity! But I ask for time to re-learn your new name. I'm sorry in advance if I deadname or use the wrong pronoun, and I will try to do better. But I just ask for kindness as you correct me. Help me to learn the new you with the same patience the old you extended the first time you met me, please.