A huge thing is also doing it regardless of if they are an attractive woman or not. If someone is struggling with their luggage, you ask if they need help, if an elderly person needs a place to sit you offer it to them. If you only offer help to woman you find attractive they will rightly so assume you are hitting on them. Especially if they don’t really need the help.
If you only offer help to woman you find attractive they will rightly so assume you are hitting on them.
The problem with that is that the woman wasn't around when you did or didn't give up your seat to the old woman. Effectively, they just have to assume one way or another. And, as a guy, you're stuck in a situation where you're like "If I help this attractive woman, she may assume I'm only doing it because I'm flirting, but she also didn't see me help the old lady". The whole thing becomes a clusterfuck of trying to guess what the other person is thinking or has done in the past. You might even avoid helping the attractive woman simply because you don't want assumptions made or are busy trying to guess what she's guessing about you.
I have actually been in that situation, where i help the old lady, but avoid helping the attractive lady, because of what she might assume, but I would also like to flirt with her too, because opportunities to meet attractive women are few and far between, but don't want to seem like I'm only helpful to attractive women. Then I totally miss out on my chance to meet her. So, fuck me and my chronic singleness.
I mean yeah i can totally relate to that. Had experienced those things too.
A few things. In general people are damn perceptive even if they don’t realise it themself sometimes. So even if a lot of people think they are treating someone they wanne flirt with the same they are not and the person notices that. Finding someone creepy often just means you have subconsciously noticed something you can’t put your finger on. What i wann say out of my own experiences just don’t put flirting as the priority here.
When it comes to meeting people:
In public spaces; if you want to flirt with someone just ask them open questions. Do it without expectation. If they want to talk you will notice if they don’t, give them the out and leave it at that. Again, not even with the goal to flirt in mind. Can be a usefull skill regardless, the last two times i got stranded (because train) somewhere i just statred talking with people and two girls once and an older couple the other time decided to take me with them in their car.
And then, if you get along you ask them hey it was nice talking, if they want to meet again sometime.
But aside from that I don’t know how much time you have but if you truly want to meet people you have to work for it, there is always events in every city for just meeting people and all the same rules apply there. Just that others go there with the intent of meeting someone new too.
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u/DryEstablishment545 6d ago
A huge thing is also doing it regardless of if they are an attractive woman or not. If someone is struggling with their luggage, you ask if they need help, if an elderly person needs a place to sit you offer it to them. If you only offer help to woman you find attractive they will rightly so assume you are hitting on them. Especially if they don’t really need the help.