r/comics • u/SirBeeves SeraBeeves • 6d ago
OC This has happened twice now I am deeply confused.
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u/Wemo_ffw 6d ago
As a dude, whenever I’m at the gym I literally interact with no one unless I have to. In fact I wear my headphones and stare at the ground in between sets.
I have “saved” some folks in the past from overzealous benching but I very rarely speak to anyone
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u/ikeif 6d ago
When I was single, I had some female friends tell me “I need to approach women at the gym, the bar, the grocery store.”
I had to remind them every time they told me “about some creep that approached them at the gym, the bar, the store,” and that their experiences contradicted their advice.
I much prefer to just “be there” and do my thing, not trying to see “who is single that I can mingle with.”
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u/Wemo_ffw 6d ago
Agreed. I met a girlfriend at the gym years ago but she approached me about a water bottle I’d left at a machine which led to a conversation.
Going to the gym specifically for meeting women is utterly delusional.
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u/KingAggressive1498 6d ago
i miss when the local gym was 24hrs
I'd go in at 1am. The powerlifter who needed half the plates they had was the only other guy there. Sometimes there'd be a middle aged nurse, still in her scrubs, on one of the treadmills. It was quiet and peaceful aside for the clanging of plates and the occasional bad song over the radio and I never had to wait for anything.
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u/wesborland1234 6d ago
You can see it before it happens too. Ive definitely seen some people load a bar and keep one eye on them like “this guys gonna kill himself”
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u/dont_tread_on_M 6d ago
Same. It's my time by myself and I also don't want to be talked to
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 6d ago edited 6d ago
Real talk? Likely a dude trying to flirt and being kinda awkward about it.
No better way to strike up a conversation or get you to remember them at the gym I bet is their reasoning
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u/ShadowTheChangeling 6d ago
Really the only other possible reason than anything unsavory tbh
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u/JR-90 6d ago
I once saw a woman struggling to remove all the weights off a leg press machine that some asshole left on, so I quickly went there to help her remove them all, it was like 150kg in plates. Today, that woman is my girlfriend.
She also was already my girlfriend when that happened.
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 6d ago edited 6d ago
Yeah. Cause she's there to work out. They know that. But they wanna help and feel like they have a chance. So the only real option is to ask to help lift a weight for her, not knowing it's having the opposite of the intended effect
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u/OddOllin 6d ago
Right, because it's kinda weird to "ask" but not wait to hear them confirm they actually want your help at all.
And putting a weight on for someone who is already lifting weights for recreational exercise at a gym is like... Interrupting someone as they're about to choose a golf club out of their bag to swing with? Then asking if they'd like help choosing a club, and picking a club for them without waiting for an answer.
And you're on a member's only course, lol.
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u/WannaBeSuiko 6d ago
This has actually happened to me though… someone came up to me and “helped” me choose a golf club out of my bag, gave me pointers etc.
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 6d ago
Hey I'm not denying dudes being awkward as fuck
But I know enough as to why he's likely doing what he's doing
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u/OddOllin 6d ago edited 6d ago
Oh yeah, I completely agree with your take. It's very likely just an incredibly awkward attempt at "polite" flirting. I was just processing exactly how intensely awkward that was. 💀
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u/Horskr 6d ago
I feel like "need a spotter?" would be way more normal to start lol. I've asked and been asked by random people at the gym that (guy), never had anyone put a weight on the bar for me though 🤣
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u/Alert-Ad9197 6d ago
I think this must be some misguided social programming. Like the guy saw a woman lifting something and “helped” before considering the location.
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u/08milk 6d ago
As a lady with back problems, this grinds my gears. Wait for me to confirm or deny if i need help. Most of the time I DONT and youre just bothering me. If i do need help, i would have asked for it. If for whatever reason ive already lifted and started moving with the item, and realize i need help, I'll need to put it back down and readjust/recenter with help.
But when you come up and just take heavy shit out of my hand, youre messing with my balance and messing with my back. This shit irks me to no end.
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u/monkwrenv2 6d ago
So, real answer - meet them through hobbies. If you see a woman at the gym regularly, make occasional small talk. Ask if she needs help but wait for the answer and respect it (unlike in the comic). If you're into gaming, go to a local game store and ask for an appropriate gaming group to join (DnD group, Magic, Warhammer, board games, whatever). Join a book club. Make friends with women - treat them like real human beings with interests and desires and autonomy. And when you do make friends, don't assume it'll lead to a relationship - use the friends to meet their friends. That's how I met my wife. My roommate took me to his coworker's party, and that coworker's friend was there, and started talking with that friend of my roommate's coworker and exchanged contact info and then flirted online for a few months before I finally asked her out.
Also, you absolutely can ask women out at random places, just accept rejection gracefully. Most guys don't, and that's what creates these problems.
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u/R0gue_H3r0 6d ago
This is basically the advice I would give to high school me forever ago. I've switched locations, environments and countries so many times and each time this remains the surefire way of making friends and meeting people. The biggest thing is you've got to be genuine, your going to an event for YOU to have fun, not as some kind of secret lifehack to meeting women.
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u/Telvin3d 6d ago
Yeah. Cause she's there to work out. They know that.
The flip side is that we all spend 90% of our lives at some sort of place to do some sort of thing. If we didn’t make space to socialize a bit even in those contexts, nobody would ever get to know anybody. Not saying this particular gentleman picked a particularly well timed moment or approach
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u/Aisenth 6d ago
Way #9272 why capitalism fucks over all of us: killing off third spaces. So all that's left is "if you're not here to produce or consume, gtfo."
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u/complexevil 6d ago
I've never done this, but I have certainly done weird things in the name of "helping people" simply because I was moving on autopilot
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u/jzillacon 6d ago
I feel like it'd be easier and less awkward to offer if they wanted spotter instead. You're still being nice, but in a way that shows you understand the person you're talking to knows what they're doing.
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u/yuvi3000 Comic Crossover 6d ago
I don't think it was intended to be anything but helpful, but I saw this correctly at the gym recently where person 1 said "Hey, do you need a spotter?" and person 2 said "No, thanks. I think I'm okay." Person 1 says "No problem. I'll be doing this other exercise here. Let me know when you need a spotter." After a few minutes, person 2 says "Would you still be able to spot me now?" and then person 1 said "Sure" and went over to help.
Seemed respectful and helpful without either side feeling lower or insulted.
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u/BlatantConservative 6d ago
Spotter is a bit too much crotch to forehead action for a first meeting
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u/Mat_alThor 6d ago
Or putting weight on the other side. Guy in the cartoon makes it seem like she can't do it on her own, helping her load the other side shows their just helping cut down the time.
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 6d ago
I feel like it'd be easier and less awkward to offer if they wanted spotter instead
Oh for sure but I don't think that critical thinking is in the wheel house at the moment. Blood is likely in two other locations
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u/S0LO_Bot 6d ago
The heart and the… little guy
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 6d ago
I was thinking muscles and nuts but that's just me
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u/crownjewel82 6d ago
Honestly, It comes across the same way as holding the door open but making someone duck under your arm: weird and kind of disconcerting. Asking if we need a spot is a much better opening.
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u/Myndsync 6d ago
Ya. A lot of guys think that if they can prove their value, it will give them a better chance with a woman. How they prove that value is varied as the individuals themselves.
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u/Jhtpo 6d ago
Agreed. "I want to interact with them, but not come out overtly interested. ... Oh, she didn't seem interested back, I'll go away now..."
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 6d ago
Now if it's the SAME dude that did it twice then he needs to take a hint
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u/Ergand 6d ago
Thought process probably went:
Cute girl, not busy, nobody nearby to laugh if I mess up, it's a perfect opportunity to talk to her!
No time to think, the chance will be gone once she starts her set. I'll walk up and offer to help.
She didn't respond warmly, that's my sign to leave.
Approaching and flirting is something that takes practice to get good at, and a lot of people will wait for those opportunities where everything aligns to even try. I know because I'm the same way, and could easily see myself being the guy in the post if I went to the gym.
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u/Wearytaco 6d ago
I second this. Especially because the cliche joke is gym bros not knowing how to talk to women. If you watch any gym shorts/reels/tiktoks about 7/10 jokes will be about a guy at the gym freezing because a woman talked to him, him saying he finally talked to a woman and it was something like "yeah I'm finished with my set" , or whatever. So imma say this is mans attempt at flirting and he probably went home kicking his legs thinking "I finally talked to her!"
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u/Ayoken007 6d ago
Didn't even offer to spot though, which rips through the whole pretext. If the weight is supposedly to heavy to lift on to the bar, it would make sense that she would need a spotter. He just grabbed the weight without confirming and left. Likely why she's confused. It's probably better to try chatting in between sets.
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u/Choice-Spinach145 6d ago
This might be my autism showing but I think we’d all be much better off if we could normalize just walking up to someone and saying, “hey I think you’re cute and want to know you better, you wanna talk some time.”
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u/psumack 6d ago
That's an absolutely terrifying thing to say to another person if you're normal.
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u/_StarPuff_ 6d ago
Yeah....I'm an autistic woman, and NO THANKS. It would be a bit different if I was already very familiar with the man, but a stranger being that forward and putting me on the spot like that is just probably going to cause a shutdown.
I would feel a lot of pressure from someone I don't even know. Like sir, why are you expecting me to go out of my way to talk to you when I have no idea who you are and know nothing about you?
Maybe that's just a me problem though.
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u/TyWorth 6d ago
That’s interesting, I’d be the total opposite. If someone just came by and laid it all out for once I’d be ecstatic. I can either politely decline, or accept, and the air is cleared. Just goes to show that if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.
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u/TyWorth 6d ago
As another autistic person, lord do I wish this was normal. Why do we have to be coy about everything?
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u/PixelatedGiant 6d ago edited 6d ago
In this specific context it's going to always be a problem. Woman need to always be on guard because of how they've been treated by a not insignificant number of men in the past.
So as a counter-balance other men try to ask in a way that gives them a safe exit. Part of that involves trying to avoid coming on too strong. Which you are doing by telling her how you feel and also saying you're going to possibly follow up at a later date.
You ask them out by saying something like "Do you want to get coffee on Thursday?" and if they say "no" the correct response is "OK bye" and just end the conversation. Do not respond by hinting that you want to try again in the future hoping she will change her mind. If the day you selected doesn't work it's up to her to offer a better day and reschedule. Don't try to guess when they are free, take it as a "no".
tl;dr if a woman says no to an invite without offering any alternative arrangements you end the conversation.
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u/captainAwesomePants 6d ago
That is a very good explanation of why that's awkward, thanks. I knew it was awkward but I would have had trouble explaining why. "You have to provide them a safe exit" is going into my explaining things bucket.
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u/HMHellfireBrB 6d ago
from experience, and also being around people who have done this, this is the fastest way to speedrun trouble
genuinelly, i wish life was easy as this, but seriusly this is an instant "go to creep jail" card
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u/SirYeetsA 6d ago edited 6d ago
I'm gonna disagree with most of the comments here.
When I was in high school and a guy climbed a tree, nobody cared. But when I climbed a tree (girl), a bunch a guys (and a few girls) came over and made sure I was alright and knew what I was doing.
When we were building the set for one of my high school plays, whenever I picked up a drill or hammer to help, a guy would come over and say "no, I've got it," before taking the tool and proceeding to do my job. Every. Single. Time.
In Show Choir, everybody chipped in to help set up and tear down the risers, and since it was 66-75% girls in the show choir, nobody batted an eye at us helping since doing so would make set up/tear down take literally three times as long. But Jazz Band? The one time we had to set up the risers for ourselves, everybody looked at me like I was insane for helping, and the boys proceeded to take the risers out of my hands and do it themselves.
Unless he's doing anything else to indicate he's trying to flirt/hit on you, it's likely just a guy trying to be "chivalrous" by thinking moving and setting up heavy things isn't something a girl should be doing. It's just goofy as hell to do that shit in a gym, since lifting heavy things is… why you're there.
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u/Turbulent_Host784 6d ago
It might not even be a conscious decision. I worked at a Target for a bit and there was an older lady who would come back to get a water bottle every day for her lunch. Problem is she was tiny and her water was on the top shelf so she had to climb for it. First time I saw her do it I was just like "haha wtf are you doing," walked over and grabbed the bottle for her. She thanked me but when I told her to just ask me for help since I was always on the water wall anyway she said no she likes to do stuff herself to keep some independence. I took that on its face and just let her do her thing (while making sure she wasn't in danger obviously, and sometimes grabbing it for her to be cheeky) but as I chewed on the idea I realized I did that shit a lot. Just help someone I see who could possibly use it as I'm strolling past without asking if they wanted it. It came from a good place but I realized a lot of people probably don't want that help so straight-forwardly.
Since then I've made a point to ask "do you want help/a hand" to anyone I see struggling. Sometimes I'll still straighten someones shit out as I'm going to do something else without thinking but I've been much more cognizant of it since she brought it up to me.
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u/pcapdata 6d ago
Everyone assumes “Guy is interacting with a woman. He must want to flirt with her!” And the more likely answer is “Dude is acting out his proscribed gender role and thinks he’s being helpful.”
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u/alchemeron 6d ago
proscribed
Just a heads up in case this wasn't a typo: "proscribe" is basically the opposite of "prescribe."
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u/Stormfly 6d ago
It's weird when people act like this is a sexism thing of men belittling women when it's just the classic societal pressure thing. It's one of those classic gender roles that people have been pressured into conforming to.
Both men and women get it for different things.
If a woman is doing manual labour, a man is "encouraged" to help. (ie. He's shamed if he doesn't.) It ingrains itself into your brain so you feel uncomfortable watching women doing something because you're "supposed to" do it for them.
It's also not just men doing it to other men, it's women and men doing it to men. Men are "encouraged" to do it no matter what the woman says. Even if she says she doesn't need help, they're criticised for not helping.
One of my friends was at a party and a drunk guy was getting very close to another friend. He asked her "Are you okay? Do you need help?" and she said very clearly "No. I'm fine. I can handle it."
Even so, another female friend kept bothering him to help the first girl and to ignore that she explicitly told him not to.
Damned if you do and damned if you don't.
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u/Bartorius 6d ago
Brother that is almost textbook sexism. The man is expected to do something because of his sex. The woman is supposed to not do something because of her sex.
Sexism doesn't have to come from a point of belittling another consciously.
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u/siridontcare 6d ago
I worked at a mom and pop place that had a lot of mothers come in with babys. I got written up by my female boss several times for not helping them with their stuff... The moms would always verbally tell me they didn't want me to help when I asked Like if they want to be independent, let them! For her to write me up, meant she was also there, not helping.
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u/monty624 6d ago
Yeah. Even if he were trying to flirt, why is that okay to continue when the person says "no thanks?" Or to try to flirt in a gym where people go to mind their own damn business?
But it would be a hilarious plot twist is OP's form is just horrible.
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u/ZoominAlong 6d ago
He's probably not even thinking about it; he helps women with heavy groceries, why not weights? He just isn't making the connection and it's kind of funny.
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u/Pinkleek01 6d ago
I figured its for the same reason people will be annoying about helping disabled people (as a visibly disabled person myself), I do not mind if someone asks and respects my answer, but i've had people duck in front of me when I open a door or smth and its like?? My wheelchair has no handles so thankfully no ones pushed me randomly.
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u/Vast_Travel_3819 6d ago
My legally blind sister HATED it when people would randomly grab her arm to "help." And, damn it, sometimes they'd basically pull her off her feet. and endanger her And never for cause: she wasn't about to walk into stuff. Just totally invading her space, touching her body, treating her as if she was incompetent, all while patting themselves on their own backs for being good to the poor crippled person.
If people need help, they will ask.
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u/FirmOnion 6d ago
God that’s a good point, never thought that you could curb the problem of well-intentioned people assaulting you by removing the handles, that’s great
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u/Pinkleek01 6d ago
Mine just didn't come with them, my old wheelchair from when I was a child did have them but the person who made my chair doesn't believe in handles. I had to convince him to add the seat belt and brakes since he almost never adds those either lol.
I'm not sure if i'd consider it assault but it certainly is annoying. It kinda makes me glad the chair didn't have handles.
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u/FirmOnion 6d ago
He didn’t want to add brakes lmao?!? Did you have to convince him to add a seat, too?
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u/Pinkleek01 6d ago edited 6d ago
Its mainly because his main brand is for sports wheelchairs (how i met him), so a lot of people with regular day to day chairs don't care about the brakes or seat belt(from his brand), which he also doesn't have on his regular chair either. I live in a very hilly area so I wanted brakes, and my core strength back then was really bad so I didn't wanna fly out. I could probably do without a seat belt now but the brake is nice sometimes, though tbh I don't use it often enough.
ETA Though, seatbelts are used for the wheelchair sport I played (basketball), I would use two sets of seat belts, one for my lap and the other for my legs since I get spasticity. I'm not sure what he had against them tbh. Brakes i can see since we did not have brakes in sports chairs, so I guess maybe you get used to not having them.
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u/LuckyLuck765 6d ago
HOLY SHIT. thank you.
i'm also a visibly disabled person and most of the time, maybe like 90% even, i appreciate the help, but sometimes you really just wanna *do* shit, you know?
like i'm gonna take a shower the walk is like 20 ft away i don't need my cane
sorry if this is too different from your example, but i can't help but empathize with your comment
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u/Inside_Bumblebee_737 6d ago
In an engineering lab class, we each had to design a machine using knex and recyclables. I needed to cut a 2 liter bottle in half for my machine. I tried a box cutter and scissors, but both were very difficult and slow. Then I tried a hand saw, and it actually worked way better and faster. Then a male TA came over and told me to try scissors. I told him I already had, and this worked better. He said, "let me try." He realized the scissors didn't do the trick and left me alone with my saw. A few minutes later, another male TA came up and suggested the scissors AGAIN. I told him no, I'd already tried it. He insisted on trying himself. I grudgingly let him try, to get it over with. Again, he realized I was right with the saw and left me alone. Finally a third male TA approached and told me to use scissors. I told him no. He argued. He insisted. I yelled at him to go away. Still, he wouldn't leave me alone until the professor, who had seen it all, also yelled at him to leave me alone. I finished sawing my bottle 10 minutes later than I probably would have if those three men hadn't bothered me.
They all meant well, and it wasn't any of their faults that all three of them did the same unhelpful thing. Something in our society's air, man.
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u/TheWhomItConcerns 6d ago
I agree - to me, this is like the non-verbal form of mansplaining. If someone is going to the gym then I think it's safe to assume that, unless they actually ask for help, that they're looking to do stuff themselves.
Of course if someone is very visibly struggling or clearly doesn't know what they're doing then it's fine to politely offer some help/guidance. However, unless you genuinely believe that they're about to have a very serious accident or something like that, just respect their response.
I don't think most guys realise just how big the discrepancy between the way that men and women are treated in this regard though. At the gym, I'm almost never approached unless someone is asking for my help with something, but my girlfriend regularly gets approached at the exact same gym though - there's obviously more to this than standard gym etiquette.
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u/BodhingJay 6d ago
You cant carry weights, you can only be expected to press them... because women keep all their muscles in their boobies
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u/Digletts_Legs 6d ago
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u/War_machine77 6d ago
Pee stored in balls. All woman's muscles in boobs.
Reddit is teaching me so much.
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u/FurryXSurryx 6d ago
There is always something new to learn. Also, girls dont fart. They use the gas to inflate their chest. I learned that recently in a other sub.
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u/Living_Murphys_Law 6d ago
Pee is stored in one ball, cum in the other. It's a common misconception that both contain pee
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u/Odd-Faithlessness-33 6d ago
ah, that's why your not supposed to cross streams. ghostbusters makess sense now
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u/whitestguyuknow 6d ago
Why don't the really big boobied women share? Are they that greedy??
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u/Frederf220 6d ago
Muscle is stored in the boobs
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u/BodhingJay 6d ago
Cant have max children without boob muscle to shoot out enough milk to feed them all
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u/plastic_sludge 6d ago
With enough time and effort you'll be cutting steel with them pressurized boobies
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u/Jagosyo 6d ago
You know that'd be kind of neat if it were true.
Instead of push-ups we'd see boob-ups. Trouble opening a jar? Just pop that baby in between the boobs and twist. Fight scene in a movie? She's just smacking people left and right with her boobs. She's got two for everybody. Ooh, that guy took a bad hit, you know he's not getting up again.
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u/SirBeeves SeraBeeves 6d ago edited 6d ago
I am so confused, lifting heavy stuff is why I’m here? Now I’m self conscious that I look like I’m struggling while setting up.
Edit: obligatory self promo of my Instagram
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u/SorcererSupremPizza 6d ago
He probably wanted to talk but felt that he was making things weird so he decided to back off
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u/whitestguyuknow 6d ago
stares with wide smile while racking her weight
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u/fieldsofanfieldroad 6d ago
As my gran always used to say, better to rack her weight than to weigh her rack.
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u/Gingevere 6d ago
Guy who got the saying backwards: "Hey there, your boobs look real heavy. About 2lbs each?"
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u/DisMFer 6d ago
Having been in gyms since I was a teenager there are two options. Either the guy is hoping you talk to him as a way to start to flirt, a lot of people use gyms as signles bars for some reason and helping someone rack is almost like asking if you want them to buy you a drink.
Or option two, the guy is agressively freindly for some reason and does it to everyone. There are guys (and girls) at gyms who think they're everyone's buddy. They'll start conversations the second you stand still, they'll rack weights for you or unrack them without being asked, they'll even try and spot guys without being asked. I don't know where it comes from personallitywise but every gym has one of these guys.
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u/Tron_35 6d ago
I think every activity/hobby has these types of people. Some people flirt at weird times, and others are just so happy to help anyone.
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u/Dan_Caveman 6d ago
You know that person at your job that doesn’t respect boundaries and acts like you’re all there to socialize instead of to make money? Unfortunately, they have hobbies and go to the gym.
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u/Stormfly 6d ago
You know that person at your job that doesn’t respect boundaries and acts like you’re all there to socialize instead of to make money?
Is this a thing? Everyone at my work loves to cha-
Oh no...
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u/Mikomics 6d ago
I mean if people don't want to be part of the social aspect of work then I won't bother them but I really like the social aspect of my work :(
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u/Elite_AI 6d ago
No offence but your work environment sounds shit if you're all there stern and business faced bc "we're just here to make money"
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u/Anarchy_Rulz 6d ago edited 6d ago
Never been to a gym as I prefer working out alone or with friends but was about to comment something similar becuase a guy at my work did something like this once. My job is sanitation so I clean up the lines at the factory when they are done running them and one day the guys were lingering around waiting for it to be time to clock out when I started cleaning and two guys thanked me for cleaning up after them, then one of them ran over to drain a machine so I didn’t have to cross and then when I was done he ran over to helped me put my hose up and asked how my day was. I could totally see him helping rack weights for someone or randomly spotting them in a gym.
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u/captainAwesomePants 6d ago
Could be the doors thing. Some guys have been programmed, usually by their parents, to ALWAYS open a door for a lady. The lady could be closer to the door, and you might need to sprint to get there first, and you might need to fight her for control of the door, but bah gawd you are going to open that door for that lady because that is what you're supposed to do. It's not necessarily because they're hitting on you, it's just social programming.
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u/No_Train8976 6d ago
Its hard to break, ive literally been late to class because i left myself stuck holding the door for a whole group of people
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u/Fern_Cloud 6d ago
Nah, he was trying to flirt more likely than not. A common way men segue into flirting is by offering to lift something heavy a woman is carrying. It can be effective outside of the gym but confusing inside the gym.
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u/Fishpuncherz 6d ago
Yeah... but in the gym... wouldn't it make more sense to offer to spot her? You know... actually helping.... boys are silly
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u/soffpotatisen 6d ago
I like to think that's what he was planning to ask, but fucked it up and fled the scene.
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u/hallucination9000 6d ago
Considering that he seemingly never interacted again, yeah I think he just realized it was goofy and didn't know how to salvage it so he panicked.
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u/BlatantConservative 6d ago
I would be worried about the balls to the face potential. Halo pvp is not the way to pick up women.
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u/Fern_Cloud 6d ago
It would make much more sense and would have probably gotten a better response lol
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u/RottingSludgeRitual 6d ago
He’s very very awkwardly trying to flirt. Being in your late teens and early twenties is just a rough time and this poor guy was hoping to be smooth but instead was weird. But at least he was nice weird and not creepy weird!
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u/Intellectual_Wafer 6d ago
I'm 30 now and still very awkward. For some, the rough time doesn't end.
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u/TyWorth 6d ago
I’m 38 and I’ve totally given up on trying to meet anyone organically. As an autistic guy I struggle enough with the few social rules I do know about, so reading comments about where and when you’re allowed to flirt is just too much. It seems like the real answer is “nowhere” and the best time is “never”, so I’m gonna play it safe.
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u/ISwearImaWriter963 6d ago
I think the "be nice" part of their brain got ahead of the logic part
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u/Last-Worldliness-591 6d ago
Exactly, I bet some random day at 3am his brain is going to go "Remember when you offered to carry the weights that that girl was going to lift?"
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u/jaywinner 6d ago
Nothing wrong with offering help with a heavy object in most cases. But if they don't need help, you don't help.
And it's especially silly here as she's planning to lift those weights as part of her training. Lifting is literally the point here.
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u/Just_Another_Scott 6d ago
This isn't the gym, but a few years ago a new woman was hired and someone kept suggesting I should help her. I told them if she wanted my help she could ask. She never did, and did just fine. It wasn't my job to help her do hers either.
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u/NinaEmbii 6d ago
I get this when changing tires on a car. I'm completely capable and don't need help . It's nice to see that people are willing to stop and take time out of their day to offer help. But, when men continually INSIST on helping despite many versions of "No thanks", it too easily turns into a lesson in fragile masculinity.
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u/_ByAnyOther_Name 6d ago
Also I remember in the news cases where a predator intentionally messed with victims cars so he could offer assistance and get in proximity to her. I'm not saying people shouldn't offer assistance because that's a genuinely kind and helpful thing, but respect the "no"!
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u/llestaca 6d ago
It's nice to see that people are willing to stop and take time out of their day to offer help.
Honestly, I wouldn't even find it nice. If I'm standing in front of my car and looking confused, sure, it's great if someone offered help as apparently I don't know how to fix the issue. But if I'm already fixing it, what's the point? Does the guy think I'm incapable of doing what I'm already doing? Weird as hell.
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u/EldritchSlut 6d ago
They are trying to see if their pheromones are working as they should. Obviously, they are not.
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u/Signal_Lie6630 6d ago
People are saying this is flirting and I think I’m just dumb because I’d take it as “ah they want me out of this area as soon as possible so they’re trying to rush me.” Like I’d take this as someone thinking I’m incapable lmao
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u/Ppleater 6d ago edited 6d ago
Note to guys, this isn't a good way to flirt. Even if you don't mean anything bad by it, it looks kind of like you think the woman needs help to lift the weights she's literally about to start lifting anyway, which comes across as patronizing. So even assuming that he only has benign intentions, this is just a bad idea in general. Just strike up a regular conversation, and if she doesn't seem receptive then leave her be.
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u/Able_Sentence_1873 6d ago
Also just like, in general, if you ask someon "want/need help?" dont fucking do the thing before they answer. Wtf even is that??
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u/SpideyMGAV 6d ago
Yeah grabbing weights out of someone’s hands is patronizing as hell. The only way I could see this flirt as successful is if you do it the helpful gym bro way and start loading the other side so they can get to their lift faster.
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u/HeadGuide4388 6d ago
Follow up by offering to spot if they dont have a partner. I assume, I haven't been to a gym in 6 years.
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u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC Never Safe From Wumbo 6d ago
I'm surprised he didn't try to lift it for you at that point.
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u/yinyin123 6d ago
Honestly might be a good response. "Okay, thanks! Now help me lift it!"
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u/Pcat0 6d ago
Other than that guy will 100% take that as a positive response to them flirting. So unless that is your intention, maybe don’t.
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u/Technicolor_Reindeer 6d ago
I don't mind a guy offering to help. But that thing where they take something out of your hands despite a no? Fuck that.
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u/Lawlcopt0r 6d ago
I think it's also worth noting that lifting that weight is literally what she came for. Doesn't make much of a difference wether she lifts it one more time while putting it on the bar.
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u/KokopelliArcher 6d ago
I had some asshole literally trace a line down my back with his finger as he was explaining proper form to me. It was so deeply uncomfortable. I swear to God if I ever see that man again and he's anywhere near me we're going to have words
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u/SomeSugondeseGuy 6d ago
He wants to be nice and one of two things is happening:
He's an idiot
He isn't, but his attraction to you has made his brain REALLY quiet.
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u/The_Elder_Jock 6d ago
Being near the subject of your affection and zero brain activity. The classic combination.
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u/Snoo_97207 6d ago
I once had a crush on a waitress of a Thai place near my uni and I was a semi regular, one day she sits opposite me rather than standing, looks me dead in the eye, bats her eyelashes and asked me "What do you want" and my brain short circuited. I'm fairly sure she was just being casual and not flirty but I was tripping over words and that made her smile!
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u/Kioga101 6d ago
Three possibilities, either bro is trying to know you better, he is trying to play the role of a spotter (because that exercise ideally should have someone looking after you, just in case) or bro is just a helping just because.
I choose option 2, because it's honestly the best one.
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5d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/LadyAlleta 3d ago
This sounds logical, and what you said is true. Beginners can hurt themselves. But at no point in the comic is it said that she's a beginner. Or that this is a new gym.
She's literally right next to the bar and right before she's about to put the weight on, he came over to do the final step of putting the weight on. And she's not straining in any panel. There's no indication that she's a novice or needed help at all.
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u/Eusocial_sloth3 6d ago
As a man, I learned this life lesson the hard way.
No woman at the gym wants to talk to you.
EVER.
They want to do their workout and leave.
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u/AboutTheArthur 6d ago
Hey man, that's not fair.
Sometimes they'll approach you while you're on a machine, look you in the eye, and ask that one magic question.
"How many sets do you have left?"
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u/aakaakaak 6d ago
Happened to me a couple weeks ago. I was on leg extensions and she was on hamstring curls. We both finished about the same time. All she did was start to point. So I said "swap?"
No other words were needed. We hi-fived. It was a perfect gym bro moment.
Now we're married. To other people. We were married to other before, but we still are. To other people.
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u/Jadefeather12 6d ago
God damnit, that rug pull at the end had me laughing out loud at my kitchen table. Curse you 😂
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u/alistofthingsIhate 6d ago
As a man I also don't want to be spoken to while at the gym lol
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u/donielgilbert 6d ago
I know girls who have met their boyfriends at the gym. All depends on the person
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u/Ok-Oil7124 6d ago
And how they talk. It might have just been a situation of people being on the same schedule/routine and saying, "Care if I work in?" and then they just keep bumping into each other, talk about form/reps/progress whatever. It's how people meet people in other situations-- shared interest and just treating people like complete human beings.
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u/robin52077 6d ago
If she’s about to lift two of them (plus the bar), why does he think she needs help with one?
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u/neurvon 6d ago
your resting between sets is technically more restful if you dont actually move the plates yourself
for this reason, if you have a personal trainer its very normal for them to load up the plates for you so you can put 100% of your effort into the reps and lower the risk of injury etc
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u/killabee163 6d ago
Pretty goofy. I don't even interact with women at the gym. Nothing good ever comes from it.
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u/Galaxy_Draco 6d ago
i just dont interact with anyone, best thing to do
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u/RicketCrickets 6d ago
I was wondering if he was offering to spot, then I remembered gym creeps are very much a thing.
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u/ThatInAHat 6d ago
Same as guys when you hold a door open for them. Twice I’ve had men put their hands on me to “guide” me through a door I was holding open for them because I was in a better position for it.
It’s so frustrating when men decide to do a “chivalry” that’s just “I will be polite by ignoring what you say and doing something you don’t want.”
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u/Clean-Perception-416 6d ago
Ngl, I read this as a, "need a spotter" type question. The loading of the weights made me think of when those gym nuts go all, "add another plate", allowing the lifter to not have to shuffle around and spend less time readjusting.
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u/Munchkinasaurous 6d ago
Definitely an awkward attempt at flirting that wasn't fully thought through.
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u/MelancholicMinerva 6d ago
The only time I ever actually would appreciate something like this is when someone leaves a bar near the top (prolly from a guy over 6ft doing squats or something) and they leave like 4 45 plates on them. Other wise, I got this bro, you can mind yourself.
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u/Kuliquitakata 6d ago edited 6d ago
It only makes sense if you’re doing like twelve plates on a leg press and it’s to help you save time.
Or I guess if they take the opposite end of a heavy bar while you’re stacking / racking so it takes half the time and the bar stays balanced. Then it’s welcome.
This configuration, is not.
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u/Anubis17_76 6d ago
1) flirting
2) you struggled with the plate and hes trying to help (doesnt look like it in the comic tho)
3) he doesnt get gym etiquette.
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u/Northern_Grouse 6d ago edited 6d ago
It’s a confusing joke.
He helped her lift the plate, yet didn’t consider she’s about to lift two of them AND a bar
Obviously she’s confused by his actions.
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u/ishi5656 6d ago
One time I was at a train station with a large suitcase on wheels and I had to go up a set of stairs to get to my platform. A guy offered to take my bag for me and I said "No, thank you. I've got it."
He then proceeded to yank the bag out of my hand so insistently that I fell down the stairs. Not exactly a great look if he was trying to flirt.