r/confession • u/Worldbeater112 • 1d ago

I have a freaky guilty pleasure that no one else in the world has

Pretty straightforward, I sometimes like to masturbate to highlights of Jonjo Shelvey when I'm on the toilet at work.

14 Upvotes
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64% Upvoted

30 comments sorted by

62

u/Purple_Deer1975 1d ago

Some confessions should be left unconfessed.

9

u/jrbogdan 1d ago

Batman couldn't get this out of me

5

u/Desperate_Branch1824 1d ago

Saw him in turkey like 6 years ago. Played golf in front of me. Add that to the wank bank

•

u/Candylicker0469 33m ago

Did he play with a stiff shaft? Was his ball white, yellow?

5

u/liv-luv-leavemealone 10h ago

I went to high school with him… probably won’t be sharing this knowledge with him though 🤔

-1

u/Worldbeater112 9h ago

Was he bald in secondary school?

3

u/Unfair-Ad1675 1d ago

As a world beater, that sounds about right.... It's okay to be gay!

2

u/PolyJuicedRedHead 1d ago

You fantasize about JoJo Siwa?!?!

2

u/Nervous_Writer_2632 22h ago

Yup, name checks out.

2

u/Ground_Hog_LongDick 18h ago

I’ve had some friends who have nutted in the work bathroom, maybe not to that exact person, but a lot of folk have tainted the toilet at work

1

u/Crazy_Ruin_4383 1d ago

You'd be surprised how many think that

1

u/Critical-Passage8165 1d ago

Learn to masturbate Jonjo Shelvey, then You’ll feel REALLY guilty

1

u/Taddious_ 1d ago

THERE’S 2 OF US?!?!!

1

u/PitifulGuidance2324 1d ago

holy moley! i thought i was the only one that did this!

1

u/TeaHuge9153 1d ago

Now I’m seriously fucked up

1

u/lovechoke 1d ago

I mean, he's hot. Just don't spend too much time in there and get in trouble lol

1

u/Worldbeater112 1d ago

Its the big, beautiful bald head for me

1

u/jolanta_kozowska153 1d ago

The real gamble is someone finding Jonjo Shelvey highlights in the office Wi-Fi history.

1

u/Enough_Pepper8880 20h ago

I took this as a challenge but naw you can win

1

u/necessary-sugar9795 7h ago

Professional athletes are in top physical condition

1

u/QuitAlive2475 3h ago

Wrong, I've been doing since before it was cool

0

u/Funambulia 1d ago

Wait 24h and we will be 10. 48h and we will be legion.

There is no stopping what you started

-1

u/Avacadolow4501 1d ago

That isn't freaky now if it was to Trump that would be freaky !