Introduction and advice!

[u/Turbulent_Yam_8643]

Introduction

Hello. Im Jas (Jasmine) and I am new to Reddit but was advised to join detrans by my former partner.

I am AFAB but medically transitioned to "male" three years ago. I genuinely thought I was a boy but I think it was due to being with my Ftm partner and hanging out with all his trans friends. Since we broke up, I cant stop feeling like a fraud and I think I should begin detransitioning but i am so embarrassed and dont know where to start. Would love some advice and encouragement if its harsh. I am desperate to start dating again but know this is going to be a challenge due to my current appearance and situation.

I havent had vaginal sex for over three years (me and bf were anal only) so I guess a start would be using that hole again?

I dont think I am in anyway passable as a girl in public 😕

J x

[u/DarichUbish]

You have an incorrect user tag, it should be "FTM currently questioning", mods are usually pretty strict about user tags

[u/OneDiligent3023]

here’s my emotional advice: BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Do not blame yourself, or anyone else honestly. This is something that happened to you (and was/has been/is very traumatic). None of us (detrans) ever wanted to be detrans. We didn’t ask for this outcome, but we’re all here nonetheless. Spend time thinking about why you want to be a woman now, what about girlhood/womanhood you miss, and what kind of woman you want to be. Take little steps to start being her. This is more than a physical transition, you’re going to make big mental changes too. Here’s my personal timeline for you (disclaimer i quit T about two years before all of this, but that’s my first suggestion if ur on it): The first thing I did was I started incorporating more girly things into my life. I spent way too much time looking up my to take care of my hair properly and how to grow it out quickly (it honestly took me a year to go from pixie/boy cut to a bob). I started doing some makeup and relearning all that. I started experimenting with women’s clothing. After a year of quietly visibly leaning more fem, I told my friends and family. After that- it got the ball rolling. Legal name change was the first big thing. Lots of therapy, and research about what I felt like i needed to do to get “my life back” I started having consults for my breast reconstruction about 3 months after my name change and had my surgery about 3 months after I found the right surgeon (dO NOT GO WITH A SURGEON YOU HAVE ANY DOUBTS ABOUT.) I am currently one week post op from my final surgery. Overall it’s taken me about 3 years from my “breakdown realization” to get here. There’s still a lot of grief in my heart and trauma i’m working through, but I am excited about the woman I am becoming. There is much hope. I can’t repeat enough that my biggest advice is be so so kind to yourself. This takes time, awkward stages, awkward conversations, and patience. No one has EVER become a woman overnight. I hope this has given you some hope, if you wanna talk more just shoot me a message <3

[u/Turbulent_Yam_8643 → u/OneDiligent3023]

😍😍😍😍