Hello! i am lesbian stem and i live in AZ. I've been out of the org for 3 years now. I would like to make friends online (and I’m open to something more if we happen to click!).

A little bit about me: I like crafts, journaling, adventuring outside, and occasionally gaming. I am introverted and I'm currently studying for a degree in psychology.

We don't have to share the same interests. Shoot me a DM if you're interested.

Hey ya’ll. I’ve posted a couple times in the past. But I wanted to post for some help. I’m incredibly happy that I’m (29f) going to be getting married next month to my loving fiancée (f). However, something that has been tugging at me since we started planning our wedding is how I will have no family there. Even though for the most part I’m fine with it and have accepted it, there are also moments where I get sad and can’t help but almost feel sorry for myself. My concern is that I will spend my wedding day not thinking about the happiness in front of me, but that my family isn’t there. So my question is for those who have gone through this, how did you get through the day without focusing on that aspect too much?

My fiancée has been amazing, but there’s only so much she can do obviously. She didn’t grow up in the cult and she tries her best to understand. She cries with me, gets angry with me. She’s amazing. And I don’t want my family to ruin this day that’s meant for us and our future. So any advice would be great. Thank you all!

In June 2025 an ex-jw posted here looking for Spanish speaking members, since most of what is posted here is in English. I was trying to make new friends as a PIMO. People with similar background and similar struggles, so I private messaged him.

We soon started to talk every day and realized that we had good chemistry. The only problem: distance. More than 8000 km (almost 5,000 miles) and a whole ocean separating us. But we decided to give it a try.

Last week he took a couple of flights, and we finally met in person, after a little over 1 year since we started to talk. After meeting in person and spending a few days together, we realized that we do work well together both through the screen and also in person. This strengthened our determination to keep trying. And that is how, thanks to this sub-reddit, two gay ex-jws who were taught they didn't deserve love from someone of their same gender met each other and started a relationship. Even my JW sister and brother in law decided to meet him and expressed their support for us and our relationship.

Of course, we're grown ups and always do our best to not idealize neither the person nor the situation. We're doing our best to keep it real. We've done work individually and together. Things like therapy and open communication have been key.

If you read all this, please wish us luck, as we start to plan the next trip. This time, me crossing the Atlantic to see him again.. Of course, we don't know what the future will bring, but we are willing to do our best to continue making it work.

Hi everybody, I am M22, and I just came out to friend on accident. I got very drunk and told him way more than I ever should have said. I have been dating my bf for 5 months now, and we have been boyfriends for 2 months. We already live together, so I knew it was time to tell someone what was going on, but I never planned on it being this certain friend. So now he knows everything, and I rember him saying that he would have to contact the elders. I will probably get removed very soon. So to my question. Everyone that I have ever been friends with is a JW, and I have no idea how to make new friends. My bf will literally be my only friend for a good minute. How did y'all find new friends, and how can I make any friends now?

Hi everyone!

42M gay from El Salvador. I left the cult in 2023. It's been hard to make new friends, specially now that we are adults and it isn't easy as when we were children.

I thought I could give it a try to get online friends too. I like coffee, going out on trips, meeting new people and learning about their cultures and languages. I speak English, Spanish, French, Portuguese, some Italian and Mandarin Chinese.

Please hit me up if you're game to talk. Thanks!

Just as I said in the title. Want to know how I can talk to him appropriately to make sure hes ok.

I was having a lazy scroll and came across a video by an ex-Bethelite Doctor who claims to have treated many Bethelites for STDs and one included (without specific naming but obvious description) Tony Morris. Link at the end of the post.

I Googled this and can’t find anything anywhere. She stated that as part of her role when she treats sexually transmitted diseases she has to report them (not the person, I think?) and it helps identify if there are hotspots. Apparently Bethel was a hotspot, with gonohrrea being present mainly in oral and anal cavities. Almost all were men. She said she would guess that 50% of (male?) Bethelites are gay and 85% (male, incl. gay) have had sex with another man.

There were a few things I wondered about the stats:
- Wouldn’t STD’s have been passed on to more women i.e. wives, of the men who had them?
- Why were so many having unprotected sex?
- 50% of men at Bethel being gay sounds like a lot. The general population is estimated at 10%. However… Bethel discourages women, prefers unmarried men to couples. She did mention a lot of the new young guys working there on presses etc as being good-looking, twink types. Religious repression, a highly anti gay stance but a place crawling with mainly repressed men. ‘The Lady Doth Protest Too Much’ often applies when people talk about hating something a lot. It’s like the Catholic Church, Conservative Types, Bible Belt, etc.
- 85% of men having had sex with another man sounds crazy. That sounds way off. Again, in a place that is the way she describes, experimentation, coercion, ‘promotion’, abuse - all could be factors.

The other reason she gave was that she has to report them is because it is criminal to knowingly pass on an STD by having unprotected sex so there are records kept in case someone has criminal charges brought against them. I got a bit confused there because I thought she’d said earlier that it was just the numbers not the people but hey, it might be different records to different authorities/health depts?

She is currently in litigation over some things with Watchtower so I’m guessing that those with research skills will be able to track down the litigation side to check that.

I think she was a medic in New York, married to another medic, they were paid for their work in the six figures because state laws stated voluntary work could only be done at a medical facility. They had their own home and new cars rather than Bethel rooms. I don’t know if that rings bells with any Bethelites. Maybe I’m wrong and it was Warwick etc.

Could any other YouTubers (Wally, Lloyd, Critical Thinking guys etc) verify this, either do more researched exposes or video’s debunking something that is really harmful either way - that Bethel is/is not crawling with STDs and such a high level of people who have to repress their completely normal sexuality.

https://youtu.be/sckyYM3LiG8?is=heKlJspAsKXM3z5t

Hello everyone,I’m 21M gay who struggle to make friends in real life because i live in a place where gay people are treated with less respect so every time you have to be careful. Theres little or no queer places where you can relax and feel like yourself all that while trying to recover from the cult you was raised in its just to much to take.
Sometimes i feel so heartbroken and i don’t even know who to talk to. I’d like to have people in here who have faced similar problems and who’ll lend a listening ear and vice versa.

What the title says. I ended up snapping on the weekend, I’ve been PIMO (mostly kinda not really cause I’ve talked about stuff) for two years. But yeah it was national coming out day, was triggered by things with the religion and family and I did it. Posted a string of posts celebrating queer rights and culture and within a day lost 50 JW followers, (550+ people saw this post) had people I haven’t heard from for ages reaching out. Elders from my old hall reaching out. But I was finally done hiding and justifying their blood doctrine and apologizing for being a queer bi man. But it’s just crazy it’s both liberating but also seeing the responses from people… overnight you lose people. I just am kinda grieving my old life but glad I can finally be me. I live with my JW family and I’m likely about to go thru hell but at this point I don’t even care because I’ve been able to be honest for the first time in my fucking life and be comfortable in my own skin.

I’m kinda numb and tired but relieved. I just need someone to tell me it’s gonna be ok lol

Hi everyone!! I just wrote my first book about growing up as a queer JW and how leaving the cult has changed my life for the better.

Available at B&N and Amazon (Worldwide)!!

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/rediscovering-paradise-rhys-silva/1151037850?ean=9798182558280

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0HDLF4MN7?dplnkId=5aef95c6-f0bd-44ae-a628-87feafe6fdd5&nodl=1

Sono un uomo , cerco uomo chubby o bear

Soy publicador no bautizado, la verdad, ingrese a esta religión desde los 5 años, ya llevo 10 años siendo publicador no bautizado, no me dan las ganas de bautizarme, toda la religión se me hace ina absoluta hipócrita, dicen que bautizarte es amar a Jehová, pero... ¿porqué los que dicen que lo debes amar son las que mas pecan?, yo también peco un secreto que muy poco saben de mi, es que soy gay, algunas personas de la congregación lo saben, pero siempre me he preguntado, ¿realmente yo pertenezco aquí?, ¿soy solo hipócrita al salir a predicar, comentar, ir a las reuniones de forma siempre regular sabiendo que realmente no me interesa, que solo lo hago mecanimente?, para mi ser testigo Jehová es lo peor, te pierdes de muchas cosas, solo porque son paganas, he perdido grandes oportunidades laborales por lo mismo, pero apenas cometo un error y todos me ven, pero cuando necesito ayuda, milagrosamente nadie me ve, para mi, ser publicador no bautizado es de lo peor me pudo haber pasado.

I've been out of the jws organization for the last 3 years, and geting new Friends being an adult is really difficult. It's really hard to connect. I know a bunch of new people but I can't call them friends, I just see them at events.

​

O que vocês acham ?

Um homem tem que ser obrigatoriamente afeminado para ter atração por outro homem assim como a organização diz ? Ou um homem completamente masculino em todos os seus jeitos também pode ter o mesmo interesse ?

Eu sou um jovem que sempre tive atração por meninos, mas ninguém me vê como afeminado, nem mesmo eu.

O que vocês tem a dizer?

( Falando nisso tem dias que tô numa ânsia pra me assumir, mas daí me controlo pois sei que não dá no momento, enfim é um carga grande: PIMO, Autismo, e desejo pelo mesmo sexo).

Grew up a witness and always knew I was attracted to men. Ever since I’ve come to terms with it, I’ve had a much better mindset and understanding of myself. Stopped going to meetings after I realized how manipulative the GB is and how they look down on everyone outside of the organization. This has made it easier to pull away and live a happier life. If anyone is down to chill dm me. Always open to new friends or more ;)

I’m planning my wedding with my wonderfully amazing fiancée. I’ve been out now about 6 years, and have found love in genuine human form
My maternal side is all JW, and while I haven’t been df’d, they do not speak to me. My sister who left at the same time is now married to her husband and they attend a different church now. She does not condone ‘my sin’ either and will not be invited.
My paternal side of the family have never been JWs. There are a couple aunts/uncles who love the sinner hate the sin, and a couple relatives who are semi but not outwardly supportive.

Aita for thinking it best to not invite any of my family at all? I/we want to be surrounded by love for our wedding, am I wrong to think I’d just rather not play the guessing game of whether I genuinely have their support or not?

I’m currently in the bathroom at my congregation as I write this. I’m 18F and grew up in “the truth”. I’ve never liked a man in my whole life I grew up as a tomboy and I’m a masc now, I’m also in college. I thought I’d be free in college, I’m dorming there, paying for everything but it’s like if I don’t go my whole family won’t talk to me. I feel like I’m the only lesbian jw to exist and it’s so hard. One time this elder found my tik tok page and I have #wlw and what not, he called my mom saying we need to have a talk, my mom came in my room “did you post smth of you drinking or out at a party cause I woke up with so many messages abt the elders wanting to talk about you” (at the time I was 17 a minor, so when they see smth wrong they talk with the parent and you). This made me be forced to come out to my JW mom. Next day I told her in the car had the biggest talk ever about 5 hours and me and her never talk abt serious stuff. She then made me go to the said meeting, so i basically went to conversion therapy I went about 5 times. On the 5th time i remember exactly they where talking about my friends and how they could’ve influenced me and what not, but my friends are the sweetest people ever that i love sm so i stood up for them and then they where like “there has to be someone who you talked to about this stuff” that’s the thing, there wasn’t. No one fully understands how it feels to be a lesbian in jw family. As I’m sitting here at meeting rn I js think abt that and abt sm other stuff. Maybe if I was a born a man I’d belive in this stuff because then I could be with a girl. I just really want my family to love me, I’m so tired of everything