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There is No Joy in Cookieville.

A few days ago, there were posts on r/fastfood and on r/fastfoodreview about the crumbling empire (pun intended) of Crumbl - both of which were among the most upvoted and most commented stories on those subs in a while. No, this is not a review of Crumbl (which I already did), but it's difficult to talk about just one of the new batch of fancy cookie "restaurants" without mentioning the others, because (to be frank) they are all pretty much in the same boat. And Crumbl is by far and away the largest.

For a few years, these specialty gourmet cookie shops were the darling of the franchise world, and it was like open up shop and you're printing money for the first year. But it seems the shine has worn off the baking sheets as year-over-year sales have absolutely cratered and stores are struggling. If you want an idea on some of the stiff headwinds facing the cookie franchisees, check out Michael Girdley's "Rise and Fall of Crumbl" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPMLe0IzBeQ -- If you live by the social media hype, you die by the social media hype. And the GLP-1 revolution, too.

So, where does Crave Cookies fall into this? They're a relative newcomer to the cookie world, emerging from Washington in 2023, but they have set their sights on aggressive growth, because they think they have "solved" the cookie problem. To crib directly from their website:

The $5 Cookie Problem. You've felt it. That sinking moment when you bite into an expensive cookie and realize it's just chocolate chip with different frosting. Again. The rotating cookie industry thinks swapping toppings equals innovation. Your taste buds know better. When you're committing $5 and 600 calories to a single dessert, it should be worth it. Not just dressed up. Actually different.

But here's the thing. Talking about the "$5 Cookie Problem" means nothing if you KEEP DOING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING. Crave Cookies still has what they call "drops" where they offer up limited time social-media-ready-FOMO cookies once a week. They are still belt-busting calorie bombs that cost as much per cookie, that you would spend for the same ingredients to make an entire batch at home. It's still the same (as they call it) 'frosting theater' that the other cookie places do, with increasingly fancy combinations and toppings for nothing else than the sake of trying to be different.

Oh, they may pay lip service to how they are different, but it's just that: lip service. In the end, it's all quibbling about the fine details. And they are still just a rotating selection of five dollar giant cookies ready-made for the Insta crowd.

Whew! That's a whole lot of crabbing about the business, I got carried away again. I could keep going for a while, but you get the idea - let's just say I'm not to keen on the future of this business model and leave it at that. Time to get around to the actual cookies themselves.

Similar to Chip Cookies and Tiff's Treats and Crumbl and Chip City, I asked for a sampler of 'their best', their choice. And yes, the cookies are indeed huge - for just a shade under five dollars, they oughtta be! Huge enough that each individual cookie is enough for an entire day. In the photo you're looking at four days of desserts. They are thick, and they are soft on the inside (which is the way a cookie should be - slightly undercooked is the only way to go). Out of the four, I liked the Reece's Peanut Butter Cup one the best. The Red Velvet one was just meh. Average them out, and they are decent enough, but only just that. Not the sort of cookie you bite into, and go audibly "mmmmmm" and can't wait for the next bite.

Which, I guess, is what boils down to the ultimate problem unsolved. The "$5 Cookie" problem. Even in today's inflationary world, for five dollars you are mentally expecting EXCEPTIONAL cookies. And this isn't that. I'd rather take the same five dollars and buy a still-overpriced entire package of Peanut Butter Oreos. At least I know those will last longer and I know I'll enjoy them, no regrets.

Coming up next: Twisters, LaMars Donuts, Illegal Pete's

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(About this review series: Starting in late 2025, I am visiting a different fast food/fast casual chain every day, until I run out of places to visit. Aiming to review as many chains on the Technomics Top 500 Restaurants list as possible, plus key/important regional and some local chains as well. UPDATE: This review series is scheduled to wrap up on Day 365. And no, I haven't gained weight, and no, it hasn't hurt my health.)

Comment if you want more! the options and reviews keep getting crazier and crazier. from a sushi dog, to sushi sandwich to sushi burrito and more!

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I've actually been looking forward to this. Port of Subs is a Nevada-based chain that I've had an amazing sub at before, but since they were nowhere near where I lived, there hasn't been a chance to really visit them again. But they have recently been on an expansion kick, trying to go from a regional darling to a national franchise, with locations opening up all over the country. There was a Port of Subs that was announced to be opening north of Austin in "Winter 2025", that has been stuck in "coming soon" mode now for nearly a year, much to my frustration. Instead, I found another one in Colorado to try out.

It's pretty much your standard submarine sandwich shop similar to all other chains, where they have a selection of subs to choose from with different meats, then you choose what toppings to add on top of that from under the glass. Nearly a cut-and-paste of every Subway, every Firehouse, every Quiznos, every Jersey Mikes, every Lenny's, every Togo's, every Jimmy John's you've been to before. And, frankly, I can't really point to anything that sets Port of Subs apart.

My choice was a basic Classic #2, which is ham and turkey on white with the normal veggies. Medium is eight inches. Yeah, I know the photo is a bit washed out because it was taken with my potato-phone, but if you look at that and thought, "that looks like ass", then you would be on the right track. It was a pretty pathetic little sandwich. Nothing especially BAD about it, but just a weak serving of meat on a tasteless roll with unexceptional toppings. The sort of thing you might expect from a vending machine, to be honest. This sandwich gave a sad.

Which makes me wonder, was the Port of Subs awesome sub I ate in northern Nevada those many years ago an anomaly? Or, perhaps this is because Port of Subs was bought out by a private equity firm in 2023, which has grand goals of increasing the number of stores several-fold in the upcoming years. And we all know how well that usually turns out.

Coming up next: Crave Cookies, Twisters, LaMars Donuts

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(About this review series: Starting in late 2025, I am visiting a different fast food/fast casual chain every day, until I run out of places to visit. Aiming to review as many chains on the Technomics Top 500 Restaurants list as possible, plus key/important regional and some local chains as well. UPDATE - I will be wrapping up this review series with Day #365. And no, I haven't gained weight, and no, it hasn't hurt my health.)

There's a few snacky sandwiches at subway for $5 as well as nachos and god knows what else.

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While on the east coast, Dunkin Donuts was building a yeast-based empire, on the west coast it was Winchell's. At its peak, Winchell's had well over 200 locations, mostly centered in the Los Angeles area, but also with franchises reaching far across several states. But not all empires are built to last - in the 2010's, the aging donut company was bought out by a rising California competitor, Yum Yum Donuts. And since then, Winchell's has been on the decline; some might even call it a complete collapse.

It's hard to easily tell exactly how many Winchell's locations are left. Most companies have a "store locator" where you can find the nearest locations, but it appears the one on the Winchell's website is both broken and outdated. A search through Google maps shows several locations in California, some in Las Vegas, some in Denver, and a few lone dots in the central plains. Independent for-sale databases put the most current number at 104 locations, but that is also in question. When I tried to visit Winchell's, the first location I visited had switched over to an independently-run mom and pop store, no longer Winchell's (in hindsight, maybe I should have gone there instead). Best estimate I have is there may be around 70 active, open locations today.

Sometimes you don't notice that something is gone, until you see it again for the first time in years. To me, because of where I lived, there always seemed to be a Winchell's around, it was one of those stores that was always there in the background, or so it seems. But over the past decade, they've faded away - so it wasn't until I saw one again in Denver that I thought, hey, when was the last time I've been to Winchell's? It's been ages!

And ages is right. Walking in, it was like going back thirty years. The promotional posters on the walls all had copyright notices from around 1998. Small and cramped, furniture fixtures that were probably older than I am, and a single worker makin' the donuts. Well, all that is forgivable if the donuts are good, right? Right???

But they weren't. The display case was absolutely PACKED with soooo many different varieties of donuts filling the trays to bursting under the glass, but I chose two pretty standard donuts - a bear claw and a chocolate raised. And from the very first bite, you could tell what the problem was.

They were OLD. The single biggest sin you can make in the donut world, is serve old donuts. Raised donuts start to get stale after a matter of hours; cake donuts can last a little longer, but not by much. These were both stale as fuck. Who knows how long they had been sitting under that glass, waiting to be bought? One day? Two days? Three days? More? No wonder the glass display was 100% packed full - they never throw anything out! They just keep it around for days until some yutz like me comes along and buys it.

Yeah, if this is indicative of the state of Winchell's today, no wonder they are rapidly dying off. There are plenty other donut shops I can go to (and did - stay tuned for those reviews!) instead.

Coming up next: Port of Subs, Crave Cookies, Twisters

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(About this review series: Starting in late 2025, I am visiting a different fast food/fast casual chain every day, until I run out of places to visit. Aiming to review as many chains on the Technomics Top 500 Restaurants list as possible, plus key/important regional and some local chains as well. UPDATE: This review series is scheduled to wrap up on Day 365. And no, I haven't gained weight, and no, it hasn't hurt my health.)

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I have been reviewing a different fast food/fast casual restaurant every day for the past 300+ days, and earlier I reviewed the following three restaurants. However, these three received "poor" scores for one reason or another, but based on previous experience and visits I knew they could do better. Perhaps it was an "off day", perhaps it was the specific item I ordered. In any case, here are some "second chance" reviews, where I am re-visiting the chain, to see if it can redeem itself and earn a higher score.

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Second Chance Review #55. (Original Review from Day 136): Cowboy Chicken (19 locations, 5 states)

Cowboy Chicken is one of those struggling franchises that I WANT to like, but just seems to not quite hit the mark. My theory is that they suffer from the 'jack of all trades, master of none' problem, with a menu that is very wide but not very deep, they end up spread too thin. On a revisit, I chose to return back to what their original focus was -- and still should be: Rotisserie chicken. And that was a good choice. When in doubt, go back to basics. Their dark-meat chicken is actually quite good and succulently juicy. The sweet potato side was more like a creamy dessert, they got the green beans done right, too. This was a solid 'redemption' meal. See? They can do it right when they try!

Meal Quality: +2, going from 5 -> 7. Meal Value +2, going from 3 -> 5 (out of 10)

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Second Chance Review #56. (Original Review from Day 261): Honey Baked Ham Company (527 locations, 42 states)

One of the problems that I sometimes run across when reviewing, is visiting at the wrong time of the day. Honey Baked Ham closes earlier than most, meaning I usually only have time to visit on most days during their last hour of the day. They really are more of a luncheon-crowd restaurant, I guess. (And really, I wonder just how much of their business is restaurant vs. how much is prepared/catered meals for pickup, like Thanksgiving or Christmas) So this time, I came a little bit earlier so I wasn't 'bugging' the lone employee preparing for end-of-day closing, and this time chose a warm sandwich (the "Honeybaked"). And yes, both were a good idea, because this was a better sandwich, more of what I would expect from a company that obsesses over ham. That side, by the way, is potato salad that looks awful because the photo was taken with a potato camera, but it was okay. I wouldn't call this a 'redemption' from the first review, but it was an improvement.

Meal Quality: +1.5, going from 4 -> 5.5. Meal Value: (no change), going from 5 -> 5 (out of 10)

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Second Chance Review #57. (Original Review from Day 241): Panera Bread (2241 locations, 48 states)

As god is my witness, I will NEVER EVER understand what people see in Panera. Or EVER saw in Panera. People say they are terrible now, and I say they have been terrible from the very beginning - there was no "golden era" where Panera was a good place to go. Sorry not sorry I cannot be convinced otherwise.

Yet, they are one of the largest restaurant chains in the United States (#12) with over 2000 locations and a dedicated following. I just don't get it. And every single time I've tried them, it's been disappointment city, even with lowered expectations. Expensive bland food at best.

I guess I am a glutton for punishment, because I'm back again to see if somehow Lucy won't pull away the football at the last minute. Again. Unlike the first review where I visited one of their newly-built locations in town with their soulless metal-and-glass "morgue-chic" aesthetic and atmosphere, I chose on of their older locations that still had wood and color interiors from back in the day when they actually wanted customers to stick around.

I went with their "Pick Two" meal, with a 'Roma Asiago Bagel Stack' and a 'Shrimply Baja Salad'. Which...turned out not to be a bad choice. Unlike the sad failures from the first visit, this time they were freshly made and actually had *flavor* to them. It was...not a bad meal. They managed to bring their level of quality up to the bar of "average". Then again, I'm a pushover for anything shrimp, so maybe that's cheating. I'd be good ordering this sandwich again. Still on the pricier side and still not able to beat their competition, though.

Meal Quality: +1, going from 4.5 -> 5.5. Meal Value: +1, going from 3 -> 4 (out of 10)

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More "Second Chance" reviews coming down the line, in addition to the regular reviews! (And no, not every second chance review will be a positive one :))

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Sometimes, it SEEMS like every fast food "Mexican" or "Tex-Mex" restaurant out there has adopted what I call the " Build-a-Burrito" model. It's a very simple and flexible model that allows the customer to make almost anything they want to their exact specifications. First, the customer chooses an entree "format" (burrito, taco, bowl, salad, quesadilla, nachos), then add a choice of protein (if they want), and then an assortment of toppings and sauces, all for a flat price.

The industry leader in the Build-a-Burrito category is, for better or worse, Chipotle, the 7th largest restaurant in the United States with over 4,000 locations. The runners-up aren't even close in size, Qdoba and Moe's with hundreds of locations. But below that, there's a whole ecosystem of local and regional chains that have their own fans, such as Freebird's, Cabo Bob's, Izzo's, Costa Vida, Bullritos, Salsarita, Bubbakoo's, Dos Bros, Hot Head, California Tortilla, Panchero's, Barberito's and more.

Enter Cafe Rio, a Utah-based Build-a-Burrito that has grown to a bit of a Rocky Mountain empire. But they have recently had a bit of a rough patch with complaints of lower quality and slower service, resulting in lower same-store sales last year. So, this year they lured away the CEO of &Pizza, who declared that Cafe Rio had "lost its way", and vowed a return to basics. Which, given the build-a-burrito concept, is pretty much the core to success.

Which brings me to my order of a very simple shredded chicken bowl with veggies. Having already reviewed over a dozen Build-a-Burrito places in this series already, I have a pretty good idea of what makes a good meal: Freshness of the ingredients, and the quality of the meat. Either can kill a good burrito/taco/bowl dead. Dried out ground beef or stringy pork or chicken just sucks in a burrito, and overcooked, wilted, flavorless veggies/toppings just make it worse.

Fortunately for me, Cafe Rio got it spot-on. Good, juicy white-meat chicken on top of rice and beans, with freshly-prepared veggies and salsa, they nailed it. (Not that I had any doubts, I've liked this place going back to the days when it was just a small local place in St. George). Keep it hot, keep it fresh and pay attention to the quality of the meats and you'll always have a winning combination. Other Build-a-Burrito places, take note (I'm looking sus at you, Freebird's).

Coming up next: Winchell's Donut House, Port of Subs, Crave Cookies

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(About this review series: Starting in late 2025, I am visiting a different fast food/fast casual chain every day, until I run out of places to visit. Aiming to review as many chains on the Technomics Top 500 Restaurants list as possible, plus key/important regional and some local chains as well. UPDATE - I will be wrapping up this review series with Day #365. And no, I haven't gained weight, and no, it hasn't hurt my health.)

I ordered an iced coffee from mcds with oat milk and half the sugar caramel sauce but this doesn’t look like it has oat milk, can someone confirm? I was in a drive though and a time crunch so I didn’t go back or inside.

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Did you know that the name "Haagen Dazs" doesn't really mean anything? When the company was created in 1960, they owners wanted to choose a "Danish-sounding" name that portrayed sophistication and class. It's all marketing.

Even so, Haagen Dazs is probably one of the most well known brands of ice cream in America. Or, perhaps in the world, since they have many more locations outside the United States than inside. Also, the majority of their sales are not through ice cream parlors, but through sales in pricy little pints found in food stores. But they still have retail scoop shops as well, where you can get your fix.

This time, I chose an old-fashioned traditional hot-fudge sundae. And, as expected, it tasted quite nice, they do indeed have premium quality ice cream, with smooth and perfectly flavored vanilla. And it was a nice treat since I usually just have ice cream by itself, but without all the added fixin's.

But Haagen Dazs is a prime example of why I have two scores, one for quality and one for value. Because in this silly fast food review I have found plenty of places that taste good, but at a cost. And with Haagen Dazs, oh what a cost that is! This little ice cream sundae of mine cost just a little under FIFTEEN dollars. Yes, you read that right. It's the most expensive ice cream treat I've had, and those who are next-as-expensive aren't even close. No thank you, that's enough price gouging for me.

Coming up next: Cafe Rio Mexican Grill, Winchell's Donut House, Port of Subs

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(About this review series: Starting in late 2025, I am visiting a different fast food/fast casual chain every day, until I run out of places to visit. Aiming to review as many chains on the Technomics Top 500 Restaurants list as possible, plus key/important regional and some local chains as well. UPDATE: This review series is scheduled to wrap up on Day 365. And no, I haven't gained weight, and no, it hasn't hurt my health.)

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Woo-hoo! A "new" barbeque place for me to check out! Well, not really new, since they were founded about two decades ago in the ultra-ritzy resort town of Vail. But new to me, that is. Moe's is not related to Smokey Mo's BBQ, also not related to Moe's Southwest Grill - it's a fast-casual barbeque joint that specializes in "Alabama-style" barbeque - which usually features pork and a mayo-based white sauce. Although I've been to just about every semi-famous BBQ restaurant in Texas, I cannot say I've tried 'Bama-style before.

My choice to try it out was a sausage sandwich "Bama Style", plus normal sides of potato salad and cole slaw. Let's get the sides out of the way first: These tasted light they might as well have been scooped out of some giant Sysco tub. Which means not terrible, but it's never a good sign when a BBQ joint isn't making their own sides.

The sandwich looks like an absolute hot mess. Which is not necessarily a bad thing - it was sloppy as hell with meat everywhere and sauce all over and slaw, slippery and impossible to really eat as a sandwich. And what I discovered is that I wasn't exactly crazy about "Bama-style" - the white sauce was not to my liking. Too sweet. The sausage itself was okay, but bland.

None of these were deal-killers. The deal-killer was the price. The sausage sandwich is usually going to be the cheapest meat and cheapest option on the menu. This combo meal set me back twenty-two smackeroos. Yeah, barbeque is damn expensive these days, but this was not a plate of food worth anywhere near that much.

Coming up next: Haagen-Dasz, Cafe Rio, and Winchell's

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(About this review series: Starting in late 2025, I am visiting a different fast food/fast casual chain every day, until I run out of places to visit. Aiming to review as many chains on the Technomics Top 500 Restaurants list as possible, plus key/important regional and some local chains as well. UPDATE - I will be wrapping up this review series with Day #365. And no, I haven't gained weight, and no, it hasn't hurt my health.)

I know they went away with the chop salads. But this is crazy. Veggies are on bottom, then jammed with lettuce and a layer of in cut cloves of meat and cheese, before a pond of dressing. Yum

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Confession time: I'm glad that this review series will be wrapping up in the not-too-distant future. While there are some fast food and fast casual restaurant chains that have interesting stories, there are also plenty of places that are, well, kinda-not-really-noteworthy, especially when I am not interested in the product in the first place. How many times can I essentially re-write the same paragraphs about places like that?

Enter Feng Cha. Think of it like their larger competitor Gong Cha, or Kung Fu Tea, or Totally Tea - same concept. Serving up variations of milk teas or boba teas or fruity drinks or similar drinks for elevated prices. Feng Cha started out as a single location in the Dallas area with no plans of being more than a single little cafe that "celebrated boba culture", but proved popular enough that they are now growing at a pretty fast clip.

Thing is, I'm not a boba fan. I'm not a milk tea fan. I'm not a matcha fan. The only reason I stepped foot inside this place was for the review series, but never despair, I see dragonfruit on the menu! A dark purple fruity witch's brew looks pretty good...but it takes more than just looks to make a good beverage. This was, well, okay. Not too sweet, but also not very strongly flavored, either. While there is nothing wrong with that in particular, I don't need to go around paying seven bucks for "just okay". The value proposition just isn't there.

Coming up next: Moe's Original BBQ, Haagen-Dazs, and Cafe Rio

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(About this review series: Starting in late 2025, I am visiting a different fast food/fast casual chain every day, until I run out of places to visit. Aiming to review as many chains on the Technomics Top 500 Restaurants list as possible, plus key/important regional and some local chains as well. UPDATE: This review series is scheduled to wrap up on Day 365. And no, I haven't gained weight, and no, it hasn't hurt my health.)

So there I was one day, driving around, looked over at this gas station, and saw the Krispy Krunchy banner. WHAT!? I was sooo happy. Ever since then I have to have it at least once a month. I prefer it over the Cane's. Have you tried Krispy Krunchy?