r/genderqueer • u/MicraInvented • 1d ago
What Gender Am I??
So, I'm bio fem, but recently, I've been feeling more like a man. I don't think I'm fully... not a girl, I guess? But I haven't had any "need to be a boy" thing growing up. As a kid, I liked feeling pretty and wearing dresses. As I got a bit older, I started wearing more masc clothes, though. When I was in either my early teens or approaching that age, I started wondering if I was a trans guy, but just figured that I mostly wanted to be a man, but wasn't one. I think I always liked the idea of being confused for a guy, though, and made an alt account on Roblox where I was a guy, and said "when I'm playing in this account, I am a man." I fr thought I was just really in the roleplay, despite never really getting into roleplay. I haven't been able to quite pinpoint how... masc I am, I guess? Just that right now, I really prefer to be seen as a man, but I don't hate being called a woman. Especially since I haven't told anyone about this since I'm still working through it. So what do you guys think I am?
I'm looking at a more gender neutral name btw. Do you guys like the name Aspen?
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u/Dospunk 1d ago
Hi! Trans woman here! This sounds a lot like my experience growing up. I never hated being seen as a man, but it never felt completely comfortable. I would lie in bed as a kid and wish that I could be a girl just for one day, so I could see what it was like. I didn't think I was a woman. I settled on gender fluid in my early teens because I was like "well I don't always feel like I need to be seen as a woman, sometimes I feel neutral about how I'm seen at all."Â
Then the pandemic happened, and I spent a lot of time with myself. I realized that the feeling wouldn't go away. I started experimenting a little bit with my presentation. 6 years later, I started estrogen. I realized that it "didn't hurt" before because I didn't know anything else. That a lot of the pain I felt was actually gender dysphoria. I've been on hormones for a year and 8 months now. I have never felt more comfortable in my body in my entire life.
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u/MicraInvented 1d ago
This gives a lot of very helpful insight, thank you! Also, glad you like the name :3
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u/Mondonodo 1d ago
Omg very similar to a lot of how I feel! I've had a real weird gender loop-de-loop in my life but yeah, definitely sounds at least genderqueer. Take some more time to figure out what you do and don't like, that's where I'm at rn.
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u/SynthGirl725 1d ago
Hi friend!!! I'm glad you asked because I have no idea either. I don't feel fully female either. I enjoy wearing mens clothes and I have often wondered if I were trans too. But it never felt right.
I want to be a man some days but other days I wanna be a girl. I don't like either other days.
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u/MicraInvented 1d ago
That actually sounds genderfluid! It's switching between genders :3 Hopefully this helps you, or that you figure out who you are just as I am also trying to do!
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u/SynthGirl725 1d ago edited 1d ago
Okay!!! Thank you! That does help me. I've heard of it but I wasn't sure if I fit. Thank you so much 😊
Edit:
Fluidflux/genderqueer!! That's me!
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u/Dancin_Angel 1d ago
I relate to this experience aaaalmost 1:1 (i like being called a man in passing but i dont like being seriously addressed as one, I feel my masculinity is a crucial part of my womanhood). I think youre just starting to discover this part of who you are, so its hard to put into words more.
My only advice is dont force it and let time simmer it in.
Aspen sounds like aspin, which in my country means street dog. Sounds cool ngl
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u/Tough_Act7101 genderflir - they/them - 💖 1d ago
I think you’re conflating dysphoria with transness. I can’t speak for you, but it sounds like being masculine brings you euphoria. So be masculine! Live the way that you feel is right.
Now, you might not just be a man. Gender can be complicated. But you definitely sound transmasc, and you can figure out the specifics in time. You could be some type of nonbinary or a multigender, but the main thing I’ve learned from obsessing over my gender is that comfort only really comes from knowing that my labels express how I feel rather than being a precise scientific label. If you find a label that feels right, run with it! If it’s not working, you can pivot.
Overall, being trans isn’t a simple binary; it’s a spectrum, and it’s hard to find where you fit. Don’t rush it. It’s only a label, so it matters a lot less than you think. Be you! Feel free to reach out again once you understand yourself a little more. Best of luck!