r/germany • u/lukas_brinias Nordrhein-Westfalen • Jun 06 '26
Humour I am now officially a German.
Having read another post, I realized I have had this thing hanging in my toilet for 7 years now. This makes me officially a German, doesn't it?
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u/SunflowerMoonwalk Jun 06 '26
No, you'll officially be German when you rip out your proper light-fittings and throw them in the trash when you move out, leaving the next tenant with just some dangling snipped wires.
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u/Vyncent2 Bayern Jun 06 '26
That's the standard isn't it? 😅 Whenever i moved out of some place, it was mandatory to rip out the light fittings
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u/KreyKat Jun 06 '26
Then you've never been to the Netherlands; there it can happen that you rent an apartment without floor(boards).
Surprise! 😄
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u/OrangePuzzleheaded52 Jun 06 '26
Without floorboards? wtf lol
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u/escalinci Jun 06 '26
I think I've heard of cases like that in Germany, I think a SAGA new build, plus of course people trying to haggling for their old laminate with a new tenant.
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u/Csotihori Niedersachsen Jun 07 '26
I've recently sold two rooms of laminate to the new tenant for 250$.
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u/PapierStuka Jun 06 '26
I had to lay down PVC-flooring, but floor boards are a whole new level haha
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u/Vyncent2 Bayern Jun 06 '26
It happened to me in Germany as well.
We paid for a new floor as tenants to be laid in the living room and bedroom (50m2)
Yoz can either pay for the new floor yourself, let's say in this case it was 2,5k€, or you can pay more rent.
You paid for the floor one time, and it's done, but if you pay higher rent, the rent never gets back down when the new floors are 'paid off'
I know it's difficult when we would move out (like selling the floors to the new tenants or so..) but I like it to be paid off and I like it to be a floor of my choosing you know
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u/onitamack Jun 07 '26
Yeah, unbelievable you have to put your own flooring in. Living in Germany for 5 year...As soon as I got off the airplane to USA Chicago I literally kissed ground with appreciation. In germany you have to pay for the water that comes in and out. So my german roommate didn't flush the toilet ( when I'm gone) to save on the water bill! Yes it stank like hell when i came home from work! Not to mention i take a " un-timed" shower for 15 /20 minutes my roommate times me replying...Thats alot of water you used! Also my roommate refuse to answer the door because he said it's people who come to see if you have television or cable and if so, you get charged ( not sure what that's about) probably a east Berlin/Pankow thing. I didn't have this problem in Dusseldorf oberkassel/ neiderkassel nor Munich.
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u/Propellerrakete Jun 07 '26
Well, you might just have had the worst possible roommate. Usually no one cares that much about water usage (cause water is pretty cheap) and GEZ is not collected at the door and they don't visit to check if you have a TV. If you're registered they get your data and charge for public TV broadcast, that's it. I can assure because I lived in Pankow for more than 30 years. 😁
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u/KokosnussdesTodes Jun 07 '26
Okay that just sounds absolutely weird. Normal Germans aren't like that. Flushing the toilet (even a horribly inefficient one) would use about 14 liters of water. Even with high water and waste water costs (let's say 0.6 cents per liter), it is literally under 10 cents to flush the toilet. And the improvement in life quality it brings with it should absolutely justify that. Wtf.
The GEZ, the media fee for households on the other hand... Yeah, the fee exists, every household has to pay it (unless they are excempt, for reasons like low income) and it is 18,36€ monthly. Or about 218.57 toilet flushings of inefficient toilets with high water cost. The fee exists to fund public media, for example the most-watched news source in Germany, the Tagesschau (it is watched by about 10 million people daily and up to 18 million people in extreme cases). Not answering the door to avoid that fee is a bit extreme, I think, but hey 218 flushings are 218 flushings.
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u/justinteressted420 Jun 07 '26
I'd never renovate a rental apartment myself. Your roommate sounds extremely weird, because Rundfunkgebühren are not collected or registered by looking if the inhabitants have a TV. Who wants to live in a stinky apartment because he wants to safe a few cents (and at the same time showering with hot water for 15-20min)...
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u/SunflowerMoonwalk Jun 06 '26
In Germany, yeah. (And apparently the Netherlands.) Elsewhere - no, absolutely not - if it's skrewed down it stays!
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u/shrockitlikeitshot Jun 06 '26
Lol, finally the USA has something on you Europeans, it's illegal in many states for landlords or renters to remove any blinds or light fixtures, (I think appliances like stoves and refrigerators have to be agreed on etc.).
This makes it less of an investment to move in and less work to move out. Though you guys probably have better renter protections on average.
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u/Vyncent2 Bayern Jun 06 '26
Finally you got something 😜
So let's talk about kitchens.
In Germany you bring your own, and you have remove it once you move out.
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u/Tobi97l Jun 06 '26
That's why I am glad I found an apartment that comes with a floor and kitchen. It makes moving in and out so much easier.
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u/Long_River_4395 Jun 06 '26
To be fair, it’s also illegal (or just not a thing) anywhere in Europe except Germany and Netherlands. It’s just such a scandalous thing to do, accept, and make the norm
Especially in a country where EVERYTHING is strictly regulated…buuuut not housing🙄5
u/NeighBae Jun 06 '26
We went the entire time(2 years) in our last apartment with no overhead lights because the previous tenant took them when they left. I prefer lamps or ambient lights anyway, so not the biggest deal.
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u/hissen_raii Jun 06 '26
I just stored the bulbs that were installed there previously and installed some Ikea fixtures where having a bulb dangling was inconvenient. When I move out, I can always restore everything to how it was before I moved in -- though I'll have to patch a few holes in the ceiling.
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u/radionul Jun 09 '26
Meanwhile in Sweden, homes are built with industrial-grade built-in ceiling light hooks and special ceiling light electrical sockets.
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u/JEY1337 Jun 06 '26
All my rooms do have one of these for 2 years now. Ffs. .
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u/lukas_brinias Nordrhein-Westfalen Jun 06 '26
Do you at least remember buying them? Because I don't. They just showed up.
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u/JEY1337 Jun 06 '26
They have to be some kind of family relic. My brother gave them to me, and he got them while building his house. So I don't know either where they are from. They just spawn...
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u/Halschmuber Jun 07 '26
Corridor and living room, still have exactly the lights as it's pictured here, even after 18 years living here.
I only use above lights when i need to see shit i.e vacuuming
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u/Aggressive_Ocelot664 Jun 06 '26
Careful with those exposed wires.
Being electrocuted really hertz.
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u/chris_trans Jun 06 '26
You couldn't resist the pun eh.
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u/textposts_only Jun 06 '26
I know you just wanted to make the joke but the only exposed wire is the "Erdungskabel" which is the grounding which doesn't hold a charge.
I'd be willing to suckle on it like a drunk baby hedgehog and nothing would happen to me.
Much more dangerous are metallic lamps / Metall Fassungen that are not grounded as I've seen numerous times. Many people just see the two cables they can connect and just dangle the grounding cable without fixing it and that would really hertz.
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u/AppealSame4367 Jun 07 '26
*Grounding doesn't hold a charge if nobody fucked up the installation. To survive until 60+ years you should assume someone fucked up and Grounding holds a charge.
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u/dimap443 Jun 06 '26
Is having a shitty lightbulb wiring a German thing?
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u/M4hkn0 Jun 06 '26
German living spaces typically are not transferred with lighting intact. The previous occupant takes their lighting... all of it... and cabinets too... with them. It was an adjustment as an American living in Germany.
I have to buy my own ceiling lights?... and cabinets? and then I am expected to take them with me when I move out? wtf lol...
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u/Feisty_Camera_7774 Jun 06 '26
And the entire kitche 😭
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u/Thehealthygamer Jun 06 '26
I really don't get the kitchen thing. Moving is hard enough now you want to move an entire kitchen?? Why??
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u/chowderbags Bayern (US expat) Jun 06 '26
Especially because there's a decent chance that it won't even fit in whatever new place you get.
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u/SwarvosForearm_ Jun 06 '26
Most Germans don't enjoy it or anything, but it's a circle of hell.
You move into an apartment without a kitchen - so you buy one, and it costs you at least multiple thousand dollars.
Then you move after 2 years, so are you just going to waste that load of money by not taking it with you? Of course not.
Landlords are happy about it too, because they don't need to provide you a kitchen and have responsibility if something breaks. I don't think this will ever change, unless a law is passed that landlords must provide kitchens.
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u/MisterGreen123 Jun 07 '26
I don't think this will ever change, unless a law is passed that landlords must provide kitchens.
I would actually hate that. Because then id have to live with some shitty landlord kitchen?! Can i rip it out and install my own? If yes, do i need to keep the landlords one? I think buying your own is no much easier and nicer
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u/Coneskater Hamburg Jun 07 '26
It has to do with how "permanent" renting is in Germany.
Although this is gradually changing, many Germans have traditionally spent most or all of their lives in rental housing. In contrast, in many other countries renting is often seen as a temporary stage before buying a home.
If you expect to live somewhere for 20 years or more, it makes sense to want your own kitchen layout, appliances, and fixtures. If you're only planning to stay for two or three years, however, that level of customization can seem absurd.
That's why many newer apartments, especially those aimed at younger professionals, now come with fitted kitchens (Einbauküche or EBK). However, many of the cheaper apartments still do not include a kitchen. This often comes as a surprise to foreigners renting their first apartment in Germany.
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u/Reenigav Jun 06 '26
I like having a hob, oven, sink, dishwasher, and fridge that I enjoy using.
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u/MidorriMeltdown Lost Australian Jun 07 '26
I can see the logic in that. I've lived in several houses in regional Australia where the stove was a... I guess you could call it a landlord special. The cheapest electric freestanding thing that was extremely inefficient, in 3 different rental properties.
I got a single induction hob just so I could control the heat.
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u/Csotihori Niedersachsen Jun 07 '26
Because kitchens are expensive as hell. I dragged my whole kitchen into three separate houses with me. Nobody would pay for it more than a couple hundred, but then I have to spend thousands just to get a new one
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u/bopthoughts Nordrhein-Westfalen Jun 06 '26
Or they forve you to pay 1k for everything or else they'll just give the Wohnung to someone else
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u/floare_salbatica Jun 06 '26
Yep. I had to call the Stadtreinigung to come and take my bed and wardrobe when I moved out. I was both impressed and saddened by how fast they dismembered everything.
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u/atrawog Jun 06 '26
Your making progress. But your unconnected ground cable still looks like a blatant violation of the DIN VDE 0100-410 regulations regarding mandatory protection against electric shocks.
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u/user_of_the_week Jun 06 '26
I thought the yellow green cable‘s purpose is to make an impromptu hook to hang the lamp onto ;)
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u/atrawog Jun 06 '26
No it's whole purpose is that your having extra fun if you want to wire your own Doppelwechselschalter.
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u/harimbadl Jun 06 '26
I wanna see you connect the ground with
??whaaat?? Do you know how to use a ground cable and why we have a ground? 😂🧐😅
Please dont try to be smarter as you are!
If you are a cook dont touch electric if you are a lawyer dont touch electrics if you are …. Dont touch electrics!
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u/harimbadl Jun 06 '26
Ask your father he will tell you! But i can tell you your father did it right!
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u/nikoe99 Jun 06 '26
Since its all plastic on the outside, its protection class 2 and doesnt need a ground connection
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u/Wischiwaschbaer Jun 06 '26
Most light fixtures don't even have a place to connect it. It's not mandatory for lights.
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u/LongBright2513 Jun 06 '26
Wie viele Deutsche braucht man, um eine Glühbirne einzudrehen? Einen. Wir sind effizient und haben keinen Humor.
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u/hazouum Jun 07 '26
You are officially a german when you make a Termin with yourself on the Kalender to fix it
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u/DisturbedCherrytree Nordrhein-Westfalen Jun 07 '26
One of us, one of us!
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u/lukas_brinias Nordrhein-Westfalen Jun 07 '26
This made me genuinely laugh 😅
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u/DisturbedCherrytree Nordrhein-Westfalen Jun 07 '26
I love to make people laugh!
Oh you are a fellow NRWler! Hi from Düsseldorf :)
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u/DrPossumlady Jun 06 '26
Nothing lasts longer than a temporary solution Nichts hält länger als ein Provisorium!
Welcome to Germany!
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u/_QLFON_ Baden-Württemberg Jun 06 '26
That’s a first step. To be really a German you need to show us how you cook without a EBK for 3 months:)
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u/NobodyUwilleverNo Jun 06 '26
you are not officially german until you get a gez bill addressed to you.
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u/lukas_brinias Nordrhein-Westfalen Jun 07 '26
I am getting them from 'ARD ZDF Deutschlandradio Beitragsservice'. The 'Gebühreneinzugszentrale' has been renamed in 2013.
I'm so proud of myself for having corrected you. Most German thing I have done all day! 😅
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u/__CRA__ Jun 06 '26
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
One. We are efficient and have no sense of humor.
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u/mister_moods Jun 06 '26
Yeah, you're some kind of "fresh german" now. As a real german, I have one of those in my kitchen, my bathroom and my "office" (where the computer is) for 22 years now. You need to level up to become a senior. 🤣
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u/cleanshotVR Jun 06 '26
Well, here in Norddeutschland, I have heard this as Russischer Kronleuchter (russian chandelier). Not everyone calls it that, but I think that doesn't bode well for your citisenship.
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u/floare_salbatica Jun 06 '26
The light in my bedroom looked exactly like this when I used to live in Germany. Is this Hamburg by any chance? 🤣
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u/Historical-Pound-510 Jun 06 '26
This is most likely staying for years if not for eternity :)
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u/onitamack Jun 07 '26
More officially like a Berliner, I'm from Chicago when I moved to berlin I saw so many light bulbs hanging out of ceiling.
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u/Critical-Setting-750 Jun 07 '26
I thought this was just a latin american thing lol, my cables look the same
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u/Low-Fondant-9725 Jun 07 '26
German here, had the same solutions for years now in my room and kitchen as well. Welcome to the club :)
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u/Katz_Martinez Baden-Württemberg Jun 07 '26
Hahaha bro i live in a studio apartment and have the same bulb in my main room
The only light bulb hanging lmao
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u/15pmm01 Bayern Jun 07 '26
…what? I’ve never seen such a thing in Germany. In Bulgaria, however, yep! Everywhere. Hardly a single proper light fixture to be found. So I always thought of this as more of a Balkan thing.
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u/tatDK94 Jun 07 '26
Is that installation up to code (not thinking of the user mounted light bulb and its holder, but the wires just coming straight out of the ceiling - the part that would be installed by an electrician when it was built)? In Denmark, it would have to be terminated in a ceiling box with a cover. The user could then connect their lamp’s wires to terminals inside the box. Having wires just coming straight out of the ceiling without an electrical box would cause it to fail an inspection.
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u/Grejba Jun 07 '26
It was fun to realize that this approach is called polish chandelier in Berlin as a Pole.
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u/No-Bake-730 Jun 06 '26
Wasting an immense amount of copper just like dead?
Let's stone him and feed him to the wolfs!
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u/lukas_brinias Nordrhein-Westfalen Jun 06 '26
The tension is real: part of me wants to correct you, citing DIN and VDE standards.
The other one is just accepting the fact that I have been a wasteful little German and need to spend more time sorting my trash.
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u/Izzyrion_the_wise Jun 06 '26
Am I not German now if the first thing after moving in was install lights. Well, after painting.
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u/DocHoliday1989 Jun 06 '26
I habe at least 10 of them laying around somewhere in my House. My Goal was to replace all of them with real lamps and i did
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u/backafterdeleting Jun 06 '26
If you buy the light fixtures from ikea that come together with the lamp shades they tell you exactly how to install them but it does mean you have drill into the ceiling put in a hook usually
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u/Dr_Penisof Jun 06 '26
Ah yes, the Russian chandelier / Russischer Kronleuchter. A tasteful and appealing choice for every new apartment.
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u/Schnatterbox Jun 06 '26
Me too. I have a couple around the house and I don’t even notice them anymore.
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u/Visual-Working2894 Jun 06 '26
I don't use something like that and I am german😅 my ceiling lamp is a square with Led in it xd
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u/F_H_B Jun 07 '26
I have this in my flat since I moved in 20 years ago and now that I have a house I have it there as well 😄
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u/Gammeloni Jun 07 '26
Then Turkey is Germany lol. I live in Turkey and my house is just like that for years.
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u/loyal_comride Jun 07 '26
I'm Dutch and I moved to Emmerich 7 months ago and none of the rooms in my apartment have a proper lightning installation. I just use four night stand lamps for lightning lmao
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u/Actual-Rest-9469 Jun 07 '26
It is funny my storage room is just like this. Officially german as well
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u/Long_Strange_TripZ Jun 07 '26
This behavior is frustrating. Why spend the time to remove a light fixture that you either use or otherwise throw away. Just leave it there and buy a new one if necessary. This also extends to the German behavior to remove a whole kitchen. If I move into an apartment, I expect at least lights and a kitchen.
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u/Lelu_zel Jun 07 '26
You are not german unless youve moisture all over your walls and windows, because germans can’t into proper ventilation
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u/Touchofgrey54 Jun 07 '26
When I viewed our home to rent, I asked the landlord about having no light fixture’s from the ceiling, just wiring. He said “just get lamps for the rooms” and I said that will not work. We returned to sign the contract, and he hung bulbs. 3 years later and we still have this instead of fixtures 😂. It doesn’t bug me because it’s only our temporary home for one more year.
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u/Fuzzy_Gap9532 Jun 07 '26
I would disagree. You are using a white light, replace that with an extremely dim yellow light bulb. 😉
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u/Pretty_Secretary_498 Jun 07 '26
Für mich sieht das eher nach Frankreich, Polen, Ungarn, Aserbaidschan usw. aus
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u/Joltz-Voltz Jun 07 '26
Omg I feel so much better about having this now, have had it for 2+ years and every few months I think about doing something about it 😂
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u/StriderKeni Nordrhein-Westfalen Jun 08 '26
I thought I was the only one 😂 and feeling bad for having them like that for years…
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u/Astronaut_1980 Jun 08 '26
So richtig Deutsch erst dann, wenn die Lampe mindestens ein Jahr hängen bleibt 😂
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u/Tornik Jun 08 '26
Do you have incredibly intimidating metal shutters that slam down over your windows though?
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u/OminousZib Jun 08 '26
You need to take your neighbour to court for chewing too loud before you are a true German... ;)
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u/OldenburgerInBayern Jun 08 '26
Welcome! Ours is 3m next to me (currently on toilet) in the hallway ^ I even got a substitute but we figured out that this light is more comfortable and changed it back. Another new light just got moved into the basement 3 days ago .
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u/BratacJaglenac Jun 09 '26
Some Ikea lights are light enough to hang on those wires, without drilling.
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u/RalfWilliam-rbc-de Jun 09 '26
It’s the minimalistic art lamp or:
A light sculpture reduced to its essential elements, placing the bulb itself at the center of attention.
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u/Key_Apartment5049 Jun 09 '26
Haha in med school I never met people in my life that smoked more than medical students or doctors
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u/True_Breakfast_3790 Jun 06 '26 edited Jun 06 '26
I didn't know that this is stereotypical for us but... I know a highly professional electrician that lived with this type of solution for years. Basically the whole house was like this