r/glasgow • u/strawberryvolvic32 • 1d ago

place in public to meet someone for a serious/emotional discussion

hey, so i haven’t spoken to my mum in about 2 years, she’s recently reached out looking to reconcile and i’m open to giving her the chance, but i don’t want her knowing where i live, so ill need to meet her in public, im imagining it’ll be a pretty personal, emotional and difficult conversation so i need to go somewhere that’s private and quiet enough to have that sort of thing, but im really drawing a blank on where to go, does anyone have any suggestions?

38 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

39 comments sorted by

209

u/South-Bug-4281 1d ago

Go for a walk, difficult conversations are often easier when side by side instead of face to face, and by walking you get that bubble of privacy around you.

Good luck.

57

u/_horizontal_ 1d ago

Yeah, pick up a nice takeaway coffee / hot chocolate and go for a walk round a park. Very disarming way of having a frank discussion IMO

81

u/Bitter-Comedian-1690 1d ago

And you can fuck your drink at them if they’re being a cunt!

33

u/Euphoric_Ad_2049 1d ago

Maybe don't go axe throwing

34

u/MediocreEquipment457 1d ago

Agree with this.

Also means there’s no bill to settle so if she turns up and starts the same shite that made you walk away from her in the first place it makes it very easy to just get out of there

25

u/strawberryvolvic32 1d ago

do you think there’s a risk of it being a bigger scene if we’re in public and she kicks off? i really think her going on a transphobic tirade at me in the middle of kelvingrove isn’t good for anyone

74

u/SatisfactionIll8468 1d ago

It's easier to walk away if you're outside.

27

u/RestaurantAntique497 1d ago

And also easier if you don't need to settle a bill somewhere if you're sitting down

-10

u/Peng_City 1d ago

I understand what you mean. But - sorry if I'm doom-mongering - it's not necessarily easier to walk away in a park if the other party doesn't want the conversation/argument to end. Obviously I hope nothing quite so drastic happens.

3

u/SheWalksonRainbows 1d ago

So what's your suggestion?

1

u/Peng_City 1d ago

Don't really have one. Don't know OP or their mother. Just trying to help think through the pros and cons of different options. Park sounds alright, although it's not particularly private, which is one of the things OP said they were looking for.

22

u/ASubtleEmphaticShift 1d ago

I come from a family of dramatics and let me assure you not even the worst of us have ever kicked off in a park surrounded by other people. The vast majority of people will not want to cause a scene or risk being judged by total strangers. And you know that if you do agree to meet her in Kelvingrove you can escape in multiple directions if needed. Plus you can ask a friend to hover around in the background/behind the shrubbery to keep an eye out for you if you need to get away from her.

13

u/Peng_City 1d ago edited 1d ago

My mum went ballistic at my sister last year in KG. It was so bad, my sister threatened never to speak to my mum again.

Dunno if that's any help to OP. I think the park suggestion is a good one probably. But it depends on the individuals, whether there's any risk of a serious row. At least in a café/pub you can quickly leave the place you're in, or ask staff for a hand if needed.

21

u/StonedPhysicist too bad, too bad. 1d ago

I mean if she's liable to make a scene and you want passers-by on your side about transphobia, make it Queens Park rather than Kelvingrove! Plus plenty of decent places nearby to recharge your batteries in case of bullshit.

Seriously though, look after yourself and hope it goes as well as possible.

4

u/ayeImur 1d ago

I would think the chances of that would be less in a public place, i doubt she would want to cause a public scene

5

u/StrongerTogether2882 1d ago

Unless she’s one of those people who thrives on attention, even the negative kind. 😬 Good luck, OP.

4

u/Careless_Instance_37 1d ago

Do you have someone who could come with you but stay behind? Just some extra support if you end up needing it even if that support is just for someone to walk away with you

2

u/RvstandRvin1626 1d ago

Easier to just turn heel and leave her where she is having a tantrum if you're in a park. Much worse if you were sitting in the art gallery trying to have a coffee with her and she boots off.

2

u/jeszyuol 10h ago

Do you have someone you can have nearby who can step in if there’s an issue? If you’re worried about her kicking off, that might be an option. Like, agree that they turn up after an hour or something like that? Or say you’re meeting someone?

Also, can you set a time limit if you’re worried about her causing a scene? I didn’t speak to my mum for ten years and I remember the first time I responded to her attempt at reconciliation, we met in a cafe near my work on my lunch break. It didn’t go well, so the time limit was a good excuse to just leave.

Whatever you do though, wishing you all the luck and love. These things are so hard ❤️

37

u/DrinkSuperb8792 1d ago

Walk around a park. Glasgow Green, Kelvingrove, Pollok Park, take your pick based on location.

11

u/CautiousCranberry439 19h ago

Are you in a city? Botanic gardens are always a shout. Lots of walking paths and things to do after if you make up so it’s not an awkward wave goodbye. A little pensive stroll with the plants

2

u/CautiousCranberry439 19h ago

Sorry just saw this was the Glasgow sub- obv a city

9

u/__OvejaNegra 1d ago

I think you could probably use The Nook on Wilson street for this. They have private rooms, booths with doors and booths that are half closed off.

4

u/seoras13 1d ago

So where like kelvingrove gallery earlier in the day, a church/chapel when there isn't a service/mass on, if the weather's dry a park

6

u/Eastern_Crab9989 1d ago

I rented out a room in a community centre when I was in a similar situation. It cost 17 quid and worth every penny.

12

u/Objective_Most4071 1d ago

Just to pump the brakes a sec, is meeting in person the best first step?

If you're that concerned about it getting out of hand, surely a quick call is the better option before you commit to meeting in person? It's both the safest and most private way to re-engage.

3

u/TwaddleSpouter 1d ago

What about the cafe at the far end of Kelvingrove? Get a drink to walk around with.

6

u/Babaychumaylalji 1d ago

Hiya OP before meeting in person maybe consider getting a throwaway sim card first(so your mum doesn't know your real number) and speaking as a an audio call or video call over something like WhatsApp. If you feel you can trust her then and only then consider meeting in a park so if u feel she is gaslighting you or up to her old tricks u can walk away. Try and choose a park furthest away from where u live and use public transport so she won't recognise your vehicle if u have one. Best wishes and good luck to you OP

2

u/potholesaredarkholes 20h ago

As a few people have said, if you have not spokenin a while then maybe l would look into a phone call or video call, that way you can discuss safely and exit easily if needed, it may also allow you to set boundaries for a face to face discussion?

Failing that, I'd maybe look to somewhere that has a quieter corner to talk, though you can easily exit if needed, and where staff are supportive.

I noticed you mentioned your mum and transphobia, so maybe an inclusive coffee shop or bar?

I'd maybe look at Social hub, you can get a coffee and it is a big space to get a quiet enough space to chat, and staff are very inclusive, although it is a general space so if there are issues with your mum's views it is not as such, and LGBTQ+ space. I've had a few catch ups there and it's good for this kind of stuff.

2

u/meyeusername 18h ago

What about early evening at the James McCune Smith Learning Hub on University Avenue? - It's generally quiet at that time, and it's free. There are cafes if you want a coffee or a snack, but there's also free water, and security guards - lots of seating options and easy access to public transport.

It's wonderful that you're open to reconciliation but please stay safe, and don't accept any bullshit or emotional blackmail.

-25

u/Enamuras 1d ago

DM me if you want the use of my Living room and kitchen. Ok flat on Duke Street. Neutral for you both and private.

17

u/Bitter-Comedian-1690 1d ago

I know you mean well, but it still sounds weird as fuck!

6

u/Enamuras 1d ago

Nae problem with being honest. I've got missing brother and other relatives. Get it. It's an offer. Better than a park in the pissing rain. So, I sit in the pub across the road. It's no like anyone is gonna steal my telly. Neutral space, dead easy. Say it's your pals house.

1

u/Humble_Flow_3665 15h ago

For your own safety, please don't offer your home to strangers on the internet. You've no idea who's behind these profiles. C'mon man.