I feel like I escaped a loop hole

[u/Realistic_Advice1890]

Ive been in college for two months and I feel like I have changed and matured so much throughout those months. But because of this, I have been thinking a lot about the social aspect of college and just seeing everybody else around me. Before college, I felt like I missed out a lot in high school. I felt like you had to be popular to truly enjoy high school and that’s all I cared about. I thought being popular was the way you truly enjoyed life. I thought that was the way everybody was going to like you, the way girls would like you, and the way you get invited to parties. I guess I was popular in high school in a way but I never really got invited to parties in high school or really had that many friends in high school. I always felt left out and pretty much sat alone in the library during lunch. I didn’t want to feel like this in college and I felt like that college would be a fresh start for me. Nobody from my grade was going to the same college as me so I was the only one going. I had dreams of partying all the time, being in a frat, getting laid, having tons of friends, etc (i obviously knew that I was also going to school for an education). But once I got there, a lot of stuff just didn’t happen. I hated my orientation as a lot of people just felt fake and didn’t care about me at all. I started to have second thoughts on the school and was wondering if this was the place for me but I knew that it would be. Sadly, nothing really has changed for the better at the time. My roommate wasn’t in the dorm all that often so I never really had the chance to do anything with him to try and meet other people. My floor was super quiet and it was hard trying to make friends on my floor until one day, I picked up a few packages and a few drunk girls invited me up to the top floor. I absolutely loved it at first, I enjoyed going up there but I didn’t realize that I was being played. I would always get high when I hang out with them but then I realized that I was getting played. I thought people were laughing with me but they were laughing at me and as the days went by, the less and less people started to care about me and the more I’ve been alone. So the last option was rushing a frat cause I thought that was the best way to make friends. Rush was super hard and it felt like a lot of the brothers didn’t care about me either. I was really normal but they didn’t care at all so I got no bids. So yeah, I basically hung out with absolutely nobody. I then later moved out of my double to a single somewhere else and I love it. However, because I’ve been alone for so long, I started to see how most people act here. I started to see that most people only want to get drunk, get high, get laid, hookup and nothing more and it’s really sad honestly. It’s super hard to find a genuine person here because they are overshadowed by people like that. A lot of guys act nonchalant and all act the exact same and I don’t understand why all the girls love that and then later repost how they hate men. I don’t know, I feel like my life just woke up and now I’m seeing other people live a life through temporary happiness. I hate it. I don’t even want to touch a beer anymore. I might just transfer to some place better because I learned that this just isn’t the way. I’m sorry I typed a lot but fuck I’ve been thinking a lot for the past month and I just wanted to express how I was feeling