r/invercargill • u/Mean_Zombie_565 • 9d ago
Im like 20 now
I turned 20 2 days ago and fuck im having one of those moments where I reflect and im not sure im happy with how things are i mean I got lots of cool stuff and reasons to be happy im trying not to be ungrateful but my job sucks im still single I come home wake up work repeat I know by no means is this a unique struggle but fuck does it suck
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u/fork_spoon_fork 9d ago
Save up and travel the fuck out of invers.
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u/Mean_Zombie_565 9d ago
This place does fucking suck
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u/Adeathwish95 8d ago
I left Invers around your age and haven't been back. No regrets, highly recommend
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u/magicalmacic 9d ago
Always keen to make new friends if your ever wanting to make some, im 21 and was the same last year but it came right with time
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u/Audreaya 9d ago
Hey OP, Are you making enough money to save and set aside some ? Save money (even if you avoid eating out for a while) .
Invest in Kiwisaver(earlier you add to your fund the more time you have to grow it). I just bring up money because if you can set aside some you can look forward and be motivated with goals like a car, house(or others) in the future.
Do you have many hobbies to destress when you're not working? It can give something else to occupy your mind. On and off I watch lots of youtube(docos) and xbox a lot but have other hobbies to keep busy. You may of thought all this, wishing you the best OP, the weather is fining up nicely maybe a walk around the block can make you feel better, if you get really burnt out take a sick day off work.
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u/Glum-Suggestion9239 8d ago
I am in INV next week for work. Let me know if you wanna grab a dinner (on the house) and talk through it. Btw I am twice your age :)
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u/definitlynottheone 9d ago
I bought a PC and a racing sim and I'm pretty happy maybe you could do the same and just put yourself out there for the dating thing that's the only stuff I can recommend
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u/Mean_Zombie_565 9d ago
I've actually been thinking that but like I already have a fast car so
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u/definitlynottheone 9d ago
Yea its just good cause you don't gotta pay for gas or risk getting arrested or crashing
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u/Mean_Zombie_565 9d ago
Crashing sometimes is the hope but not paying for gas would be nice plus playing around with faster cars actually I already got vr I could do that mixed reality stuff
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u/ghetafix 7d ago
Does Teretonga do race days? Invers sucks ball’s but if your stuck there and “have a fast car” go talk to them, it’s been 40 years since I was a kid running around Teretonga with all the other drivers kids, ahh them the days…..
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u/Aggressive_Celery767 9d ago
That is a tough space to be in. You have been given some good advice, reach out to professionals if you do feel like you are going to harm yourself. Trying to find a hobby that sparks some joy can be tough but it is fun exploring what might be your thing. I am 40, single, I have raised my kids, they are adults now, and I live in the middle of nowhere. It is a struggle but the small moments make it worth while.
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u/Mean_Zombie_565 9d ago
Yea i know i have options im not just gonna ignore people actually looking out for me that would be pretty shitty of me but as a child I went through those systems and they never worked so I am hesitant to spend money on something that hasn't worked for me in the past
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u/Aggressive_Celery767 9d ago
That is absolutely understandable. Maybe some alternative therapies might be a better fit. I have personally found hypnosis an amazing tool. It can be done in your own home, it is cheap and available whenever it suits you. If you want to learn more about it I am happy to give you more information 😊
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u/Mean_Zombie_565 9d ago
The most therapeutic thing i do is drive go the beach at midnight and just cry sometimes it actually helps a lot
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u/Ok_Piglet9349 8d ago
Try Awarua Bay (down by Tiwai, town side of the bridge is a good view of there and Bluff) and watch them zipping about the wharf. You can go skip some stones too for a brain break. Or on a better day, get a combo from maccas and take a mate and some good music.
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u/Audreaya 9d ago
Hey OP depending on what's happened in your life, look into ACC and sensitive claims or such. You can actually get therapy fully funded through ACC it's worth checking out.
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u/Mean_Zombie_565 9d ago
I appreciate the concern truly it has been a while since another human being cared in some way but I make more than enough im not struggling financially or physically just mentally and even then im fine just unhappy and discontent
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u/ghetafix 7d ago
Your doctor can refer you to Counselling - it’s free, it’s not a therapist but it’s still taking, helping and are registered
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u/Spirited-Warthog8978 9d ago
It's because you are bored. Do something crazy and don't worry about consequences. Also get a new wardrobe and try talking in an Italian accent all the time.
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u/oggyburu 8d ago
There is something beyond life. If you don't mind, try to go to the shore (if there is), look at to the horizon, and reflect back by asking "What is life?"
Believe me, things just distract you for a while, things can't make you happy.
If you don't believe the existence of God, well, at this time, maybe, you can try to ask in your most being, what are you really need?
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u/Ok_Piglet9349 8d ago
Yikes... this looks like what was in my head a decade ago.
As someone that stayed.... find something elsewhere and go for it. You can always come back if it doesnt work out or you hate it, but you cant relive your youth. I spend too much of my quiet time sighing and wishing I had done it differently before I had responsibilities here.
If not NZ, the rest of the world is just a flight away.
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u/The_Queens_BambiT 8d ago
I grew up here, left for a few years over high school time (not my decision) and then come back. I'm much older now and I am still here. To me, it sounds like you need a goal or two. They don't have to be super massive but something that gets you excited and maybe out of bed in the morning. Are you into travel? Want to buy a house? Want a particular car or motorbike? Working towards things that excite you can make a difference.
Aside from work, do you have any hobbies or enjoy doing things out of work? They can help make the mundane days a little more bearable if you look forward to social cricket on Wednesday nights, bowls on Sundays, video games on rainy evenings or even starting a little garden this summer or whatever floats your boat. You might meet a life partner with something in common this way.
Don't worry about being single either. You've got all the time to work out what you enjoy doing before merging your situation with someone else.
Even though I am almost twice your age, if your work hard towards what you want, it can be life changing.
Invercargill is an affordable place to build your life. All the best.
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u/ohnoimrunningoutofle 9d ago
You’re worth everything and more mate. I’m about to turn 30, and I feel like this every other day too. Your twenties are a huge growing period. It’s important to be around people who love you, and to not beat yourself up too much about things you can’t control. Better days are coming
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u/1000yearsdungeon 9d ago
You gotta get some little joys in your life and focus on those. Doesn’t even have to be that big, maybe a lil snack you like or a funny movie you like. Find those little joys and hold them.
Work always sucks unfortunately, don’t let the number get you down. Im much older than you and I can relate still