Looked it up, apparently there was a line of toys from 2020 that came with baby bottle and pacifier accessories that served as choking hazards and caused the deaths of two very young children and ended up causing a recall of millions of toys. Which is genuinely horribly tragic, but I’m also kinda baffled as to why one of those was ever given to a nine month old in the first place
not just a recall, it fucked up how calico critters are gonna be in the US from now on and if you try and import the real things they can get straight up seized by customs lol
I was happy until i got home and my asscheeks felt like i had a rash and took the hottest most sanitizing shower ive ever had then remembered that was probably why there was no one else in the theater and why they were doing renovations.
it isn't the exaaaaaaact same, but check out hard drive. it's basically the onion for video games and it's a spin off of hard times, which is the onion for alt/punk/emo music lol
They're great because it's very evident that whoever writes them either actually understands and appreciates baseball or did enough research to make appropriate references
“READING, PA—Saying the snot-nosed brat sure as hell better not expect any damn frankincense or myrrh, sources confirmed Friday that a bullshit newborn wasn’t even Jesus Christ, the Son of God. “There’s not a fucking chance this useless goddamn baby is going to die for our sins,” said the child’s uncle Brandon Lowrey, explaining that beyond being born in a hospital instead of a manger, the absolute disgrace of an infant wasn’t actually a boy at all, but in fact a girl. “I bet this little shit isn’t even related to God, let alone a direct relative. I should have known when I didn’t see a single Star of Bethlehem shining above that twerp to beckon wise men from the East. That dumbass baby couldn’t redeem a ham sandwich.” Lowrey added that the good-for-nothing child’s mother was no virgin either.”
I have several of their compilation books that I probably bought back in the mid 2000s. The articles can be phenomenal, but as Shakespeare said, brevity is the soul of wit.
Maybe I’ll dig one out and take a photo or two to share.
Man I really empathize with article four. I used to be the only six in the office, a seven when my hair cooperated, and I was there with a bunch of fours.
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u/AwkwardLeopard587 14d ago