r/lovethissmug • • 6d ago

miscellaneous Action figures that are just middle aged men

I find it funny to imagine kids playing with a regular dude
(I know the MF DOOM one doesn't really count)

8.2k Upvotes

318 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/Wrong-Mouse-6499 Chinese PvZ Comics Guy (also Soyspeare) 6d ago

140

u/3Thirty-Eight8 6d ago edited 5d ago

Wisest financial decision of my life

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233

u/Femcel_Bambi 6d ago

He looks like an uncle trying to hit on 20 something year old women on the annual family holiday.

51

u/s0ftcustomer 6d ago

This feels like an Aqua Teen Hunger Force bit

53

u/ThePilate 6d ago

"...Oooooohhh, I'm jigglin!"

9

u/roses-are-lead 6d ago

Good ol Jiggle Billy

82

u/MisterDutch93 6d ago

Funny thing about that ‘action figure’ is that it legit has a pretty good mold for something that’s worth only $20. Best joke item I ever bought for a birthday lol

5

u/Wboy2006 5d ago

Yeah, I got the smaller version for 7 bucks, and I'm honestly really impressed by the detail in the sculpt. The articulation is pretty disappointing, but the sculpt genuinely feels really high detail and almost on the level of something like a marvel legends or Star Wars black series. The detail in the hair and beard is genuinely kinda insane

26

u/Manufactured-Aggro 6d ago

"Middle aged" jables is nearly 60 years old, he us a retirement aged man

8

u/perton 6d ago

Damn, Kickapoo really was a long-ass fuckin’ time ago.

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16

u/WallyBBunny 6d ago

The other middle aged man doll from Aqua Teen:

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12

u/Chezmonger95 6d ago

I actually have it

10

u/Wrong-Mouse-6499 Chinese PvZ Comics Guy (also Soyspeare) 6d ago

how is it?

35

u/Chezmonger95 6d ago

well made actually, everything moves really smoothly, it's just a regular action figure but it's an overweight middle aged man instead of superman or whatever

6

u/Arek_PL 6d ago

knit it a small little santa costume and you get santa action figure :D

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1.1k

u/Hugh_Jidiot 6d ago

The Simpons' Al Gore action figure

https://giphy.com/gifs/xT5LMrmB8cWXG4Pa6Y

255

u/Zlobisak 6d ago

How despicable, even the Simpsons have fallen to the onslaught of AI, and not just any AI slop, but AI gore? We used to be a country.

77

u/notsoaverage777 6d ago

I heard they used a different kind of Al instead of a normal one. You can even say it's a weird Al

649

u/Public-Feedback5016 6d ago

My mark ruffalo action figure

123

u/favicondotico 6d ago

Why does he have a six-pack in his crotch?

56

u/roses-are-lead 6d ago

That's how he got with scarlet Johansen

10

u/EphemeralFart 6d ago

But I call her Scarlet Johandsome

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108

u/AfroSarah 6d ago

Pocket-sized, keep him close to give you strength

28

u/Franks_Spice_Sauce 6d ago

I would carry him with me everywhere

7

u/1nOnlyBigManLawrence 6d ago

Perfect for all your sausaging needs! :D

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242

u/Omarn_Simpson 6d ago

I had this as a kid, and the voicebox got damaged so all he could do was yell "AAAAIIIIIYYYYEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHHH"

70

u/Datpanda1999 6d ago

I remember coming across one of these with a different label at some random store awhile back

23

u/I_Commited_Arson 6d ago

He doesn't look very cuddly and soft... I'm scared...

7

u/RivetSquid 6d ago

The face is plastic but the body is a normal plush doll, like a gloworm or one of those weird cuddly barbies.

It always looks creepy, but the more realistic face here really isn't helping. 

10

u/kupozu 6d ago

I do not envy whoever had to design toys for that movie

11

u/GeometryDashIsCool Mr. Ant-Tenna! 6d ago

5

u/DankasaurAum 6d ago

That smug fuckin face

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441

u/This-Clue-5014 6d ago

last time i saw a post about the steve action figure my account got deleted mere minutes later, if i remember correctly

100

u/eraryios 6d ago

prepear thyself

44

u/Quick_Extension_3115 6d ago

We haven’t heard from u/This-Clue-5014 in 37 minutes. I think the mods got him again.

9

u/eraryios 6d ago

He knows of the pact, he knows what he chose. He will not be mourned in hell

6

u/Historical_Swing_422 6d ago

CRUSH!

9

u/eraryios 6d ago

They end is nos

150

u/Capsule_CatYT 6d ago

Bro is about to get deleted again.

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144

u/TFJ 6d ago

Alabama Man (South Park)

31

u/AshlandJackson 6d ago

Wow.

He can bowl.

22

u/SorryAboutMyFamily 6d ago

He can bowl, he can drink, he can drink some more!

ALABAMA MUUAAYUN!

13

u/Round_Bound_Mound 6d ago

He’s quick, he’s strong, he’s active!

11

u/tveye363 6d ago

He beats his wife and drinks... Alabama Man!!

120

u/KeijiTheGreat 6d ago

impractical joker figures

50

u/Key_Pomegranate_8469 6d ago

purgatory blunt rotation

17

u/Skreamie 6d ago

Nah I'd get high with Q, he seems chill

13

u/VladTheSnail 6d ago

Q seems like the chillest to smoke with while getting sal high would be hilarious

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6

u/YaMexicanBoy 6d ago

This feels like a challenge where all of them have to try and get one person to buy a figure of themselves to people in a store.

11

u/dtwombat 6d ago

mommy can I buy the pedophile action figures (Joe and Murr)

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324

u/Smart-Ad57 I hate this smug 6d ago

That no random middle age man, that's motherfucking doom

56

u/PromptNo4041 6d ago

All Caps when you spell the man's name.

43

u/Herobrine702 6d ago

we genuinely can't still be doing this in 2026

92

u/Bread_Offender 6d ago

19

u/Loose_Pride9675 6d ago

i feel so happy knowing that people over here are much more sane

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8

u/Levy-MAN 6d ago

I purposely spell it MF Doom just to make people get angry at me. Saying this as an MF Doom fan

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u/Il_Dottore_Snezhnaya "The Doctor" Zandihh / After burnout on work 6d ago

MF DOOM

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82

u/Simon_Drake 6d ago

Walter Peck from the Environmental Protection Agency in Ghostbusters.

28

u/angel-samael 6d ago

and just like the real thing it has no penis

10

u/Simon_Drake 6d ago

Well that's what I heard

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u/IncreaseWestern6097 6d ago edited 6d ago

Even though it’s actually pretty understandable why they’d make it, I still think it’s really funny that NECA made an action figure of Donald Pleasance as Dr. Loomis from Halloween II.

The best part is that he’s only available in a two-pack that comes with Michael.

That’s also not the only figure that NECA has made that’s just a guy in a suit, since they’ve made two figures of Vincent Price.

13

u/TuneCabbagedFabaceae 6d ago

Kinda understandable that he'd only come in a two pack as crazed middle aged psychiatrist action figure probably wouldn't sell that well

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330

u/ThePhantom71319 6d ago

75

u/Vast-Plantain300 6d ago

"I ate the plate, the whole plate"

25

u/ahmadtheanon 6d ago

"She did it!! Hey man, im still a virgin"

100

u/TheRealKaisser 6d ago

I’d buy that unironically dude was awesome in that movie

18

u/wearerofshades 6d ago

Dude is that a bottle of Pepto bismol?

16

u/EnvyAdamsCAD 6d ago

When you have heartburn

6

u/Pra3fectus 6d ago

nausea, indigestion

5

u/Jsmule 6d ago

Upset Stomach

13

u/ShoArts 6d ago

I wonder how Anthony Anderson would react nowadays to someone asking him to sign this lmao

8

u/Vast-Plantain300 6d ago

It's not a real figure

167

u/ManicMaenads 6d ago

57

u/Dawnbreaker128 6d ago

Ectoplasm. Sure.

7

u/B1gdaddy987 5d ago

Wtaf😭 I mean, ik it's South Park, so putting anything past it is kinda silly, but someone at youtooz was like "yep, randy covered cum is EXACTLY what we need to sell as a figure" lol

7

u/stronged_cheese 5d ago

Oh boy I sure can’t wait to buy the man covered in cum action figure

20

u/Jaxonhunter227 6d ago

Cum

15

u/ThaFinalBoss 6d ago

“This is cum.” Top 10 Randy Marsh quote.

44

u/notTheRealSU 6d ago

Fat Fuck action figure is so peak

40

u/HandsomePaddyRedux 6d ago

I have an undying love for “guy in a business suit” action figures. There’s not as many of them out there as you may think and there’s always something silly about how nondescript they are. Ross here, the guy from Alias had one, the 12’’ Ronald Reagan.

12

u/IncreaseWestern6097 6d ago

I really wish that more of them existed, because it makes it incredibly hard to make custom figures for characters for characters who wear suits.

I’ve wanted to make a Slender Man figure for years, but couldn’t find any good options for what to use. It wasn’t until I found out someone made one using a Skibidi Toilet action figure that I figured out what I could use to make mine.

There’s still other characters who I want to make figures of, like Pierce Brosnan’s James Bond from Goldeneye or the G-Man from Half-Life, but the options for figures in suits are so limited that I don’t know what I’d be able to use.

4

u/HandsomePaddyRedux 6d ago

Yeah, it’s always tough, especially when you need a suit that looks like it fits well or for a slim build. A lot of customizers have resorted to using WWE figures as a base since at least a couple figures in suits and/or ties come out in every few waves, but unless you want a Bond who looks like he’s on gear and letting Vince McMahon tailor his suits you have very limited options.

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3

u/DaveTravis 6d ago

The Dwight Shrute action figure is peak.

3

u/Exact-Difference-422 6d ago

I know this is weird but I had a John Anderson figure from The Matrix I loved more than my Neo one for this reason

40

u/NAnhel 6d ago

Mf has a gold watch too 😭😭 my most insane toy find for sure

17

u/evilcarrot507 6d ago

You better not leave me alone with that figure 😈

13

u/NAnhel 6d ago

n here's another middle aged man figurine

7

u/Eikuld 6d ago

I remember seeing bunch of people rushing in to buy this thing while working at Target and next couple weeks, I saw bunch of them in salvage and return bins lol

5

u/kupozu 6d ago

I wonder what kind of people would buy this one for other reason than collector's sake. Not trying to mock them, I'd really be curious to hear their reasons to collecting a figure of the man in that outfit 

40

u/Famous-Leopard-118 Stachybotrys 6d ago

Rohan.

16

u/stingflame 6d ago

I see Araki

12

u/G0ld3n_Funk 6d ago

Me when I see untwisted balls

45

u/Dead_fawn 6d ago

Surfing Chief O' Hara (from the Batman TV series)

I do not know why they made an action figure of this, but they did. I feel like there's something I'm missing but as far as I can tell there isn't.

26

u/Dead_fawn 6d ago

Doesn't seem to be having a particularly good time for someone who is out surfing; They didn't even bother making his face sculpt happy.

8

u/SkeletorSupreme 6d ago

Saints alive.. it’s False Face, disguised as meself

5

u/immaspam 6d ago

Am I tripping or does he look like...

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u/--_RedPanda_-- 6d ago

Genuinely who tf is playing with Everett Ross

18

u/notjeffdontask 6d ago

Real ones

9

u/Own-Papaya-4264 6d ago

Pretty sure these figures are “for display purposes only”.

But still? Who tf is displaying Everett Ross

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u/Sir-Toaster- 6d ago

Maybe some kid who wants to do a hypothetical courtroom drama for LOTR?

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u/CeruleanEidolon 6d ago

Hey don't make fun of my Hobbits in formal wear AU.

3

u/SarcyBoi41 6d ago

Marvel Legends is more targeted towards adult collectors I believe, so I guess the idea is that if someone is collecting characters from certain MCU movies they'll want him to complete that collection.

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u/JenkemMilkshake 6d ago

big yahu action figure

37

u/mp3help 6d ago

Any Lex Luthor figure that doesn't have his mech suit

7

u/Chadderbug123 6d ago

That baby kaiju looks very puntable

36

u/Drayner89 6d ago

9

u/Traditional_Zone3993 6d ago

So you're telling me, I can get a dude named Claude and not just that but his wallet and staff + pigeon? Sign me in

6

u/Drayner89 6d ago

Well, its a wallet. I don't think its his.

3

u/IuseDefaultKeybinds 6d ago

Hiro and Peter and all those other shmucks have nothing on the GOAT Claude

34

u/skag_boy87 6d ago

Möbius from Loki

35

u/StormWolfBaron 6d ago

Dave the Diver

15

u/Imperius1883 6d ago

How does one acquire this physique

23

u/Reubenthepig09 6d ago

By dave the diving

6

u/tinfoilsheild 6d ago

I'm just a fish minding my own business when I see Dave the Diver.

"I am going to Dave the Dive you."

5

u/Phoenix-Risen1998 6d ago

Speed and weight.

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u/notworthit212 6d ago

I have this one on my misc shelf

29

u/Due_Awareness5660 6d ago

Norman Osborn from the original Spider-Man movie toyline.

14

u/NoxeyNoxey 6d ago

Willem Dafoe + cuck chair combo

4

u/stuid001 6d ago

Oh nein, der cuckstoel

49

u/venusduck_III 6d ago

That's not just a middle aged man that is MF DOOM rest in peace

14

u/Il_Dottore_Snezhnaya "The Doctor" Zandihh / After burnout on work 6d ago

Our man is in the better place, spitting heavenly bars

23

u/MikeAWatson 6d ago

I have him on my nightstand

20

u/Glassesguy904 6d ago

One of my co-workers is an American history buff and collects these. He always has one on his desk and swaps them out based on their birthdays.

17

u/tmris55 6d ago

Regular dude

18

u/Traditional-Lie-8841 6d ago

Giovanni Ribisi’s dirtbag CEO character from Avatar had his own action figure that even came with his yuppie-fuck putter for games of office golf.

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u/10rattails41wasp 6d ago edited 6d ago

I’m unsure if my Shaggy 2 Dope and Captain Spaulding figurines count as just middle aged men, so I’ll let you guys be the judge of them

14

u/PalpitationThat9383 6d ago

Half the star wars figures are just fictional traders and politicians

11

u/Puzzle-Necked 6d ago

That's beloved Star Wars character Glup Shitto

29

u/Thundersting 6d ago

9

u/StonedBooty 6d ago

I got me these night vision goggles

6

u/offoutover 6d ago

I quote Happy Time Harry from time to time and no one ever knows where it's from.

10

u/SilvrSabl 6d ago

Commence the jigglin!

8

u/Sudo-Fed 6d ago

Come ooooon! Everybody likes ta' jiggle!

11

u/Suspicious_Bid_2339 6d ago

why do they push Ross so heavily like he’s some sort of badass it’s so funny to me

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u/Coolman_Rosso 6d ago

"Honey, why aren't you playing with the middle aged fat fuck action figure you got for Christmas?"

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u/farceur318 6d ago

Bob the Goon from the 1989 Batman movie. He has a power kick and he looks like a dude that’s been living on his houseboat while the divorce is being finalized!

6

u/Puzzle-Necked 6d ago

He's just waiting for the mixing to be done on his self financed album and he's outta here

55

u/vigobox 6d ago

Is that netanyuau 😭✌️

39

u/IndividualRadio1919 6d ago

The second one? No, that's Everett K. Ross, the perennial and awesomely funny butt-monkey of Christopher Priest's Black Panther comics.

(He's the one on the right, if you were wondering.)

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u/fuckthisomfg 6d ago

i think it’s supposed to be steve from minecraft

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u/Lovemydog65465 6d ago

Mfs will see an white haired guy in a suit and instantly say netanyahu

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u/Altruistic-Dress-968 6d ago

Wait that MF DOOM action figure is actually awesome.

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u/BigBallsAnthony69 6d ago

Every TF2 Neca figurines

3

u/ManyMicroPixels 6d ago

atleast their designs are somewhat unique/distinct

8

u/CrimsonKobold 6d ago

Middle aged miner/prospector with a beard action figure, did Toy Story 2 predict Minecraft action figures with Stinky Pete?

7

u/fantasy-capsule 6d ago

"Look Barbie, a big ugly man doll!"

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u/RickMonsters 6d ago

Imagine being so racist you buy your kid the Everett Ross action figure and nothing else from that movie

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u/Osuka39 6d ago

I have 8 Rosses but 0 any other Wakanda Forever figures :/ (I only collect comic figures so I brought all those suited bodies for customs)

4

u/Osuka39 6d ago

I have one bazillion hatut zeraze figures thou

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u/LiceTheGamer 6d ago

mommy mommy can i get the middle aged man action figure

8

u/DerpJobi 6d ago

Mr. Looper

7

u/Not_So_Utopian 6d ago

The Stan Lee figure

6

u/LukeSkywalker1980 6d ago

Bruce Banner Legends 2023

5

u/f1shb01 6d ago

Who is buying the white guy from Black Panther?

6

u/extraflux 6d ago

Not middle age but old man action figure. I have this. It's just Walken in a robe. 20/10 no notes.

5

u/Bicksaurus 6d ago

This talking george bush doll i found locally

6

u/YourRealName3737 6d ago

Gotta love the Jack Blacktion figure.

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u/PowerCosmic 6d ago

Not convinced that this fits the meme considering it's a blind box AND the campiness of the character is a feature/not a bug. Even so, everyone deserves a dose of Carl now and then.

5

u/the_juan_express 6d ago

I want a Don Cheadle action figure.

4

u/Z0kstone 6d ago

I've actually considered starting a collection of these, the Martin Freeman one inspired it actually. I think it would be hilarious to just have an army of regular looking actors/actresses as action figures.

5

u/ZombieKilljoy 6d ago

I’d prefer this than any Mr. Beast product

3

u/spancor 6d ago

I have 3 Cody Rhodes action figures on my shelf, in boxes. Do they count or is he like a wrestler so it doesn’t count

3

u/G4rch0ml3tt3 6d ago

“Children absolutely love playing with fat old men!”

3

u/ELRONDSxLADY 6d ago

My son whenever he plays with Jim Hopper from Stranger Things. He came with a big ass Raphael but he prefers Hopper in his dad jeans and Hawaiian print button up.

3

u/dancingmachine58 6d ago

Since you mentioned Doom.. (J Dilla)