r/medieval • u/Scholastic_Snail • 3h ago
Questions ❓ Outside all stereotypes, were European Middle Ages THAT bad? (Specially for women?)
It happens to me, that every single time I read a book, or article, or literally anything about the Middle Ages, I am met with almost intense remarks that "and by the way, it was ugly back then," even if they do not promote the well-known stereotypes of "you could get burned for knowing to read and everything was muddy."
For example, I was reading Ian Mortimer's "A Time Traveler's guide to Medieval England," which was cool, but I am starting to doubt if it is a good source on some topics. For example, it said that the marriage vows were only for women, and that men "shall do as he pleases," such as going with prostitutes and stuff, and that it was fully legal. My first reaction was doubt, as far as I know, marriage in Europe was only legal through the Catholic Church, which, indeed, placed the vows on both males and females (correct me if I am wrong), I dismissed it, but Mortimer kept writing about how a woman could not resist her husband sexually (at least legally); that if she was raped and had a child, she was said to technically have "enjoyed it" as it was believed "you could not get pregnant unless you enjoyed the sex," therefore "you were not raped" (I thought a woman being raped was a violation to the property of whoever her male guardian was, so legal procedures should have happened instead of just forsaking her, but Mortimer gave the impression that just being dismissed was her fate); and that she was always confined to the domestic sphere while man was the one who managed the public sphere, which sounded too "post-industrial 1950s" for me (I thought that in middle ages most business were in the same place as the house, so "domestic" and "public" was not as defined as today) but hey, he's a historian, he knows his stuff.
I have also read how feudalism was "borderline slavery" and that feudal lords constantly used fear to keep their peasants obedient (with the fact that "peasants did not resent their lords, they genuinely feared them"), and that lords could force a woman to marry to someone so she kept giving kids (I also raised an eyebrow here, because I thought marriage through the medieval church should be "consented," which explains the kidnappings and torture to force a woman/man to say "Yes" at the altar, as it was invalid without the verbal affirmation). On another occasion I read in a harmless and non-academic article about uncommonly mentioned medieval jobs that one of them was the alewife, and that a woman on this role had kind of a financial autonomy and was very present in public life; this put a small smile in my face, but almost as if the writer said to themselves "Oh no! They will think there was something minimally good in the middle ages! No way! I have to avoid that!" they proceeded to immediately say that alewives were socially marginalized and blamed for everything "just for being a woman; haha, look how sexist and stupid medieval people were."
I take this kind of thing personally, as I am both:
- A middle-aged enthusiast
- Someone who has a visceral hatred for sexism
Of course, I did not expect medieval times to be a utopia or that their treatment of women was equal and respectful; that would be kind of silly. I am mildly infuriated because it doesn't matter where I look, EVERYTIME I get rubbed on my face that "the Middle Ages were horrid, btw," like, hell dude, Rome and Greece were absurdly worse, but the public barely checks the plagues, the final boss of sexism (Greece), or the blood sports, as classical people were "advanced and very intelligent."
I am not saying it is bad to point out the ugly sides of an historical era, but it is unnatural how absurdly emphasized they are regarding the Middle Ages. "Medieval" has become a word that is a synonym of brutish, irrational, superstitious, etc. etc. etc.
This makes me think: "Even if all the old stereotypes were fake, were the REAL Middle Ages worth all the hate if even historians say so?"
So, ignoring my entire manifesto, did I just have bad resources, or were the Middle Ages actually that ugly? I'd like to hear your opinion.