Hi, so uh I've been attending Butterworth Mentari for mental health issues. So far so good, I got the help I needed and there's a follow up & check-up I gotta do at Hospital Seberang Jaya.
But the problem is I'm not from around Butterworth. I'm from KB and it took half an hour every trip back and forth from KB to Butterworth. I wished I could continue my appointment or treatment at Hospital KB or idk, if there's any specialized mental health clinic in KB... is it possible to change clinics?
But my mom already booked an appointment at Hospital Seberang Jaya for check up aghhh 😭 and that's right multiple trips in one month to attend Mentari & Hospital, far away from my home. I'm not exhausted but my mom's the one who did the driving and I was kinda worried if it exhausts her. She won't admit it but I can see how tired she is.
Also my mom was very conservative, so it's quite a surprise she's willing to open up and help me with this... But one thing I want to share with you guys... I'm at the end of my semester, and the final exam includes 4 papers, plus another total of 7 papers I had to retake next month...and the gap between retakes and last semester's exam is only a few days.
I wasn't studying properly this semester, and even though the trial is already here, I'm still in the dark. I admit it's my fault, please don't attack me 😭 🙏 I just don't want to give up yet, but it feels like the task is impossible...I feel like I was bound to fail...and if I failed, all my mom's sacrifice would mean nothing...
The only way I could repay her is by getting good grades and cgpa...but right now, it's clear that I was gonna fail. I might be able to get average grades but only if I'm able to focus on saving what I can. But whenever I open the book, I feel like the sky is crashing down... Like it's too late... there's too much to read...but I don't want to disappoint my mom. I can't fail again...but god this is too heavy... I'm so scared. I admit I wasn't doing very well in studying, but I hope please would you guys give me some hope that I can do this? I just need someone to tell me that everything is going to be okay...just focus on what's on your mind first...you can do this... Anybody...?