I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm a fat bastard and I don't need your weight loss tips. Most of the discussions in this story happened in a mixture of Dutch and English.

About ten years ago some friends and I were sightseeing around the UK. Some of the people in attendance were more friends-of-friends rather than my pals directly.

We had just arrived in a hostel / bunkhouse like accommodation in the Lake District for a week. I was unpacking some food and putting it in the fridge in the kitchen, when a friend-of-a-friend and his girlfriend, we'll call them Jack and Ass for the purposes of this story, looked over my shoulder at the sixteen rashers of delicious back bacon I'd bought at a farmers market in the Midlands the previous day. My plan was to share it over a few days.

Jack says "oh awesome you bought bacon! That looks so good I can't wait to have a bacon sandwich in the morning!"

I politely told him that it was my bacon, and I'd hoped it would last the next few days, but maybe he could have a couple of rashers in the morning, yeah.

He responded "Ha! I'm a bacon FIEND! I can eat so much. There's no way that's lasting more than tomorrow! You'll be lucky if you get any yourself!" Jack and Ass then proceeded to laugh. Bearing in mind I don't really know this guy, it took me back. I assumed it was a joke, it's my bacon after all... but I was wrong.

We went hiking, ate dinner out then came home to have some beers and wine. During the walk and throughout the evening after, all that Jack kept talking about was how good a bacon sandwich would be to cure his hangover in the morning, and how bacon is his nemesis, he can't stop eating it.

I was seething. He's talking about helping himself to MY bacon! So I hatched a plan. I wasn't much of a drinker at the time and we'd had a busy day, so I headed to bed early and left people to get drunk until the early hours.

I woke up at 6AM feeling fine. Everybody else is still asleep. But I'm hungry!

I open up the packet of bacon. At first I considered just eating like four rashers before everyone wakes up, and then making a few sandwiches for people so at least it gets shared round...but if I did that, there would still be the chance that Jack and Ass would enjoy more than their fair share.

So then I thought "fuck it." I'm a proper fat bastard when I want to be, so I made a triple decker, sixteen rasher monstrosity of a bacon sandwich, complete with HP brown sauce (as any British person will tell you is the correct way). I felt like that guy on Man vs Food by the end, I was comatose.

Eventually, everyone else stumbles out of bed, including Jack and Ass. In his hungry hungover state, Jack goes to the fridge and starts searching round it. I wonder what he could be looking for. Eventually he comes over and says "hey Kumquat, do you know where the bacon is? I was... Err...gonna make you and I some breakfast!"

"I already ate it." I say

"Oh you already ate. Cool! Where's the rest of it?"

"No, I ate it all. There's none left."

"You can't have eaten it all! There was tons in there!" he said

"Maybe I'm just more of a bacon fiend than you?"

Jack didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. No regrets.

My (25F) now-ex-boyfriend (23M) and I had been together for 2.5 years and were planning to move in together. However, things got a bit complicated over the summer.

In July, he broke up with me because he had doubts about our relationship. The very next day, he changed his mind and told me that none of that was true. He claimed that he was struggling with his mental health and had been projecting those struggles onto our relationship. He said that breaking up with me had been the biggest mistake of his life and reassured me that he wanted to be with me forever.

Naturally, I was hesitant about moving in together after all of this, but he insisted that it was 100% what he wanted. He made me believe that his doubts had been caused by his mental health issues rather than his feelings for me. Eventually, I trusted him and agreed to take that next step in our relationship.

We rearranged my entire house to accommodate him and spent a lot of money preparing for our life together. He still had a few belongings left to move, but before he could do that, he went on a week-long volunteer trip.

A little background information: he wasn’t working at the time because of his mental health issues and was officially on sick leave. However, he hadn’t told his employer that he was going on this trip. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with him lying to his employer, but he didn’t seem to care.

Now, here’s where everything went downhill.

He came home from the trip on Sunday and told me he’d fallen in love with another woman he’d met there. Apparently, they’d talked about their feelings for each other and had already been intimate on the bus ride home.

I was devastated, but he showed very little empathy. It felt like his head was already with this new girl and that he was only interested in moving on with her. He thanked me for the past 2.5 years of our relationship and wanted to collect his belongings as soon as possible. There was very little consideration for my feelings or for the life we’d just started building together. He just seemed eager to get rid of me and move on.

The following day, we spoke on the phone, and he got angry because he felt I wasn’t giving him enough opportunities to collect his things. I was staying at my mom’s house because of everything that had happened, so I wasn’t home.

During that same conversation, he told me he was relieved that our relationship was over and that he’d wanted to leave for a long time. Apparently, he’d only stayed because he was afraid of being alone and needed to find a “backup” first.

He also told me that the new girl had a better body than me and that they’d already been talking a lot since the breakup. As if that wasn’t hurtful enough, the following day, he came to my house to collect his belongings and brought her along because, according to him, he couldn’t carry everything by himself.

I told him I wasn’t comfortable with her coming into my house and asked him to come back without her. This led to a huge argument over the phone.

At this point, I was furious and heartbroken, and I wanted revenge. So, here’s what I did. I created a fake email account and emailed his employer, informing them that he’d gone on vacation while on sick leave. I included screenshots of his Instagram posts from the trip as evidence.

I was angry and felt that if he was well enough to go on vacation, pursue another woman, and cheat on me, then he was well enough to work.

I know contacting his employer was a big step. However, I felt completely blindsided, humiliated, and disrespected. We’d just moved in together after he’d reassured me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, only for him to leave me for someone else days later and treat me as though I meant nothing.

People in our social circle are divided on whether I went too far by contacting his employer, with some understanding why I did it and others thinking I crossed a line.

A few clarifications:

1. It’s not fake unfortunately. I did use AI to polish my writing since English is not my first language.

2. I told 2 close friends I did it. When it came out (his work called him), he confronted me and I confessed it was me (bc I’m not a liar). So thats when I told more people I did it. I don’t know why I created a fake email, that was unnecessary looking back.

3. Not much happened after. His work called him the next day, but they’d already agreed not to renew his contract, so he was leaving anyway. They decided to let it go.

4. They didn’t have sex on the bus, they just kissed and cuddled.

Hope this helps xx

I’ve gotten increasingly frustrated with people soliciting my house for various services, especially during election season. It seems like no matter how clearly you display a “No Soliciting” sign, some people either don’t see it or simply don’t care.

My partner and I both work from home, and we have a dog, so someone ringing the doorbell is more than just a minor annoyance. It interrupts whatever we’re doing, sets the dog off, and generally disrupts our day. We even have a sign posted right by the front door, yet people will routinely walk right past it, sometimes cutting across our grass, and ring the bell anyway.

Normally, we don’t answer the door unless someone is particularly persistent. I used to just throw away whatever business cards, flyers, or other materials they left behind and move on with my day. Annoying, but whatever.
Recently, though, I decided to take a slightly different approach.

The last time someone came by to solicit business, ignored our sign, and walked across our grass, I went to the company’s Yelp page and left a one-star review. I didn’t make anything up or exaggerate what happened. I simply explained that their representative had trespassed across our lawn and ignored our clearly posted No Soliciting sign.
And honestly? I think I’m going to start doing this whenever it happens.

This happened almost 20 years ago but I still laugh about it from time to time.

I (20F at the time) dated my coworker (20M) while we worked together at a sandwich shop. We dated for about four months, then he transferred to another store when we broke up. I think it was about a year later when my manager asked me if I'd be okay with him transferring back to our store. I'd moved on by that point, so it seemed fine to me and I agreed.

He was NEVER on time. It wasn't just that he was showing up late to shifts, but he would show up with a fresh Timmies coffee in hand and stand outside smoking and talking on the phone while I or another employee was waiting to be off shift. A lot of the time there was only one person working, so you'd rely on your replacement to be there so you can leave. He wouldn't even be at the store until 10 minutes after his shift started sometimes. It's one thing if you're in a more flexible type of job, but in a lot of foodservice jobs you really depend on the other person being on time, and this wasn't just one bad day or even a few, he was being consistently late every single time he worked. I'd get mad at him to his face and I'd tell our boss about it but nothing changed.

One day I was the only one working, I was off at 5 and my ex was taking over the shift at 5. He actually came into the store a few minutes before 5, which was surprising. However, he had his new girlfriend with him and they sat down at one of the tables. He was not in uniform.

Like I said earlier, I'd moved on from my feelings for him, so I didn't mind seeing him with his girlfriend. It was just that I knew for certain that he was going to be sitting there way past 5, and I really had to leave on time that day. I was also so tired of dealing with him not even trying to be on time.

It was a slow day, so at 5 on the dot I decided to just go and get changed. I figured, if a customer walks in, my ex would be the one who looks bad for having to scramble to get ready. Luckily we had no customers while I was changing. Not until the very last minute when I was leaving the bathroom and walking across the lobby in my normal clothes, did a customer walk in. The door chimed, and I threw a cheerful "see ya" at my ex as I walked past his table. He looked startled and immediately got up and raced to the back to get into his work clothes and serve the customer.

Looking back, given the circumstance I feel like it was totally worth it. That customer walked in at exactly the right time to make it the perfect amount of petty. I do hope they didn't wait too long, but my ex was a good worker when he was actually working, so I'm sure they got a decent sandwich at least.

Couple months back, someone opened a Kalshi account using my email. I know it's one of the other people with my name because he always uses the undotted version of my Gmail account, and I never use that one.

Well, if you are going to open an account with my email, then I can reset the password for it. I did so, to a random 50-character password, because if I'm going to be a dick about this, I'm going all in on it.

I'm guessing he didn't think about the fact that Kalshi is required to act as a financial site, so you can't get shit out of them unless you're emailing from the email on your account (not happening), or logged into the app chat (not happening either now that I’ve changed the password).

And they have a pretty aggressive session termination timeout.

So it looks like he decided to try betting on something today, because in today's mail, from Kalshi: "Hi there, click the following link to finish resetting your password". Oh, I’ve already done that, no need to thank me. His account is very secure.

So secure he’ll never see the inside of it again.

Hi Reddit! I tried to post my story a few months ago but it was auto flagged because of this burner account lol. I’ve got some account age now and I solemnly swear I am a real person and this is a real story, my best revenge story.

My ex (28M) and I (26F) were together for about three years until I caught him cheating on me. When I found out, I reached out to the woman (I’ll call her Tiffany, idk how old she is) on Instagram to see if she knew about me. Not only did she know about me, they carried on together for almost a year right under my nose. She seemed proud of it, told me I had low self esteem and that I was “holding him back.” From what? I have no idea. I blocked her pretty much immediately after that.

Fast forward a few months and one of the guys in my friend group starts dating a girl, we’ll call Penny (23F). Penny and I have very similar personalities and interests and started becoming fast friends. Apparently Penny’s boyfriend was quite shocked, unbeknownst to me Penny was best friends with Tiffany. When he filled me in on this fun little detail I asked if he told her about Tiffany and my fiancé, he said he did not tell her specifics, only that me and Tiffany didn’t get along. I was content to leave it at that because it’s not my place to dictate who my friends are friends with.

After that it felt like Tiffany was the elephant in the room. Neither Penny or I or anyone else in our friend group brought her up in conversation. That was until Tiffany blew up her friendship with Penny.

Penny’s bf threw a surprise birthday party for her and invited our group and some of Penny’s other friends - not Tiffany. Tiffany found out about the party and that I was there and was pissed. She didn’t bother texting Penny happy birthday or anything, then the next day texted her a bunch of horrible things. She told her she felt betrayed that Penny was spending time with me. She also said some pretty gross things about Penny’s boyfriend, and said she cannot continue to be friends with her if she’s dating him and friends with me. Honestly I think I was more mad at Tiffany for how she was treating Penny than I was for her sleeping with my ex lol

Penny’s boyfriend was angry and took this opportunity to fill her in on the entire backstory with Tiffany. Apparently Tiffany had told Penny about me and my ex but her version of the events were wildly different. Penny called me to apologize for everything. She told me about their conversation and that if Tiffany wants her to choose she is going to choose me. I told her she has absolutely nothing to apologize for, and said even if her and Tiffany make up I will still continue to be friends with her I just don’t want to hear about Tiffany’s relationship with my ex. Penny laughed and said their “relationship” already ended because he had cheated on her too. Shocker, I know.

Anyways. All of this blew up in April and Tiffany has not spoken to Penny since then. Penny and her boyfriend are doing great and she is honestly one of my best friends. I’m so happy our weird two degrees of separation worked out in our favor!

Small update: they have spoken now! Tiffany blew up on her again last week because Tiffany had apparently been seeing someone and had been lying to him about all of the drama! Based on his timeline of events they had gotten together and were “exclusive” when she was still seeing my ex. He caught her sneaking around with another guy and confronted her which she denied everything, so he reached out to her Penny who told him everything. Tiffany freaked out on both of them and they both blocked her. Hopefully this is the last time the insufferable creature pops back into our lives.

Going to be vague about a few things here since I don’t want to be identified…

For some context, I studied media at university; and I was the ‘top of the class’ (not tooting my own horn, no one else gave a shit). My course was… not good. Most of the shooting and editing skills I had, I taught myself. My classmates always tried to work with me because they knew I enjoyed the work and would do a lot of it myself. I had the good camera, the mics, the top quality SD cards. Everyone else used the uni’s standard kit, which was… not good either.
I became fast friends with a classmate pretty soon into my first year, and we got gradually closer as our course progressed. I didn’t see it at the time, but she was a total narcissist and tried to control me. Naive old me thought she was just a troubled person and I was helping her out.

I know now that she was abusing me for our entire degree. She would manipulate me into doing all the work, take credit for it, then start fights over insignificant things and convince me I was in the wrong every time. She had a holier- than- thou attitude to EVERYTHING. I was so preoccupied with other life things including my mental health throughout my degree that I just didn’t see it. Some examples of the things she did: she was horrible to me once I started seeing someone, and spent time with him instead of constantly being in her presence. She tried everything in her power to break us up (including trying to convince him I was cheating on him with a woman… fortunately he is not an idiot, nor is he insecure about my sexuality, which she tried to use against me). She forced her way into my flat share and ripped all the photos of us off my wall while shouting at me and tearing them to shreds, all because I’d apparently not shown her enough compassion over an unrequited crush. There is so much more, and a lot worse. But we’d be here for a while.

Here’s the petty revenge part. In our third year, she started using my skills for her benefit more than she already was. She would arrange for me and her to attend small events (often without asking me first), where I would film/ photograph things, mostly unpaid. She would come along and stand around and find ways to ensure I did all the work and then present us as a duo. This happened a few times, and at first I wasn’t all that bothered because it was good experience for me and I had the time.

Then I got an actual offer for work. A huge, life- changing role opportunity that started immediately and would launch me into the career. I was INCREDIBLY fortunate to be offered this, and I couldn’t turn it down.

Well, when I told her this, she lost it with me. I’d be starting straight away, so wouldn’t be able to attend the latest event she’d organised (mind you, she again never asked me). I told her I wasn’t available and had never agreed. She said it was a huge opportunity (and also happened to involve someone she had a crush on at the time). I said, you can handle it yourself, knowing full well that she couldn’t. It was too late for her to find someone else to do the work.

I left her to attend the event. This was my breaking point. Normally, I would never abandon someone, but she pushed me too far and it finally made me see that she was using me. She ended up doing the event by herself, and screwed it up… big time. She had no idea what she was doing and left the event with zero coverage. She embarrassed herself in front of a lot of people. I blocked her everywhere and she resorted to emailing me pages and pages of abuse, so I blocked her there too.

I met up with a friend recently who had been mutual friends with her. I learned that after this, she never worked in the industry again.

It’s taken me a long time to get past what she did to me, but this certainly has helped.

I've posted here before and this happened recently. It may not be one of those super satisfying petty revenge stories, so here goes nothing.

For context, I live in Indonesia. Some of you may have heard about the wildfires that have been raging across parts of the country recently.

And just to be clear, in no way was I making fun of anyone affected by the fires or trying to make light of the situation. I know how serious it is, especially since I live in one of the affected cities myself. I would never make fun of people who are suffering from something that has also affected me personally. I was simply trying to get away from the haze for a while and enjoy a little break while recovering. That's literally it.

A lot of people, especially the elderly and children, have been getting seriously ill from breathing in the toxic smoke and haze every day. I happen to live in one of the cities affected by it, too. To make matters worse, the smoke and haze have spread to neighboring countries. Our government has been handling the situation terribly, and Singapore has even threatened to take legal action against Indonesia over the haze. Ironically, a lot of Indonesians actually support this because we're fed up with our own government's handling of the situation.

Anyway, on to the petty revenge.

Last month, my eyes got so irritated from the smoke that I had to see a doctor and get some eye drops. Once my eyes had recovered enough, I decided to take a week off and go on vacation to Bali. I wanted to recover completely and, more importantly, get away from the haze for a while.

Well, it turns out that a 'friend' of mine had been watching my Instagram stories, and boy, did she take issue with my vacation.

She sent me a private message, passive-aggressively asking how I could possibly go on vacation when the entire country was in crisis. I asked her what she meant, and she told me it was incredibly insensitive of me to go on vacation, take pictures, and post them online while so many people were suffering.

Mind you, it's not like I was deliberately flaunting my vacation to make fun of the situation or make light of what was happening in the country. I wasn't even posting pictures of myself sunbathing on the beach or lounging by the pool. I'm an amateur photographer who loves taking pictures of pretty much anything EXCEPT myself.

And honestly, it wasn't even much of a vacation. I only went because of my eye condition and needed to get away from the haze for a while.

She's just the kind of person who gets bitter and jealous and loves raining on other people's parades because apparently, the thought of someone else enjoying themselves is too much for her to handle. And this definitely wasn't the first time she'd pulled something like this. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person who's had to deal with her bitterness, either.

And the funniest part? She doesn't even live in a city affected by the haze. Meanwhile, I'm literally living in one of the affected cities and had to see a doctor because of it, but apparently, I'm the insensitive one for taking a vacation to get away from the smoke for a while. Make it make sense.

We went back and forth for a while, but eventually, she stopped replying to my last message. A little later, she posted a status that read, "Some people are really just a bunch of insensitive and unempathetic idiots."

Well, if she thought my vacation pictures were insensitive before, I figured I'd give her something to really complain about.

So I took even MORE pictures for the rest of my vacation, posted them on both Instagram and Facebook without a single caption, and tagged her in every single one of them. The only response I got from her was a “???” comment on one of the posts, which I didn't even bother replying to.

She blocked me shortly afterward.

Just talked to a friend about this and felt like it was a decent story.

For context I'm Chinese American and unfortunately I lost my ability to speak and understand Cantonese. Fitting the sterotype ABC, American born Chinese (whom usually can't speak their native tongue, among other things). In college I hung out with a good amount of Asian Americans and Asian internationals. My friend and I got invited to a house party where practically everyone was international Chinese and we were the only ABCs.

Most of the conversations were in Mandarin, my friend could understand a bit but my background isn't from the mainland, it's from Hong Kong where they still speak Cantonese. When people realized I couldn't understand some started to speak Cantonese. To their surprise I couldn't understand either. A guy made a comment saying Tian Gou. To me, I'm thinking nothing of it just a comment. My friend pulls me aside and says we should go they just called you a bad phrase. I think it's like dog licker meaning brown noser something along those lines.

Anyway I obviously got offended and was like f u guys. You invited us to your home as guests and only have bad things to say about me. Before we left, I was like I need to use the bathroom. Took a big nasty shit in the main floor bathroom and made sure to throw a lot of toilet paper in the toilet to clog it up. Flush and sure enough it starts clogging and overflowing. Booked it out of there after.

I worked for a smaller business in 2020, I was an assistant the the office manager and accounts payable manager. Both were clearly 1. old 2. wanting to retire and 3. assholes.

I knew I would not be there forever because I hated interacting so closely with them both. My OM's plan was to train someone younger to eventually either replace her or help with the transition of someone new by having someone there who knew how to do what she did.

She was always ornery and always looking for problems, I got used to it. Then one day she calls me into her office and shows me this report I gave her, and she just goes off about how the numbers don't make sense and etc. As I am listening and also looking at the report I realize she's not reading it correctly. She finishes her spiel and I point to the report and explain she didn't see this part and her reply was basically "Ok, but if you HAD made that mistake it's like what even is the point of you working here.". I was so stunned. I hadn't done anything wrong but I am still useless?

I went into my office and cried, packed everything up and went home with the intention of no-showing but then decided I would be professional and give my 2 weeks. To my surprise the AP woman said she'd love to give me a reference!

I applied to jobs in a new city and reached out to the AP woman and she replied it was actually against their policy to give references. I knew it was because my OM told her not to. They didn't have HR let alone any policy on that.

Anyways, I had a retirement account with them. OM told me to roll it over or withdraw. I said I would. I never have. A year later she reached out again, please withdraw or roll over. I said I would. This has happened every year since I quit. I get a letter in the mail letting me know about their investments, that all recipients of their 401ks get, she reaches out to me asking me to please do it and I just never do.

Thinking about how overwhelmed she often was, and how many bills and letters they send out, I feel pretty good when I imagine my name coming across her desk every year for no reason other than making a little more work for her. lol

This happened in the early 1990s. I (23M) was a medical representative and the patch I covered used to be covered by my boss. He and I never got along and I disliked him intensely. He didn't want to hire me but the national sales director insisted that he did so I assume his dislike stemmed from that.

This guy is also completely incompetent as a people manager. In the days he field trips with me, I learnt nothing. All I got from him was unfair criticism.

Anyway cutting to the chase: I had submitted my call reports for the week and handed them in with my colleagues on Friday afternoon before having a few beers and heading home.

My boss called me at about 6:30 pm and asked me to come in on Monday morning at 8:30 am sharp. I asked him why but he refused to expand. He asked me to cancel my Monday appointments and just to be in the office at 8:30.

Naturally I sweated all weekend wondering what the hell was going on. I rang my colleagues, all of whom I got on with very well, and none of them were asked to come in Monday. By Monday morning I was stressed to the max and very upset.

I went into his office and he asked me about a doctor meeting that I had on the Wednesday. He said to me, "I see you've written here that you met with Dr. R. Jenkins. Well I know Rob really well and I called him to see how your call went. He said he didn't meet you and hadn't seen you for about a month. Can you please explain yourself because this is a sackable offence?"

I was furious and went dead quiet and really cold, responding: "I did see Dr. R. Jenkins on Wednesday. But it wasn't Rob Jenkins. It was his sister, Rachel."

My boss flustered around a little before he said Rachel's last name wasn't Jenkins, it was Smith. I explained that she had gotten divorced and taken her maiden name back. Needless to say I got the day off and ended up playing golf.

About three months later we had a national sales conference. It had been a long week and everyone was absolutely exhausted. After dropping some of our colleagues off at airports, we all headed home. It was about 4:30 pm on a Friday and my boss rang me and asked me to come in along with my other colleagues for a debrief. This time we were all absolutely furious about him dragging us all back into the office late on Friday afternoon after an exhausting week.

That night I called all my colleagues individually and asked them all to call our national sales director to complain. They did and I did.

Our sales director called us each individually on Sunday night and told us that our boss had been fired and to come in on Monday morning to meet our new boss.

We all lived happily ever after. No regrets.

EDIT: because so many people have never worked in a corporate organisation, please allow me to point out that our new boss was appointed from within our sales ranks in that particular state. That's why it only took a couple of days to get it sorted and confirmed.

PS: In the industry, to report that one has falsely met with a doctor (customer) is called 'brass-plating'.

I posted this story on a different subreddit but I figured this story would fit here as well!

Alright so some backstory, there is this shopping center near my city that has so many cool things. I love going there monthly and have found my specific stores that I like to shop at. I never have any problems with the area except for one thing, I will always be followed around. When I first started going there, I honestly didn't think too much of it because I was new to this area and I just assumed they didn't want anything stolen (the store did sell some expensive items and it is easy to steal if you really tried). I ended up going to this store and several others for the next two years, and while I never had any issues with them, I would still be followed around. I was getting pretty frustrated by this because by this point I had become a sort of regular customer, and would usually come out with something each time.

Before anyone asks, I still went to this store because they specialized in items/decorations that I can't find anywhere else, plus some stuff they have marked down for pretty good prices I can't find anywhere else.

One day, I was in the store per usual and I had this one man follow me around again. This wasn't anyone I hadn't seen before, but this time he was actually making me uncomfortable/agitated with how close he would be and how he would literally follow me around every time I turned or stepped somewhere. He was getting close to the point that anything I even pointed at, he would come and start "fixing" it. That's where I finally had enough and got the bright idea to start following him, in which I did. I immediately went to where he was standing at and stood right next to him and just stood there looking at whatever he was looking at. He pays no mind and leaves after 2 seconds, in which I then follow him to the next place he was at. He's at this new area and once again I go and stand directly next to him and just look at the items he's looking at. This time, I can tell that he's noticing what I'm doing because his hands start to look like he doesn't know what to do. After a few seconds of awkward silence and him trying to see what he could "fix" he leaves and goes to another area, and what happens next? I followed him to that area AGAIN and this time even started to grab one of the items he was "fixing" and started to act interested in it. By this point I think he knows what I'm doing because after this he just goes to the register and stays there for the rest of the time.

After all of that, I pay for the one thing I decided to buy that day and go home. Now when I left the store itself and got to the car, I was honestly cheesing at myself for the fact that I actually did that, especially since I hate confrontation or being rude to people in general. I wondered if the next time I went to the store if I would be followed again, which surprisingly enough he never did.

What shocked me even more was that ever since that day, the guy would never follow me around the store again and was instead actually nice to me. Before when I would come in he would never acknowledge me or anything except follow me around, but now when I came in he would say "Welcome to *store*" and even "Thank You for Coming in". The biggest shock was when I went to that store again for their re grand opening (they renovated/expanded the store more) and I bumped into the man who turned out to be the owner of the store, and he gave me a nod like he was in my way and went on to whatever he was doing. I felt like I had been being given a nod of approval from a strict parent.

Ever since then, anytime I go to any stores and see someone following me around in the sense that they think I'm trying to steal, I just pull that same move and every time they leave me alone without fail. Weirdly enough, I would get treated better from doing that which I honestly never understood. Thank you store owner guy for unintentionally teaching me to better stand up for myself haha

Posted this as a reply earlier, thought I'd make it a post.

I'm in a small town with just three lumber yards / hardware stores. I only really shop at one, which is just a block away from me.

I've spent probably around 80,000 there over the years, plus at this particular point i had a 25,000 credit there so my contractors could get stuff for a reno project. I know that isn't a big spend over 15 years, i know i am not any sort of big fish. But I'm a reliable, regular customer.

I have long hair, but older (50ish), i was dressed rough (working around the house), i was at the store to get some plumbing supplies.

I'm in the plumbing aisle, hunting for the correct metal elbow, straight, and T ends. And i notice a newer employee is like... standing DIRECTLY behind and to the side of me. So close i can hear his breath. I look at him, and he's being a bit smug.

So i asked what's up. This fucker starts telling me "oh, I'm just checking nothing end up in your pockets". I ask why on earth would i go out into the world to steal plumbing parts, and he says something about how he knows what "you guys" use to make pipes "for smoking dope". Well, fuck this

Now, being a bit of a weed smoker myself, i know how to make a pipe out of anything. But I'm not a broke kid any more though so i use art glass for pipes, not plumbing parts.

There are other people in the store, people i work with, my neighbors, etc. I felt gutted.

I just turned away and walked straight to the owners office, which was just around the corner. "Hey Josh, how are you today? Great. I think this guy you hired has something to tell you. Talk to him before i walk out of here and never comes back".

I felt lucky it didn't happen at a big chain store, any complaints i made would have been ignored. Instead, the new guy learned that some of the most beat-up, filthy customers are rich farmers or, like me, just small town, dressed down weirdos who buy everything there.

And i got to go home with 25 bucks worth of plumbing parts for free. I should have made a pipe with it.

*this is not my revenge, but revenge I witnessed - short, sweet and delicious (literally)*

I used to be a first responder. The place I used to work for required us to be duel certified (medical license for more than one state). This was because, on top of typical 9-1-1 calls, we had special contracts for things like - organ donation rides, NICU baby transfers and other highly delicate patients.

I am not sharing this to be like "big man, do manly things... RAWR". But to paint a picture of how volatile a shift can be. On top of this, the place I worked for was... the worst. Truly. Two brothers with daddy's money really failed to provide a legacy. We were over worked, under valued and taking on more contracts than we had staff. The call volume was back-to-back to back. Always.

One day, after doing our truck and supply check, I walked into dispatch to see who was working and grab radios. While I was in there, someone had found their breaking point with the BS.

They walked in with no words, stood in front of the dispatch supervisor, slammed down a bag of gummy pee-pees (they had to have ordered, which means they planned this which makes it ten times funnier to me) and told everyone to "suck a bag of d!ck$". And then walked out the door without another word.

I wasn't my full self then... but I felt like a proud dad at that moment. Someone used a pun and found their boundaries? Kudos.

For context I (F25) work at a fuel garage. I'm 5'3" and the guy in question was about 6'. I'm in the UK where people pump their fuel and then come inside to pay/pay at a window etc. We have a store connected to our garage and the main till is the centre of all operations, from here we turn on pumps for customers, take fuel payments, bag shopping etc. We have a bunch of rules that we need to follow for turning on pumps when people pick up the pumps. One of these rules is never authorise a pump if the car is running or if a biker is able to just hop on and ride off. The sub rules of this policy means that the bike rider needs to be off the bike, with the engine off and the helmet removed. Its a policy, we need to follow this or any drive offs come out of our wallet.

So anyway, the story. A guy (let's call him A) pulls up on a bike and tries fuelling with his helmet on. I ask him to remove the helmet and he's screaming across the entire forecourt despite me being unable to hear him as I'm in store manning the main till. I continue serving as he barges into the store upon filling his bike.

A: Well thats childish, my helmet is open faced.

Me: well its our policy I'm afraid I cant do nothing about it.

A: well its dumb, it's an open faced helmet.

Me: well it's policy. It doesn't matter what type of helmet it is, i have to follow policy.

A (starting to shout): Well that's childish, I don't believe you.

Me: Well, it's policy. Your fuel comes up to £10 please pay.

A: Well, that's childish.

Me: Your card was declined sir, please insert it. Again, I can't change the policy.

A: Well, I dont believe you. It's childish, it's extremely childish, it's open faced.

Me: Well that's our policy.

A: I don't believe you.

Me: It's still our policy even if you don't believe me.

A (after storming halfway out the door then stomping back towards me): Well, it's fucking childish. I don't believe you.

Me (now visibly frustrated as I had just tried to serve a new customer) You know I hate to agree, but yeah, I do think you're being very childish.

A (before catching on and trailing off: yeah, I know...

Me: glad we agree on something then.

He then stormed off and I hope my backchat made him stop to think and I hope more people are being hired into jobs where they can defend themselves against customers. Because jeez some people are dumb. I've worked customer facing jobs since I was 16 and this job is easily the worst. Since this incident last week ive had 2 other people rant at me about that policy. One even asking me "well what about cars?" And i genuinely had to stare for a second before I could manage to muster up a response of "do you know any car drivers who wear helmets? We make them turn off their engines."

Anyway, on that note i hate people.

Years ago; a buddy of mine told me about when he was doing drywall work at a big housing tract project. (west coast U.S.)

There was more than one crew working there and they had different units assigned to them.

He said that he came to work one morning and found that someone had crapped in the corner of one of his units instead of using the Port-A-Potty. WTF!

He wrote it off, but then found that it continued multiple days afterward.

I don’t remember the specifics, but he knew which crew was doing it and it was malicious, so he decided to get even.

In case some of you don’t know; in the drywall trade there is a device called a “bazooka”. The operator loads it with drywall compound and tape and then runs it over joints to apply the tape and mud at the same time.

My friend went to the job site one morning; found another pile in the corner; scooped it up, and when the time was right, he went to the crew’s unit and packed it into one of their bazookas.

I can only imagine how awesome it was when the operator and crew witnessed the bazooka smearing the nasty paste on the fresh drywall.

Nobody ever confronted him, and his units were never violated again.

Cheers!

I live with my parents in an upper middle class gated neighbourhood with a pretty strict HOA. One of the weird rules it has is cars are not allowed to be parked on the street except if someone gets a guest pass from the HOA. The point is there’s no one parked in the street.

The section of the neighbourhood I live in is a cul da sac, specifically the house on the right side before the semi circle. As a result, a lot of the guests of the two houses in the semi circle park in front of my house (as well as the house across the street but mostly my house). This would be fine if it was a few guests every now and then or during holidays. However, people have been parking in front of our house multiple times a week from before 9 am to past 7 pm. It’s a bit annoying but whatever.

When it gets to be a real pain is on Sundays. Sundays are trash days. Basically every week, I go to roll our trash cans down only to have to put our trash halfway down our part of the sidewalk since at least one person is parked there.

Today was the last straw. I was starting to take the trash can down our driveway only to see a woman getting outside of her car parked literal inches from our driveway. She says hi to another neighbour taking his trash down while walking to a house while I was standing in disbelief with my trash can. There is no other car on the street. I go inside to ask my parents where I should put the cans and my dad says I can put them in front of his car since he won’t be going out tomorrow morning.

As I wheel the trash can by the woman’s car, I get an idea. Since she thought it would be fine to park literal inches away from our driveway to the point that someone pulling out of the garage would have to be careful not to hit her, I’d thought I’d do the same to her.

I take the green waste bin (which is heavier and has branches sticking out) and put it inches away from the front of her car. Far enough that it’s not touching the car but close enough that she either has to back out or move the green waste bin. I then put the trash can a normal distance away from the green waste bin. My dad saw where I put them and said I was definitely passive-aggressive about it but he agreed with my frustration.

Maybe she and my neighbours will get the message about parking right next to our driveway and taking up all the space in front of our when they have the rest of the street to park.

I (17F) have been new to this high school since last year and it's been pretty great, the teachers are kind and are clear at explaining, while the students are also pretty nice, except for this girl, whom I find absolutely insufferable.

Fortunately, she's changed classes this year, which is great, and I'll tell you why:

She was kind of a pick me, always trying to get the attention of the boys in our class by making 67 and Epst3in jokes (like the babies thing being joked about so casually) and so on, which made it hard for me to focus in class, since she sat right behind me. It's important to keep in mind that I'm autistic with ADHD, so it did annoy me even more to hear her nagging.

She had the highest grades in our class, which genuinely made me think "if a girl, who thinks these types of jokes are actually funny, can get grades this high, maybe I've got a shot" and it actually worked, even though I wasn't used to studying, especially not this much. I wish I was making this up, but I actually studied 14 hours straight once and didn't even shower because It was very late, once I was done.

Long story short, we ended up being the very few to have A+ for the biology, Italian and English literature exams.

I will continue to study hard, even if it's not because of this girl, but because the teachers have a lot of trust in me and want to make sure I take full advantage of the support I receive, and to enjoy these last two years, before I eventually graduate.

Edit: for those who are confused that I'll be graduating at 20, It's because Italian students graduate at 19, but I've expressed myself wrongly and was including the last school grade from a few months ago. I apologize for the absolute confusion.

This happened a couple of years ago, but I was reminded of it recently. I worked a job at a really tiny company with a boss who was nice to your face, but completely incompetent. To the point that he literally said “that’s not my job” about running a register that had probably been there as long as he had that he had no idea how to use. When I first started, he had recently moved into his office, which hadn’t been used in a while, and mentioned that he hadn’t found the keys for it yet. Well, this job involved me sitting around by myself for literally hours alone waiting for customers. In the back office, there was a huge basket of random keys that I started going through one day to find what they went to. Not all were successful, but I remembered my boss’s lament and decided to try the unknown keys on his door. Lo and behold, I found a match. Unfortunately for him, I pretty much only worked on Sundays and never saw him in person, so I put the key on an empty keychain I found laying around and stuck it in the back office desk. A couple weeks later, I was fired without notice and without a reason given (technically I was still on probation). I never told my boss I found a key to his office, and to my knowledge he still doesn’t know that said key is sitting maybe 50 feet away from the door. I can only hope that he never finds it.

EDIT: I had been planning of telling my boss about this key before I left and hadn’t had the chance to. I actually really liked this job, but the manager in question was bad enough that I had been thinking about quitting anyway. I have a much better job now. The field I work in is really small and local and I had a friend recently quit their job at this same place explicitly because this guy was so bad at his job. I don’t think about it much, but it made me chuckle knowing that the solution to a minor inconvenience he mentioned is sitting so close and yet so far. Also, I was fired via email on my day off not by my boss, but by a random person in HR I never met before. I called my boss to try to get feedback and arrange a time to turn in the keys I did have, and I got the most corporate generic answer via email. I had every intention of telling him about it before I left and had the chance to, but didn’t.

I live in a block of flats opposite a hospital. Our car park gate has been broken for years and a handful of hospital staff have started parking in resident’s spaces and being snooty when challenged . The residents have had enough of the audacity and entitlement; we’ve written to the hospital, put notes on people’s cars and getting the cars towed would be illegal here in the UK

A few months ago I went to a pride event and saw a heap of rainbow bumper stickers reduced to clear with the slogan “I’m so gay I can’t even drive straight”. So I bought the lot and messaged the other residents, asking me to tell them if there was a car parked in their space that wanted a glow up.

I’ve put three of these fabulously gay bumper stickers on cars so far, Bonus points if they reverse into the space and might not see it immediately.

It’s dumb, it’s petty, but it makes the neighbours laugh, and the guy who got the latest one just contacted the guy who’s space he parked in to say he won’t do it again. 🌈

Honestly, not sure if this qualifies as petty cause everyone ended up having a good laugh about it later on.

I should establish some key things.

1) So tradition in my Christian family is that when we have big gatherings (including aunts/uncles and cousins) for big events like Christmas, new years, or a combined birthday, we have this short time before dinner to read a bible passage, sing one hymn, and pray.

2) This specific year, the youngest member in our family was my niece from my brother, who we’ll just call…. I dunno…. Sara. She was 2 at the time and had a good grasp on speaking.

3) The prayer before dinner is usually a rotational duty that’s shared among my grandma’s children. That being, my dad, two of his brothers, and one sister. While my uncles and aunt like to keep prayer short, my dad has a habit of making the prayer quite long. One time we was clocked at praying for well over five minutes (It was during Covid and 75% of his prayer was for health and safety for the world)

This one particular Christmas, it was my dad’s turn to pray for dinner. About a good 2 minutes in, Sara couldn’t wait any longer and said out loud “Grandpa pray too long. Everyone is hungry.” My dad immediately stopped praying and was just silent from embarrassment. Prayer ended right there and we all started dinner.

At the end of the night, we were relieved to realize my dad wasn’t upset about the whole thing. But since then, he’s kept his prayers under a minute. All because my adorable niece called him out on it.

I am very proficient at parking my small car. I live in a condo with underground parking. My neighbor's parking is shit and seems to only give it one shot before calling it parked. He'll sometimes be a couple inches from the line, or sometimes touching it. It doesn't bother my parking process, but it annoys me when people park poorly.

So, every time I catch him near the line, I'll park close to the line, too. Since he also backs up, if I park as close to the from the line as him, he won't be able to get in the car without going through the passenger side.

He'll park properly for a while, but he will slip. To my advantage, I work from home a couple days a week. If I catch him on the day before I have to WFH then my car may not move for 2 days. I think after all this, his parking has gotten consistently better, but he he'll still crappily park on occasion.

EDIT: grammar

For those who want to follow along on a map, this is in San Francisco ... I am traveling east on California Street from 15th Avenue toward 14th Avenue. A half block past 14th Avenue is Park Presidio which is a main commute artery running north/south. North, it goes to the Marina district (where I was headed) and Marin County. South, it goes to the Richmond district, the Sunset district, and cities south of SF. It was rush hour, and cars were backing up at lights in all four directions.

There is a turn lane on California to turn left (north) onto Park Presidio. One block north is Lake Street and then Park Presidio turns into a freeway, no exits for about a mile.

So, I see that California Street is way backed up waiting to turn left onto Park Presidio. So I pass the cars in that lane and fortunately the person in that lane who *could* have blocked 14th Avenue has left enough room for cars to cross California on 14th.

I figure I will turn left onto 14th Avenue in front of that car, then turn right onto Lake, and 1/4 block from there I can turn left onto Park Presidio and get right onto the freeway portion of it, and even if cars are backed up waiting to turn onto Park Presidio, at least I will have gained a block of progress.

So, I signal to turn left onto 14th, traffic is not going anywhere so I am not cutting anyone off in the left turn lane, but as I inch my nose out all of a sudden some guy in a beat up old car (you know the kind, so old, and always parked in the sun, that the gloss has completely worn off) ... comes roaring up California from the same direction I had come from (15th Avenue) except he is driving in the opposite lane. He honks wildly at me as he sees me proceeding legally on 14th across California, then makes a wild left turn in front of me onto 14th, cutting me off, then roars off toward Lake Street. I follow him (since that's where I am going anyway), he turns right onto Lake and just like on California there is already a line waiting in the left turn lane to get onto Park Presidio. He is probably car #5 and I am car #6 right behind him.

The traffic lights favor Park Presidio so the red light is very very long, we are all sitting there, then our light turns green. Nobody moves in our lane because pedestrians are now crossing Park Presidio, then when the pedestrians are clear, cars are coming from the opposite side of Park Presidio. Finally, as the flashing counter is counting down, three cars ahead of us are able to turn left. The countdown is now at 5 seconds and I realize that a$$hole (AH) and I are going to have to wait through yet another light change.

Then I get a flash of inspiration, check the lane to my right, nobody is coming, so I signal, get into that lane, hit my accelerator, and cross Park Presidio legally on the yellow, leaving AH stuck in the line as his light turns red. Then, knowing AH can see me do this, I go 1/4 block farther to where there's a break in the double yellow line at the T-intersection of Lake & Funston (which would be 13th Avenue if there were one, but I guess the City founders were superstitious), make a legal U-turn (this all happens in mere seconds), then zip back the 1/4 block to Park Presidio. At this point, there are three lanes of traffic on my left waiting on Park Presidio to cross Lake and get onto the freeway, but here in San Francisco there is always a delay between one light turning red and the perpendicular light turning green. So I have maybe a second or so to come to a legal stop, throw on my turn signal, and turn right onto Park Presidio before the oncoming three lanes of traffic overtakes me.

So I do that!

By the time AH was able to make his turn onto Park Presidio? I was over a mile away.

Felt very good!

A couple of years ago, my family and I lived in an apartment complex that had been steadily going down hill due to constant management changes. We went from a gated community to the gate being removed. It got to the point the police would only come of they could guarantee that there was a violent crime as noise complaints were nearly constant, which brings me to my situation.

We were there for about 6 years from mid-2016 to mid-2021. We had neighbors move in and out so that was nothing new. One set of neighbors started off fine like most people. We had never met or seen them, but we knew they were new because it had been nearly silent in that unit for a few months before a moving truck came in. Hearing voices and the occasional music and ahem nightly extracurriculars was normal for this complex. But these people liked to party at random times throughout the week. Sometimes it was on the weekends, which we didn't mind too much, and sometimes it could be like 3am on a Monday morning, and anywhere in between. And I mean these were the types of parties you would expect for New Years.

For a few weeks, we had complained to the leasing office about it. They said they would handle it but nothing had changed

We even tried to go to the opposite side of the building to find their door and ask them to turn it down, but the complex was built in a way that you couldn't hear noise from another unit outside the door, but it was easily heard inside. Because they always did it at crazy early hours, we couldn't get anyone to come check it out. We even recorded the noise using a voice recorder on our phones and nothing changed.

After one VERY bad weekend, I had a nasty idea. We were going to be out for the entire weekend, so I decided fire with fire. I booted up my computer, found a 12-hour loop of a very irritating song (it was either Rebecca Black's Friday or Baby Shark, I can't remember), downloaded it with audio software, and put it into Windows Media Player to repeat once it was finished. I also bought some speakers and put them right against the wall for maximum effect. Right before we left, I queued it up just loud enough that it couldn't be heard by anyone else.

I believe we went to an amusement park and stayed at a hotel. When we got back two days later with the music still playing. The complex never said a word about the incident. We didn't have any more issues with noise out of them. About a month later, we saw a moving truck, and it was silent in that unit for a few months. I've never lived in an apartment complex since.

ETA: My wife just got back from her trip. She confirmed it was Rebecca Black's Friday.

2nd ETA: I'm a fan of Oz's Vault, LostGenre, Charlotte Dobre, and Mark Narrations, and I realized I had one good petty revenge story. Also, this was in Charlotte NC. A simple search around the University City Area can lead to the complex I'm talking about.