r/roommateproblems • u/Galaxystar1990 • Sep 06 '26
Is my housemate stalking/following me?
Is my housemate stalking me?
she moved in a month ago around end of July.
A week after she moved in she approached me in the kitchen I was getting food ready she said to me can I ask you something? I said what, she then asked me do you speak to the property manager (not mentioning any names as it’s confidential ? I said no (property manager ) manages the property for the landlord it's an hmo, she made accusations towards him within the first week of moving in) I saw the screenshots of the messages from another housemate she had sent to her, she was calling him a gaslighter and that he lied to her amongst the other things, property manager has never met the new tenant, he lives in Manchester) works for a company that manages the house for the landlord, we pay rent to them and they pay
I think she also follows me around the house I come downstairs from my room or come into the kitchen if Ive been out seconds later she comes out of her room into the lounge/kitchen.
on Monday morning I was awake early as I was going out for the day and was sorting my breakfast out seconds later she came out of her room and stood next to me..... remember her standing next to me/being close to me cos I turned away when she spoke to me when she said to me you're up early is everything ok?
then I came back last night at 11:14pm, I was in the kitchen, roughly around 60 seconds later I heard her door go and I thought to myself here we go again cos I knew that she was about to walk through the door and she did
so is she following me or am I imagining things or going mad? But I’m putting 2 and 2 together going back to the time where she upfront asked me can I ask you something and asked if I spoke to the property manager
sonetimes it’s best to get a strangers output and hear their thoughts but I definitely know that something isn’t right
any advice would be appreciated
thanks in advance…..
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u/SomeBreakfast210 Sep 06 '26
Are you just being paranoid for no reason? Let’s experiment a little. Try it at 5–6 AM. Once you open the door, walk out for a bit and then stop. As soon as she follows you, do a quick U-turn back to your room and stay there. Don’t come back out. That should give you your answer.
The frightening part is, is that we cannot look into her mind or know why she is doing it. Why is she watching you? Keeping track of your routine? Memorising when you leave your room and when you return? What exactly is she paying such close attention to?
Don’t wait until something big happens to decide whether a situation is dangerous. By then, it’s too late.
Take triple precautions when the pattern itself starts making you feel unsafe.
If this experiment confirms that she is deliberately timing herself around your movements, OP, my advice is simple: move out.
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u/Galaxystar1990 Sep 06 '26
I was up last Monday early cos I was going out for the day, I was sorting my breakfast out when she came out of her room and she said to me ur up early is everything ok…..so yeh
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u/Galaxystar1990 Sep 06 '26
She doesn’t fully close her room door, my room is on first floor…,,hers is on the ground floor, first room when you come in…
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u/Galaxystar1990 Sep 06 '26
And within a week of her moving in (she moved in end of July) she approached me when I was getting my dinner and she upfront asked me can I ask you something? I said what
She then said do you speak to James ( James managed the property for the landlord) she made accusations towards him calling him a gaslighter and said he lies and that James told her that he liked her (James has never met her, he doesn’t even in the same area as her)1
u/Galaxystar1990 Sep 09 '26
It’s only just come out in local news that she glasses a ex colleague who was 6 months pregnant at the time who she used to work with as she held a grudge towards her and blamed her for losing her job
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u/SomeBreakfast210 Sep 07 '26 edited Sep 08 '26
Ok, thank you for the additional context, as there are now several things that reasonably make you and I uncomfortable.
“You’re up early, is everything okay?” This seems completely innocent on its own, but she’s trying to dig information out from you, and why exactly does she want this information? God knows if it’s a wolf in sheep’s skin to start & spread a nasty rumour about you. Some people just love to gossip about others because they’ve nothing else going for them in their lives.
More concerning is that within a week of moving in, she approached you about James and made an apparently bizarre claim that he had said he liked her, despite apparently never having met her.
The whole situation with James would make me all the more cautious and suspicious. I’d keep my distance from her rather than get pulled into whatever shenanigans she’s up to.
Keep your door locked, don’t share any more information about your schedule, document anything objectively unusual, and keep your landlord/property manager in the loop of whatever is happening with her. If her oddity persists despite you clearly keeping your guard up, I’d say run for the hills.
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u/Galaxystar1990 Sep 07 '26
I don’t know tbf but I’m
100% convinced that she is stalking me, yes there was a time where I thought I was being paranoid and maybe overthinking it but it’s been happening a few times since plus since she asked me a week after moving in if I speak to James like Wtaf she doesn’t even know me….,been talking about it with my other housemate said that it’s like she’s obsessed with me and thats it’s starting to get weird and it isn’t normal
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u/Potential_Bison3170 Sep 06 '26
I experienced something super similar to this and I had to stop being friendly to her and moved out. Everytime I went to the kitchen, she'd be right there and wouldn't leave me along until I left. I could barely cook or enjoy a meal in peace. I confronted her about it three times and the first two were kind conversations. The last one - I felt bad, but i had to get mean. I had to show her how frustrating it was for me to not have a moment to myself while cooking/eating. The girl confessed to being needy for attention because she doesn't like to be alone. Im the opposite. I appreciate my solitude. Have a conversation with her. Sit her down and tell her your noticing this pattern and is keeping you from enjoying what you like to do in peace. Set boundaries of when she can approach you.