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u/PurpleTieflingBard 2d ago
There was a guy like this and he came to enough events that I invited him to join the local group chat, because that's just what you do, right?
then he started to show up to basically every event, but no one really liked him and it got to the point where I had to like sit down and tell him people weren't cool with him, it felt like a teenage breakup and I felt like such an asshole
We're all ~27 year olds
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u/Clean-Menu7943 2d ago
that's very nice of you. i think most groups would just be passive aggressive as a whole and clown him behind closed doors until he got the hint, stopped coming around, and killed himself
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u/PurpleTieflingBard 2d ago
Yeah, I sorta was given an ultimatum of "tell him or we make a second group chat without him" and I think that would have been high school shit
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u/nullerdamen 2d ago
What was wrong with him
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u/PurpleTieflingBard 2d ago
The main reason I feel like an asshole was that he didn't do anything wrong, he was just not a vibe match, he had different humour from everyone else, would go for low-hanging fruit and would make jabs at people that he was not close enough to make.
He didn't do anything wrong in particular, or like, say anything out of pocket, just multiple people approached me saying "I don't like this guy" and since I brought him in, it was my responsibility to kick him out.
We're all a specific type of autistic and he isn't.
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u/DeliciousBlueberry20 2d ago
Your group is so real for that. I was on the other side of this and people just were not honest with me. I was introduced to this group by a friend who then moved out of the country, and when he left the entire group suddenly stopped inviting me to things. I confronted them too, like ādid I do something wrong, whatās going on with you guysā and they denied that there was any sort of problem or disconnect! Come to find out, someone told the friend who originally introduced me that they all thought I was a huge bitch because of some jokes I had made that didnāt land. I was unaware for such a long time :/Ā
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u/shinebeams 2d ago
This is such a rare thing these days. People would rather reform the entire group chat without the person than tell someone they aren't vibing and remove them.
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u/acrylicquartz 2d ago
That must have been incredibly hard to do. Genuinely don't think I could, even if it's the mature thing, so I find it very impressive of you!
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u/PurpleTieflingBard 2d ago edited 2d ago
I told him we should talk in person, then we both got a drink, I told him the news, we had a 10 minute chat about whatever, then I went to the bathroom and threw up LMAO.
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u/Flat-Veterinarian569 2d ago
as an autistic guy this guy you are describing is how I feel with other people
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u/PurpleTieflingBard 2d ago
I'm autistic too, it really did just feel like the "Autistic people when they interact with someone who has a different type of autism to them" image
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u/Kindly_Breadfruit975 2d ago
How did he take it?Ā
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u/PurpleTieflingBard 2d ago
Well in the moment, then a bit messy, then he moved on.
I don't know many details because we stopped interacting and the stuff I do know isn't mine to air.
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u/VirelynHushx 1d ago
why did you add him in the first place though, sounds like a nightmare having to be the one to kick someone out of a group chat at that age
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u/Media_Adept 2d ago
Aw shit, I had something similar where I invited this guy to a group event, but never mentioned anything about the chat because he torpedo'd the last one. Then one of the other friends mentions the chat gets his information and adds him. Whelp. At least I can't take full responsibility on this one.
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u/janjan1515 2d ago
are these events public? How do you kick someone out of that?
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u/PurpleTieflingBard 2d ago
"Local group chat" is a group of friends in the local area, the events are like, playing sports together, getting drinks or whatever.
He can still do those things, just not with us.
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u/chaandra 2d ago
People are so quick to act old now, meanwhile thereās 60 year olds at the pub having a great time until late into the night
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u/presearchingg 1d ago
Thereās an old Willie Nelson looking guy in my city who rides around blaring music on his bicycle all night with his shades on. I guess recently he made a friend (also a Willie Nelson type) because now there are two of them. I walked by them the other night and thought man I hope Iām doing something like that when Iām old lol
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u/Abject-Blackberry723 2d ago
I know we are in our 30's but do you want to meet at 9pm for an activity that takes 3 hours
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u/Top-Brush6781 2d ago
I never understood this mentality. I'm in my 40s and don't mind an occasional late night with the homies
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u/Abject-Blackberry723 1d ago
You may be older in a physical way but im older in like an artistic lynchian way
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u/wytnesschance01 1d ago
I'm super confused rn, do you mean you don't go out to events or anything?
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u/Abject-Blackberry723 1d ago
no, i'm still going off of the original post in which the person inviting you is somebody you don't want to hang out with to begin with
if its my actual friends I'll meet up at an ungodly hour and slam down zyn's and energy drinks to hangoutmaxx as long as possible until my body shuts me down forcibly
but if its somebody I dont like that much, fuck no i'm not doing anything that late in the day with you
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u/tiny-but-spicy 2d ago
46 mins later "oh sorry only just seen this!" - FTFY