Dating sucks rn because nobody makes me as happy as I make myself

[u/LeftHvndLvne]

I never considered how ending my last relationship and doing the whole “be single, work on myself, develop better standards” thing would make dating feel impossible. It’s not like anybody I’ve tried to date has really done anything wrong they just haven’t done enough for me to actually wanna be in a relationship again. Feels like I need to enjoy my independence less if I’m ever gonna get close to somebody on that level.

[u/ApeBlender]

You're in a really good spot. Whereas before you might find yourself in a relationship for fear of being alone, now you will only end up in a relationship with someone who truly improves your life.

[u/takealookatthesehand → u/ApeBlender]

Absolutely. I don’t want to phrase it like “you just haven’t found the right person yet” but if/when you do, it’ll be a no brainer. Otherwise, enjoy having an independent and fulfilling live that you’ve earned with hard work.

[u/millimillenaire]

I’m a guy but I agree. I’m consistently oscillating between wanting a new relationship and questioning if I actually have the room for someone else in my life when I’m doing for me, something I didn’t for a long time

[u/Charming-Orange-7563]

If my current relationship doesn’t work out, i think i’m going to become a voluntarily celibate woman. Most people are exhausting and not relationship material.

[u/-Drux-]

Feel this in my soul. I think I'm fundamentally just a solitary person and it's tough to grapple in a world as interconnected as ours.

[u/souredcream]

i honestly prefer contemplating in my house by myself vs talking to most people

[u/JeffVanderqueer]

I'm slowly sinking into this. I'm more easy-going, positive, and humorous than most people and it feels like being in a relationship always ends up with me being a punching bag for my partner's negative feelings. Obviously people vent about work and have personal stress which is fine but I feel like it's very rare to find someone who tries to empathize or be fair to you even when you disagree.

[u/battybatt]

I have been like this ever since I started dating for real (late bloomer). It's a good position to be in, but it's also frustrating. Like on the one hand, I see a lot of people my age breaking up after spending far too long in a shitty relationship. On the other hand, I like being in a relationship. I want a life partner. 

It's not hard to find mutual attraction, but I have high standards for how I feel in a relationship. They don't feel that high - I've had a good reason for ending every relationship I've had - but compared to what I see my peers enduring, my standards are sooo much higher that it feels impossible.

Right now casual sex and an occasional fwb are working for me. But I know I'll have to stop that if i want to get serious about dating again.

[u/JeffVanderqueer → u/battybatt]

Sometimes I'm jealous of my friends who have been in the same relationship for years or are married and then I think about it and realize I would not want to be with any of their SOs.

[u/kallocain-addict]

a man needs to bring you flowers while dressed as a mediaeval knight in armour before they are worthy