Day 1 again

[u/EleavtorMusic28]

Trying to remind myself that any time off is good time, and to be proud of what I accomplished, learned, and did during the 25 days I was just sober.

Unfortunately I spent the past 4-5 days deep in it with beer, wine, and whiskey telling myself that I’d hop back on the wagon soon, so I might as well get my moneys worth and drink a whole bunch. No surprise, I now feel like shit, sick and greasy and lost. It only took a couple days of drinking to feel like that again. I think that’s another important reminder for me, that the days of drinking “normally” waking up with a mild hangover and going about my day are over. I’ve advanced past that stage now and it does not work for me.

I found myself in the airport, sneak chugging beers in the bathroom and working out the logistics in my head of how drunk I needed to be to get through the flight. But it’s a bottomless pit and there is not enough booze in the world to fulfill me.

I worked the sobriety muscles though, learning how to say no when it was presented to me and feeling good about those choices. But of course it is truly one day at a time and tomorrow’s abstinence is not promised. And it is not determined by yesterday’s adherence. I know my life can be so much more than what it’s been, I won’t quit quitting ❤️

[u/mutedcashmere]

those 25 days still count, don't quit quitting

[u/EleavtorMusic28 → u/mutedcashmere]

They honestly felt different. I wasn’t scared off by the boredom, I didn’t lock myself in the house to avoid drinks, I just said no to them because I really didn’t want them. Sobriety feels possible thanks to those 25 days. I like it way better on this side!

[u/smcwill63]

There’s no shame in that at all my friend. A lapse doesn’t have to be a relapse. Iwndwyt

[u/UnclassifiedPresence → u/smcwill63]

I think it’s definitely important for people to know the distinction between the two. If you get right back on the wagon relatively quickly and stay focused on quitting, it’s not a full on relapse

[u/smcwill63 → u/UnclassifiedPresence]

Smart recovery emphasizes this, many people have slip ups

[u/sabakim777]

"I now feel like shit, sick and greasy and lost."

Well, sometimes you have to remind yourself what kind of shit that is, don't you?

[u/RebornInClarity]

Your self awareness and honesty are powerful. Those are qualities I notice in those who are able to put down the bottle. I think the toughest part is just finding a new life once you get sober that brings you meaning away from what drinking did, I struggle with this still at over a couple years sober.

Keep searching deep and you’ll find the answers

[u/EleavtorMusic28 → u/RebornInClarity]

Thank you 🙏 I appreciate those words. I think at this point, the habit is still a bit strong. Not drinking still feels like the abnormal thing to do. But I don’t want to drink necessarily. To me, that’s a good sign. I don’t know if I ever truly felt that way.

[u/Sea-Connection9232]

I did dry January a couple of times before quitting and I honestly feel like the learnings from those shorter periods of sobriety helped me when I was ready to put it down for good. The moments of clarity and calm, the brighter eyes and brighter mood, gave me something to look forward to. Any time you spend sober is building that muscle. I think you should feel proud of 25 days and take stock of what you were able to accomplish sober during that time. Take care and IWNDWYT.

[u/RubeGoldbergingIt]

Eternal quitter right here with ya. Been quitting for five years now but each time I get much better at it. Keep flexing!

[u/Necessary_Jaguar5887]

I’m drink need thys