How to sleep

[u/Ma1arkey]

Hello all, fist time posting. I've recently quit drinking at the start of October with the help of Alan carr's stop drinking book, this is the longest I've been sober in about 12 years. I had a habit of getting drunk enough every night that I would easily fall asleep when I laid in bed.

Now that I'm sober I can't sleep. If I lay in bed I lay there awake until the sun comes up and end up getting an hour or two of sleep before I have to start the day. Quick naps have been essential as I am miserable. I try melatonin which helps me initially fall asleep but I'm wide awake a couple hours later and toss and turn until I fall asleep and have to wake up an hour or two later for work, etc. I have tried sleeping pills (antihistamine) which kind of work but I wake up many times during the night and then feel hung over the next day.

What methods have you all had to learn how to become normal sleepers again? It's been so tempting to just grab a drink to ease me into sleep but I don't want to start drinking again. Sorry for the long post.

Tldr: been drunk every night for over a decade. Now sober and don't know how to fall asleep. Help

[u/RatzzFace]

Well, you have trained your body over the period of 12 years, and like most things (not just sleep, but your new life), it will take time to adjust.

Undoing all that is going to take time.

Be patient... Things will, and do change.

[u/crazyhorse198 → u/RatzzFace]

How much time? I’m struggling with the same problem. Before I quit I was daily drinking for 10 years.

[u/DetailMysterious4797]

I’m not speaking for myself but the people I do know who get good sleep have a routine. 8pm shower, have cup of tea, turn off all lights, turn off phone, read book, etc. I think that would help. And nice sheets and a weighted blanket and a story line for bedtime. Waking up in the middle of night, I’ve heard this is what ancient humans did? So don’t be hard on yourself, although it’s all easier said than done. I hope you get good sleep

[u/efficientaficionado → u/DetailMysterious4797]

I think reading a physical book before bed is probably one of the better sleep hacks for people suffering from restlessness/insomnia.

[u/iamnotarobotniks → u/efficientaficionado]

I also found listening to audio plays hugely helpful.

[u/Ok-Pomegranate7496]

The first few weeks are the worst. You start to dread and think you will never sleep again. Just keep pushing through and sleep will come

[u/Euphoric-Still860]

I fear you just ride the first bit out. At least that’s what I did, but someone else might have better advice than me. I could not sleep at all. Same experience

[u/ineedaclearhead]

Your story sounds similar. I drank as a means to sleep when I was living on my own in my 20's. This gave me the added bonus of doing something I loved to do every night! In my late 40's, and now drinking considerably less, I know this was a very silly way to spend my 20's.

Sleeping wise, what has done it for me over the past few years, is the "safety net" of knowing that even if I have the most terrible night's sleep ever - as in lying there awake all night - it's still going to feel infinitely better the next morning, versus drinking to pretty much blackout then being a zombie the next day.

It's that thought that ironically actually releases the stress, and then helps me to sleep.

Maybe, when you're next able to, try staying awake all night and see how you feel the next morning? Compare it to those awful hangover mornings/afternoons/whenever your drunken body clock told you now is the time to suffer?

Hope this helps.

[u/Zumbah]

Just gotta keep trucking eventually you'll get it down

[u/GuavaFabulous6632]

1. Give it some time.
2. Get some exercise - even just walking along with a you tube video and doing standing workouts counts.
3. Go outside first thing in the morning and spend even 10 or 15 minutes with the sun on your face.

Your body needs a reset. This will help!

[u/Cold-Explanation8213]

So you are 17 days AF. I researched a lot during the early weeks. I read that cortisone spikes caused sleep interference. My sleep took about 4 weeks to get better. In the meantime you may just have to suffer through. Last night I slept 9 hr straight. Didn't even wake for a bathroom trip. I hope you give yourself time to let your brain adjust.

[u/sauceboss_the_third]

I like to remember that even a terrible sleep sober, I’m going to wake up with more energy then after an 8 hour sleep when drinking

[u/Solid_Anxiety_658 → u/sauceboss_the_third]

Very good point!

[u/Euphoric-Still860]

Your body is used to the same thing for the so long it’s adjusting

[u/kaidik]

For me, its magnesium - both topical and oral. And CBD

[u/Mammoth_Ad1962]

Exercise during the day and take magnesium glycinate before bed.

[u/Tight-Activity2470 → u/Mammoth_Ad1962]

I came here to comment this... Works for me perfectly

[u/crazyhorse198 → u/Mammoth_Ad1962]

I’m going to order some. What dosage do you take? I’m seeing different mg levels on Amazon.

[u/Tight-Activity2470]

I take magnesium glycinate an hour before bed followed by a glycine just before bed. This combo sets me off to sleep and keeps me asleep. This doesn't work for everyone but has for me for last 3 months. (Google this combo, explains more) good luck

[u/404_username_unknown]

It took me a good 2-3 months before I got a good night sleep. But it’s worth it in the end.

[u/KookyKlutz]

I found that only using my bed for sleep helps. I will sit on the couch and read or listen to music/audiobook until I feel tired enough and go to bed. If I can't sleep within 20 mins, or I wake up and can't get back to sleep within 20 mins, I get up and read again. Low backlight, non-stimulating actives (i.e. no phone) work the best. It doesn't always work, but as others have said, your body got used to a depressant for sleep - or a full on pass out as was my case.

[u/abb0abb0]

I took ages to stop worrying about it , everyone else here talked about the amazing sleep and I just lie in bed awake !

I still don’t sleep well but now I don’t worry about it , I take a kindle to bed and read , if I wake early I get up and have a cup of tea , a little day light I sit on the balcony and watch the still of the night , I watch the sun rise , none of these things I ever did when I drank , I quite like waking very early naturally and enjoying that part of the day/night

Hope my story helps you put sleep in perspective

[u/Ukstern]

I'd definitely try to establish a routine and start going to bed at the same time each night. As others have suggested, try reading or listening to relaxing music, or an audio book. There is an app called Headspace that do really good sleep stories; I'm not sure how much free content they offer anymore but most are available on YouTube. They really helped when I was struggling to sleep in the first week or so.

[u/theallstarkid]

I just stayed awake for about 3 days straight and finally I passed out. So the trick was to try and stay awake. I’d go to the gym at midnight. After about 3 weeks I was sleeping like a baby. Might as well do something other than just lay in bed staring into darkness.

[u/queeninthepnw]

Good sleep hygiene helps. Only using the bed for sleep, and if you can’t sleep, get up and go to the couch or something. Don’t do anything active, but something calming like reading a book. No screens after a certain time. I like to start winding down with cleansing my face, moisturising, brushing my teeth, etc until I’m ready for bed.

I have also had Chinese herbal medicine help me immensely with insomnia. If there is an acupuncturist in your area who practices herbal medicine they may be able to help.

[u/GuavaFabulous6632]

Also: bedroom at 68° or below. No caffeine after noon. Read a physical book or on a kindle when you lie down to sleep. No phone scrolling. No TV in the bedroom. No eating 3 hours before going to bed.

[u/Solid_Anxiety_658]

The first few days of sobriety, I took Xanax to help me fall asleep. I had such bad anxiety from why withdrawal that it was keeping me awake. It’s great that you’re talking to your doctor. Reading. Podcasts. Excercise. Think of yourself as a newborn baby learning to sleep again. It takes time, but you will get there! Be patient with yourself 💕

[u/Xyxyxxxx4]

Perhaps ask your doctor about melatonin? It occurs naturally in your body and sometimes our bodies don’t make enough. Where I live it’s an over the counter medicine. I take 10 mg nightly although most people start lower, like 2 or 3 mg. Good luck!

[u/karen0933]

Try Magnesium Glycinate works wonders

[u/sasha7777]

Having a good sleep routine like others have suggested does help. For myself, I have a prescription of Trazadone which Drs often prescribe to addicts / alcoholics as it is not habit forming. I wake up throughout the night and it helps me fall back asleep. Maybe it would help you too.

[u/Spirited_Permit_4066]

I've also been a habitual drinker in order to go to bed person so this is my routine that I found really worked in the beginning. Ambient sounds at half volume really drowns out the thoughts and the slight panic of not being able to sleep, magnesium tincture just two drops before you lay down it definitely helps me stay asleep. I used a ton of sleep guided meditation too just free on youtube or spotify that I find useful during certain spikes of insomnia, but ive also always stuck by if you just do simple tasks in your mind, like boiling water or making a sandwhich then I eventually always drift off.

Hope this helps, im rooting for you!

[u/gamerdudeNYC]

Whenever I quit I randomly itch out of nowhere as soon as I try to go to sleep, not anytime throughout the day, only when I try to sleep.

The best way is to also give up caffeine, the first few days suck and you’ll probably get a headache but I’m two weeks off caffeine and I’m sleepy by 9:00pm, not just exhausted but legit sleepy.

I can get in bed and be asleep within 5mins and get a fuller sleep but still not great.

The bad thing is so much stuff has caffeine so I basically only drink water.

[u/Beulah621]

You don’t have to do anything except not drink. Your body knows how to heal and it just needs some time. Real, restorative sleep is coming soon, and you will recognize it when it does. One of the biggest benefits of sobriety is that glorious, restful sleep.

[u/Korben_5th_is_love]

Look at supplementing with GABA.

How GABA and Glutamate Drive Alcohol Withdrawal
Alcohol boosts GABA: Alcohol acts as a central nervous system depressant by increasing the activity of GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid), the brain's primary inhibitory neurotransmitter that slows down nerve cell activity and promotes calm.

The brain adapts (tolerance): With chronic heavy drinking, the brain tries to keep balance by reducing its number of GABA receptors and ramping up glutamate (the brain's primary excitatory neurotransmitter).

The withdrawal imbalance: When you suddenly stop drinking, the artificial GABA boost disappears, leaving your brain with too little GABA inhibition and an excess of active glutamate.

Hyper-excitable state: This imbalance shifts the brain into a hyper-excitable state, causing withdrawal symptoms like severe anxiety, insomnia, tremors, elevated heart rate, and dangerous risks like seizures or delirium tremens.

[u/ResponsibleEar3704]

Try eating 2 kiwis an hour before you wanna sleep. They contain loads of melatonin so knock me (a long-term mild insomniac) out

[u/fiero-fire]

Melatonin and magnesium at first

[u/iheartcockss]

Time. Sleep is the hardest (and cruelest) part of newfound sobriety for many. Our brains are so used to chemicals helping them shutdown that they need to re-learn how to naturally shut down. My advice is number one routine. Do the same things, same times, night after night. Number 2 is melatonin. It may not keep you asleep yet but it will with time.

[u/Lower_Comfortable_33]

Man I still struggle with sleep I don’t know if u indulge but what has really helped me a ton is THC or the CBD drinks and edibles. I do smoke weed very responsibly but with these I get a more natural big block of sleep where I’m not waking every damn 45 min. Kiwi fruit is good as well….

[u/Dollaz]

Take magnesium glycinate nightly. Also smoking a couple of bowls and rubbing one out helps a lot too.

[u/AKA_Squanchy]

Crazy how we all have our different journeys. If I drink I crash easily but always wake up around 3am with high anxiety and can’t get back to sleep. If I don’t drink I go right to sleep and wake with the sun.

[u/No_Expression_578]

I've had sleep problems for a long time....even since before I started drinking and also used to use alcohol to get to sleep.....then that became drinking whenever I was awake too but I'd use nightly drinking as an excuse to get to sleep. In the end my alcoholism was so bad it wasn't a proper sleep....I'd come to most of the time soaked in my own piss.

When I first got sober my insomnia got really bad and sometimes I was up for 3 days straight then get a couple of hours then back to not being able to sleep. My psychiatrist was worried that this pattern would make me go back to drinking and prescribed me a sleeping pill called Zopiclone. I think it's only supposed to be prescribed short term e.g. a week or something to get you by and into a sleeping pattern but I've been on it without alcohol for months and it helps me fall asleep and although I wake up frequently during the night it lets me get a few hours.

[u/Quirky-Position8996]

It will get better. You will eventually have much better sleep than before. Just give it time

[u/Murky-Courage2477]

Magnesium and ibuprofen PM

[u/judgeridesagain]

Gabapentin

[u/NeverPlayNice]

Unisom, 2mg melatonin, ashwaganda gummies and chamomile tea.. then lay down in darkness not with a screen on. You will pass out I promise