I (16F) got invited to go party hopping on Halloween all night with my close friend group. I said no because my parents don't let me stay out late at all or do anything Halloween or party related and my religion doesn't let me drink so I wouldn't do much at those parties.
All my friends, including the goody-two-shoes with really strict parents are going and they managed this by making fake school trip forms and having their parents sign it.
Now I'm just feeling so left out thinking about it.
I don't even want to drink, I just want to hang out with the people I love at night and be wild and free without my parents watching me or thinking about school or my job or my commitments or studying or anything.
They already have so many better memories together compared to me because I sometimes get left out, not because they don't invite or include me because they often do, but because I can't come with them. Yes we go to cinemas and the mall and but I feel left out for never haven gone to a party or had a boyfriend or wear whatever I want. Not because I haven't had the opportunity, it's because I'm not allowed.
I love my parents and I know I'll understand them later but I'm feeling restricted. I love my religion as it's helped me out through hard times but I'm feeling restricted. Maybe I'm a bad person for saying those things.
And most of all, I want to live these normal teenage experience things. I love my friends and want to do all those things you see in the movies or on social media of everyone hanging out at night or having sleepovers or going wherever or doing whatever or wearing whatever with the people you love. Idk.
My mom said I looked sad and I started crying and told her all of my feelings about this and I just got reminded on why I don't tell my parents anything. She was just saying she thought I had matured by now but it seems I haven't and that it's wrong to feel FOMO for things that are wrong and that I will ruin my entire life by doing anything slightly rebellious and all my friends are ruining their lives. I'm sorry I'm not a perfect machine daughter who feels wrong feelings sometimes. My friends are great students too. I've been feeling this way since maybe 8th grade and this was just the straw that broke the back. Also she told me to Uninstall instagaram but I can't uninstall everyone talking about something I didn't go to or that odd feeling od my other friends being closer through more shared experiences with each other than with me.
Again she asked me a couple hours later if I was okay and I just said yes but what I really wanted to say was that I hate school and wanted to do this one normal teenage thing with the people I love to feel carefree. I study so much and have so many restrictions and commitments I just want to feel normal for once.
I overheard my mom tell my dad they think the devil had got me. I didn't care to eavesdrop any further.
Oh well. That is my rant. Thank you to anyone who reads, any advice or comments is greatly appreciated.