r/therewasanattempt • u/ExactlySorta • 1d ago

to keep a job for a week

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3.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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1.0k

u/SpellCheck19 1d ago

Not even half a Scaramucci

237

u/negativepositiv 1d ago

I was about to ask how many Scaramuccis that was.

214

u/Optimal_Risk_6411 1d ago

0.45 of a Scaramucci

135

u/rexjoropo 1d ago

Or, we have a new unit of measure, called a Zacharia

55

u/negativepositiv 1d ago

365 day calendar with a banana for scale.

23

u/just_lurking_Ecnal 1d ago

Well, it does work out nicer as 73 Zac instead of 38.18 Moochi

44

u/Self-Comprehensive 1d ago

One Zac is half a mooch

10

u/GloomyIndividual3965 1d ago

"Give me 5 'Muccis for a Truss, we'd say"

9

u/JimmyCat11-11 1d ago

Well, that’s when we wore onions on our belt. Which was the style at the time.

1

u/lexnklinke 5h ago

Ah a Simpsons reference while inventing a new even dumber measuring system than imperial. Perfection

Sidenote How would we call it?

9

u/Djinnaz 1d ago

I like this.

0

u/Wine_runner 1d ago

I prefer the "Zacharlia".

2

u/footsteps71 1d ago

My name is Zach, and this is disturbing

1

u/kind_bros_hate_nazis 23h ago

Yeah literally

7

u/Flipnotics_ 1d ago

2 Zacharia's = 1 Scaramucci

1

u/consternatedconcern 1d ago

Maybe we could get her to do the fandango?

4

u/EarthIsInOuterSpace 1d ago

Zachamucci to be fair

1

u/i3inaudible 17h ago

We already have a unit that size. It's called a work week.

48

u/nerdystoner25 1d ago

LESS THAN HALF A MOOCH??

51

u/Letter-Past 1d ago

It's Metric. Mooches are Imperial

18

u/hpbrick 1d ago

Well at least we’re establishing a proper maga currency:

2 Zacharias = 1 Mooch

5

u/Vegetable-Roof-9589 1d ago

And one trump?

4

u/sterntoothz 1d ago

Seemingly endless

2

u/Optimal_Risk_6411 1d ago

Can’t give her the benefit to round up with her BS. So a Zach < 1/2 Mooch.

6

u/goofydad 1d ago

I was just doing the math.

6

u/SnooRadishes8573 NaTivE ApP UsR 1d ago

White house staffer: I got excited because I thought you said "meth"

6

u/Optimal_Risk_6411 1d ago

She methed up alright. Methed up big time.

72

u/CommercialEmployer4 1d ago

Mascaramucci

8

u/reykjaham 1d ago

That’s Erajan for “little Scaramucci”. How fitting

1

u/pyxlmedia 1d ago

Blue Prince references spotted in the wild...

44

u/FeelsLikeV97-33XA 1d ago

When you get old enough you can just put calendar years on your resume instead of actual dates.

"2026 - White House Press Secretary"

20

u/Loko8765 1d ago

With the kind of background checks the Republicans do, she hopes that will work.

7

u/whipnutbouy 1d ago

Slam dunk comment

Edit: also life advice.

21

u/CaseyG 1d ago

Depends on which Scaramucci you use.

A Metric Scaramucci is ten calendar days.

An Imperial Scaramucci is seven business days.

9

u/just_lurking_Ecnal 1d ago

Well if course we have to use the Imperial Scaramucci because he worked for the Orange Toddler (Wanna-be) Emperor.

4

u/hkohne Unique Flair 1d ago

And US Americans (mostly) don't use that metric mumbo-jumbo

2

u/Bill99berg 1d ago

😂😂😂😂

23

u/humblequest22 1d ago

SNL didn't even get a crack at her yet!

4

u/boromir_queries_sean 1d ago

The only tragedy involved here!

4

u/Ancient-Budget-8793 1d ago

Tomorrow nights should be brutal.... Enjoy!

3

u/kind_bros_hate_nazis 23h ago

Watch her get fired during her first press conference in the cold open

15

u/spacegrassorcery 1d ago edited 1d ago

Scaramucci made this comment today about the situation:

"Records are made to be broken. But I take no pleasure in other people's pain," Scaramucci wrote Friday.”

9

u/L3xusLuth3r 1d ago

At least she’s leaving a legacy behind lol

9

u/OneDimensionalChess 1d ago

Sad because I had high hopes of her embarrassing Trump more than he usually embarrasses himself in general

6

u/Intelligent_Hand4583 1d ago

I was thinking exactly that.

3

u/Camulius73 1d ago

Man, you guys really will use anything but the metric system!

/s obviously

1

u/i3inaudible 17h ago

It's better than the British unit of "an area about x times the size of Wales". Apparently there was a news story about Wales and it was reported to have affected an area about the size of Wales.

2

u/abadluckwind 1d ago

The lettuce was still fresh

2

u/petulant-turnip 1d ago

= When the heavily padded resume finally catches up to you

2

u/Rollingbrook 1d ago

But it’s a full kakistocracy.

1

u/b00mrang 1d ago

If memory serves me well, a Scaramucci was so small that sir was indivisible so we have to rethink the whole thing

1

u/itallchecksout99 1d ago

How much is that in Schrute bucks?

1

u/stocksandoptions2 1d ago

New term - 1 Zacharia

1

u/Inspectorgadget4250 1d ago

One Scaramucci now replaced one Zacharia

1

u/Bananalando 1d ago

Should have done the Fandango.

1

u/conglomitall 4h ago

"that fandango ate my baby!"

1

u/Browncoatinabox 1d ago

Liz Truss lasted longer

1

u/OpenConversation643 19h ago

But how many Mark Ruffalos

•

u/rhiddian 10m ago

.4 of a Scaramucci

0

u/diffraction-limited 1d ago

0.45 mooches. And these included weekend days. Imagine