r/toastme • u/CapableGur8920 • 3d ago
week from hell đ
ive been so unmotivated in general for the last like two months, and then these last few days swoop in like the literal plague to ruin my life. comparisons will be the death of me (and i thought getting rid of most social media would help), my home life sucks. i miss my cat, i want to spend my days doing more than staying in at home. i want to go to a concert. whenâs the last time i went to a good concert? lord i need to get out of the house. đ
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u/d-conepay 3d ago
I don't know what's keeping you at home or preventing you from leaving. The most important thing in these situations is to stay grounded in the present day, in the present moment.
Focusing on what youâve lost or what you want (the past and the future) wonât help your situation; meditation techniques that help you tune out the present moment are very helpful.
This is just a way to help you calm downânot a definitive solution. I hope youâll be able to get out of there soon.
You have a kind face; youâve surely endured a lot, and youâre stronger than you think, thatâs for sure. I also like your hair, and you definitely have a lot of style uwu
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u/BogusBluff 3d ago
THISâïžâïžâïž!!! Any moment you start fretting, focus on immediate sensations around you, your sleeve on your arm, your bum on the chair, your hand warmed by a cup of coffee, your breathing in your nostrils, etc. you are an adorable pixie, hope you walk out and enjoy little moments observing nature!
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u/mikmeulgan 3d ago
i hope you know that someone loves you no matter what. i lost my cat 'pepper' a few years ago and im still heartbroken.
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u/Mean-Intention-2628 3d ago
Get rid of all but one social media.. rid of all but one news app.. and then maybe add a sudoku app . Love yourself and rejoice yourself for being a beautiful womanâŠ. A good Metallica concert would do you some good.
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u/Farfignuten-151 3d ago
I'm sorry you're going through it, but things will get better in time. Take a moment to leave the house, even if for a quick walk. Any break you can get from your home is worth it.
Don't pay attention to comparisons, especially on social media (though kudos for getting rid of them). We're all figuring things out as we go, especially nowadays, despite what people's curated pages show. Hang in there, sis!
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u/reko--- 3d ago edited 3d ago
I donât know your situation, but right now here on planet earth u and me got some solidarity here. 1. as siblings in being anti social media (why is it similarly isolating to be online and also so isolating to be offline??? ugh) and 2. being stuck in that awful unmotivated feeling for months 3. Also in unique colored hair!! im going orange rn, but your hair color is cool asf. pls lmk the dye brandâŠ. (arctic fox isnât working for me anymore rip and GDY isnât available near me đ„č) i wanted that ashy cool blue grey SO BADLYYYY for years and years and you are absolutely rocking it. The combo w the eyebrow piercing is also too cute. Iâve always wanted one but never went past ear piercings haha.
What music do you like? I saw you say you miss concerts. I need some music reccs and Iâll offer you some in return if youâd like Ù©(àčâáŽâàč)Û¶ orrrr if that feels a bit too intimidating to answer, do you have a genre you feel like is underrated? or an artist more people should listen to? (Iâll share one, against me! is an underrated fav of mine.)
of course I gotta offer some toasting though, and being an artist, toasting appearances is like half of why I draw! I spend a huge amount of time staring at faces. itâs what makes doing portraits so much fun for me. Everyoneâs got little unique aspects. Youâve got a sweet smile, I love drawing ones like yours. wide smile with full lips and you can see how it reaches your cheekbones. Pretty eye shape, all cute features complimented by your alternative style. Youâve got a cute nose too! Tbh your shape of nose is probably one of the ones I most often default to when I do warm-up portraits. Noses are usually where I start when I draw a face, it kinda anchors all the other features in a way. Not sure how to put it haha. Something about your face shape (I think itâs the smile and eye shape?) reminds me of my cousin, we grew up close as sisters and is still one of my dearest friends. yall both have that unique sort of pretty. (She would also absolutely love ur hair color.) obv have to mention this too but your whole aesthetic appearance 100% gives anime character in the best way.
Obviously I donât know your situation, i wish I could say something that could make this all make sense for you now. It sucks feeling so alone and missing your cat and not feeling at home anywhere. I wish I could offer a guarantee that this gets fixed in an hour or something stronger than me being an art nerd about portraits. but I can offer as another human whoâs felt similarly to what you wrote, a few things I wouldâve told myself back then. (Esp I rlly felt that part about comparisons, I used to post constantly and that competitive nature of social media does some evil bullshit to your mental state. Man Iâve been there.)
- you wont feel like this forever
- if you are doing your best to be kind, you are trying and that is enough.
- Life isnât a set of timelined goals, no one is ahead or behind, and everyoneâs journey is entirely different.
- people are rooting for you
addition to 4: I am also rooting for you!
lastlyâŠ. sorry for the long essay but not sorry for the words in it, I mean it that this feeling doesnât stick forever and I mean it that youâll look back one day and be in calmer seas. and âŠ.this isnât professional advice butâŠ. A creative outlet has also been a life saver at my lowest. if you ever need recommendations for where to start on something creative that is low effort/free/confidence building⊠my dms are always open to talk art or music. (contour drawing is usually folks fav) take care alright?
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u/CapableGur8920 3d ago
this seriously was the best thing i couldâve woken up to, like genuinely I was teary eyed. you are so kind and so so thoughtful, my twin for real. iâm so down to talk! i always wanted to be an artist but i could never get drawing seriously down, put all my energy into songs instead haha.
but seriously this really helped. i often try to think to myself the whole âit wonât last foreverâ mantra but it doesnât stick when i say it, for some reason. hearing it from a total stranger really cements it though. thank you so so much
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u/NormallyNotOutside 3d ago
You look so kind and adorable! Although you haven't given any details I can relate to how hard living at home can be. It's easy to feel like you're trapped indoors, the longer it goes on for the harder it feels to leave.
One of the most important lessons I learnt in life is that motivation comes from action, not the other way around (annoyingly) Set the bar low to start. Really push yourself to open the front door and just go for a 15 min walk. This will give you a little bubble of motivation so next time it can be an hour and so on. Maybe after a few days you can go on a little adventure or check out some local live music? You've got this, don't give up on yourself :)
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u/Adrasteia-One 3d ago
Hi, I'm sorry things have been so tough. I understand. If you could go to any concert, who would you want to see most? I used to go to shows more often, but life has made that not possible. Music really does fill the soul with goodness, so I hope you can enjoy it somehow. Please keep your head up. You seem like a really cool person. âđŒ
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u/CapableGur8920 3d ago
yes dude, music is my life, had a band at one point but everyoneâs off in college all over the place now. if i could see anyone ever, i think circa survive? iâve seen their singer on his solo tours and really relate to him just as a person and with how he writes his songs, so seeing him with his full band would probably be the show of my liiifeee
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u/Adrasteia-One 3d ago
That's awesome :). Fellow musician here, too! Guitar, bass, and used to play sax. What did you play in your band?
Oh, I'm familiar with Circa Survive! The singer was the front man for Saosin long ago, is that right? I'm into prog rock, so I've heard CS mentioned a few times. Well sweet, that's so cool that you've been able to check him out solo before.
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u/CapableGur8920 3d ago
yes he was! the big anthony green, heâs seriously my role model lol.
since we never got any live things together i was bouncing around on instruments a lot, at one point i was drums and a synth pad simultaneously haha. primarily though just rhythm guitar :)1
u/Adrasteia-One 3d ago
Haha, nice :)
How cool! You were a true multi-instrumentalist, hehe. I hope you'll have the opportunity to play with others again soon. Playing live is such a rush!
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u/AnonEmus410 3d ago
Always remember life is set at each person's own pace. What some achieve quickly will take others years and those same folk could leap over the first in other ways
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u/JonathanPeerHost 3d ago
Iâve had stretches where I stayed home too much because mentally I just didnât have much in me. After a while, that can make everything feel even heavier.
You definitely sound like you need a night out. A concert, some fresh air, anything that gets you out of the same four walls for a bit.
And your hair is cool as hell. Youâve got a really sweet smile too.
I hope next week sucks a lot less than this one.
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u/Vinx1312 2d ago
i had to quit a horrible job... it was tough finding a new one.
the job i have now? i like it a lot and am being treated pretty well, getting back on my foot took lots of work, i actually had 2 jobs at one time was working 7 days a week
i enjoy motorcycles and have a few low-cost cigar lounges to visit. byob and free to walk in and chill
just get out make some friends to chill with
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u/WolfmanVII 2d ago
You look like the type of person to bring joy to everyone around you. Kind eyes and a genuine smile. The world is your oyster. Life is hard for all of us but you're out here surviving it all. You've got this. See a concert. Go to a movie. Go out for a fancy dinner all by yourself. It's all okay. Anyone who doesn't wanna be your friend has poor taste.
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u/iridiumlaila 2d ago
You have the smile that looks like you're suppressing a laugh. And when you tell us why it'll make the whole room join you.
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u/Lumpy_Ad_9348 2d ago
You have gotten through it, and that's what matters. Pray and take care of yourself, everything else will sort itself out in time
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u/HealthPretty1754 2d ago
I hope itâs a little better today OP. See if there is any shows happening this week. đ„
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u/seducxx 1d ago
Yup life sucks, your beloved die , what u expected many times never happen, we don't choose childhood, and when this all is experience we all shut ourselves down, we stop life because then there will be no suffering. But also we forget we will never experience what life is , what we are truly and how worthless all this burden is that we have put on ourselves.
I will tell you see again with your eyes not with your cunning mind, what has happened does it truly change who I am, does it makes me weak or stops me from living. You will realise it was all in head and ntg can hurt you. Nights are dark with uncertainty and fear but with flame of conciousness you can also see stars and darkness becomes another joy.
Don't worry you got it life starts with you don't let external change your internal. Go enjoy concerts , do what u love even enjoy while suffering see this absurdity and live.
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u/Serious-Profit7375 3d ago
Just get out of the house, even if it's just a walk. You have to just force it at first and that's fine, but it will get easier and better. I felt the same way a few months ago, the 2nd time going out and doing something was easier than the first.