r/toastme • u/Shanaishere • 8h ago
I (23F) Finally earned my masters after getting paralyzed!!
I (23F) have posted here before but for those who haven't seen my post, i was paralyzed in a car crash 17 months ago. I also lost my parents and sisters in the crash.
I had countless surgeries on my back since then, had screws placed in my spine, had to learn to do everything from a wheelchair, lost friends and lived at inpatient rehab for months after my injury. I was devastated to put my education on the back burner especially since I only had 2 months left until graduation. Seeing my friends post their graduation photos over 15 months ago really messed with my brain I can't lie.
But my university understood my situation and they let me start where I left off! 4 months ago I started attending again and even tho what was supposed to take 2 months eventually took 4, I finally got my masters!! I'm one step closer to being a licenced lawyer.
It has always been my dream to be a lawyer but now that I can start working at a law firm until I can have my bar exam a year from now, it feels weird. I have so many doubts. I don't know if people would want me to be their lawyer when they see my chair, I don't know if I'm mentally prepared, I don't know if I'm fully over what happened to my family or me...I don't know if taking the bar exam and getting my licence is worth it. I guess I just need some cheering up because while I'm happy that I achieved my lifelong dream, I'm also self conscious about the chair and everything that comes with it.
And it's not just my work that is messing with me, I still can't look at myself in the mirror without bawling my eyes out. I feel so so ugly in this chair, sometimes I feel so unwanted and unlovable. Sorry for the long rant 😅
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u/Adventurous_wolf_12 7h ago
Hello!
Love your Bio on your page.
Tragedy is hard. There’s no way around that. But. Succeeding in the face of it is more impressive than before and more meaningful.
Every single thing you do now is to prove that life can’t break you. That you will succeed in spite of your trials and tribulations. You were almost at the top of a mountain and another one got dropped in front of you.
And look at you?! You did it. You said fuck you mountain. And that’s a major milestone no matter the circumstances so congratulations.
You don’t think anyone wants a lawyer that is resilient? Determined? Doesn’t give up? Has spirit?
You’d lose that bet 10 times out of 10 girl.
As for the attractiveness part you are still beautiful. You are still you. You are love able and beautiful. Scars and tragedy aren’t weaknesses. They are proof we are alive and strong and that we keep going.
Ancient warriors would display scars proudly. To show what they had overcome.
You got this. Keep on keeping on.
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u/RavingGerbil 3h ago
I was going to try to post a nice comment but you said it all better. Seconding this instead.
Amazing fucking job OP. I don’t know how I’d feed myself after that trauma and you went and finished a degree. Your strength is utterly amazing. Your family would be proud. Keep kicking ass.
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u/First-Lengthiness-16 7h ago
Amazing, congratulations to you. What an achievement.
Whilst their will be some people who wouldn’t want legal representation from someone in a wheelchair chair, many others will recognise that your probably had to work harder than most to qualify, and loads of disabled people need legal representation.
Amazing achievement.
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u/No_usernames_left_25 6h ago
I don’t even know you, yet I feel so proud of you. I hope my daughter, 14, lives life with even half of the resilience and strength you have. Thank you for sharing with us! 🫂
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u/Calm_Huckleberry8634 5h ago
You have endured a tragedy of unimaginable proportions, yet through your determination and courage, you have achieved so much and have the promise of a bright and fulfilling professional future ahead of you.
I imagine there must be moments when your thoughts are divided between the darkness of what has happened and the light of all that lies ahead.
A thought that may be completely impractical -but I wonder whether you could consider a specially trained service/assistance dog? Such a companion could be at your side - or on your lap-in both your personal and professional life, offering not only practical assistance, but also that extraordinary, unconditional affection that dogs give so freely.
Perhaps, in those moments when the past weighs heavily and the future seems overwhelming, a devoted four-legged companion might provide the warmth and love you need when sitting alone with only your thoughts for company.
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u/LalowTree 7h ago
I'd love for you to be my lawyer. Can't beat a passionate lawyer in my opinion. Congratulations on your achievement and I'm sorry all these horrible things happened to you.
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u/No-Effective388 8h ago
Girl you are so adorable, so smart and so amazing! Congratulations on your master's degree! I genuinely wish you only the best things in your life ❤️❤️🍀🍀
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u/Auregon44 7h ago
Congratulations !
You will be great lawyer. I’m a lawyer (in France, « avocat ») since 2007 so I can tell you : to be a good lawyer, you have to be rigorous and combative. And you are so combative. You will face challenges, but never give up the fight. Never forget why you’re lawyer. Keep strong!
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u/Glad-Pen5593 4h ago
Wait - what? FINALLY? It took me until my 40's to get my Master's...what are you even talking about?! Well done, girlie!
Also: Hello, world: LOOK OUT! This chica is on her way to make an IMPACT. What an incredible story of resilience.
I can't imagine what you've been through and I want to state for the record that this stranger right here is immensely proud of you. You have a strength of character and fortitude that I admire greatly. Plus, you're super cute AND super smart!
Please keep us posted as you rock and roll into the next phase of life.
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u/Cool-Guy-53 5h ago
You’re so brave! You have an amazing soul and you could get anything you wish for. You’ve proven that already and will continue to demonstrate that throughout.
Set your goals - whatever they may be, and fulfill them.
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u/Juelz0230 5h ago
Congratulations and let’s fucking go!!!! Continue the fight and hard work it will pay off tremendously and you will always have guardian angels over you! Congrats again!
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u/ilovemydognacho 4h ago
Lfg! You are so resilient and strong! Your condition will take some getting used to, but it’s nothing compared to what you have already gone through. You wake up every day and continue to fight, while so many of us would crumple up like a ball and feel sorry for ourselves for the loss you experienced. I don’t know you, but I’m really proud of you. Continue on and honor your parents by doing your best to make them proud in heaven! All my love for you!
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u/Mortomes 7h ago
Anyone who knows your story should be happy to have a lawyer who has battled through all of this.
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u/horrendousacts 2h ago
Wow what a story! And I can't seem to get my act in gear to start my graduate program. I keep saying "next year" but there is only now.
Thank you
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u/b_ro_rainman 2h ago
Why did you need to be paralyzed to get your masters? Seems like your advisor was being a bit of jerk.
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u/Scary_Outside2374 4h ago
If things don't work out, remember, you're more qualified to be the White House Press Secretary than the last one was!
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u/ebuthegangster 8h ago
You look cute don't worry everything will be good believe in god's decree and congrats you got your degree
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u/DragonFetish_42 7h ago
You are so badass that a serious injury (my poor word choice) couldn’t stop you. You freaking ROCK!
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u/Next-Street-7859 7h ago
Congrats on the Master's degree! It's a feat to earn without an injury so what you've done here is even more amazing. If i were in your position, and had lost what you lost, I hope I could achieve this and keep my life going.
I'm sorry that sometimes you feel unattractive and unlovable in your chair but I feel like whatever reaction you have is perfectly fine, I can't say how I would feel without any doubt there, as I've not lived this. But please know you're beautiful in every way, and I don't have to say that because I'm a mama bear, you truly are! Sending hugs your way x
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u/Glittering-Lychee629 7h ago
I just read a memoir called Haben: The Deafblind Woman Who Conquered Harvard Law by Haben Girma. I know it is not the same experience, she is also Black, but it made me think of it with your post. Congratulations and good luck with the exam! You can do it!
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u/Successful-Tea-733 7h ago
Tjat takes guts to carry on and get yoyr masters....after losing everything admire that Please follow your dream and who knows ad regards recovery? Can you stand ?
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u/rowanjay04 7h ago
Congrats on the Master’s!
Don’t apologize for ranting; that’s what we Redditors are here for! <3
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u/ResponsibleCanary558 6h ago
Felicidades !! Eres increíble que no te hayas rendido despues de todo .. mantente fuerte vas a ser una grandisima abogada y si alguien no quiere que le representes por la silla entonces esa persona no merece ser representada y el/ella se perdera la mejor abogada probablemente !! Y de verdad admiro tu fuerza no la pierdas nunca 🫶
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u/augustinian 4h ago
That was inspiring. You're obviously a very strong person given what you've been through. My condolences on the loss of your parents and sister. Hoping only good things for you in the years ahead!
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u/Southern-Strain-7114 2h ago
Congratulations on your accomplishments and achievements, your an inspiration to all
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u/Shadowblooms 7h ago
Your story is unbelievable and you are such a beautiful person oh my goodness. Your strength and determination in the face of everything you’ve been through is a HUGE inspiration to me and it deserves to be recognized and appreciated. You are an amazing person and I’m so so proud of you. Your family is too. I’m 30 and still working towards my bachelors but I’ve had to face my own struggles. It’s things like this that give me strength to keep going.
You are an absolutely amazing person and don’t let anyone tell you different. And you’re beautiful on top of that with a lovely smile :)
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u/benice13 7h ago
Congratulations!! I am cheering for you. You are so brave and have already been through so much (at such a young age) that passing the bar and being a lawyer in a wheelchair will seem easier.
I suggest finding a mentor who has been in a similar situation in law. You are incredibly strong and congrats again!!
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u/diregibbon 7h ago
U are doing so amazing. Congratulations on reaching ur goal and know ur going to reach ur next goal. U are an amazing strong smart woman uve not let things hold u back even wen given perfect reason call it quits that aint u ur stronger than that and ur kicking arse. Comments bwt wheelchair annoyingly always be a challenge for ur future but ul also meet alot people where it doesnt matter u will see people more clearly and find people that believe in for u and care about u for u. Keep being an amazing strong woman
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u/trojannc27701 7h ago
You are literally an inspiration! It’s normal to have doubts but you can do anything and I’m so proud of you.
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u/ci-yote_kate 7h ago
I am so so proud of you!!! What you went through is so much to endure at such a young age.
Your smile/essence in this photo and your accomplishments are something to be admired and are truly inspirational!
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u/Entire-Drawer-9203 7h ago
God bless you! Undoubtedly your journey will have its added difficulties. But based on your unimaginable loss and pain, you are so much more qualified to be an outstanding lawyer than most. Do not allow yourself to doubt yourself. Thank you for sharing.
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u/necknape_connoisseur 7h ago
Inspirational to see you succeeding after such traumatic events, really admire your strength and resilience.
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u/Jas-Per-Usual 7h ago
This is the stuff I love to see! Congrats!
(Edited to add that im not trying to gloss over the tragedy, just to celebrate the wins despite it all.)
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u/Ancient1957 7h ago
You're such a strong woman to have achieved what you have despite what has happened. Your determination will shine through and ppl will love to have you as their friend, their lawyer and, yes, as a partner in life.
Your parents raised a strong, beautiful, woman and would be so VERY proud to see where you are now
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u/Initial_Zebra100 7h ago
What an incredible accomplishment! I can't imagine what its life to have your life turned upside down but I think its very inspirational. You're a courageous beautiful intelligent women. And every doubt and worry is valid but so is every hard earned success.
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u/StraightAirline8319 7h ago
No matter what challenges you go through and all those you have overcome know the one thing you could control you did. You got a masters in something useful that you can help others with and make money on.
Meanwhile every year millions of people around the world are getting into debt with degrees that don’t prepare them and won’t ever help them.
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u/Equine85 7h ago
You are amazing! I am so sorry for your devastating losses and everything you’ve been through 💔
My uncle became a quadriplegic after a skiing accident. He went to law school after, and started an extremely successful law firm helping personal injury clients. You’ve got this 💞
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u/Ok-Jeweler5826 7h ago
You're such a fighter! Many people would give up on life and fall into depression under those circumstances. You have incredible strength and are an inspiration to us all.
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u/Friday-night-deploy 7h ago
Firstly - hooray for completing your masters!
You have so many things working against you, and it’s unfair, and you still did it. I’m amazed and happy for you.
Of course it’s going to take time to grieve the loss of your family and your own disability - and that could even delay you in pursuing your goals. I hope you will still take the bar exam sooner or later, because being a lawyer is a strong career and will give you far more flexibility and freedom in your life long term.
And yes, discrimination is real - and you’ll face double discrimination as a disabled woman. The demand is high enough that you’ll still have job opportunities, which is a great thing, especially when dealing with the challenges of being disabled. There are many ways to use a lawyer’s credentials that don’t involve going to court or getting clients if you and up disliking that part - I have a friend who pursued a career in legal editing and research. There are corporate lawyers and legal mediators too.
Really happy and optimistic for you. Hope you will know you have permission to grieve and also that you will heal, in time.
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u/GrowthAny2535 7h ago
Beautiful Intelligent Strong Wouldn't you be the perfect woman by any chance? 😭 Congratulations
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u/AssistanceChemical63 7h ago
I think a lawyer is a good job for you. Most sit behind desks anyway, some work part time and don’t even go to court. Congrats on your achievement, and sorry for your many losses.
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u/ironkodiak 7h ago
Congrats.
You probably known this, but there is a pretty good chance you fail the bar first time. It happens.
I would say "don't give up" but I think you already have that down.
Any idea what law you wabt to specialize in if you have a choice?
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u/sundvl13 7h ago
Your story brought me to tears, I am more grateful about my life knowing there are those in less fortunate situations. I hope you earn your dream to become a great lawyer. Well done!
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u/Sgtfridge 6h ago edited 6h ago
Congratu-fucking-lations!!! That's a huge accomplishment even under good circumstances.
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u/West_Tip_5347 6h ago
Girl congrats !!!!! That’s honestly amazing, in spite of your circumstances you are making it, very admirable
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u/Tonichi_702 6h ago
CONGRATULATIONS 🎊!!!! You are a true inspiration. I will never even come close to achieving what you did, but you have no idea how happy I am to see amazing people like you accomplish the things you can despite your challenges.
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u/No_Use1529 6h ago
Congrats on the degree..
I am sorry for what you endured.
I have seen a few attorneys in wheelchairs in my career. (Criminal law) What I remember, they all were good. I didn’t see them often, assuming they worked one of the other districts more often. But what caught my attention they were good. I mean that in a positive way. They didn’t try and pull and shady crap, we had a few who were notorious for that not in a wheel chair but why I will always remember those, they were well prepared, no nonsense and they got their clients favorable outcomes. I would have recommended them in a hear beat if someone asked me for a good criminal defense attorney.
I have been screwed over by a bad divorce attorney and my work comp attorneys were just as bad. All over promised and did the bare min to collect a check at my expense.. The last one was trying to get me to do some unethical crap that would have hurt me somehow down the road.. He wanted me to sign a document my pain and mobility issues weren’t from my injury!!! Dude if I didn’t have those issues I’d be back in uniform!!!! You know damn well it’s all from my injury that happened on duty!!!! But it will be easier and faster if you sign it!!! So you want me to lie?? No!!! Sad part had either one of them done their job, there is a good a chance I’d have been able to put the uniform back on. Have had two docs say the same thing. Had I been able to explore options I get down now now pre fusion I may have had a different outcome. Still pisses me off!!
Knock out that bar exam and just be good or better yet great at what you do. People will come!!!
You got this!!!!
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u/disturbingyourpeace 6h ago
Let’s freaking GOOOOOOO!! I absolutely LOVE how you refused to let that get you down and saw your dream through to the end! Your determination is inspiring! Rest in peace to your parents and sister, I am sorry for your loss.
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u/Careless_Wishter 6h ago
Congratulations ~ we don't get to choose what happens to us, but we get to choose how we respond.
You're amazing, and I wish the best for you!
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u/suzi_generous 6h ago
Congratulations! Getting a master’s can be difficult but adding tragedy and physical injury? You should be very proud.
May I suggest talking to a career counselor before making a final decision? They can walk you through all the stats and give you a good idea of your alternatives that wouldn’t necessarily require starting completely over. I had a lot of problems deciding on a career and it helped me a lot. If I had gone at the beginning of my higher education, it would have saved me time and money.
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u/beardingmesoftly 6h ago
I know it's not the case, but the title reads as though getting paralyzed helped you complete your masters!
Congrats!
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u/OutrageousNebula4787 6h ago
Oh wow. You're an inspiration and you're absolutely beautiful. Congratulations!!! 💯🥳🎉🎂🥂
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u/Funny_Consequence918 6h ago
You are still young and beautiful. Life will not be easy for you but you just came one step closer to building out a great career, which will bring you financial well-being and put you in circles with educated and dynamic people. Keep going!!
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u/Sugestible_liability 6h ago
Omg, you’ve put tears in my eyes!! But what a way to honour your family!! So proud of you young lady, random man on Reddit.
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u/Informal-Food-1822 5h ago
YAY! CONGRATULATIONS! Youre so smart! Youre so lovely! Youre going to do great! YAY!
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u/Striking_Box5333 5h ago
Im so proud of you congrats you are beautiful I had a couple of ground zero to overcome I had no choice failure is not an option. I lost my hero wife to cancer after 35 years now what in 2020 I had reaction to flu vaccine gbs i couldn't walk for a year lift to bed i couldnt walk couldnt work and a widower. Hopeless. Grace of god I got better returned to ups. Recently retired I wish I could get you to the woods trails leaves turning be strong I have adversity in my life but im a baddass warrior. You are too the weak would not have a masters not smiling in the pik god bless
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u/katykatykaty95 5h ago
you’ve endured so much loss and at such a young age. i’m so so sorry, it’s not fair. please try to be kind to yourself ❤️ i am in awe of your masters degree! i don’t have a masters and have always been so impressed by the hard work that goes into getting one, and being able to lock in and do that after losing your loved ones must’ve been especially hard. your resilience is admirable. you are also so pretty, i love your curly hair! i’ve always wished i had natural curls. if you ever just want a friend and wanna talk my inbox is open ❤️ rooting for you and i’m sure great things are ahead for you💕 i hope you’re feeling really proud of this accomplishment, you deserve to celebrate yourself!
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u/MyTwoCentsAmigos 5h ago
Wow. Thats an amazing story of resilience and overcoming the odds. I can’t even fathom how difficult this has all been. I’m not sure if you’re I. The Toronto area but if you’d like an internship at my firm please dm me. All the best to you. I’m sure you’ll make an amazing lawyer.
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u/-anominal- 5h ago
You know your parents and your sister would have been so proud 👏
I would say, go for it! Take that bar exam💪💪
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u/Lmfaodankmemes 5h ago
You can be hella proud! That’s something a big lot of fully abled people can’t achieve. 🥲👍🏼
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u/apollo11733 5h ago
Literally lost everything and managed to Get it all back congratulations to the hard work
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u/Anubis17_76 5h ago
Im not familiar with r/toastme. Are you asking for a light roasting? Like 50% roasted?
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u/McSwearWolf 5h ago
Congrats. You are amazing. That resilience will take you far. I’m sure your parents and sisters would be very proud of you too. Idk how you made it through all that and did what you did, but I’d be damn proud to have a lawyer like you when needed. Keep going! Let us know when you do the bar! 🤍
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u/ToughJolly613 4h ago
I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through, I can’t imagine the places your poor head and heart have been. You are seriously impressive, best wishes to you for wherever life takes you next, you’re a force to be reckoned with and I hope you’ve got the support around you that you need, want and deserve 🩷
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u/Useful-Fail877 4h ago
You are an absolutely beautiful and amazing lady. Do not ever down play your worth, you are amazing
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u/Dvant2you 4h ago
Congratulations! You have a masters degree, that is awesome. Plus you did it through adversity, that took some grit.
I think you’re amazing.
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u/Zestyclose_Text_2378 4h ago
There is no roasting to be had.
You know what I see?? Someone who is so stunning, beautiful, courageous so bad ass, that she is blinded to her own genius. Dear Lordy, cut yourself a break, and realize that your family would be so incredibly proud, that you should be so proud! Not only for the degree, but for surviving and then thriving. Be kind to yourself. If you can accomplish a degree after such devastating loss, then you can certainly learn how create a new version of yourself that you are proud of. One step at time 💗
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u/BigKarina4u 4h ago
I'm sorry about your loss and tragedy but congratulations for the passing school. You are such a strong lady!
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u/Effective-Friend1937 6h ago
'Finally' got your Master's at 23? That's one year earlier than most of us got ours.
Hey, FDR ran the country from a wheelchair. I'm sure you could run a courtroom from one, no problem. Now being blind, like Matt Murdoch, might actually be a challenge.
You picked the right field. Being 'handicapped' is no handicap when the only muscle you're using is your brain.