I (20F) am currently living at home with my mom while working and going to college. I love my mom, but she has a complete lack and zero respect for my personal boundaries, and it’s driving me crazy.
My mom sometimes frequently has bladder accidents when she comes home from work. Directly after having an accident and going to the bathroom, she will come straight into my bedroom with absolutely no pants or underwear on. She will then lie sideways directly across my bed, placing her bare skin right on the pillow where I put my face to sleep.
Whenever I catch her doing this, I get completely grossed out and immediately strip my bed to wash my sheets and pillowcases. When I do this, she gets defensive says passive aggressive things like, "You're weird, you act like I'm not your mom." As if being my mom means it's okay to put her unwashed (or washed), bare body on my sleeping pillow.
Because of this, I have started locking my bedroom door. Now whenever the door is locked and ask what I’m doing, claiming I have "no reason" to keep the door closed. I genuinely feel like she does this on purpose to provoke me, because in the past, she has literally smiled when she saw how visibly irritated and stressed I was. The last time she tried it, I forced myself to give absolutely zero reaction, and I could physically see her looking at me to see if she was trying to get a rise out of me.
I am working hard to save up and move out as soon as possible, but in the meantime, am I crazy here? AITA for demanding a locked door and clean sheets?

U ARE GONNA LOVE THIS TEAA TRUST was i wrong for exposing my dad for cheating!?

so since i was a kid i knew one thing about my dad he was a weirdo plus a creep and always hungry for women and a porn addict and growing up hearing my parents fight because well mom caught him cheating again🫩
BUT AS A KID I ACTED LIKE UM I DONT KNOW SHI UNTIL I TURN 13

So everyday after school i take religious classes one day my tablet wasn’t workin so i used my dads laptop well he offered it but he forgot to close one of his WhatsApp chats and i saw few msg of him with some girl so u know i was 13 and curious 👀

the chats were all about
-sendin money
-chating with young girls
-flirting
-porn
-making fun of my mom with his side chicks
-whats hurts the most is he was talking shi about his own kids to and sharing private things about us

so then i took pics of those screenshots and sended it to my mom and everything they had a fight and my mom told me she would act like i told her nothing she just found out herself but during the fight my mom actually told the truth and also told my dad my advice for divorce and all the shi i said about him my dad idk how manipulated her so much she became on his side with him instead of taking my side!? like hello the same men who tried choking u to death like few years ago!! so my dad then angrily came in my room and took his laptop in anger until
the next day he waited for my mom
to leave for work and then came in my room and manipulated me guilt trap me for hours and said shi like

“and u are convincing ur mom to divorce me?”

“just because i don’t say anything doesn’t mean i don’t know what kind of things u do on ur phone” like hello!! i just got caught once talking to a guy on my phone and trauma dumping cuz he is too busy for that and started comparing me to himself like hellooooooooo we might share the same dna but i am nothing like u dad ! I WAS 13 u were a 38 yr old talking to a 17 or 18 yr old!! ahahha at least i was just talking no forcing into nudes, porn, sending money, cheating on my wife KNOWING I HAVE 2 fucking kids at home!? and a daughter same age as a girl he is talking to who is he to compare himself to me hello!?

and he said alot of shi but when he went out for work and my mom came home i had a fight with her cuz she exposed me and told him EVERY FUCKIN SHI !? so
my mom called him on the spot and was like why did u got mad at her tho!! arent u ashamed this time ITS UR OWN DAUGHTER CATCHING U NOT ME U SAID U WOULD TALK TO HER NICELY WHY BE ANGRY ON HER ITS U NOT HER!? and he went like “oh so u are really gonna believe her and divorce me blah blah she is just a kid come onnn don’t believe her shi and who is she to invade my privacy and read my text”
and hahaha he created fake chats with his friends and showed me omg look
this girl i am talking to is my friend’s fiancee he gavel me her number to like talk to her and do a loyalty test like ahahahahahahahha so u have been loyalty testing for half of the year ahahah so u came up with an excuse for one of ur side chicks what about another ones well as u know he has a history of voilence and abuse and nobody was home at that time it was just me and him so i didnt said anything and played along
and he later huged me and i flinched when he came near me he was shocked and went like oh chill a dad cant even hug his daughter u mean everything to me blah blah and bought me and iphone 17 to shut my mouth btw
NOW COMESS THE REALLL TEAAAA
few months later we stopped talking about this and the whole family was forced to act normal but i was scrolling through instagram once and came
up with one of the picture of the girl which he called his friends so called finance and loyal testing ahahah bro i went to check her profile bro thats a whole different person and she is an actual influencer hahahaha her name was also different and everything about her and thats when i was like my dad got
scammed so badd bahaaha by a fake acc thinking it was actually a girl ahahah and he also sended her a-lot of money hahahah he lost all his aura plus money 😭🙏🏼🥀
i sended that acc to mom and few weeks later she showed it to dad he was like his eyes were so big and he was like “oh um um oh wha- i - ik about this” trying to act cool!?😭 so ur friends so called finance is a person who uses influencers pics to scam people🤣🤣🤣

anyways guys i lowkey hate my dad he should be in jail but my mom is only bearing him cuz of cultural shi and other stuff but i swear wait until i turn 18 my gawddddddddd

I am
14. now and everyone acts like normal about it and its like all of us are forced to act normal and i have stop taking sides or speaking up because ik no matter how much i speak up my dad is always gonna win so its better to stay quiet and bear this family for 3 more years then i turn 18 move out and never talk to anyone ever again🙂

and it surprises me how mad my dad gets mad when i am around a boy he gets a bad feeling in or just a men u know weirdos when u go out staring and everything he gets madd like what about u🫩 u are also doing that shi to someones daughter

KARMA SCARES ME I WISH I NEVER FIND SOMEONE LIKE MY DAD 🥀🙏🏼

Please tell me if I'm overreacting. I've recently become aware that the way my mother mostly has treated me is not normal. I believe she is potentially gaslighting me and has been manipulative. Have any of you had experience with this?

Sorry for the long post but there's just so much I need to unpack.

I really need to get as much advice, perspective and support etc as possible before I do anything drastic or make any major decisions.

I'll introduce myself I'm a 19 year old male and am an only child. To be honest I'm pretty desperate for advice and support and don't have anywhere way safe to get an unbiased perspective.

My parents split almost 10 years ago. I have had some great moments with them but they both were often quite toxic and abusive even.

I'll start with my Dad. A few months after my parents split he took me to spend the weekend pretty much out of the blue with his new girlfriend which he didn't actually tell me she was until we were only a few minutes away. One time while we were on holiday quite a few years ago during an argument he started bashing me with a Coke bottle. Afterwards he was full of apologizes and burst into tears. Also one other time during a row he threw my phone against a wall causing it to break. Also when he was winging about his situation I told him at least he owns his house and he pretty much laughed in my face. A few years ago while we were on our way back home from the movies he started going crazy and shouting at me and I was really scared. I tried to reason with him but it wasn't working. I can't even remember how the hell it all started. He even phoned my mum and told her he couldn't handle me and wanted her to pick me up. When I messaged my mum saying I wanted to leave she said she wouldn't teach him a lesson as they were both human and didn't deserve to be treated like crap. I was so upset and confused. When often she's the one badmouthing him to me. I have a strained relationship with my Dad and don't see him often I feel really let down as he was never really a proper father and only did the really bare minimum. He's never really stepped up and has always been useless with money. It actually makes me feel quite unlovable.

Now onto my mother which is by far the much longer list. She would blow up out of nowhere over the most trivial or littlest matters, many times i begged her to give me some emotional support when i was visibly upset but she just remained cold and cruel, drink quite heavily which was sometimes responsible but she can definitely be mean sober as well, I had expressed concern about her drinking but she just flipped, it actually got physical a few times as well. Most nights by the time I went to bed she was often at least very visibly tipsy and I have flashbacks about her when blotto and actually makes me very upset to be honest. I just wonder how can get so unshamefully drunk whilst been alone in the house with her child and I feel it was very irresponsible.

I did even have a scar once, the next day she'd always act as if nothing happened, whenever I tried to get clarity on why she got like that she'd brush it under the carpet or accuse me of starting trouble, she'd turn cold at the drop of a hat, during arguments she'd say things like I was ungrateful, didn't care about her and that I was a horrible person or that i was abusive or whatever just like my father, she would stomp, slam doors, shout, scream, swear and break ornaments etc, when she gets in her crazy states it's just impossible to reason with her or get her to see it from any other perspective, she can go from saying i was the most nicest and amazing person to saying I was the most horrible and evil person, she often burdened me with all of her problems, she said before that she knows how to play the game which I found very disturbing

She often paints herself as the heroic single mum and pretty much everyone we know such the teachers at school believe that. I feel I was robbed of a proper childhood and have often wondered what I had done to deserve it.

I remember one time a few years ago I was about 12 during a sleepover at my grandparents. I think we had a disagreement but I can't even really remember it now but my best memory is that she was on the phone to my grandmother and I'm pretty sure she was badmouthing me then my grandparents spoke and my grandfather started shouting and saying he was very disappointed in me and the rest of it is a blur. To be honest to this day i can't figure out what I (only a young child) was supposed to have done that was so bloody awful. That has haunted me for years. I used to think maybe I was a bad person but I've started to see her in a different light. She always talks about hating drama yet it seems to follow her and often says that she's been so hard done by.

About a year later when I vaguely recall when was enjoying myself in the bath she started abusing me and said she and everyone else was going to wash their hands of me if I didn't start living her way or something. I remember I was struggling with getting ready and then she started shouting saying I was taking advantage and then called her mother to say I was really horrible.

On the flip side she can be the most nicest person as well and we have had great times together and she can be very helpful towards me, her family and in public which makes it all the more confusing. A few weeks ago now in fact I ran into an old friend of hers who said to say hi for her and she said my mother is a wonderful person and I'm very lucky. It actually made me feel sick. Since I was 10 it's just been me living with her since my parents divorce in which she had to sell her house and now rents which she has blamed for the way she is before. I can't help feeling bad for her but she was still quite like this beforehand as well and I don't think that's an excuse still is it? For example I'm starting to remember when I was very young she'd make threats of sending me over to a new mommy. I do feel like she has manipulated me a bit into been stuck with her.

Something else that I've found disturbing is that she's very narrow minded and has a serious lack of empathy. For example when a couple of local celebrities committed suicide she shouted and carried on, called them pathetic cowards and weak etc. It was actually quite disturbing how she had a complete disregard and no sympathy for them.

PS another red flag i noticed was when a life insurance ad was on and they said "something could be paid out in case of death" or something and she said "I'd like for them to say WOULD" not could. I don't know why but that's set an alarm bell off. Also when my Gran had a fall she said to me in the car "trust me to have parents that live forever then I could get my inheritance".

Towards the end of my parents marriage I was 10 and she told me that my Dad was been very controlling and making her life a misery. I now look back at that with adult eyes and I'm starting to feel that she may of at least bent the truth. I'm starting to think that she manipulated me and tried to turn me against him and I do blame her partly for the fact I don't have the best relationship with my Dad. He's often let me down and been emotionally unavailable. Also he's very bad with money. I just wish for effort instead of excuses.

My mother often calls him a narcissist. I just feel that it's very wrong for someone to say to a child that one of their parents is a narcissist even if there is any truth to it.

Something disturbing she has said ages ago is when I'm an adult she could have me done for assault if she wanted. She also said she wanted to do a will and try to control my assets where my Dad can't touch anything and said she feared he would try to steal all of my money. I can't believe she would say things like that so proudly and can't help feeling like she was trying to manipulate me.

She's always quick to call others toxic and narcissists etc. She with absolutely no filter tells me everything going on in her life and her anxiety which makes me anxious. Why does it upset me so badly even when it has little or nothing to do with me?

Also I can't help feeling empathy towards her as she always looked after me, fed me, organized things for me and pretty much always brought me everything I wanted.

She loves been the martyr and does seem to feel like an innocent hard done by single mum who's done her best and pretty much everyone including teachers at school believe that. As I said I do feel for her then I think but what emotionally abusing me, leaving me crying myself to sleep some nights, causing me to have no confidence and PTSD etc? Could my parents have some bipolar or personality condition or something and toxic traits I've wondered?

A few years ago she said things like "I should top myself" and around that time during a really heated argument she threatened to kill herself with a knife so I did actually hide the knives. That's actually really traumatized me. She's also said one night a couple of years ago when she had a meltdown that when she dies hardly anyone is going to be at her funeral. I mean like why the hell would you say things like this to your own child?

A few other things. I remember once when Dad was picking me up a few years out of the blue she said just F off and even Dad said to me in the car that he didn't appreciate the way she spoke to me and when I told her that during a later argument she just said "yeah whatever" and something like that. Also one time when Dad came by to bring something she said "make sure that you show him that you're really happy to be back home". A couple of months ago when Dad took me out for a pub meal when I came back home the next night she said in sort of like a wise-ass way "you know he won't be able to afford that often". I do realize that but her saying that actually really annoyed me to be honest. As I'm making small steps with him it feels like she was deliberately trying to ruin my mood.

PS I remember one night years ago she accused me of looking like I wanted to hit her and went crazy. I may of had a tired look because it was late and I tried explaining that. She starting banging ornaments and shouting and was just impossible to talk to. Also I remember a few years ago one time she started saying she was worried my Dad was going to try to spend more time with me and that it would affect my schooling and life and said if I fall for it I would never see her again and all of the family will hate me. She's also said that before when I threatened to walk out during arguments. She's also said many times during these tirades that I was dead to her.

Also something that really upsets me is whenever I try to reason with her she often just goes "I need more alcohol to deal with this".

Almost a year ago my Dad let me down by not been able to see me one weekend and canceling at the last minute (which he has done quite a few times before).

During that said weekend my mother had another one of her outbursts. I was in the bathroom which was an en suite and she knocked on the door asking to take a few photos or something. All I asked was if she could just give me a few minutes to finish up but she started shouting and carrying on. When I went after her I tried to explain myself but she said I was been passive aggressive and even trying to manipulate her. I reason with her but she just wasn't having it and kept carrying on. When I tried to explain that to her and how upset I was already about that weekend without her treating me like this. She said she feels really bad for me and hates how he let me down yet again. What just absolutely astounds me is how can she feel that way yet still emotionally and mentally abuse me and kick me while I'm down. I just can't for the life of me comprehend that. I mean can anyone make sense of that?

A couple days after that weekend one of my teachers asked to have a word with me and said he heard I got into a bit of trouble at home ("if he meant been mentally abused by my mother and been let down by my father as trouble" I thought). I'm not even sure who the hell said what to him and that's something that's still REALLY baffling me. I just fobbed him off saying I was upset about leaving school (which was true as well).

I really struggle with confiding in people. I do regret not telling him the full truth now. He reassured me and said he was very proud of me etc. Another teacher once said that he thought of me and my mother as like the dream team or something along those lines. That turned my stomach as well. I was thinking if only they knew half the things I've been through.

I have autism and went to a special support school for the last few years which were some of the best years (The teachers especially were brilliant and I had many great times such as school camps, school balls and excursions etc). I do feel quite sad and lost now those years are over. I graduated in December and I now do a certificate course at the main campus so I still see them all from time to time.

Her next meltdown was this January while we were on holiday and at the beach. I wanted to be shirtless like pretty much everyone else and she started making passive aggressive and snide remarks saying things like "have fun burning yourself" and "why can't you make smart decisions?". She was been very cold and unreasonable. I was already sun safe with a hat and everything and I wasn't going to be too long and tried explaining that to her but no. I'll admit I finally snapped and told her that I'm an adult now and she could no longer control me and couldn't make me feel guilty. I wish I hadn't now but it felt like something just snapped inside me and I expressed things I had felt for ages. After I said about been my own person she said "you'd be nothing without me". I do regret that as it did actually make me look crazy as we were in public also afterwards she was all calm and innocent. I tried to explain calmly that she can't guilt me and tried to make her realize how her sarcastic comments and quite frankly mean attitude was upsetting me but that wasn't working. I even said that she's been narcissistic with her comment about me been nothing without her but it was like talking to a brick wall. She then said "look everyone thinks you're crazy and as you're an adult now I can get the police over here". She then just suddenly called her mother to tell her that I was been impossible and making her life a misery (this is something she has done a few times before when I challenged her or reacted because of her behavior). She hadn't done that for years though and I feel she likes using that as a scare tactic. I then just ran off into the sea but all of my excitement was ruined and I was feeling very sad and confused about what just happened. I was starting to feel that maybe I overreacted or am remembering things wrong and my mind was feeling very fogged. I really wish I had just walked away and still kick myself. Then the next day I asked mum to call her to say were all ok but she said she didn't want to bother her and wasn't up to calling. I was like WTF. You're perfectly happy to call her to basically slander me and make me out to be a bad guy but when it comes to calling to say everything is fine she's not so keen.

A couple of weeks ago I've told her that I wanted to do another certificate course at that school next year and she tried to make me feel bad by putting on the guilt trip and giving me the cold shoulder. I've tried to blur it out to be honest but I remember she said that I was been selfish and told me how she wanted me to live my life. I tried to explain to her that I can't just do what she expects and the expense of my own happiness and well-being. I feel like she is trying to control how I live my life and I told her that she couldn't do that or tear me down or change my mind. She then said (this felt like reverse psychology and emotional blackmail) fine do whatever you want and I'll do the same. Also shouted and carried on saying things like F me and I'm hopeless and that. I also told her that I would love to be a teacher but she said i wouldn't be able to go to university, scoffed and said that I would be useless. I feel like she's trying to damage my already limited self esteem, confidence and spirit. Also she had been fairly good up to this. I was dreading telling her but I do feel that a weight is lifted as well. It seems funny that whenever I tell her something she doesn't like or she can't control she goes back to her bad self. PS she's also upset that she can't get paid for me doing that and wants me to just do what's best for her financially. I find it quite ironic her making me feel bad for not getting a job straight away while she's unemployed. PS it was the school ball that night which was brilliant but I'm disappointed that it went so quickly and also I feel a bit down about my social anxiety and that I didn't ask anyone to dance or make more conversation with my teachers and peers.

Then a few nights later my mum was going out for the night and she seemed a bit tipsy so I did ask out of concern if she was fit to drive. She immediately got defensive and bit my head off and said I was having a go at her. I only asked out of concern and worry and I tried explaining that a hundred times but she just wasn't having it. I also tried to explain that her getting defensive if anything proves my worry is valid but she started saying I was harassing her and she was sick of my bullshit and sick of putting up with me and she couldn't wait to get away from me. She also just suddenly pulled her shirt off showing her breasts ( believe it or not that's something she has done once or twice before ages ago). I was just shocked and looked away quickly as possible. When I tried to ascertain why she got so defensive she said that I think I can just say whatever I like to her and for her to just take it. I swear I didn't mean any ill-will or malice and of course I tried explaining that too but no. I just don't know for the life of me how she can turn on me just like that and treat her own son like that.

Both that and that previous thing a few nights before she said we're not going on holidays again this year and she brought up that incident from the January holiday I talked about and said that she hated been isolated there with me while I was been horrible to her. Wtf when she was the one belittling me and having a go at me which made me snap and I did apologize for that. She genuinely seems to think that she's actually the victim when she gets defensive and treats me like shit. Then when she left and i was starting to second guess myself and was thinking that maybe I am in the wrong and am a bad person. I was left alone for the night I'm feeling very isolated and confused. PS since that holiday she was actually been fairly good but after both that night after the school ball and that incident both only within a few days has left me feeling blindsided and like the rug has been pulled from under me also feel like I'm back at square one. Basically I really can't fathom how someone can treat their own child like this. Just beggars belief to say the least.

Now when she came back the next day I tried to start a conversation about the last night and she did get teary and said she was sorry but still when I tried to get her to take some accountability and realize how exactly she hurt me she was just like "I said I was sorry didn't I?" and said I just kept going over the same thing and said she was sick of me bringing up the past. She started not making much sense and playing dumb a bit. I just wanted her to realize how she upset me and also the previous incidents and she said "i guess I'm just the worst mother ever". Am I justified for feeling as though she hasn't really taken accountability? We have sort of made up now I suppose but I just stopped talking about it to keep the peace really.

I should add that last incident was a week ago now and it really bothers me how she's all happy now and acting like that never happened whilst I'm carrying emotional scars and still feel as though I haven't really had any closure or true accountability. Also her harsh words and still deeply wounded in me and I'm feel like a piece of shit and like I'm unlovable.

Like I've said she go from been genuinely the most nicest person to the most horrible.

I stayed with my father the other night and the next day he started carrying on and had a meltdown because he's only got like $30 left. I hope this doesn't sound too selfish but I felt very disappointed and let down that he couldn't even go a whole day without carrying on about his issues especially as I don't see him often. I don't think spending money on pot, cigarettes and vapes helps does it? That's what really burns my hide is that he has enough to spend on his terrible habits but when it comes to buying basic food when I was there for only a night he has very little. I mean is it too much to ask that when he does rarely see me that he can be on his best behaviour? It stresses me out and adds to my anxiety when I hear about my parents issues. He then rambling that he's been cursed since his father died young and if he was still alive they'd all be millionaires. Of course I feel really bad and am sorry that he died young. Though to be fair he has apologized and explained that he wasn't upset with me he was just very disappointed that he didn't have much which I really do appreciate. I just wish he could get his act together.

I'm starting to feel that the good doesn't really outweigh the bad.

I can't help really resenting them sometimes for all of the mental anguish they've both put me through as a child and I think it has messed up my development. I wonder what might've been different had I had proper parents or they were proper ones. Hobbies such as music and classic TV shows have been a great escape. I've thought about escaping but I feel quite stuck as I don't have a job and all of the money that I get in my account is basically controlled by my mother as she's the one who adds to it and I pretty much don't know anything about my own bank details. I wish I could hide my own secret stash somewhere. Now that I'm an adult and have left school I'm worried about what the future has in store. I'm very nervous about starting an adult life, getting a job, making friends and doing new things etc. Part of me would love to get away from her but yet I feel scared to as well as she's pretty much most I've ever known. She has said that I'm her number one. I think if that's how you treat your number one.

I would love to confide in someone about my struggles but don't know where to start. I've thought about confiding in that first teacher I mentioned who's great and we're fairly close but my teachers think my mother's an absolute saint so how can i ensure he believes me?

I struggle with daily flashbacks and I often feel depressed by the way I've been treated, also feel let down and wish my parents had been better to me. They actually both used to run their own businesses once upon a time before they met. It just baffles me how they went from that then and now been in their 50's both unemployed and are quite messed up. I sometimes think maybe they shouldn't of got together which I know is ironic because I would never have been born. I do vaguely remember when they were together and towards the end it was quite toxic and they would have some intense fights.

Also does their substance abuse issues made them this way as well do you think? As I've said my mother drinks quite heavily at night and she also vapes and my father smokes pot and cigarettes.

Also as my father struggles financially I know that's why he hasn't been able to see me often and cancel some visits and to be honest when I think about that it really burns my hide.

I do wonder if she might've been different if she had not gone through her divorce and maybe if things had gone differently for both of them they might've been different. What do you guys think?

I must admit I do feel very down sometimes as my father barely makes an effort with me and my mother treats me as like an emotional punching bag. Makes me think that there must be something really wrong with me and that I'm unlovable. I wonder what I've done to deserve this.

Honestly one of the most frightening things is that they genuinely don't seem to remember most of even any of it so that's why I'm too scared to call them out. Also they seem to feel their behaviour is ok.

PS I'm really good at covering up my anxiety and pride myself on putting on a cheerful front and everyone at school thinks I'm the most happiest and optimistic person ever. I feel scared to let my guard down or if they knew otherwise.

Also none of the family have a clue and I just know they wouldn't believe me and I fear if I did distance myself from her they'd think I was an evil person.

I wish I had a proper childhood of playing with friends, going to different places and been adventurous and carefree etc. I've never really had a social circle and hardly much friends. I've always been quite different to most of the children my age. I feel quite alone sometimes as I've always struggled with making friends. I do feel like I've wasted a lot of my childhood been isolated with my mother a lot of the time. I would really love to start a proper life and follow my dreams and make a few friends but don't know where to start.

I swear I sometimes feel as though I've been given the most selfish, toxic, messed up, irresponsible and emotionally immature parents ever. I'm not crazy for feeling the way I do about everything am I?

PS before anyone says anything about therapy I did try that once a few years ago but really struggled to open up. I struggle to do that with people I know nevermind a stranger.

To be honest I can't help but feel really resentful sometimes when I see people with proper and decent parents also when I see others living life to the fullest and I don't know how to be like them.

so my dad has an history of abusive and stuff
- he cheated on my mom like a million times
- he talks to little girls sends them
money exchange of nudes
- tried choking my mom to death infront of me when i was 7
- hitting me when i told about being sucidical
- he have hit me and my brother as a kid too alot
but today was insane so me and my 8 yr old brother were laughing okay why!? because i was getting hicups so his laugh came out so did mine and for some frekn reason my dad just stood from
his chair in anger slaped my 8yr old brother so hard across the face he fall on the glass table and then he punched him so hard with all his force on my 8yr old old brothers back mind u my brother is so slim and weak omg that my brother got squeezed with the side table and then my mom screamed and told him to stop he was coming next to try to hit me but my mom stopped him even tho he didnt hit me this time all the past abuse truma everything kick in i went into the bathroom idk why i started shaking my chest was heavy i couldn’t breath maybe it was a trauma response idk!
then few min later my mom asked me
to help her put that table a little aside mind u nobody ask my dad for anything or even talked he just out of nowhere started screaming why do u have to do this bullshit rn!! and my mom was like um nobody is talking to u focus on ur work and continue working on ur laptop we are doing our thing he went like oh am
i talking to WALLS OR WHAT!! like screaming then later i went to bed and heard him say that he would have hit me twice too !? i am lucky to be saved and he just went on to hit my brother for now and the justification he gave for hitting my brother was my dad was not feeling well and was already having trouble breathing and when he gets home he heard annoying laugh of kids!?” like helloooooooo!? is it a crime to laugh
i cant stop crying i hate my dad so much i hope he dies with my whole heart eghh i even in the past exposed him of cheating and sending shi to minors and side chicks and literally talking bad about his own kids to his side chicks and to shut my mouth he have given me iphone 17!? but my mom knows everything i told her everything but he was like comparing himself to me as he “caught me texting a boy once”like hello!? i am 14 i am not married WITH 2 kids, orrrrr
sendinf nudes or money like u do dad tf BITCH!! ?
and he keeps telling us stories of kids being taken away because they reported abuse to scare us so we dont open our mouths infront of social worker or consulers🙂 like wth
anywyas i know the first thing i am doing is moving out at 18 but i am so scared and i feel like just dying already i cant take this anymore i still have 3 more years until i am free i just cant stop crying what is ur guys advice!?
cuz then he is like
none loves mee
“i do all of this hardwork for u guys but u are so selfishhh “
“why do WOMEN HATE ALLL MEN!!”
“not all men are same “
“hating on men means u hate ur own dad to huh” like yeah bish u are the forst heartbreak and a reason i started hating men now what?

right now i still have a couple years till i turn 18, but my mom has said a few times before (especially when we argue) “just wait till you turn 18” and doesn’t talk to me—we just don’t have a good relationship in general, especially in recent years. i’m scared and don’t know how far she’ll go. (also i think even if she doesn’t kick me out, my parents would probably start charging me rent)

My mother is manipulative and shows narcissistic tendencies. I haven't had a relationship with her in over 10 years and haven't spoke to her in over 7 (till this week).

So, a few times a year she tries to reach out, but the whole family has cut her out and we ignore her. Little annoying but it's a text here a missed call there, whatever. This week though, she went off the deep end. She started calling my work (I work in a public government job so my name and work number are public) and when I blocked her she *67 me so I wouldn't know it was her. She was also emailing a lot.

I accidentally answered the first *67 and spoke to her for a minute. I told her she is not my mom, she sounds high, and to move on. Then I hung up but she called 2 more times. 3rd time she left a message saying she would find me, she sent similar messages to other family.

I went to the courts and got a protective order but we have no idea where she lives and it is on me to try and find the right county to give the summons to. So I tried and heres hoping. We have court later this month. My family says I did wrong and should have just called in a complaint. They said, I am giving her the opportunity to speak in court and in that way she wins.

I am just so tired and want this over with. No one has heard from her the last 2 days thankfully.

Im 23 f and Im unfortunately living with my family till I pass my job probation and move out. my mum is extremely controlling and toxic but I have no other family so im stuck. For context she had me at 16 and we never saw eye to eye cause she had tantrums I have to deal with all time. Every month on my period I get the same bullshit, I get told I stink horribly or other stuff related to my hygiene. I shower regularly especially on my period since I have pcos my flow is so damn heavy, shes the only person that comments this none of siblings friends or anyone has ever has ever noticed this putrid smell she keeps smelling. I would walk in the room shes gagging or telling to change my clothes. Theres been time ive leaked cause of my heavy flow and I would obviously clean after myself but I would crucified while doing it. There was this one time I had clumps coming out and I was passing out in the shower from the amount of blood coming out of me and all she could do was complain. I dont know if this her being grossed out by periods but it honestly makes me really upset how she digs into me. I cant even avoid telling her since she checks the bins and goes through my laundry even after telling her to stop.

I don't understand what to do in life, should I run away from home or take a small job for 8k-10k because staying at home is no longer possible and I'm not getting a job...

I don't even have the courage to commit suicide and I can't see a way forward, who made parents like gods in society... why can't a person just be a person...

If someone really wants to help, please tell me a peaceful way?🙏🙏

I got yelled at today because I said "the sink broke" instead of "I broke the sink" I was brushing my teeth and the handle fell off in my hand, I was panicking a bit because I couldn't get it back on to turn it off so yelled for my dad to help. I eventually stopped being stupid and just turned the little thingy inside to make it stop but my dad yelled at me because I wasn't using "active language." I didn't do anything, it literally came off in my hand but he blamed me anyway.

It's always my fault. A while ago we were heading back from visiting my grandparents and I couldn't stand up in the airport because I started fainting every time. I threw up a bit too. I genuinely thought I was dying. My parents yelled at me that they were gonna put me in a mental hospital and to stop being dramatic, they said it was just an anxiety attack from being away from my grandparents.

Later on I found out it wasn't. I have a thing where if I eat sugar to early in the morning the crash will make those same symptoms. The flight was super early and my grandparents had fed me chocolate ice cream as a good bye gift. I told them this and they just kinda awkwardly skirted around it and were still saying I was too dramatic basically.

I'm just really sick of this and needed to rant. Whenever something breaks now I'm constantly thinking about what I did wrong and what I'm gonna be lectured about. Every time school is too much and I need to stay home I fake being sick because otherwise they'd get mad and give me a bit lecture about being dramatic and how schools important even though I've barely missed any this year. It's exhausting.

Whenever I talk to people about it, they tell me, 'You have to find a job.' Do they really think I haven't tried? I worked right after finishing college, saved up some money, and then absolutely nothing after that. For over a year now, I've spent entire days sending out CVs, and NO ONE RESPONDS TO ME. At this point, it feels impossible for me to find a job, but I can't keep suppressing my life while living under their roof either. I'm even thinking about building a small wooden shed in the garden and just staying there forever. I hate my family to death. My grandmother, though, literally keeps calling me all the time and it's so fucking annoyed that she doesn't get i dont want to talk to her anymore???But I don't want anything to do with them anymore. What should I do? Is living in the garden actually an effective idea until someone finally bothers to answer my CV? I just recovered from over year of alcoholism, depression, and many suicidal thoughts. I tried to kill myself twice in the last year and ended up in the hospital. Now I really need to build some peace around myself.

My mom is a very toxic person. She constantly judges me and compares me to other people. She says things like, “Look, she got a job, and she even gives tuition classes. And you just sit at home all day. We can’t afford to keep feeding you forever.”

I’m 24 years old, and I’ve been preparing for government exams, but I haven’t been able to clear one yet. Every day, I wake up to taunts and criticism. She verbally abuses me throughout the day and even tells me that something terrible will happen to me in life

My relationship with her is extremely bad. Honestly, I don’t think we even have a 1% healthy relationship. Living like this is emotionally exhausting, and I feel like I can never do anything right in her eyes.

I haven’t seen my dad properly in months.

For context i’m 19F and autistic. My dad and I used to be close,

at least from what I remember (that isn’t him screaming at me or having issues w/ my mom) but now he doesn’t know me, we don’t have anything to talk about. I know he cares but it just feels like it’s all on me all the time. Especially now.

It doesn’t help that he has a new kid with his new wife. (6yr old) she’s lovely, but i can’t mantain a bond with her due to my estrangement with my dad. And she’s also not very easy to handle being around (very hyper and constantly wanting my dad’s attention.).

This is gonna sound pathetic but I’m jealous sometimes. I feel replaced.

I know it’s partly my fault for struggling to keep contact but my anxiety around seeing him combined with my autism and pathological demand avoidance makes actually offering to see him impossible.

I just miss when things were easier. And we would cuddle and laugh and just have fun.

And I was the centre of his world.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m not miserable with my Dad but it’s not the same.

I know i’m remembering my childhood with him through rose tinted glasses when I yearn for the “better times” but fuck it did feel simpler back then.

It all just comes back to me feeling replaced.

I don’t fit anymore.

This is childish to say but i’m saying it anyway: I miss being special.

Sorry for this ramble it’s 1:30am and I’ve randomly started feeling like shit.

I spent most of my adult life living with my parents, consistently contributing to the household. Every month, I transferred money—referenced as "bills"—to my mum’s account. My dad repeatedly promised we would sell the house together and upgrade to a bigger family property. Believing we were building a shared future, I poured my disposable income into their home instead of saving for my own deposit.

Things changed drastically after I got married. My sister, who lives abroad but visits on holidays, started whispering in my mum's ear and actively turned my parents against my wife. My partner was struggling with a severe medical condition (now better) and wasn't physically well, yet my parents actually demanded that I divorce her. I absolutely refused. The constant commotion caused by my sister's visits destroyed any peace in the house, so I eventually moved out to protect my wife.

Then, behind my back, my parents transferred the property under my sister's name. I was completely cut out of the arrangement without a word of warning.

The fallout was devastating:

Housing instability: Because my financial resources went into their house, I had no deposit of my own. I ended up facing severe housing instability (was homeless), moving from place to place while working a demanding full-time job.

Starting a family in crisis: My partner and I found out we were expecting our first child right around this time. The realization that my baby wouldn't have the stability I had spent years paying for—and that I had to scramble from scratch—was heartbreaking.

The absolute lack of awareness: Not long after, while I was navigating this housing crisis, my dad had the audacity to ask me for £800. When I told him I genuinely didn't have it, he asked, "Where is your money going?"—completely ignoring that my money had gone into his household for years.

It has now been about a year. On the surface, things have stabilized. I am back in touch with my family, and day-to-day interactions are calm. In fact, they are often very "nice" to me.

The problem is the internal emotional whiplash. They act as if the betrayal never happened. There has been zero accountability, no apology, and no acknowledgment of the financial and emotional hole they put me in. Every time they are pleasant, I feel a suffocating weight in my chest. I feel fake smiling back at them, and the resentment is eating away at me because I know how much easier life would be for my pregnant wife if they had kept their word.

For those who have experienced a deep betrayal by parents who swept it under the rug:

How do you cope with family being "nice" to you when they never took accountability for devastating harm?

Does the bitterness ever naturally fade without a confrontation, or is low/no contact the only way to find genuine peace?

How do you stop feeling like a hypocrite when you keep things cordial for the sake of basic family ties?

I (43) hate my mother (80 - 81, her age is a mystery as her age has a story?!?!).  I dont want to see her for the rest of my life.  One look at her face I feel extremely disgusted.  I dont know how to escape and disappear as I want her house upon her death which I dont think she will ever die as she is the most selfish and toxic people on earth.  All her family members will die ahead of her and she will be the only one left on earth because she will protect herself from all sort of stress as she needs to protect her "beauty".

At the same time, all the spiteful words and behavior could be cognitive decline but she will not admit and will say I am just cursing her. I am not. I suggest her to see doctor and take some medication.

Common behavior that I have to put up every time I see her. Please note it is every time.

1) Your shirt is too short (no it is not, it is just that when lift arm, soooo little belly meat showed)

2) Your hair doesn't look nice

3) Your hair is in bad condition, you should not use a wood comb

4) you are too fat , you dont believe, go ask your father

5) you need to lose weight

6) you should not wear this shoe or that shoe, but oh, you dont take care of your shoes anyway.

7) you should not buy a house because you will be in debt

8) you should not buy a house as you didnt keep your condo in pristine condition anyway

9) all woman not married are crazy (referring to I am crazy, which i am not)

10) you spent too much on our family trip (repeat this phrase everyday multiple times on a 23 day trip)

11) you are a bad daughter.  you are the worst person as a child i have ever seen.

12) dont order food (we are at a restaurant)

13) telling me indirectly in many different indirect ways that she is most "hot" most beautiful woman for her age.........

14) your face is red your eyes are red, you look like you are mad you are furious (all coworker say I have pearly perfect skin though)

15) your skin is dark dont go out to the sun

16) She likes to make up things to boast about me and expect me to respond to her fake story.  I refuse to do so.  She said how come you dont like me to compliment you....... (I used to believe her but when I was in my thirties, she is only boasting herself not me)

Basically, I have to wear clothes that she likes to prevent criticism so to prevent my mood getting destroyed for many days. 

Signs I strongly believe she has cognitive decline so I should sympathize her but she wont admit

1) Repeatedly using the wrong words to refer to things like restaurant A is called for example Ginger Beef but she calls it something else and something else she calls it Ginger Beef.  Even reminded she still calls a place name wrong.

2) Non-stop mouth movement.  Her mouth is continuously chewing on a super tiny piece of food left in her mouth from a meal.

3) Her hand is continuously moving up and down on her thigh.

4) Her fingers are continuously gently scratching her thigh.

5) She spits out food countless times during every meal.  She particularly likes to open her mouth when her mouth is ultra stuffed with food and she let it spray however in her eyes, she is most elegant woman.

6) She got scary eyes when looking at anyone like no one can be compared to her.

7) She asked weird questions all day long like when we were on a train carriage, there is only a few people, she asks did the people behind us eat, ,did the people behind us leave the train.

Why does she care? and if she care so much can she turn her only own head to check herself????

8) At a fancier restaurant, completely unprovoked, she looked at other table and criticize to me and say "I dont like to look at them", "those woman's walk gesture disgusted her", "those woman looked at the menu for so long they probably cant afford the food" "it not like they will order expensive food anyways".

9) Always looking at other tables at restaurant and criticize other people food or clothes.

10) She needs to pull her clothes down and look at other people when she walks past restaurant table.

11) Most of time, she forgot what she just said.  I took so many spiteful words from her and she said I am imagining things because I think she truly forgot.

SO, do you think she has mental disorder or she is toxic?????

Hello everyone.

For context: I’m 18M in Azerbaijan.

My dad has been telling me to cut my long curly hair for weeks or even months. I always got angry because of that and he knows that. Today, we were together in full subway train standing. I put my backpack between my legs, and someone, as my dad said, approached me from behind. My dad says that the man approached me was suspicious and chose exactly that part of carriage instead of a free one. My dad tells him go away, and he didn’t, then my dad said that he is standing with his son( me) and that man( as my dad said he looked like 55-60 yo). That stranger left carriage in the next station. Now, my dad tells me that man wanted to do something bad to me, may be threaten or rob me. I find really weird, especially considering that I didn’t hear anything.

In addition, my dad tells me that I look like a girl from behind, people look badly at man with long hair, like it’s a sign of weirdness and weakness for men, someone will attack me because of my hair, men with long hair are considered [slur for the word “gay”], we aren’t in Europe, there are murderers killing gays( He basically thinks that I look like a gay while I’m not and he’s also homophobic as soon as I know). I mean WTF, I wasn’t bullied that much even at school.

Now, I also started to dislike my hair, and I think that it’s too long and want to a little cut it and make it neater( it’s actually too long and kind of chaotic). And because of all what he says to me, I can’t focus and get angry while trying to study. AND I HAVE FUCKIN EXAM TOMORROW ABOUT WHICH HE DOESN’T CARE. Studying is stressful, and he is bothering alongside is infuriating.

He never cared about my emotions and mental health, and for me he’s a complete asshole. Yeah, this situation may look vanilla but he have said things worse than this. However, I want to talk about particularly this one.

And I hate the fact that he wins if I eventually cut my hair, even if I wanted so.

What can I do in my situation, and please, don’t say “Just cut your hair because you want it yourself”. If I just cut my hair, he will continue that shit and act like I’m his personal possession . Moving is an awful option, so I have to live with him for 2-3 more years and probably depend on him for 2 more years( master’s degree abroad). However, it’s a serious threat to my mental health, and I can’t afford a therapist.

I already have problems, my mood shifts from bad to good and from good to bad every 2 weeks, I struggle with studying and focusing, I’m getting angry a lot.

P.S This post planned to be about today’s situation but I was so angry that I wrote more about overall situation. Please, if you know any subreddit to which I could cross-post this( in case if I can’t find advice here) tell me.

Ok so.. I (17NB, HS senior) live with both parents (dad and NB). NB parent has had a past with extremely toxic ex parents. Dad has not, far as I know- he is a therapist, but often sides with my NB parent.

Yes. They're lenient with some things. Like, they know my med conditions (hypothyroidism and GP) and do what they can to help. They know I'm an AuDHD person with trauma. I'm allowed to choose my own bedtime on the weekends if I get my schoolwork done during the week / not failing any classes. I can ask them to order things for me sometimes. They're extremely queer accepting. We share jokes. We watch movies. We bake. My NB parent is autistic with childhood trauma and my dad has ADHD. We are all ex christian.

Neither of my parents have ever laid a hand on me that I didn't want. I am fed. I have a bed and roof. Neither of them have ever used that to gain leverage (ie. "I gave you food/roof and this is how you treat me?")

For future reference? My NB parent has repeatedly said that when they do something wrong/to upset me, we can talk about it, they will listen, etc.

I have one older sibling (21) but that's kind of irrelevant in this post.

My NB parent has a habit of gaslighting me. I think. We've had lots and lots of arguments. For some reason it seems like they always need the higher position / "I'm right bc I'm the psrent" and almost never admits when they're wrong regarding things they did to me / how damaging they were.

They yell. Then tell me I'm yelling.

They twist reality. Then tell me my perception is wrong.

I can maybe count on the fingers of one hand how many times in the past year they have admitted they were wrong in an argument, regarding what they said/how they treated me, to my face.

I have ADHD, too. Medically confirmed. And I've been told that the reason I'm wrong is because I have ADHD and can't remember shit. So I've had to take to documenting things that are said mid argument that way I can call them out later if we need to take a break. And still, my parent tells me I'm wrong.

I've heard using "I" statements helps, but my parent just flips it around calmly like, "well thats what you feel and I hear you but its not what I'm doing." I feel like thats also tied into my alexithymia.

Is this toxic parenting, if it is, what helped? Please give tips xx

Have a great day/night wherever you are and thanks in advance!

My sons birthday is coming up and I got a call from my dad (who is separated from my mom) that he has “a bunch of presents” from my mom for my son and was asking if I wanted to get them that day or later. Im just so sick of this honestly. I tried talking to her back in February about her behavior especially around my son and was hoping for a mature conversation but I know her and I called exactly how I knew it was going to go. She ended up denying everything, cussing me out and calling me dramatic. I ignored her texts after that and I havent contacted her since.

The last time she tried reaching out to me was to guilt trip me about my brothers graduation in May in which she also used my son saying that my brother would be sad if my (literal) baby wasnt there. I didn’t reply, I did go to the graduation cause I was planning to already and luckily I didn’t see her at all. During this time she gave a hoodie that she bought for my son to my brother to give to me. And now she’s doing it with birthday gifts. She doesn’t even know what he likes, what size clothes he is, etc. He’s gonna be a year old so its not like he even remembers her.

I also know she hasnt changed or done any self reflection on the things I pointed out to her cause she’ll tell my dad that he needs to talk some sense into me and “one of us is being dramatic about this”. Not to mention, I was told my older brother is currently no contact with her as well but I have no idea what has happened with that. This woman is just incapable of accepting she could be wrong in any situation and does not know how to give an apology especially to her kids. I have no interest in having a relationship with her, Im happier not having her in my life and its been something Ive been wanting since I was a young child. It sounds harsh but I honestly do not have love for her. I just want her to stop trying to somewhat be involved with my child cause she clearly doesn’t care about trying to fix anything with me.

It is difficult because we still live in the same town as each other and moving out of town right now isn’t an option for me. My husband and hers have ran into each other at the store and her husband basically kept repeating “What can we do to get them to talk again? Come on, youre the man of the house. Get her to talk to her mom” as if my husband controls what I do and who I talk to?? My husband’s response was this is more than just her actions towards me/my son postpartum, the way she acted was just the final straw for me.

My mom is in her 50s and I’m 20 years old. Over the last many years my mom follows whatever is the most popular on her social media at the time. My mom has been making ranting posts SO often, sometimes even daily which are bashing religion, straight people, not wanting inappropriate things talked about infront of my siblings kids. This all started with the roe V wade and her algorithm continued to spiral after that, all day long she is talking about gay people. My mom went to lunch with my oldest sister (28) my brother in law (30) and my niece which is their daughter (3). At this lunch my mom was speaking very loud about abortion, transgender and the whole LGBT community. My mom was talking about this stuff with absolutely no response from my sister or her husbands other than the looks on their face of discomfort because she talked about this for the entire hour long lunch without talking about anything else infront of the 3 year old. My mom has tried to self diagnose my niece with autism (very high on the spectrum she says), my mom has diagnosed herself with autism and has diagnosed my stepdad with autism. My mom posts absolutely everything on facebook, her and my stepdad fighting?? Post it on facebook, my sister cutting her off because she seems to be going crazy? She posts it on facebook. Sometimes they argue for weeks on end, she will post at least something 1x a day about them fighting on FACEBOOK. My mom told my best friend who is a Christian that anybody who is a Christian is a PEDO!!! I have 2 step sisters (13 A-B honor roll& 19 Special needs) my mom believes she is more deserving of their dads time than they are, my mom will Be pissed if he spends the day off with them instead of herself. My 13 year old sister has to take care of the 19 year old (special needs) and receives absolutely nothing for it, my mom will complain any time my 13 year old sister needs anything at all (new clothes, hair products, shoes, shampoo) and they will say she needs to “work for it” as if she isn’t asking for the bare Minimum of things and already taking care of her special needs sister 45+ hours a week on top of my mom always telling her she needs to be cleaning the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom, taking out the trash. I truly believe my mom hates her and just wants to treat her like this because she does not like her for absolutely no reason. Somebody help! This is all my mom talks about for the last like whole entire year and I cannot take it anymore, there is so so so so so many more times where she has done just crazy things I just can’t even figure out how to write it all out properly I feel like there is something so wrong with my moms head on such a weird fucked up way. She’s talking to my 2 month old baby saying just weird stuff to him about the gay community, the government, women’s rights. I understand these things are needing to be talked about but this seems EXTREMELY obsessive, the situation where she isn’t nice to a CHILD, help what do I do????

How can you tell your parents are abusing you emotionally??!, because i feel so confused all the time and i feel like it's always my fault( even when i don't do anything wrong)

About 3 months ago I got kicked out of out of my parents house because I snuck out to go get food because my grandmother was refusing to let me eat. Ever since then I’ve kept low contact with my parents, I want to preface by saying when I say parents I mean my dad and grandma because they’re the ones who raised me. My grandmother was the main toxic person in the household but my dad just didn’t do anything about it because he “didn’t want to start problems” and “it’s his mother” but that definitely still makes him part of the problem. The main thing though is my grandmother keeps telling everyone in the family that I “walked out suddenly” and even convinced my dad that’s what happened too, it did not, what really happened was my grandmother refused to let me eat anything in the house “just in case” my dad got hungry so my now fiancé had to sneak food into the house so I could hoard it in my room which was in the basement. One day I ran out so I left to go the food pantry and while I was at it I also hung out with my fiancé. I ended up sleeping over at my fiancée’s place accidentally and they weren’t happy with that at all, my grandmother told me I could either tell her the password to my phone or get out and there was no in between for her so I left and when I actually did leave she got angry with me and said I wasn’t allowed to bring anything she ever bought with me because they’re “belonged” to her, so I didn’t, she insisted that I had to be hiding something of “hers” in my bag when I was going but I was not and almost put her hands on my until I threatened to call the police for doing so. Which ultimately leads to now, since then I’ve spoken to one family member and she was baffled when I actually told her what happened and why my dad basically refused to do anything, I’ve spoken to my dad a few times but every time it’s me reaching out to him and not him to me. I ended up going to an event with him and he said he was shocked I didn’t invite my grandmother even though when I’ve been mentioned to her over the few phone calls I’ve had with my dad all she does is criticize me and ask when I’m getting all my “junk” out of her house.

To also preface she’s also done the following before I was kicked out. Forced me to sit on the floor because I was sitting on the couch “incorrectly”. Left me in a dark room for hours between the ages of 5-9. Body shamed me for all of my teenage years because it’s just how “she is” and she’s from an older generation. Slapped me across the face twice because she didn’t like that I was wearing a cross because I wasn’t explicitly into religion at the time and she said I was a mockery to her family name for it. Made me sleep on the floor while I had a life threatening kidney infection and war infection, along with refusing to let my dad bring me to the ER because I was obviously faking it for attention and “I could wait”, then when I got medical attention she refused to let me take my meds several times because she didn’t want me to end up like my “druggie mom”. Constantly compared me to my older cousin because she was the “pretty one” in the family. Forced me down because she wanted to pick at my pimples and didn’t stop until I literally threw up from the pain. And that is literally not even half of it because this has been going on my entire life and got worse as I got older.

Thank you for reading all of this I could really use some advice for going forward or at least some reassurance that I’m not crazy or overreacting to everything. Also right now it really hard to get a job because I can’t drive due to a medical condition or do anything more than part time because of a different medical condition, both of which I didn’t find out about until after I got kicked out and could’ve been managed easier if discovered at a younger age but couldn’t due the medical negligence of my parents.

Hey! I’m 18F, and I recently got a new job. I’ve posted on here before about my parents having medical issues and how it I hate it.

I recently got a job! Which I’m super excited about because I can start to save for my schooling and for a car, which I desperately need. I also have bills of my own that I need to pay. Small amounts but bills nonetheless.

Well, I go in for my first shift, and I’m not allowed to drive. (I know I’m 18 but it’s a whole thing with my parents) so, my mom takes me. The whole ride I am a little irritated bc my mom is super slow moving about getting there fast—but that got my mom to start complaining about how much stuff she lost for her medical bc she can’t pay it.

Saying how much money it would be to get it back, how much she owes, everything—she’s wanting me to give her money when I get my first paycheck. Which I’m not. I have a whole reason for this, but she never pays people back. She says she will and then she doesn’t. She owes me well over 1,000 dollars and says she doesn’t.

Idk. It’s just irritating.

​

I'm a 20 year old girl, currently pursuing a BSc in Biology while preparing for NEET. I took a drop year and am staying at home to study. My parents are extremely controlling, and I feel like I'm under surveillance 24/7. I barely get any freedom, and whenever I try to do something for myself, it turns into an argument.

I'm constantly taunted for not earning money, compared to boys my age who supposedly would already have jobs, and threatened with marriage because I'm a girl. The irony is that I'm expected to study and prepare for my future while having almost no independence.

I have two really close friends who are genuinely the reason I manage to get through things at home. Recently, I had two events planned with them on separate days. I managed to attend the first one, but the second one was something I was really looking forward to.

Knowing how my parents are, I asked my father for permission 10 days in advance, because they always complain that I ask too late. He agreed, so I planned everything with my friends, bought the tickets, paid the fees, arranged my outfit, and sorted out the transportation.

Now, literally the day before the event, he changed his mind. We had a huge argument, and he told me that if I wanted to go, I should leave the house permanently and never come back.

I don't earn anything, have practically no money of my own, and don't have the skills to get a job immediately. I can't just leave home without knowing how I'd survive.

The situation is especially upsetting because the event involved my close friend, her boyfriend, his best friend, and me. My friend's boyfriend and I have developed a genuine brother-sister bond, and his best friend likes me. Although I don't have romantic feelings for him yet, I thought he was genuinely nice and was willing to give things a chance by getting to know him better.

We had everything planned, and he even bought a new outfit to colour-coordinate with mine. Knowing how excited he was makes me feel terrible. I don't want him to think I stood him up, rejected him, or wasted his time when the truth is that I genuinely cannot go.

My parents said horrible things to me and my friend during the argument. I recorded what happened and sent it to her, and she was also on a call when things escalated. I've asked her to explain everything to the others because I usually hide what happens at home, but this time I want them to understand the truth.

I've already cancelled my ride, and the event is tomorrow. I don't know how to face them, especially that guy. I feel guilty towards everyone, even though I know I tried my best to make these plans work.

This incident has also made me realise how badly I need financial independence. I want to learn skills and get a job while continuing my studies, but I genuinely don't know where to start.

I'm mentally exhausted. I feel trapped between protecting my housing situation and having the freedom to live a normal life. I didn't deliberately hurt anyone, yet I feel like I've disappointed the few people who genuinely care about me.

I need advice on a few things:

- How do I explain this to the guy without making him feel rejected or leading him on?

- How do I face my friends without feeling embarrassed and guilty?

- How do I stop blaming myself for something that's beyond my control?

- How can I start earning money and building financial independence while continuing my BSc and NEET preparation, especially when I have no job-ready skills?

I'm not planning to impulsively leave home when I have no financial security. I'm just tired of living under these restrictions and having to fear losing my home every time I try to do something for myself.

I just wanted one normal day with my friends, and now I don't know what to do.

The other day it was my bday, I took her to a nice dinner to celebrate and she said “when you pout your lips like that (I have filler in my lips) you look like a prostitute trying to pick up a guy” I was speechless esp on a day of my bday in a fancy restaurant! I am almost cried and didn’t speak to her at all… to add she is Eastern European and has no filter … that was just too awful … I can’t seem to move on … thoughts? Opinions?