Hi all,

With the current employment crisis, I have still as of yet been unable to secure a stable source of income after graduating from university over 3 months ago. This obviously has impeded my original plan of maintaining a job for a while after graduation and then moving into my own place after having saved up enough and possessed stable income for long enough, which is when I would finally be able to start HRT.

I’m becoming increasingly concerned about having to delay starting HRT, as I would really like to ensure it has the best chance of making changes to bone structure and such (which I understand becomes less likely after 25, I’m 21 right now for context) and also just in general I’m tired of waiting to start making positive changes to my body. My parents are transphobic and is only one of many reasons I do not want to live with them anymore. So if I were to get on HRT while I still live with them, I’d have to be very secretive about it.

This creates two issues:

1. How would I hide my HRT from my parents? My mum often puts my laundry away in my room when I’m not home, so she opens my drawers and stuff to put things away. Sure I have other drawers where I keep other things but if she accidentally opens the wrong one, she’s going to see it, and there’s absolutely no way I could give any other explanation. I’m wondering if anyone has any super-secret compartment ideas.
2. How would I hide the effects of the HRT until I’m not living there anymore? I imagine it would become more obvious after a while that my body and face shape is changing, and also that I’m experiencing breast growth. I want these changes so badly but I don’t know how I’d hide them from other people. The breast growth concerns me the most because using my mum as a gauge, I think I might end up with quite a big cup size.

Would anyone recommend me taking HRT right now given these issues? Or is there a good way I could avoid both?

I already struggled with hospitals due to previous NHS discrimination I've experienced over the years , including in A&E.

If I was to need a hospital, I'd avoid it now given new rules in the NHS (though they were killing us for the sake of cis people's hurt widdle feelings last year, as that poor woman died waiting 16 days on a fucking bed).

DNR orders already exist.

Is there a card or something I can carry on my person that would forbid me from being taken to hospital outright, say if I were to become incapacitated?

I'd rather die at this point.

The last 3 days have had an effect on me the likes of which I've never experienced before. I've been through so many negative emotions, depression, sadness, grief, hopelessness, melancholy, anger, fury and rage.

I realised I was trans when I was 16. It was something that changed my entire view on everything, my entire understanding of myself. I told my parents, they laughed at me, they hit me, they forced me to supress it... for 24 f**king years. I lived in a transphobic, homophobic, exceedingly conservative household. The men were the bread winners, the women stayed home to look after the kids and cook and iron and clean, my dad is the typical racist that tries to say he isn't racist in one sentence, then immediately says some of the most vile racist shit I've heard. I tried to take my own life multiple times, my parents just hit me again and told me to 'stop being stupid'. I gave up being suicidal, and instead decided that rather than let things drive me to end it, I would instead let it fuel the anger I held inside, anger from so many years of mistreatment.

I was bullied at school constantly, I was treated as a lesser person in every job I've ever had, I've never experienced being loved or valued.

At the age of 40, I finally managed to hold a job long enough to save money and move in to own place. My partner moved in with me, and I immediately sought HRT through PrideInHealth. Things went well, I was ecstatic when I finally had the medication in my hand and could take it. I changed my name, I bought clothes, I got my own blahaj and named him Snowey. I became who I had long waited to become, for a moment, there was hope. Even on nights when I sat crying for hours, trying to deal with the trauma I had lived through to get to where I was, I still held that hope. Even when my blatantly transphobic workplace found a pathetic excuse to get rid of me through redundancy, I still clung on to hope.

And in the course of this single year since moving in to my own home, trying to be the person I was always meant to be, I see all of my rights being stripped away from me by these fascist, vile, disgusting, horrid, self-entitled worms that call themselves a 'left wing' government. Everything I worked towards, everything I dreamed for, all taken away by some vile excuses for human beings that think that attacking vulnerable minorities is some kind of game.

I've seen the protest, I've seen the pride events, I've seen the lobbying, and I've seen that they have all fallen not just on deaf ears, but ears of people who decide that they're going to make things even worse every time we speak up.

So I ask this, peaceful protest isn't working, so what recourse do we have left? What can we do to combat this?

As we are currently seeing in American politics, they have a system in place for countering a corrupt government. It's not a great system, but it looks as if it's working.

What do we have? Is there anything in UK law that can stop a government from stripping people's human rights away? I refuse to believe that our only recourse is 'grin and bare it, and hope the next people to get in are better'.

I refuse to let the last 24 years of suffering and malice and self-hatred and struggling to just make it from one day to the next be all for nothing. If this is a democracy, there HAS to be a system to fight back against a corrupt and fascist government.

(Transfemme from Hampshire)

In the process of moving GPs, my new GP has somehow not been able to access my medical records - they tell me its probably because I'm transgender and "was probably given a new NHS number when I got my GRC" (I don't have a GRC, nor have I ever applied for a new NHS number).

They've told me to be patient, "it can sometimes take 8 weeks to get this sort of issue fixed".
I'm 8 weeks overdue my antiandrogen and, despite stocking up before I moved house, almost completely out of my estradiol patches.

Now, at the 11th hour they've told me they need to set up a new shared care agreement before they can prescribe me anything, I've manually sent them copies of all the communications between my previous GP and the GIC, but its not enough. (Clearly, proof of 6 years of improved mental state from being on HRT isn't enough)

I've tried to call 111 and get an emergency prescription, but because my previous GP set my prescriptions up wrong (decapeptyl as an acute prescription, estradiol as some specific brand that hasn’t been in stock in any pharmacy for years), I've not been able to access my HRT that way either.

Every time I call someone its a different call centre's faceless customer assistant, every email takes 2 weeks for them to reply.

I'm Sick of being patient. Do I stage some kind of sit-in until I'm seen? go down to the local A&E? just fucking give up with the NHS and go back to DIYing again, despite it being more than twice the cost?

I'm starting to notice the effects of having testosterone again and its been making me wanna curl up in a ball and cry. This, plus the recent transphobic news has had me feeling like I'm in active crisis for the past 3 days, and when I've sought help for that, the best they can offer me is an appointment in a month's time.

I suppose its my own fault: I'd forgotten a Doctor's job isnt to help people - they get paid to help people but their job is to avoid getting sued in the cheapest way possible

So today my partner took me out to Costa by us and it was quite busy this year as my outfit.

We sat in our little corner and there was one male sitting on their own working on his laptop and as soon as I sat down he got up and moved and gave me a dirty look.

So I mouthed back (as he moved to the far side of the coffee shop) do I smell or something and gave him a look back.

He then carries on staring at me for the next few mins I was going to have a word with the staff if he didn't stop but I thought in the end the trash has taken himself away, and I sprayed some Impulse to get rid of his smell 🤣🤣🤣

Really do hate people like that. Like FFS I'm just here to enjoy a coffee and I know the staff would have had my back as we have been going there for years and we know we are safe

EDIT: please excuse the mess in the first picture! 🤣

I don’t want to be trans anymore. I’m waking up every day and I just want my country to burn in hell. I want to never be trans, I just want to be left alone. I wake up every day and wonder what the point of it is, because I’m just getting more and more depressed and angry. From the politicians to the media to the rich elites who tread on us, and treat the trans community with so much contempt and hatred. And it’s never going to end until we’re dead. And at this point, I’m inclined to let them win. Because they already have. No matter who wins the next election, the fascists are already in power. I can’t even leave or change anything. What good does voting do when our choices are fascist, fascist, fascist, fascist or minor parties who defend us and will never amount to anything. I don’t want to get sick and have to go to hospital, and I’m not even outwardly trans (and at this point is there even any point in trying?). I’m most likely going to be so depressed by the time I get seen by the NHS that it will be a miracle if I’m alive in a decade’s time.
And the fucking public. I hold them in so much contempt. They don’t care about us and they never will. They’ll vote Reform, Labour, Tories and nothing will change for us. Nothing will change in this country. Things will continue being more expensive, and we’ll just keep on suffering. Honestly I wish something would strike me down as it would be easier than constantly living in this nightmare. What’s the point in being trans in this cruel world that seeks new ways to kill me and deprive me of my life and happiness?
What’s worse is can’t dull my pain. I don’t drink, don’t do drugs or do anything that, even for the briefest moment, might just make me feel anything other than crushing depression. I feel like an outcast living alone and not belonging to a community.
I’m tired of my life. I wish I had done more when I had the chance, when I had friends, when I had people around me. Now, I know I’m going to be alone but maybe I was always heading here. I wish I could cut myself off from the world and isolate myself from it all. Maybe I should try it.

Having to be on a waitlist for estrogen aswell as voicetraining to sound more feminine

I need some help, i am a trans woman living in the UK and plan to take estrgen ASAP and it has been brought to my attention that there is a waitlist for estrogen that I need to be on once i am diagnosed, I heard it takes years and well i did have plans to take estrogen soon as possible so are there any other ways to get estrogen or to DIY? or anything related to such, please let me know it would be greatly appreciated

And for the voice training, could anyone recomend me any good voice training channels, links ir anything realtee to such to train my voice to sound more feminine or exactly like a woman? It is pretty deep, so I would love to get any advice possible

And if u have any other advice to give for my male to female transition journey, please feel free to share

hi, so idk if this is related but i wanted to see if anyone else had experienced similar. i’m like 16 months on t ( started june last yr ). since around 5/6 months on t i started getting random tics. these include motor and vocal. it affects my head, arms, legs and also my mouth with noises and random words and phrases that are not in reference to convos. this has always been here i suspect, but i had always put it down to muscle twitches/spasms and “ not having a filter “ ( i was told this ), but since i noticed the urge before ( zaps and pressure ) i realized it is smth more. i do not have a diagnosis for anything, idek if i need one, i’m mainly wanting to know if t is smth that can enhance ( for lack of a better word ) these already existing tics and if anyone else has experienced this? mine seem to come and go. so sometimes it happens multiple days in a row and other times i wont have them for a few weeks which is why i haven’t sought diagnosis. it doesnt affect my life until it does when they come back. tia :)

It's been a long road

Getting from there to here

It's been a long time

But my time is finally near

And I can feel a change in the wind right now

Nothing's in my way

And they're not gonna hold me down no more

No, they're not gonna hold me down

'Cause I've got faith of the heart

I'm going where my heart will take me

I've got faith to believe

I can do anything

I've got strength of the soul

And no one's gonna bend or break me

I can reach any star

I've got faith

I've got faith

Faith of the heart

I can't be the only one who is pissed off at outfits like Pink News posting stories about trans people as engagement bait on social media and then refusing to moderate the comments under their posts, which then become a free-for-all for every bot, TERF and manosphere dickhead. I wonder how much engagement revenue they are getting from this?

I think we should be calling them out for this behaviour. The Good Law Project are terrible for this too, although they are better than Pink News because they do consistently go to court to fight for us. I just wish they would actually moderate the comments, though. It's actually quite distressing for me to see all the hate speech go unchallenged.

One of the comments that repeatedly gets posted by the trolls is "It's the LAW" and that we shouldn't challenge it, like court decisions that they like are written on stone to stand in perpetuity. By their own 'logic', the FWS mob should have just given up when they lost in courts repeatedly because, you know, it was THE LAW. It reminds me of the same 'logic' when the Eurosceptics had been pushing for years and years to get the UK out of the EU, undeterred by all the votes they lost, and then when they finally got a result they liked, by a 52/48 split, suddenly it was a decision that must stand for all time.

But anyway, I do think the likes of Pink News should actually moderate comments under their posts instead of posting for engagement and then abandoning the post. That isn't helping us, it's doing the opposite.

I am about to start DIY t at university and I have 2 questions

1. When I order T, should I order it to a post locker or have it sent to my uni reception? I don’t want the uni somehow finding about the T during reception (even though I know it’s highly unlikely). Also would ordering needles raise a concern?

2. How should I go about hiding T when room checks happen?

Hi, I'm 15 MtF living in the south-east and need some advice. The new school guidance on gender stuff is making my life miserable in school as I have really transphobic parents and now I just don't know what to do. I don't have any friends or know how to make any trans friends round here so I'm very lonely with absolutely nothing I can do to help myself. I'm wondering if anyone is / has been in a similar situation to me and has advice for what I can do to make my life at least bearable. <3

Val McDermid: I think the persecution of trans women has been appalling. Trans does not damage lesbianism. Womanhood is a big tent; it goes all the way from Kim Kardashian to me and everything in between. First, we bring people in, then we sort out the problems.

https://archive.is/x34fC

There is a reason I cancelled my direct debit. Treat my "gender questioning" child as subhuman. Lose my licence fee. I like the way it says I'll be breaking tbe law and threatens me with prosecution without qualifying it.

This week as you're all well aware by now the NHS released new guidance restricting trans folks' access to appropriate wards when we stay in hospital.

I have a blog, RollingForInitiative, where I write about being a trans girl with Multiple Sclerosis. I write weekly about the wild stories at this strange little intersection of disability and gender diversity. The blog has over 100 posts and if you're one of my readers already, my 'ride or dies', then I appreciate you!

This week I wrote about this NHS guidance and I wanted to share it with you not for self-promotion... ok not just for self-promotion... but because I think we get through this together. Having MS means I use hospitals, and so being banned from certain wards is likely to have a direct impact on my experience fairly soon. So I wrote some stuff:

"And this is what these policymakers don’t seem to understand. We are. We live. We have always been here and we will always be here. You can segregate us, push us to the shadows, make us afraid to go to the doctor, tell us we aren’t who we know ourselves to be, but if you think you are the first people to do that you are pretty sorely mistaken. We transitioned to a chorus of ‘reasonable concerns'." 

I love you all and remember, even in the most difficult moments, you are not alone.

https://www.rollingforinitiative.com/blog/trans-emancipation-and-hospital-wards

How can we hold these pieces of shit to account? Can we report her to a standards committee or something?

https://www.engadget.com/2288294/the-uk-may-expand-the-bbc-license-fee-charging-residents-to-watch-streaming-services/

Now wanna charge for using youtube?

What.

I already pay for Internet subscription, and you don't even own any of those companies. Netflix, Youtube etc.

What is next charge me for my reception in tin foil hat?

":The additional funding from expanding the license fee would reportedly be put toward supporting local journalism and combatting misinformation campaign""

Translates to; we wanna bitch how evil transgenders took a shit in a toilet and how Ahmed took your job, but we need to steal from peasants cause we suck off our obligarh daddies cause they don't wanna fund.

I know it will likely make matters worse but I hate having these guidelines jump out at me without warning.

My long-term nonbinary partner and I are considering getting married for financial reasons, but we're not sure if there's a way to do it that's relatively dignified for them.

If you've gotten married (or entered a civil partnership), please could you tell us:

1. Were there any parts of the process that required "disclosing" your legal sex?
2. Is your legal sex on any resulting documentation? Like a marriage certificate etc.
3. Was your legal sex made public, or put on public record, as part of getting married?

i was diagnosed with gender dysphoria and put on the waiting list for a child gender clinic in 2017, when i was 12 (or 11, id have to check the date) im now 21 and got transferred onto the adult waiting list when i was 17. they said i was referred in 2021 despite being shown proof otherwise

when they put me on the list they put me on the list for exeter if i remember rightly, but i DO remember seeing it has a 99+ month waiting list. i barely need testosterone because im intersex but i cant afford 10 fucking grand for top surgery. it would take me probably as many years to save. what do you guys even do atp?? im severely disabled and on benefits so ive just accepted my fate

i have a lot of trouble managing my feelings when people (usually not from the uk for obvious reasons) come out and within a few months have started T and had top surgery. its incredible for them but over the years ive turned into a resentful little bitch about it. i was much worse + angrier as a teenager but now i just feel depressed about it. theres a lot of other reasons that make it worse but i dont want to ramble too much

Having read that some people have had success with changing their details with Lloyds Bank with just an unenrolled deed poll, I tried going into my local branch and changing it. They were really nice but told me that they cannot accept it unless I change my passport or driver's license first, which is tricky because I need evidence of the new name being in use to update my passport in the first place (and I don't drive, so don't have a license). I'm not angry or annoyed at them, it costs £5 to get a statutory declaration which they do accept so it looks like I'll just go to a solicitor next week and get that done.

I also went to Nationwide and they did everything for me with just an unenrolled deed poll and my old passport, which was a really pleasant experience.

(TLDR: I need help finding an actual PROVEN trans-friendly GP in the Wigan area that accepts patients living in the WN1 area. If you or anyone you know is local to the Wigan borough and you’re happy to recommend a specific practice, please comment or DM me the name. I’ve had too many experiences of transphobia and lack of care related to my trans health to risk applying to a GP blindly. I’d prefer a recommendation from local trans people that can point me in the right direction. Especially looking for a GP that has a good track record for handling HRT Shared Care Agreements well. Any help would be amazing, thank you!!!)

This might be a long shot, because I only know a few trans people who live in Wigan, and unfortunately the GPs they recommend to me don’t accept patients outside their postcode catchment area (even though one of them said they do, and still rejected me because of my address.)

I don’t wanna risk joining a random GP in my area and experience the same discrimination and total neglect of my care when I lived in Bryn. The websites that track reviews of GPs from trans people aren’t helpful because all of my area is unrated. And neither is if a GP describes itself as “LGBT Friendly”, because my old one did, and they regularly misgendered me and made it nearly impossible to access my T. It was a nightmare. So called “LGBT friendly practice” would regularly change my legal name back to my birth name, or combine the two, which proved to me they manually and deliberately changed it despite them claiming it was a system error or mistake (Which ever the receptionist decided it was.) I would beg them for months to fix it as it was so incredibly incorrect and inappropriate, and had to constantly show them my deed poll, ID and passport with the correct details. They finally would, only for it to quietly change to something new again a few months later. Along with my title being changed from Mr to Ms, or sometimes even Mx. Just the most egregious display of disrespect that I never wish to experience again. They couldn’t even hide behind the excuse of them being new to the changes because I transitioned socially when I was 10 years old, legally changed my documents at 12, and these issues persisted until I was 19 years old.

I’m nearly 23 now and been on testosterone for 8 years, I am done dealing with my care not being taken seriously and constantly having my shots delayed because of incompetence. I thought I would have an easier time when I lived in Manchester for a few years, but even my new GP there would deny my prescription orders sometimes with no valid reason, even when my blood tests would always come back normal. Or they’d change my 8 year long repeat status to temporary, despite them taking on the SCA and my endocrinologist having to get involved to fix it. I also got essentially interrogated by a pharmacy I went to for the first time in Wigan, a staff member said I “shouldn’t be on that high of a dose”, among other strange accusatory questions, and asked me for ID before I could pay. I’m sick of it. Wigan is my home, but I don’t feel safe and respected here because I happen to be a trans man.

Please, if anyone who lives in Wigan or the surrounding area knows or is with a GP that actually respects your trans identity and doesn’t fuck about with your HRT, please tell me the name of the practice in the comments or DM me, I’d greatly appreciate it. I live in the WN1 area. Apologies for the long rambling post, I ended up venting a bit while asking for advice. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read all of it x