r/traumatoolbox • u/Anjnonymous • 17h ago

Trigger Warning I was hoping I'd feel relieved, but I feel physically sick

I ended up having a heated discussion with a relative (she's my step-grandmother), whom was dismissive of me, hung up the phone on me and in retaliation, I told her via text message that her Son was a p* and a r*ist. Said person did unalive themselves years ago, and everyone has pussy-footed around his mother and the topic, but I let her have it. I actually don't care if she believes me or not. I know it is true.

I had been toying with telling her for some time, and I certainly didn't expect it to come out the way it did. I had discussed what had happened in the past with my mother - and she did say that I wouldn't be believed. But I snapped - and I said it. And I was hoping to feel better for finally letting her know, but I feel absolutely terrible. The intrusive memories, and the trauma are peaking all over again.

I have no intentions of apologizing for it either. I'm so over the dismissive behaviour and her feeling like everyone is a threat. I won't be the least bit suprized if she tries to remove me from my grandfathers Estate - and I welcome for her lawyers to contact me and I get to explain what happened.

Any advice on how to feel better about this?

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