My mom is used to be pretty concerned about marriage and dating for me - she wasn’t trying to sell me off to the highest bidder or anything but she definitely wanted to make me a biodata and was always pushing me to meet people. She was never forceful or domineering but there was always still a bit of pressure - find a nice Indian boy, Hindu, well educated.

Well. My last two ex boyfriends were nice Indian American Hindu boys, PhD students. One of them told me that he would never have sex with me and only wanted a child via IVF, and also refused to take any public or private transport and would walk literal hours to get to his destination. The other one told me that he was only romantically attracted to instagram models with super feminine aesthetics, asked me for a two week break and hit up his ex during that time, went into gratuitous detail about the free use sexual relationship he had with his ex gf, and broke up with me over the phone while I was visiting extended family in India.

Now my mom says, find A Nice Person. If they’re Indian and Hindu great, if not also great. I think she’s more traumatized than me and is fully over the idea that the only compatible man for me has to be another Indian Hindu American 😭 she’s also been very chill about me not wanting to date for the past few months.

Anyways, fellow ABCDers, have hope. After a few terrible boyfriends/girlfriends your parents’ brains will also melt and then you can do what you want.

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My parents are super trad and old world and they keep trying to find me an arranged marriage after forcing my older brother AND sister into arranged marriages. Like my dad literally screams at me every time i call him and my mom keeps playing the guilt trip card and both have told me if I dont marry whatever fob they find They'll cut me off.

Now my brother's literally fell apart cuz his wife was finally able to move to the US (visa issues) after getting a GC or something for her and she doesn't want to leave because she's been having an affair with one of their neighbors lmfao

My sister's marriage is also in the toilet (he's not pulljng his weight in anything and has apparently been drinking/smoking and wont stop) and my shitty ass parents are begging her to not divorce and to convince her husband to stop (bro wtf lol)

Now they're like questioning if they want to force me into an arranged marriage cuz they've struck out 2 for 3 so far.

Yall I cant even lie, im sorry for my siblings but im ecstatic that this might mean I won't be forced to marry whatever FOB my dad and uncle manage to foist onto me. They'll probably still try to find someone who's in the US but I think i can finesse my way out of that. Idc I know im being cold hearted and I feel bad for my bro and sis but im so happy ny parents are literally eating shit rn lol. The best leopards eating someone's face ever

I know some of you guys will probably think Love Island is degenerate and yh it kind of is but I just love seeing Desis being represented as hot and attractive on mainstream TV for once!

We have Samraj who is quite liked by the public, Jasmine who is a straight up baddie and Priya who just recently came in as a bombshell.

Mogged

i know that raksha bandhan is in like 28 days but i felt like making a post about it now haha .

as a sister i am getting kind of impatient tbh LOL . i have one younger brother and i usually celebrate it with him , i basically grew up celebrating this holiday with him and my uncle and other male family friends , so we always had to go out and get rakhis and the preparation had to start a few days before the event itself .

usually i get a few hundred dollars and random stuff whatever my brother feels like giving me that year . he is younger than me so he gets pissed off because he usually wants something too , he thinks the event is kind of unfair lol , when he’s older maybe he’ll realize it’s not unequal .

i’m wondering do you guys celebrate this , if you have a brother or sister ?

Kinda like the title says. I see on this sub all the time stories of anti-Indian, anti-brown, anti-Hindu, anti-Muslim, etc. hatred. It's a huge issue, absolutely, and I'd be lying if I said all the online racism didn't affect me from time to time and make me feel a little uncomfortable living in a country I've spent my whole life in. And that's the least of it. Some of these stories of anti-Desi hate are absolutely abhorrent, and I'm not trying to minimize any of the harm that racist ideologies propagate.

In the past few years, I've been doing research into South Asia, history, culture, etc. to learn more about my culture. Consistently I am fascinated by the depth and richness there. So, in spite of all this racism and negativity, what is something that makes you proud of your heritage?

For me, it's the music. There are so many different forms and especially the sound of the tabla, especially in classical music, always makes my heart happy. Even the new Bollywood music that everyone trashes on, I think it's interesting to see the way Indian and Western musical styles fuse, and there are certain movies I've watched solely because I liked the songs in them.

Mamdani Wins N.Y.C. Mayor’s Race After Highest Turnout in Decades

Zohran Mamdani, whose triumphant campaign was built on progressive ideas and a relentless focus on affordability, will become the city’s youngest mayor in more than a century.

Now that my LO is a little older, she’s more curious about things like Navratri. I knew the story from my childhood and remembered some small things-we celebrate Mataji and she beats evil, and some demon was maybe involved (I know, my memory really sucks post having a child). So I had to look into it more.

Wow, the story is pretty awesome! Basically, when all the male gods of the world couldn’t beat a powerful demon, a woman had to go. And the story is kind of awesome-her reincarnations, her ability to be a multi-faceted woman in all her reincarnations, like a daughter, a wife, a mother, and finally a woman who comes to clean up the mess when no man could. So empowering, and so glad to give her positive stories of women in our culture, when right now it’s seems very mysogynistic.

I’m kind of excited to tell this to my LO, and I would love some resources-she really loves books with lots of colors. Any suggestions for books available in the US?

Tia!!

Nithya did an amazing job at the debate in the past. She will now run against the corrupt incumbentKaren Bass who has very vulgar Freudian slips when she’s stressed out on policy.

In that debate, I thought that it was very unfortunate and in bad taste that Spencer Pratt said something awful about what may happen to Nithya if she were to go to a certain part of town.

I wish you great success future mayor of LA Nithya Raman!!!!

For those not in the loop, he appeared on Jimmy Fallon and performed Morni and the majority of the comments have actually been positive. I saw a lot around how good the performance was, how they’re adding his songs to their gym playlists, how handsome he is, how they want to see him at the Super Bowl, how they want to attend his concert because he’s coming to their city etc.

It’s a nice break from all the hatred we usually get online

I am of that age where most of my friends and cousins are getting hitched.

Many (not all) Indian weddings are casually crossing 400 to 500k on a 3-5 days extravaganza. Not including cost incured by guests. Destination weddings are becoming way more frequent too.

On the other hand, my non-Indian friends' weddings are intimate half or one day events with 40 to 50 guests.

Are we over doing it?

ETA: THANK YOU desi friends, for all the supportive comments and helpful suggestions! I felt so much better reading your responses that I'm not the only one struggling with this. For now, I will take pride in our last minute modak and slapdash shloka a week late 😄 Whatever you celebrate this season, I hope it gives you a chance to slow down and do something kind for yourself, too!

Busy mom here, technically raised Hindu although not religious and grew up with minimal celebration of the festivals.

For the umpteenth time, I have once again missed the boat on Ganapati. (I'm Marathi so this is a biggie). My kid is very curious about her heritage which I love to see but this time of year is so busy that it feels impossible to carve out the time between work, school, extracurriculars, regular housework, and all the rest. Currently I have penciled it in for this Sunday 🤦🏽‍♀️

How do y'all manage? I already know I'm a bad Hindu but it's way worse to feel like a bad mom.

Special appearance from the legend, Mira Nair, as well

Tennis. There are so many elite Indian American junior tennis players now, male and female. Every year, about 12-20 of the top 100 tennis prospects in the US are Indian, and many go on to play D1-D3 college tennis. Now, some are starting to go pro and seem to have quite bright futures. I haven’t seen this talked about on here and wanted to bring it up. We should celebrate wins/progress like this!

When Nishesh Basavareddy, the 20 year old Indian American pro takes the court against Karen Khachanov at the US Open this Sunday, I can’t wait to see the support he gets from the South Asian community. And if he somehow pulls off the upset (within the realm of possibility), I can only imagine how much it’s going to inspire younger generations.

PS. We’re making some great headway in golf as well-crushing it!

Thoughts on this? Hype? Tacky? Both?

Stalwarts from the East, A French lady pins a flower on the Sikh saviours of France, Paris, 1916. (Source: Toor Collection)