Making this post here because the mods on the other subreddit are fucking weird and restricted my access because I had the audacity to ask them a question. Anyway. I dated this guy for a couple months. He was incredibly disrespectful of boundaries and wouldn’t ever take no for an answer. We just weren’t a good fit overall. He accepted it at first but the past week ish he’s been up my ass. Last night he showed up at my house and I had to cancel plans because he wouldn’t leave and I’m scared of him. I don’t necessarily think he would hurt me but some part of me wonders if he saw me outside and approached me and I ignored him… idk. He carries a gun on him at all times. My friends say I’m overreacting and he just has a hard time letting go but I feel nervous and I’m looking over my shoulder all the time. Aio???

I’m 28, and my sister, Mia, is 25. She has a 2-year-old daughter, Ava.

Last Saturday night, around 11 p.m., Mia called me, clearly drunk. She said she couldn’t drive and asked me to check on Ava. I thought someone else was probably with her, but when I got to her apartment, nobody answered the door. I ended up using the spare key she’d given me. Honestly i wasn’t prepared for what I walked into. Ava was alone in her house, crying, with a soaked diaper and an empty bottle nearby. The apartment was cold, and there was no sign of Mia anywhere I tried calling her several times, but she didn’t answer. Eventually, I checked our location-sharing app and saw that she was at a bar across town. She was at a bar across town! She’d left Ava alone all afternoon, thinking she’d be back in a few hours.

I was shocked. I could barely process the fact that she would leave her 2-year-old daughter for that long. I called the police and CPS because I didn’t know what else to do, and I wasn’t about to take a chance with Ava’s safety, They took Ava into temporary protective custody, and Mia is now facing child endangerment charges.

Since then, my family has made me feel like I’m the one who did something wrong. My parents keep saying I should’ve called them first so we could’ve handled the situation within the family. My brother even accused me of being jealous because Mia has a child and I don’t, Mia is telling everyone that I purposely ruined her life and took her daughter away from her She barely acknowledges what happened that night and seems more upset about the consequences than the fact that Ava was left all alone.

I understand that losing custody of your child, even temporarily, must be heartbreaking. I’m not pretending this hasn’t turned Mia’s life upside down. But I can’t understand how everyone is more concerned about what happened to her than what could’ve happened to Ava What if Ava had gotten out of the house choked on something, or needed medical attention? She’s two. She couldn’t call anyone for help or understand why her mother wasn’t there.
Since that night, I’ve stopped speaking to Mia and have pulled away from the rest of my family because I’m exhausted from being blamed for making the call. Every conversation turns into how I should’ve handled things differently, as if the biggest mistake that night was involving the authorities Part of me wonders whether I should’ve called my parents first, but another part of me feels like there was no time to organize a family discussion when a toddler was sitting alone in an apartment I didn’t report Mia because I wanted to punish her or take her daughter away. I did it because I genuinely believed Ava wasn’t safe.

So, AIO for reporting my sister to CPS and distancing myself from my family after they blamed me for what happened?

Is 11–12 months too late to ask bridesmaids, or is my friend being unreasonable?
My friend (29F) and I 29F have been close for years. Since getting engaged in December 2025, I always knew she’d be one of my bridesmaids. She also knew my wedding was planned for October 2027.

Originally, I planned to book my venue by July and ask my bridesmaids in August. Unfortunately, my mum experienced a severe psychiatric crisis involving hospitalization and suicidal ideation. At the same time, she was facing deportation from Canada.

The past three months have been incredibly difficult, emotionally and financially. I’ve spent over $10k in legal fees, and wedding planning understandably took a back seat.
Thankfully, my mum is doing better, and her deportation has been deferred for three months. We finally booked our venue last week, and I can finally start planning my wedding.

Recently, I shared a wedding reel in our friends’ group chat. My friend made a comment I didn’t appreciate, so I messaged her privately, and things escalated.
She expressed frustration about the lack of timelines and information, mentioning the costs of two dresses, makeup, hair, accommodation, and other expenses. She also said I wasn’t considering everyone’s financial situations, especially since she’s planning to return to school in 2027.

I completely understand her financial concerns. However, I haven’t officially asked anyone to be a bridesmaid yet, and the wedding is still about a year away.
What hurt me most was her approach. She knows everything I’ve been going through, and honestly, she barely checked on me throughout the situation.
I was actually planning to ask her to be my maid of honour, but now I’m reconsidering.
Am I being unreasonable for feeling hurt? Is 11–12 months genuinely too late to ask bridesmaids, or was she being unnecessarily opinionated?
I’m genuinely open to hearing both sides

EDIT: For more context on my friend, I chose a colour scheme before and she said it was a little tacky and maybe a different colour would be best. She complained about me wanting to get married in a town closer to my fiancé’s parents (his family is bigger than mine; I'm an immigrant here). So many times when I bring up a suggestion about my wedding, she tries to make me change it or always makes me doubt my choices.

She mentioned traveling and airbnb but we have no such plans. I plan on doing my bachelorette in the city I live in, I plan on paying for the hotels we all stay in on the eve of the wedding.

I truly don't expect my bridesmaids to break the bank for my wedding. I just would love to have the people I love by my side

Also I'm west African Nigerian and my fiance is Italian. It's a fusion and this is why we have 2 outfits.

I know this just seems like ‘oh he went to my elementary school so we should keep up with eachother’ hell no, for one, I never even knew this kid went to my elementary school because i promise you we have never once crossed paths AT ALL so there would be NO “times” to be talking about and why would I call you to look through the yearbook when I could do that on my own time by myself... I met him in my freshman year when he walked up to me and introduced himself, ever since then I think that gave him a signal to think that were friends or something. For a while he would just constantly say hi to me and I was just being nice about it but it started getting weird asf when I specifically changed my route so I wouldn’t pass him on my way to class and he started showing up in those places as well?? now i know full and well he has absolutely no classes on any other floor besides the 3rd so he has no reason to be waiting there and i would sound like an egotistical bitch if i mentioned what class he is specifically in all day. Once he was even waiting outside my classroom to say hi to me like wtf I’ve never given this dude my schedule ? and who even emails someone for their number?? He also emailed one of my friends to be “bestfriends” WHO EVEN DOES THAT. From the last email i sent he replied that he knew my last name because he remembers when my teacher took attendance in 5th grade, what the fuck that was 7 years ago. This made me pull up my 5th grade class photo to see if maybe im tripping, but he obviously was not in it so idk what tf is going on. I genuinely wonder if hes been watching from afar all these years and I never knew.

Last night I was at the bar with my best friend and ran into a guy who I thought was my friend, M. I play pool like 3x/week and I frequent the same dives. There’s a place I’ve been going to for more than a year, usually on Tuesdays and I almost always see M there. It’s a doubles table so more often than not he ends up being my partner. I’ve never made any moves on him, he’s never made any on me we’re just cool. I’m pretty decent to the point where I’ve started playing in tournaments.

The bar was about 20 min from close and I asked if I could get on the table. M said he already had a partner so I asked if I could next. He told me sure. Then the people who actually were next in line showed up and I could tell they weren’t going to play a quick game. So I went up to Ms partner and asked him if I could get one game in before the night ended. He left the choice to M who just stood there. I would have been fine taking a no. I wasn’t trying to convince him or anything just straight up asking.

The guy turned to me and said “idk are you gonna go home with him after?” I was like it’s not like that we’re friends. He’s like “then no”. And goes and takes his shot. M laughed. I kinda just looked at him pretty shook.

I said “your friend just said I can only play if I fuck you and you think that’s funny?” And he said ah it was just a joke. Right then the guy comes up again and is like “last chance to go home with him if you wanna play” and I just looked at M and said “we’re not friends anymore”. And then I walked away.

Am I overreacting? I know he’s not the one who said it but to just sit there and play along with his bro was crazy. That comment was disgusting. I don’t think I want to be friends with anyone who wouldn’t stand up for me the way I would stand up for them.

Iv told my bf that dark meat and drumsticks are my favourite many times. We made a turkey and I said the turkey drumsticks have anyways been my favourite. The next day I get home from work excited to have some. It’s all gone he ate both drumsticks. He stated he didn’t remember, that he never heard me, and that he didn’t know drumsticks were dark meat, that he’s doing me a favour cuz he didn’t know it was my favourite.
I was fuming I was so angry I had to leave the kitchen and I lost all my appetite. I’m the kind of person that needs to leave and cool down for 30 minutes and think about what I need to say. Sooo when I do calm some and know what I need to say I first ask him to apologize again and I’m still upset. He blurts out before I get the chance to say anything else “maybe we should break up than so I’ll never disappoint you ever again” I was stunned to say the least. I said so we’re going to breakup over turkey? He said if your going to react this way when I disappoint you than ya, he continued to say it’s just turkey we can buy more later. I then proceeded to say it’s not about the turkey, it’s the fact that I feel unheard, uncared for, it feels like you don’t listen to me. He said well I don’t remember you telling me so maybe you forgot to tell me. He than proceeded to say I actually brought breaking up because it seemed like you wanted to because of how your acting. I said no I’d never breakup with you over something like this, but I am allowed to be disappointed. It feels like I’m not allowed to express myself when I’m upset. Anyways…

So Reddit am AIO after I told my bf that dark meat and drumsticks are my favourite?

She just says “I cry a lot” but it makes our conversations feel so uneven.

I am 30M, she is 30F. Together 8 months.

Like this week. She had to go to urgent care 3 days in a row for migraines. I drove across town to her house every morning (she wanted to sleep on her own at night). Put off work. Skipped meetings. Made us meals. Got food. I was happy to do it all. I feel like I went out of my way to make sure she didn’t feel like a burden.

At the end of the third night when the migraines had finally passed, she said “thank you so much for taking care of me. I’ve never felt so loved by someone.”

A few days later (today) we have plans to make breakfast, go to a local market, maybe a movie. She asked if we needed any groceries for breakfast. I jokingly said “maybe arugula, I’m not sure if what’s in the fridge is bad because I was at someone’s house all week.”

She laughed and said “heyyy” and we laid in bed for a few minutes longer. Then she said she wanted go home and have the day to herself. Said she wanted to “give me back the time she had taken from me this week.”

I said “you don’t have to give me back any time, I want to be spending the day with you.”

She said “I just feel like you’ve made comments that make me feel like a burden. I’m sorry that you had to take care of me I just want you to have the time back.”

I said “there’s no time to take back, you aren’t burdening me at all I wanted to be there for you. I’m sorry if my joke came off as serious, but I want to be spending the day with you.”

She started crying. This happens every time we have a discussion. I’ll explain my point of view with an even tone, and she’ll start crying, often hysterically. It leaves no room for me to explain how I feel in response to her. In this case I was trying to reassure her she wasn’t a burden, didn’t have to go home, we could still have the lovely day together we’d planned.

But when she starts crying, she shuts down. Has often told me “your point of view doesn’t matter right now, I need to feel what I’m feeling and for you to hear me we can talk later.” Which I understand to an extent, but still feels completely uneven. We can’t have what should be a simple exchange of “I’m sorry” and “thank you” and move on with our day. It always turns into tears and a cancellation of plans.

TLDR; What can I do here? How can I bring this up to my partner, that I don’t feel like I can be heard because she cries so often, without seeming like an asshole? AIO for thinking she should offer space for conversation in these moments?

I will delete this thread myself after I get it off my chest, I just want to understand my husband mindset.

My father whom when alive was a Shanghai businessman own alot of properties in Shanghai. When my parents passed, I was leave with 15 millions in inheritance. My brother also got 15 millions in inheritance. Equal.

I am married 15 years long, together 17 years. My husband is my next of kin because we have no kids. By laws if I die before him, my inheritance will go to my husband.

15 millions dollars is a life changing amount, my husband can live the rest of his life with me not have to worry about money. BUT nope, he chose the harder route.

My husband force me to put my brother name as the only beneficiary name on my Trusts (which contain my inheritance), so if I die first, my whole inheritance will go straight to my brother as my brothers is the ONLY beneficiary name. My husband not want a penny of it.

He said why he did that, it because he wants to keep my inheritance intact for me, if anything happen to him I have my inheritance to take care of for the rest of my life.

I can do whatever I want with my inheritance, he just not want to be a part of it, he not want a penny of it.

He chose to work, and work till his retirement age.

And there no amount of anything I can say or do to change my husband mind. And if I don't in front of a lawyer put my brother as the SOLELY beneficiary on my Trusts, there will be bickering.

And it not just the Trusts, but also on the Will, in the Will also stated that my brother will get all the inheritance after my death. BOTH Will and Trusts has my brother as the person who will get my inheritance after I die.

My husband want it that way, both on Trusts and Will. My husband name not on anything of my inheritance, he refused a penny of it.

My Chinese lawyers said my husband is protecting my inheritance and I am not loosing out on anything, so just do it so I have peace in my marriage. And I did it (leave the inheritance for my brother), so my husband can be happy, and settle this once and for all.

I guess I'm just trying to understand his mindset. My husband is not Chinese. I am the Chinese one in this marriage.

I own one really nice suit. Navy, about $600 with the tailoring, and I wear it for interviews and weddings. In August my buddy Tyler had a big interview and asked to borrow it. We're the same size, so I said sure, just bring it back clean.

The interview went well, which I was happy about. Then he kept the suit another three weeks. When I finally got it back, there was a dark stain on one sleeve and the pant hems had been let out about an inch.

Turns out his older brother wore it to a wedding in Ohio. Tyler said he "figured I wouldn't mind" since his brother needed something last minute. His brother is taller than both of us, hence the hems.

I wasn't upset about the interview at all. I asked Tyler if he could cover getting it cleaned and re-hemmed, which my tailor quoted at $85. I told him he could pay me back in a couple of weeks, no rush.

He said that's "a lot to ask for a favor" and that I'm treating his family like strangers. He also said I should have told him upfront it was only for him.

Was I wrong to assume "can I borrow your suit" meant him? I didn't think that needed spelling out.

tl;dr: I lent my friend my tailored suit for his interview. He passed it to his taller brother for a wedding, it came back stained with the hems let out, and he thinks $85 is too much to ask.

I need to add a big but into this (no not my own, hahaha.. sorry);

we both work full time. And full time for us right now is 14 hour days starting on Wednesday with Monday and Tuesday being the only 8 hour day(s) we work. *AND* we work a 14 hour shift Saturday, so our only real day off is Sunday. These hours actually should **Increase** to 14 hours, *6* days a week, starting within a couple weeks.

With our only day off being Sunday, I try my best to recover, recuperate, rejuvenate (all the 'R' words), but he is making plans to do this and this, wake up at this time to get this and this done.

I will be completely blunt; I don't know how he has the energy or willpower to complete the things he does or even plan the things to do.

My mood is dim by the end of the week, I am irritable, and I just want to relax. But he almost makes me feel guilty for even expressing that.

**"Gotta make hay while the sun shines"**

**"I'm tired too, but I know these things have to get done."**

These are the things he tells me when I express a desire to take it easy on Sunday. Or even throughout the week. While he will wake up early to cut grass, or do something in the garden, and honestly there are days I struggle to keep my eyes open, or my head feels like it's going to crack open either from lack of sleep or stress from knowing I have to almost hide it from him.

What he does is nothing short of commendable, but I don't know how to communicate to him that, although it may be possible to do all the things he wants to do with him, it is destroying my physical and mental health (or would more so I should say).

I don't feel like I'm being out of the ordinary by saying, I want to rest, after working a 72 hour work week. And I don't know how to tell him that I can't match him, he's just better than me with doing things without a lot of sleep. Call me lazy or young or whatever else. Albeit, I do make sure we have home cooked meals for lunch at work every day, I clean all the dishes, make breakfast every morning, I do all the dirty laundry on Sunday, I stick to most of the inside necessary chores..but he definitely wants to do a lot more. Please someone tell me I am not overreacting.

for context, we're a group of six college students fresh out of high school, aged 17-19. I (18F) decided to distance myself from a friend group i had made recently because of an interaction from when we all went out. my ex friend (17F) had made several hurtful jokes about me being poor and coming from a poor background, repeatedly made fun of my disabilities (both physical and mental), and shamed me for being terrified of running into my stalker.

i didn't leave dramatically. i unfollowed everyone and left all group chats, just to be told im being overly weird. the entire group hates each other and constantly talks behind their backs. i don't know if i should've talked with them all or left differently, but i am genuinely so confused.

I (27f) am a shift manager at a large local convenience store. (Think along the lines of a smaller Walmart). Several weeks ago, back in early September, I had made plans to see my orthopedist due to an old sports’ injury flaring up. I have a bit of a limp at this point due to said injury.

In exchange for covering my shift that night, the store manager asked if I could run the truck that morning and leave in the afternoon instead to make my appointment. Also because she’d closed the night before. I told her I could.

I came to work the next morning at 3:45am in order to get ready to unload the truck at 4am.

A non-management employee, L (66F), was already there. L asked me where the head manager was and I told her the situation we had agreed upon.

She seemed a little annoyed, but understood.

Because of our small store, during a truck shift, it’s normal to start doing opening tasks prior to the truck’s arrival. I sat down and began to count the drawers for the morning while L did her tasks.

Just after finishing up my tasks, L comes to me and tells me to hurry up because the truck is outside. I oblige and unlock the loading door. I pull it open. There is no truck outside.

L went outside and sat on the curb to smoke a cigarette. L had already set up for receiving at the dock prior to coming to get me.

About fifteen minutes later, the truck arrives.

It is 4:15am at this point. The truck is late. There is a new driver and I look to L to walk me through the preparation process. This is my second truck with a bay like this, so I am unfamiliar some of the processes. L, as mentioned, has been a cashier at this store since it opened.

We go through the tedious task of unloading the (honestly) massive truck. It was well over 100 pieces of merchandise. By then, it is just past 5am. We took a little under an hour.

As I’m standing outside to fill out the driver’s paperwork, L begins complaining that I shouldn’t have done this and that I can barely walk. She asked again why our manager didn’t come and reiterated that our manager should’ve come and that it was stupid that I came instead.

These were the last words I exchanged with L.

It has now been several weeks since then, almost two months, and L refuses to look at me, speak to me, respond to any questions I ask her, or allow me to ring her up.

I am unsure what I’ve done wrong and I asked the head manager about this and she said just to wait it out.

This was the final straw in a long list of things that has made me want to transfer away from this store. Other occurrences include:

- Being called stupid behind my back and to my face by another member of my position.

- Being guilt tripped for being injured and told that I cannot do anything worthwhile because I am injured.

- Being robbed on my night shift.

- Being guilted out of calling out or going home early. (One of the specific instances was when I went blind in one of my eyes and my speech began slurring. Later diagnosed as a specific migraine type whose name I do not remember.)

- Being called an idiot for crying over another member in my position yelling at me.

- Less severe and more common issues like the distance of the store to my house and the lack of responsibility given to me despite my role.

Reports of all issues have been made to appropriate parties including my head manager, our small HR department, and our assistant manager.

Nothing has been done other than telling me to “wait it out” and “maybe it will get better on its own.” HR did not respond in any way.

I have been pushing for a transfer since prior to the incident with L.

AIO for pushing for the transfer even harder now?

ETA: Throwaway for obvious reasons.

My mom’s side are die hard conservative Catholics. I practice the faith but my beliefs differ greatly from them. Primarily because I’m the only one of then to not receive a homeschool education. I feel like their response is so out of proportion and stupid when I tried to empathize with why some people did celebrate Columbus and it just didn’t get through to them.

I (F27) and my bf (M24) went to a social gathering with my coworkers and he embarrassed me in front of everyone.

I'm quite new to this job and I work with this really lovely woman who I get along with really well. I have great chats with her, and we seem to have a lot in common. I've always been curious about her age, but never wanted to ask her because I know this is usually not appropriate to ask your colleagues.

Before we left for the dinner I asked my boyfriend to tell me how old he thinks she is because I'm just curious, and then after dinner to let me know.

At the dinner, one of my other colleagues asked him "So what does OP think of us/the workplace" and he just blurts out "Before we got here, OP told me to guess how old such and such is".

I went bright red I'm sure. I didn't say anything to him until we got in the car and I asked him why he would say that instead of something generic like "She enjoys the job".

AIO for being upset at him? I feel like in a way my job is in jeopardy or at least my relationship with my coworker. I don't think she heard, but that doesn't mean someone won't tell her.

By the way, I don't even mean it in a bad way when I asked him to guess her age, I'm really just curious because she looks a lot younger than she seems (owns a house, has had lots of interesting jobs, etc).

​

I (26F) met a guy (37M) online a year ago. We met in person in December 2025 and were intimate. Since then, we've talked almost daily, sometimes for hours. He's affectionate, shares everything with me, and there's still sexual tension. He started all of this with good morning's every day and goodnight's, and texting me non stop. Like literally. Calling me sweet names and stuff.

Initially, he talked about our future and me moving to his country. Three months after meeting, he said he didn't want a relationship and needed to work on himself. Since then, he's repeatedly postponed meeting and says, "We'll see." Everytime I ask. I travelled to him first time. And he always says "I don't know" "We will see" "in two weeks"

Recently, I bought a ticket to visit him because things seemed to be going well. He exploded, screamed that I couldn't come, said he never wanted to see me again, and threatened to block me. A few hours later, he apologized, saying he values me, enjoys talking to me, and doesn't want to lose our friendship, but doesn't know what he wants. He admitted he can be selfish and treat me badly when overwhelmed. He refunded my ticket when I asked next day.

His message:

I want to apologize to you, and I really appreciate the fact that you always have time for me, that you always care about me, and honestly, it’s really rare to meet someone like that. I’m aware of that. Whatever the reason for it might be, it’s hard to find someone who will listen to your bullshit for 8 hours. I don’t want to end our friendship, that’s not what this is about. To be honest, I don’t even know what to do with my life at this point. When you put pressure on me like that, some kind of defense mechanism kicks in or something, I don’t know. Afterwards I feel guilty about the way I talk to you, because you don’t deserve that. I don’t want to behave like that, because afterwards I feel really bad about it.

I like talking to you. Not always — sometimes I shut myself off, I have my own stuff going on in my head. I know that sometimes I’m selfish and only think about myself. If you’re able to accept our relationship the way it was, and it gives you something too, then we can obviously keep talking the way we used to. But I don’t know what’s going to happen. It’s not about what you think, whether I’ll meet someone or I won’t — that’s not what this is about. And it’s not like you’re...

You’re not nobody to me, you know a lot about me, I tell you a lot. I treat you like a friend, even though I guess I behave differently — but you noticed that at some point. I don’t know, I just wanted to write you a little bit about what I think. I don’t know if it makes sense, but there’s always something you can take from it. 😅 I think I owe you that, because I’m always shouting at you whenever you ask me about something, so I thought that today I’d give you a little bit of my time and actually open up.

You can see how I get when I’m in a certain state — I sing, I talk haha, but afterwards it can also get pretty difficult, like today. Honestly, I was just crying over all of this. But it’s probably the after-effects of the weekend. I haven’t been drinking since I got back, and I don’t want to for now, or anything else either. I’m finding it harder and harder to deal with sometimes.

Sometimes I think it would be best to isolate from everyone and just live like that, because relationships with people affect me pretty strongly. But on the other hand, the thought of being completely alone, not having someone who knows you and all that, scares me. I think about that sometimes, which is why, when it comes to taking care of valuable relationships, I think I know what you mean. One day they might be priceless.

I think I’ve gone crazy haha. I did smoke, to be fair, but I don’t think I wrote anything stupid. I just wanted to explain a little bit — what I think and what’s going on in my head. Maybe it’s a little chaotic, but there’s probably something to take from it. 😅

And I don’t want you to take this message as me saying, “We can talk, but we’re never going to meet.” That’s not what I’m saying — who knows. 😅

I explained that his affection and past promises gave me hope, but it's good to know where I'm standing on. I told him it's weird because even if he was slightly interested, he would meet with me. He said he didn't want to discuss it yet. The next morning, he sent playful voice messages saying, "You don't like me anymore!" and kept seeking reassurance that I still liked him.

He called me twice this week and continues texting, but I'm no longer showing much affection. I don't want late-night conversations or to fall asleep on the phone anymore.

He often, nonstop, talks about himself, his life, and his problems without asking about me, my life, or my needs. He also used to mention women staring at or flirting with him on the train. He displays what I perceive as narcissistic traits, although I can't know whether he has any disorder.

He uses drugs, sometimes drinks heavily, struggles mentally, calls himself worthless, and says he feels unworthy of love. He's also still in contact with his ex, who moved abroad to live with him after knowing him for only a month. I sometimes wonder whether I'm a rebound or filling the emotional void she left. They broke up 4 years ago.

He's planning to visit my country because his family lives here and dental treatment is cheaper. He mentioned wanting to visit more often but never suggested seeing me. I sarcastically replied, "Cool, meet your friends and family," and he laughed because he understood the irony. Instead, he made vague comments about how we might smoke weed together in person someday, adding, "Who knows?"

I feel like his unpaid therapist: I provide emotional support, companionship, affection, and reassurance, while he avoids commitment and concrete plans. He says I'm valuable to him but only sees me as a friend, yet continues acting affectionate and seeking validation.

He is divorced for years, has kids at my country. He had an ex I mentioned after that. He doesn't live with anyone, he sends me voice messages / picks up when I call in the evenings. So he is either still having feelings for his ex (well he said she wanted to get back together but he didn't want to) or waiting for better option.

Why does he want my attention and reassurance if he doesn't want a relationship?

And he just told me today he is going to Mallorca for work, he does house renovations and they fly him from another country there which seems weird but ok.

And I told him to party and have a good time and he said "you're jealous haha" and I said "about a friend? nooo hahha" And he said "ok" he called me later today and I told him great im happy about your trip, have fun and he said he will go to Ibiza and stuff. He can have fun with the girls, and the whole trip seems sus to me

How do you go from Germany to Mallorca to paint the walls? On a call I told him "you werent that excited to see me as you are about this trip"

He is very excited about the whole work trip, its not confirmed yet. When we talked I told him to get freaky and have fun and he said "oh you women! Im going there for a job" he will stay there for around a month. Also mentioned he will visit Ibiza. I told him "well since things between us are sorted out, have fun meet new people fall in love and get freaky haha"

Next day we text and he didnt even ask about my day. Nothing. Sends me pictures from work. Then sends me picture of tanning bed he went to. I'm not judging a guy going to tanning beds but...looks like he tries to appear more attractive? Then talks something about himself. Saturday went by. Not one question to ask about me. I think he is 100% having his attention somewhere else or hoping he will find another option. I mean, I was never an option to begin with. Just a pen pal.

Also worth mentioning: I know I'm an attractive woman. And few times when we were talking on a phone, he was like "I have to switch seats, this girl is looking at me, it will mess with my head" or mentioned some girl flirted with him on a train and was saying something in Thai (we are from Europe, in his country there are many people from all over the world, its a big city). He mentioned it few times or when he was standing in a train station and said some girl looked at him and then turned and looked again.

we are all girls living in a hostel close by for uni. we get our main meal of the day from this woman we pay to cook for us. she either asks us for suggestions, or tells us what she'll make. when she's tired she makes simple things and when she's sick she doesn't make anything and ive never told her to push herself. i can cook but with uni lectures and training immediately afterwards i have no time.

anyways ive been craving a beef stew, but didn't know what its called in my language bc ive never had it irl. the stew uses cheap cuts of beef. so i ask my mom if she knows what its called so I don't embarrass myself in front of the lady explaining to her what a stew is, and my mom goes on abt how its insensitive to ask for beef when its expensive these days and how i should ask for foods with ground beef if needed, shelf stables like rice and pasta, etc etc. but i can cook those with the time i have and they don't give me anything other than carbs, so why would i pay someone 750% of just rice or pasta?

i dont have a pressure cooker or anything similar and i dont have the time to make a stew. i also won't be buying any of those bc they're way too expensive and ill be finishing college in 2 years and can't take it back with me to my home country. im also willing to pay extra for the beef if it costs more than what i paid for. also the lady always asks us for suggestions already and sometimes refuses them if they're too much on her, so i don't see how bad it could be to ask?

am i void of emotion like what mom said or is it okay to ask her to make me a stew?

id also like to note that i never tell her that its a tomorrow thing, more like it's "whenever you can, could you make us X?" because some things need high energy days.

I 19F have two close friends. One is my bestie. The other is my guy friend I have known since middle school. They are dating and have been together since 11th grade. I met my bestie through him when he introduced her to me as his gf. At first I was the third wheel, then I got a bf and thought we could all hang out as couples.

The problem is their fights. Whenever they fight, both come to me and want me to be the tie breaker. They want me to pick a side. Last week my bestie called me crying because he went out without telling her and was not listening to her. Ten minutes later the guy friend texted me saying she was being dramatic and “you know how she gets.” I said “idk man talk to her.” He got mad at me.

Another time we were all hanging out, me and my bf plus them. The two guys went to get drinks. My bf later told me the guy friend vented to him about his gf and dragged me into it. He said stuff like “how can she be like this choosing someone I introduced her to instead of me.” I am not his spokesperson and I am not on anyone’s side.

I told them several times to stop dragging me into their relationship. Then I told the guy friend I did not want to continue being in the middle. He went on a rant about how I do not value friendship. He vented this to my bf. He asked my bf if he would still choose me over him. I told my bestie about this. She went on a rant about how I have changed since I entered a relationship and how I cannot find time for them.

I finally lost it and told them they should break up if they need me to survive. Then my bestie used a racial slur on me. She said she should never have been friends with a brown chink. I ended the friendship after that. Now they are saying I am the problem and that I abandoned them.

I also asked my bf to stop being friends with these two as well. Am I overreacting for ending the friendship after the slur and for asking my bf to drop them too?

I had spinal surgery that turned into many surgeries. I caught an infection that turned septic and I was rushed to the hospital that is 30 mins away. I was opened back up, for the 6th time, for a wash out....they wash out the infection to help remove it. I was in bad shape and placed in the icu a drug induced coma. Where I was for 8 days. I was not expected to survive. My family was called in twice to say their goodbye and my mom was told to get my affairs in order. I have two children, who are teenagers. My husband passed unexpectedly when our kids were 7. My boyfriend sat beside my bed in ICU and was sexting a girl and setting up a time to pick her up. I found out recently and I asked him. He admitted to it. Said he didn't believe the doctor and he didn't think I was going to die. And I didn't. He said "you were asleep, what was I supposed to do?" I was in a drug induced coma! I was actively trying to die! He tells me I'm being dramatic and im over reacting. It's not a big deal, just get over it. It's in the past, it's been two years. It happened two years ago but I just found out! So it's really new to me! Am I wrong for being hurt? Not the first time I have caught him sexting someone. He won't touch me. And hasn't in 4 years. He says I need to get over it and he won't do it again. He tired of me doing nothing but yelling at him.

I (25F) have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we have had a long distance relationship the whole time.

Last year, I planned a surprise visit to him and caught him having an intimate moment with another girl in his room. I was devastated but he begged for my forgiveness, assured me he was going to end contact with her and asked me to reconsider forgiving him. I forgave him because I still loved him and I wanted us to work things out.

About 3 weeks ago, I visited him again and found out that the same woman had recently moved into the apartment next door to his. I talked with him about it and told him honestly that I didn't feel right about it given their past.

He started defending himself instead of trying to see where I was coming from. He told me she had just moved in and that nothing had happened between them since she moved in, that I was just trying to find any reason not to trust him. He told me I was overreacting and making a mountain out of a molehill.

He can't stop who moves to the neighbourhood , I get that and I'm not suggesting he's sleeping around again without evidence. But this is the same woman I caught him with and the only reason I knew about them is cos I caught them in bed together.

I'm not asking for him to tell her to get out or to pick a fight with the neighbour. I just wanted him to get why this made me uncomfortable, and tell me it's fine and not me, not to try and fight me on it.

I'm starting to think I need to let go of the past a little more. I did forgive him, so perhaps I need to try harder to believe in him.

AIO for being uncomfortable with the situation and expecting him to understand my concerns, or am I making an issue out of something he can’t control?

My boyfriend (27M) and I (25F) have been together for almost two years. Until recently, I genuinely thought we had a healthy relationship. We rarely fought, I trusted him, and I’ve never been the type to go through someone’s phone or demand to know where they are 24/7.

That’s why I’m so confused about what happened.

About three months ago, he started mentioning a female coworker, “Mia,” more often. Nothing immediately suspicious. He’d tell me funny things she said at work or mention that their team went out for drinks. I didn’t think anything of it because I have male coworkers too, and I don’t believe being in a relationship means you can’t have friends of the opposite sex.

Then little things started not adding up.

He told me he was going straight home after work one Friday. Later that night, he casually mentioned that he and some coworkers had gone out. When I asked why he hadn’t mentioned it earlier, he said the plans were spontaneous and he didn’t think it mattered.

Fine. I let it go.

A couple of weeks later, we were having dinner when Mia texted him. He looked at his phone, smiled, and turned it facedown. I jokingly asked if I was missing out on an inside joke.

He immediately got defensive and said, “Can you not do this?”

I was genuinely confused because I hadn’t accused him of anything. I told him I was just asking, and he said I was making him feel like he couldn’t talk to female friends without being interrogated.

I apologized for making him uncomfortable, even though I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong.

That’s the part I keep thinking about now.

A month ago, I borrowed his laptop to print something because mine wasn’t working. His messages were open, and I happened to see Mia’s name. I wasn’t looking for anything, but one message caught my attention because it said, “I wish last night didn’t have to end.”

I didn’t click through the conversation or start searching. I closed the laptop and asked him about it later that evening.

He laughed at first and said it was an inside joke. When I told him the wording made me uncomfortable, he said Mia was going through a rough patch and he’d been helping her emotionally.

I asked him one simple question: had anything romantic or physical happened between them?

He looked me in the eyes and said no.

I told him I appreciated the honesty and asked if he could establish clearer boundaries with her because the messages didn’t feel appropriate to me. He agreed, said he understood, and told me I had nothing to worry about.

I wanted to believe him.

Last weekend, though, we were at a mutual friend's birthday party. One of our friends had a few drinks and made a comment about my boyfriend being “brave enough to keep things complicated at work.”

Everyone went quiet for a second.

I asked what that meant, and the friend immediately tried to change the subject. My boyfriend got annoyed with him and told me we should leave.

In the car, I asked again.

After about twenty minutes of arguing, my boyfriend finally admitted that he and Mia had kissed twice. He said both times happened after work drinks, that it was a mistake, and that he’d stopped it before things went any further.

I asked when.

The first time was apparently two months ago. The second was three weeks ago.

So when I’d asked him directly whether anything romantic or physical had happened, he had already kissed her twice and still told me no.

He said he hadn’t told me because he knew I’d be upset, and he didn’t want to ruin our relationship over something that “didn’t mean anything.”

I told him that the kissing was bad enough, but the lying afterward was what really hurt me.

That’s when the conversation changed.

Suddenly, I was apparently responsible for creating an environment where he couldn’t be honest. He said he had hidden it because I was insecure about Mia, and if I had trusted him more, he might have felt comfortable telling me.

I pointed out that I had literally asked him a direct question and given him an opportunity to tell the truth.

He said I was twisting his words.

He also insisted that because he had confessed eventually, I should give him credit for being honest now. According to him, I was focusing on the worst possible interpretation instead of appreciating that he wanted to fix things.

I told him I needed a few days to think.

Since then, he’s sent me long messages about how much he loves me, how everyone makes mistakes, and how throwing away two years over two kisses would be unreasonable.

But he also keeps saying that my reaction is proof that I never trusted him in the first place.

I haven’t screamed at him, contacted Mia, posted anything about him, or involved our friends. I’ve just taken some space and told him I’m not ready to act like everything is normal.

I’m not even sure whether nothing more happened. I only know what he has chosen to tell me, and his previous answers weren’t exactly reliable.

For context, I have never asked him to stop having female friends, shared his location, or given him rules about who he can talk to. I thought I was being pretty reasonable throughout this whole situation.

I also know that kissing someone else doesn’t automatically mean a relationship of two years was fake. People make bad decisions. But he had multiple opportunities to tell me the truth, and instead he denied it, let me apologize for questioning him, and then blamed my reaction when he was caught.

So, AIO for taking this seriously and considering ending the relationship, even though he insists it was only two kisses and says I’m making him regret being honest?

I genuinely want outside perspectives because I don’t want to make a permanent decision out of anger. But I also don’t want to stay in a relationship where I have to prove I’m trusting enough before my partner feels obligated to tell me the truth.

So I (27F) have been working at this salon for a year now. For context, it’s a full-service hair, nail, and tanning salon (spray tans and tanning beds).

There’s a guy, let’s call him “Rick”, that comes in just to use the tanning bed multiple times a week. I’d estimate he’s in his upper 50s or so. It’s not abnormal for clients to come in that often, and sometimes this guy just seems friendly and doesn’t do or say anything alarming, but there have been a few times where my coworkers and I have felt uncomfortable.

The first time was a few weeks after starting at this salon. I was checking Rick in to use the bed when he inquired about my tattoos (I have some on my arms and hands that he could see). He complimented them, which is nice, but he then told me that he “wondered what other tattoos I had that he couldn’t see.” The way he said it and the look on his face made me feel like he was mentally undressing me. He tanned, he left, and I was grossed out.

Fast forward a few months later, a Friday morning, Rick comes in to tan per usual, and my (24F) coworker, let’s call her “Aria”, is the one talking with him as I’m taking care of something else at the front desk. Rick asked Aria what her weekend plans were. Aria said that she was going to lay around in bed all weekend. Rick’s response? “Well, that could be fun with the right company, you know what I mean?”
Aria awkwardly laughed it off and sent him on his way. Aria told me how uncomfortable she was but that she too nervous to talk to the boss about it herself.

At this point, I sit down with my boss and explain the situations (with Arias’s consent to mention her feelings as well). My boss’s response was basically that it’s “just how his generation is!” And that “he and his wife are good customers here.”
I double down and say that “his age is not an excuse to be inappropriate” and that “his money isn’t worth us being uncomfortable.”
The boss’s solution? That we simply try to avoid him the best we can and that she’ll “keep an eye on it.”

After that, months pass, and there weren’t any weird comments or anything. Well, until a few days ago.

Rick comes in to tan, per usual. Another coworker of mine (38F, “Jen”) is chatting with him, and then he goes to bed. A minute later, Rick walks back out of the room and to the front desk, only wearing his boxers, and asks Jen if she can break his $5 bill into $1’s because, “we want a tip, don’t we?”
(He always leaves a single dollar in the room with the tanning bed.) After this exchange, Jen laughed about it and didn’t seem bothered, but I thought it was inappropriate. I feel as though any of my previous bosses would have drawn a line if their employees were feeling uncomfortable.

So, AIO? What would you do?

Young married couple have been married 2 years last week she mentioned adding me onto her insurance on the basis of me paying her back what comes out of her check. Maybe I’m over reacting to think that’s crazy but that’s not how I was raised. It seems counter productive in a marriage to ask each other to pay them back for things. I see a marriage as one maybe she doesn’t. We have no shared accounts and split our rent 50/50. I pay my car insurance and both phone bills along with our WiFi. There’s been many other minor spats about things similar to this like this quite frequently.

I genuinely need some outside perspectives because I don’t know how to handle this without jumping to conclusions.

Back in July, I (F, 24) noticed that my boyfriend (29) had 11 condoms in his bathroom. I made a note of the number on my phone (don’t ask me why lol, I guess I just wanted to remember).

Over the following months, I checked a few more times and there were always exactly 11. About three weeks ago I checked again. Still 11.

Then last Sunday, I counted them and there were only 7.

So 4 condoms disappeared within approximately three weeks.

We don't use condoms. He has also previously told me that he doesn’t give condoms to his friends.

The condoms are kept in his private bathroom, which is inside his bedroom. It isn’t a shared bathroom that random people in the house regularly use.

They were also attached to each other in a strip, so someone would have had to separate four of them. It doesn’t seem likely that four individual condoms simply fell somewhere unnoticed.

When I brought it up, he initially got upset and said he didn’t believe there had ever been 11. I showed him the note I made back in July and he accepted that I wasn’t making the number up.

He then seemed genuinely shocked and kept saying he had absolutely no idea where they went.

He said: "I’ll also go insane, it doesn’t make any sense.”

His main point was that he spends almost all his free time with me, I have his location, and he mostly goes to work and comes home. He kept asking, “When would I even have the time to cheat on you?” (He works in a fine dining restaurant) And plus; he said he always answers my calls, texts me whenever he sees it or never had any issue with me wanting to spend the night at his place even if it's not planned before. Which is true.

To be fair, we do spend a lot of time together and his routine seems pretty consistent. But there have also been times over the past three weeks when we were apart and he was home alone.

He suggested that maybe his roommate’s friends went into his bedroom and took some condoms, although he admitted he didn’t actually know what happened. He also immediately called his roommate himself to ask about it which I appreciated.

There’s also something else that happened recently that’s making this harder for me to brush off.

About 4–5 days before this, I asked to see a text conversation between him and a female coworker. First he didn't want to show me and talked to me for 15 minutes how this crosses boundaries. I told him that him not wanting to show me is a response and I'll take that; he said "Fine". He got his phone in front of me but I felt like he was just doing something so I stood up and went next to him. When he initially looked for their conversation, he couldn’t find it, which I thought was strange.

I then suggested checking his Recently Deleted messages, and sure enough, their conversation was there.

The messages themselves were completely work-related. There was absolutely nothing inappropriate or flirty in them and I want to make that clear.

However, what bothered me was that the conversation appeared to have been deleted shortly after they exchanged those messages.

When I confronted him about it, he insisted that he hadn’t deleted anything and had no idea why the conversation was in Recently Deleted.

He said his phone must have done it automatically/or his phone was already weird and he had to get a new phone.

To support his explanation, he showed me that one of his group chats with his male friends was also in Recently Deleted.

He said something along the lines of, “See? Why would I delete my boys’ group chat either? My phone did that.”

And I understand his point. It wasn’t just the female coworker’s conversation that had been deleted.

But I still found it strange because, as far as I know, iPhones don’t normally move individual conversations to Recently Deleted on their own.

I know these could be two completely unrelated incidents but having them happen so close together has made it difficult for me to feel reassured.

I’m not trying to use four missing condoms or one deleted conversation as automatic proof that he cheated. I’m more concerned about the combination of unexplained things happening and how it’s affecting my trust.

I genuinely don’t want to accuse someone of cheating without evidence, but I also don’t want to ignore things that seem suspicious just because I love him.

If you were in my position, how would you interpret these two incidents together?

Would you consider them concerning, or do you think I’m connecting two unrelated situations because I’m already anxious? To be fair I've never been like this in any relationships before this, I'm normally a secure person.

Also, has anyone ever experienced an iPhone automatically moving conversations to Recently Deleted without manually deleting them?

I’m genuinely looking for objective opinions, not just people telling me to break up with him. I am the type of person who gives the benefit of doubt to her loved ones; but am I being too naive? I don't think he is capable of doing something as horrible as cheating, cause he has been cheated on before so he knows the pain HOWEVER I am going crazy when I'm alone and thinking about these.

I lived with someone who I found on a Facebook housing advertisement, and both of us moved out of that unit after two leases. She had been living in that apartment longer though, but moved out when I did, to a different place. She stole $800 from me, and I didn't want to necessarily block her after moving out, but only talked to her by messaging when she contacted me first. The final straw though was when she decided she was going to move again, and asked me to move in with her in the middle of the winter, during a snow storm, etc., and wanted to pay equal rent for a 1 bed 1 bath while she got the bedroom and I took the living room.

I decided to block her a month after I sent my final message to her. I thought she'd take the hint that she got blocked on all social media, and realize that it was because I wasn't tolerating her anymore, and just leave me alone. But no.

About three months after I blocked her, and eight after speaking to her in person for the final time, I was looking in my call log for something else, and saw that she had tried calling me twice the night before, both times at 11 pm or something. Obviously I didn't see them come through, as her number is blocked. I also looked then in my blocked/spam messages, and she had texted me also, and I deleted it without reading it.

Then, for the next five nights or something, she called me repeatedly, all super late at night, like after 11 pm. She even tried calling me on WhatsApp, which I did not have her blocked on, and I actually saw the call come through. I ignored it.

I cannot get this out of my head. I just wanted to cut ties with someone who stole that dollar amount from me, and still I can't help feeling guilty about blocking her.