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u/turtlette0079 Feb 22 '26
You're not overreacting. Her reaction is weird as fuck.
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u/cycolyst Feb 23 '26
Her question if you use them is the creepy part. It's an immature comment, and meant to put you on the defensive.
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u/Alarming_Ad_6713 Feb 22 '26
This!! You sound like a great guy who is sensitive to the needs of others. She should be impressed not mad.
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u/Clarity_Frameworks Feb 22 '26
Nah, you’re not overreacting.
This isn’t about pads. It’s about her getting weird over the fact you have female friends and do something considerate for them. A lot of women would actually see that as thoughtful, not creepy.
Her jumping straight to “why does a grown man have tampons” and implying something off about it is just insecurity turning into accusations. Nothing you described is strange. It’s practical. It saves awkwardness. That’s it.
What’s more concerning is how she handled it. No real explanation. Just repeating “it’s creepy,” storming out, and making it a character flaw instead of a conversation.
Most people would see this as a green flag. She saw it as a threat. That tells you way more about her than about you.
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u/Decent-Stuff4691 Feb 22 '26
"Do you use it?" Is a wild response too lmao
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u/QueensPetOH Feb 22 '26
She's trying to shame his response and that's sucks even worse than her initial reaction.
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u/JeffreyinKodiak Feb 23 '26
The correct response would be “I turn off the bathroom cameras first, why?”
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u/hesstrucksback Feb 23 '26
"I get frequent nose bleeds, sometimes the best hands free method for dealing with the initial flow is a tampon."
This would be pure creepy vibes. Makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.
/s
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u/kokoszanka Feb 23 '26
And also "a grown man" like if he was a boy having tampons it would be totally okay XD
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u/PrettyEquipment1809 Feb 22 '26 edited Feb 22 '26
Gay guy here (for context). The way I see it, if this were anything else like a First Aid kit - with Band-Aids (adhesive bandages), gauze, etc. - or even an Epipen you keep around for emergencies, it wouldn't be a problem. The only thing I can imagine her reaction was about is the fact that perhaps SHE is somehow embarrassed about needing one. But even still, just because these are things women use "between their legs" during a natural monthly event doesn't mean YOU'RE the one putting them there. Does she think you insert the tampons yourself? LOL Does she think you're sexualizing this? How bizarre! Despite what others are saying about the different thicknesses, knowing that different women experience different levels of flow makes your providing these all the more thoughtful and considerate. It's like keeping extra toothbrushes around in case a friend needs one after dinner or something.
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u/rville Feb 22 '26
Your comment took my brain down another path. Maybe she wanted proof that he’d get HER products - like a little quest or test of loyalty. And the only thing she can think of is him having passed the test for someone else and hates it.
Also, sometimes care feels gross or dangerous to people who’ve never had it.
Either way - not worth the trouble.
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u/PinkPussycatPower Feb 22 '26
Also, sometimes care feels gross or dangerous to people who’ve never had it.
This is the most accurate thing I’ve read in Reddit in a while.
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u/Phantomtollboothtix Feb 23 '26
Oh man. That’s probably it.
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u/rville Feb 23 '26
Probably. And the saddest part for caring people is to walk away before they are too entwined and end up run through.
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u/paradisetossed7 Feb 23 '26
As a woman who was best friends with two brothers in college, I would've loved for them to be like OP; so many times I would go to change a tampon and these men did not even have a bathroom wastebasket, I would have to wrap it in a ton of toilet paper and put it in my bag until I got home 😭
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u/CharacterMassive5719 Feb 23 '26
I think she's either not open about periods and it makes her uncomfortable how open OP is or, more likely, she's jealous of the other women around him, maybe even thinks it's some stuff his ex left behind, which is something that'd bother a potentially jealous new girlfriend.
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u/UrbanMuffin Feb 22 '26
You’re not creepy for this, she is insecure and that’s really what this is about. The idea of women coming over and you having supplies for them.
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u/RoberttPostsChild Feb 23 '26
Agree, OP is the bee’s knees for providing supplies to his fairer sex friends. And so discreetly, too. It’s all low key murmur murmur and embarrassment-free. 5 stars for OP, 0 stars for his not nice date.
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u/alirutia Feb 22 '26
I could maybe see her jumping to you having a girlfriend or sleeping with a lot of women because many women don’t have accommodating males in their lives. Like we grow up with dads who are too awkward to buy them and make us go it alone when we’re just little kids still and it’s scary, or the partners who make it a chore to help out. But I mean I also have a basket with pads, tampons, and midol for guests and always have as an adult. I am a woman though, so I don’t think anyone ever thinks anything of it. I wouldn’t unblock her or continue with the interaction though. If she’s that insecure, it’s not likely it will improve. I’d probably be very impressed. My son isn’t old enough yet to really encounter girls on their periods, but I do plan on having him carry supplies for his girl friends since he’s best friends with a girl and just gets along with most kids. I want him to be what most of us don’t have. Good for you for looking out for your guests.
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u/Vyraxysss Feb 22 '26
My dad always brought anything i needed and any guy I've dated has been normal and helpful while I've had my period. It's definitely not all guys who are useless with this stuff!
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u/MailLadyx3 Feb 22 '26
My fiancé doesn’t care about going to the store and grabbing whatever I need. My ex though? He wouldn’t be caught dead holding a box of tampons or pads. He literally flat out said “ew no. I’m not doing that.”
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u/Environmental-Gap380 Feb 22 '26
I never minded picking the stuff up for my wife. I just needed exact descriptions/sizes of what she wanted. My daughter has started her period, and she is more awkward about it than me.
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u/--Uberwench-- Feb 22 '26
I knew I had a keeper when he bought them for me first time I asked. I don't need them anymore at this point but my daughter does. He doesn't blink an eye when he goes on the Costco run "what do you need? green box, orange box?". LOL. OP is doing the right thing.
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u/Vyraxysss Feb 22 '26
That's great. I swear girls who take issue have internalised misogyny or some shit.
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u/ContemplativeKnitter Feb 22 '26
Years ago, probably in the 1990s, my husband ran out to get me tampons once when we were away on vacation. He gets to the checkout counter at CVS with the box of tampons and the guy working the register says (kindly) “We’ve all been there, man.”
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u/Treehousehunter Feb 22 '26
I’ve never encountered a guy who was weird about it either and I’m in my 50’s. Even when I was in college way back in the 80’s, no guy I dated was anything but accommodating. Not as accommodating as OP, but that would have been nice!
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u/MixtureInteresting22 Feb 22 '26
When I met my husband he had been single for quite some time, but lived with a female roommate. When I found tampons in his room (not bathroom), that COULD have made me question him.
But as an old school boy scout he had them for his outdoor emergency package. Nothing better than a nice waterproof packed slab of dry cotton wool to start a fire! 😅 It hadn't even crossed his mind to ask that roommate/friend for two or three of her tampons...
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u/melancholanie Feb 22 '26
this right here. next man she dates is gonna get creeped out by her asking him to buy them and she'll realize how good she had it.
bro just has a nice bathroom, what a horror
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u/AvBanoth Feb 22 '26
I've never bought them, but if they were on my shopping list I wouldn't bat an eyelid, although I might ask what type. Keeping a variety in stock strikes me as thoughtful, not creepy or weird. I'm a boomer, FWIW.
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u/AvBanoth Feb 22 '26
It's always a good thing to teach your children how to be considerate instead of expecting them to figure it out for themselves. I wish that more parents understood that.
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u/rwent117 Feb 22 '26
Not overreacting. She's insecure that you have female friends that you're close to. This jealousy probably won't improve. I'd call it.
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Feb 22 '26
This is my thinking too, if this is her response to something so unbelievably innocent that I don't even know who took one or when it was used, it probably won't get any better no matter the explanation I provide
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u/Dramatic_Phraser Feb 22 '26
It’s not even just innocent. You are showing that you actually care about the comfort of others. This is rare in a guy. Especially at your age.
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u/LamelasLeftFoot Feb 22 '26
The fact that she also doesn't believe you haven't cheated on anyone is also a red flag, unless you're a massive flirt or something. You can guarantee a relationship with her is going to be constant accuasations of cheating and having to reassure her that you aren't
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u/JohnExcrement Feb 22 '26
But he owns (gasp) CONDOMS!! /s
She’s way too insecure — and accusatory, which would be a killer for me.
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u/train_emily Feb 22 '26
NOR. It’s only weird because it’s not the norm. She’s confused (doesn’t understand because it’s not the norm) so she termed it creepy. It’s up to her to figure herself out.
Kudos to you for being a considerate human.
Ps. Figure out what your deal breaker is. Her behaviour is 🚩 on the play.
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u/Apprehensive_Run_539 Feb 22 '26
I don’t see it as strange at all. It just means you have a significant number of females in your friend group.
When when my husband and I met, he had a box of assorted tampons and what not in his bathroom, even though he had a male roommate.
He also had a 14-year-old sister who would come and stay the weekends and school breaks with him and bring her cousins sometimes; him being was the only younger generation male in the family he was used to the girls needing these things. I can think of a time or two I was grateful for that box.
Once we moved in together, it just rolled over that there were always supplies in the house. It’s just another one of the things that makes them a wonderful husband. He has no problem going to the store and buying supplies. Honestly, if he’s out at the store and he thinks it’s around that time and he sees them on sale he’ll buy them just for the sake of it to put in the cabinet. I don’t think I’ve had to purchase a box of tampons in 20 years (he likes to run errands and do the shopping well I do more homebound oriented ) unless I was out and about and alone by myself in need of them. Even if we are traveling or staying with family, he offered to go get them.
Some people are considerate.. your girlfriend shouldn’t think you’re a creep because you’re considerate. It’s a very different thing than always having one in your pocket just in case you run into a random female that needs one.
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u/Radiant_Fondant_4097 Feb 22 '26
Homeboy is being useful having pads on tampons in the bathroom to go, and people in this thread are losing their fucking minds over the word “Female” and a light joke over periods.
Touch some fucking grass people, get off the internet.
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u/AvBanoth Feb 22 '26
Does Reddit have a Reddit client that gets a different feed from what I get on the WWW? Because I'm not seeing the posts criticizing OP's thoughtfulness.
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u/Somethin_Snazzy Feb 22 '26
The first few posts usually tend to be bad before the up and down voting kick in
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u/lllll00s9dfdojkjjfjf Feb 22 '26
What are they going to do with their day if they don’t find some trivial thing to be offended about in a post about a guy doing a genuinely kind act?
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u/Alternative_Swan_497 Feb 22 '26
The "Monthly ritual battle gear" part is funny, but not everyone shares the same sense of humor. I can understand someone finding that part a little bit off-putting.
Her reaction to you having feminine sanitary products on hand in general is bizarre - it's very thoughtful and far more considerate than most single guys. If she finds it weird, then she needs to find someone else who doesn't do that. NOR.
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u/horrorjunkie707 Feb 22 '26
It made sense to me because his friends come over to play DND, so they're already using various "battle gear" to play, and hygiene products are just more battle gear.
But I'm also a nerdy woman.
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u/Prestigious_Baker651 Feb 22 '26
Yeah people are completely skipping over how it’s part of their game.
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u/Alarmed-Baseball-378 Feb 22 '26
I mean, personally I think it would make me fall in love with OP on the spot, but I guess some people
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u/Artisticblood05 Feb 22 '26
Bro you’re awesome, this would instantly make me trust you. That’s so thoughtful of you . Bravo 👏
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u/Minty676 Feb 22 '26
As a middle aged woman who could have really used a friend ( of any gender) like this at times in my life, I’d say not creepy but that I can understand why some women would find it so.
This not a reflection on you but more about society as a whole and the way women are treated regarding our natural bodily functions.
We are taught from a very early age that this is “women’s only business” and that we should be ashamed for the fact that it exists in the first place.
TBH I think you lady friends are really lucky to have a supportive and open minded male in their lives - it’s a rare privilege - as for the girl you were/are dating I’d say she has been raised with some very antiquated attitudes towards this subject and just doesn’t know how to deal with the discomfort she is now feeling about what she has been taught.
The best thing you can do now is politely move on, from what I can tell you explained everything to her appropriately and she has made her feelings clear on this subject.
She needs to work on personal growth and overcome the initial negative feelings around being a woman and you need to find one who is already past this stage or better still never had to go through it.
Good luck OP, NOR / NTAH
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u/Staneoisstan Feb 22 '26
As. GenX chick I've raised both GenZ (F)and Zennial (M) kids to adulthood normalizing periods. We had to basically keep everything on the DL growing up but I wasn't going to do that with my kids. My husband was raised by a single parent, mother, so it took no convincing to make sure that there wasn't a stigma. My friends have been the same way with their kids. In HS my daughter was the "mother" of her friends group and had all the gear ready to go. However it was cool that the school had free pads and tampons as well. If we keep normalizing things things will be cooler for the younger groups.
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u/Own_Candidate9553 Feb 23 '26
Yeah, same in our house. My wife did a great job normalizing everything to our daughter, and we all talk openly about it. Our daughter is now comfortable handling it mostly on her own, we help her with laundry and supplies.
I remember I was 10-12, somewhere in there, and found a bunch of little white things in our bathroom cabinet and asked my mom what they were. She got all embarrassed and told me to ask her again when I turned 18!!! Internally I immediately guessed it was something about sex, but of course they were just loose tampons.
18?!? I don't remember when my sister started her period, but I'm sure it was before that. My wife and daughter both started early, around 12. So my Mom sent me out in the world to be friends with and date women having their periods but I couldn't know anything about it. 🤷
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u/Machoopi Feb 22 '26
I also want to mention, even though this absolutely does not seem to be the case from what OP is saying, that a creepy person can make just about anything creepy. I had a friend who had a similar setup to OP, and I eventually discovered that his behavior when with women in private was straight up creep behavior. It took a while for our group to figure this out, and eventually it led to a fracture where most of us (including myself) no longer talk to that person. That said, he spent a lot of effort setting himself up as the trustworthy dude that was safe to be around, but when alone with those women who trusted him, he would (as I later found out) pretty much always try to sleep with them. Even when they told him no, it would continue to happen. It made us all realize that the generosity was either feigned for the sake of getting laid, or he genuinely thought he had a pass on harassing women because he did nice things for them. If I were a woman who had experienced this before, I might see that behavior as inherently creepy even if that's not the case. I could also see if someone was warned about the person being a creep, that this could be seen as creepy rather than generous.
again, I don't think this is the case with OP because it does seem genuine, but I think it's important to illustrate that even things that appear generous and kind can be creepy in the right context.
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u/Lonely_Wolf6160 Feb 22 '26
NOR. I haven't hosted DnD in person in quite some time but if I did I would want my period having friends to feel safe just in case. You're doing a good thing and I think that more people should be doing this
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u/cflatjazz Feb 22 '26
This feels like the same level of preparedness as making sure lunch plans are decided on before beginning play. Just a decent contingency
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u/Impressive-Today6406 Feb 22 '26
I’ve seen a a variation of this post where the supposed guy works in security and keeps these items in his backpack and someone complains to HR.
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u/aburchfield0x Feb 22 '26
“Monthly ritual battle gear” has me CACKLING!!!
Seriously, ditch the girl. 5-6 months is nothing and if she’s overreacting about you being helpful and kind, I don’t see how it could last with her. NOR, but she totally is.
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u/vp_wiz Feb 22 '26
"Blocked her number" ... until you get an apology? What if she has second thoughts about her comments and wants to revisit them with you?
I just gotta say that there's something about your post that kinda screams adolescence. (And I couldn't tell you precisely why that is; just going with my gut.)
With respect to your guest this weekend, while your feminine hygiene kit may have proved disconcerting, I'm hard pressed to believe that it alone set her running. It just feels like she may have soured on you a bit already, and this was her tipping point.
You can likely unblock her; you won't be hearing further from her.
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u/Ok_Confusion_1777 Feb 22 '26
I have to say there is some element of this that is off. It's like you're virtue signaling about this and want people to be proud of it and reacted defensively when she wasn't. There's just a whiff of Redditor cringe about this basket and its label that is hard to pin down precisely.
OP, why do you think you are single? Maybe we can unearth more here.
P.S. Her reaction is a little silly either way.
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u/Small-Objective-2293 Feb 24 '26
So the guy should -not- share this this difficult experience because the narrative contains an (incredibly creative) altruistic act? Why should he make himself smaller because you’re uncomfortable?
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u/Better_Chard4806 Feb 22 '26
You’re the definition of a true friend. Even if she apologized I’d steer clear of her. Don’t expect that apology especially since she’s blocked.
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u/d33psix Feb 22 '26
Yeah I have a weird feeling like she’d have a lot of weird toxic masculinity hang ups like getting the ick if he ever cried at an emotional movie in front of her or something.
Like he should be naturally scared of feminine hygiene products as a “normal man” so him being comfortable buying them for his home is wrong and creepy.
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u/OriginalCause Feb 22 '26
"Monthly blood sacrifice ritual...."
"No one's the wiser and the female can feel confident...."
Yea. Might have been that particular phrasing. If you speak as stilted as you type, kept referring to women as "the females" and condescendingly explained how periods work I might just run out too.
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u/IAMAPAIDCIASHILL Feb 22 '26
I mean, women are also adults who can look out for their own periods lmao. What else are you keeping stocked at your house "just in case"? Let me guess, it's just the tampons. Gotta seem like a real good guy lmao
Reddit won't think this is weird bevuse they are all 14 year olds who live in a fantasy world in which women are simultaneously totally unable to act on their own volition while still being the most independent monolith.
"we must protect the poor, little weak women! But they're also strong and don't need protection!" pick a fucking lane.
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u/Southern_Slice_7363 Feb 23 '26
You've completely missed the point. Nobody is suggesting women 'can't manage' their own periods. Dude is just being considerate and he's had positive feedback about this from all his female friends. Are you suggesting that people putting handwash and a towel in the guest bathroom implies guests can't manage their own hand hygeine? Or do you just get weirded out by anything that's out of the ordinary?
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u/Individual-Past-8054 Feb 22 '26
Not overreacting, her reaction is the one that's strange and very much blown out of proportion.
I'd be delighted if a friend (male or female) was this accommodating and considerate. It's like the fact that I, who suffer no allergies, always keep antihistamines at my place. I actually also keep tampons here, even though I only use pads myself.
Keep doing you, buddy. This only speaks well of your character.
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u/janlikebrady Feb 22 '26
Dude. NOR at all. Like not even a little bit. I wish every person who didn’t have a monthly sacrifice would’ve this understanding and accommodating. Imo this is just basic human decency. May both sides of your pillow always be cool.
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u/Shatnerz_Bassoon Feb 22 '26
Not creepy. I have a mixed group of friends and the girls don’t avoid period talk just because men are there. The men have wives of their own. We are all grown ups and they know and understand about periods.
NTA just a forward planning guy imo
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u/Brrdock Feb 22 '26
Seems clearly like she's just insecure about you having stuff for "women" at your flat.
Nowadays it's just trendy and easy to just go "creep/ick" to whatever you're uncomfrotable with instead of examining your feelings
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u/Lethania Feb 22 '26
The only problem I have is you calling women females ;D otherwise having those products are super considerate of you. Kudos! Her raccoon is sad to me.
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u/Upvotespoodles Feb 22 '26
It points to further immaturity (on top of her attacking your character), that she’s gone and roped her friends into this.
If my dude friend had a period basket, I’d be elated. “Monthly ritual battle basket” is fucking hilarious. Lots of us enjoy people like you who are thoughtful and humorous. It’s the last thing you should ever have to defend.
NOR whatsoever.
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u/Live-Tomorrow-4865 Feb 22 '26
This is not creepy, it's incredibly thoughtful!
Bleakly funny that our twisted society is so unaccustomed to normal behavior or actions that a kindness pings as a weirdness.
NOR
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u/Organic_Reporter Feb 22 '26
Not weird. Neither my daughter nor I used tampons but we've plenty in the bathroom and my sons know they're welcome to offer them to any girlfriends/female friends. Both sons are also quite happy to go to the shops for whatever their girlfriends need (and usually bring chocolate!) - my 18 year old left his own party to go and get supplies for one of the girls as she had a particular preference.
If you regularly have women using your bathroom, it's perfectly normal and very considerate to keep such supplies in and easily accessible. Plenty of pubs and cafes do now too.
You're right, her issue is more jealousy and insecurity than finding it creepy.
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u/us3rnam3andpassword Feb 22 '26
Sounds more r/aita. How can you get an apology if you block her number and refuse to speak to her.
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u/MaddoxJKingsley Feb 22 '26
It's thoughtful, but damn that's a lot of words kinda moralizing about it. I hope the way you talk in real life isn't like that because ngl, it is a bit off-putting. You stock menstrual products in your bathroom because you often have women over. You gave the basket a funny lil name, and that's it. Don't self-aggrandize about it, or talk about avoiding women's shame.
Also, how often do women get their period at your place?? Periods last five days, but there's only one day when they start. The rest of the week, you wouldn't be caught out by it. And who is leaving events suddenly because their period comes?? Do you know a lot of women with endometriosis?
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Feb 22 '26
I think this is it for me. It’s some sort of weird man-savior preaching going on, and I wouldn’t want their stupid “silly” fucking dungeon tampons or whatever cause periods are not really cute and funny to me. Maybe keep a box in the back of your cabinet or something, but don’t make it some childish, weird shit like this. Yeah, I can see where she is coming from.
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u/kokoszanka Feb 23 '26
That's honestly the best take. The matter in itself is pretty straightfortward, maybe it's a little weird but if she knows him for a few months and knows he really frequently has many people over, it shouldn't be really suspicious or whatever. BUT thw way he talks about safe space etc. is weird and can read as virtue signalling. Still, doesn't make her reaction okay. Making a harmless joke to humble him a little should be enough.
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u/Elderberry_Hamster3 Feb 22 '26
What's it with all these posts from men who stock a vast variety of menstrual products for the immense number of women who seem to get surprised by their periods, and then there's always one woman who calls them a creep for it and they feel the need to tell the world about it?
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u/ginger_beer__ Feb 22 '26
calling it a monthly blood sacrifice ritual, plus the way you've worded some other parts of the story, kind of rubs me the wrong way; anyway, purely based on your words, there's nothing wrong with it and her reaction looks like unjustified jealousy, I was friends with a couple of guys and they also had pads in the bathroom, and I always thought it was a very caring gesture
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u/Uncle_peter21 Feb 22 '26
Just sounds like nerd speak 🤷🏻♀️ no red flags here, NOR
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u/d33psix Feb 22 '26
Also…I don’t get the sense that it’s relevant at all to her calling him a creep about having the products. It seems to mainly be about having them at all at least from the way he described.
People can not like his sense of humor but yeah I don’t think it’s super relevant to the main question.
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u/SomeEstimate1446 Feb 22 '26
I think it’s hilarious.
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u/ginger_beer__ Feb 22 '26
I guess humor really is subjective. But what rubs me the wrong way isn't just that, it's that plus the fact he uses the word 'females', he's using his friend's group expression to describe her girlfriend's period too, he's so pleased with his joke about 'helping his friends putting the tampon in' that he's added it to the story even though it wasn't necessary, and other little details. I feel like there might be a pattern there and it makes me want to also hear the girlfriend's point of view, if the story is real, obviously.
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u/filouza Feb 22 '26
I’m with you. The GF definitely reacted poorly but “I kept pushing” and “demand an apology” along with all the other virtue signaling is feel like both parties here could use some time looking in the mirror.
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u/No-Victory819 Feb 22 '26 edited Feb 22 '26
Wait, so you mansplained menstrual shame and social embarrassment to your new girlfriend?!
I can tell you right now that referring to periods as "monthly blood sacrifice" and menstrual products as "monthly ritual battle gear" is so unbelievably crass that I feel embarrassed on your behalf.
What's happened here is that you gave her "the ick" and she can't articulate to you why,but you creeped her out big time and you also creeped me out.
Edit: just to add that you having feminine hygiene products is not in itself creepy. it's thoughtful for sure, but your language and attempt to be cool about it is really off putting. I swear I think I went into menopause just from reading "monthly blood sacrifice" (internally shudders)
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Feb 23 '26
Agreed, the way he worded it is kinda strange, honestly. The sentiment is nice, but it would weird me out too.
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u/GO712 Feb 23 '26
As a man, I would have no issues popping down the shop for someone, but I've never known a period to be such an emergency that I would have a 'period basket' and risk being thought of as a creep with a menstruation fetish. Who could have predicted this eh? Of all the hills to die on, why would you choose this one unless.....
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u/No-Victory819 Feb 23 '26
Right?! Like, he's so intent on providing a "safe space" for women to menstruate in that he's completely bypassed being a nice guy and just becomes patronizing and weird about it. Women don't need his help to manage their periods- they're perfectly capable of carrying their own (preferred brand/variety) of products without him shoving down their throats how chill he is about it.
Also not sure about his assertions of providing safe spaces for women, 'cos the moment a woman actually expressed discomfort about his behavior he lost it, blocked her number and is demanding she apologize. Doesn't seem very safe.
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u/GO712 Feb 23 '26
Indeed. I find his behaviour very creepy and I don't blame her for running for the hills.
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u/No_Engineering_9000 Feb 24 '26
My friends girlfriend got her period in the middle of an event we were at and didn’t have any tampons with her. I keep a box in my car for my fiancée so I gave one to my friends gf. Should I have let her bleed freely instead because “women can manage their periods on their own?” That seems like it would be cruel
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u/Mission-Street-2586 Feb 22 '26 edited Feb 22 '26
NOR. Just quit calling them, “females.” They aren’t female dogs, female hippos, female children (I hope). There is a word for female adult humans, and it’s women. Maybe she’s weirded out by you not being able to call menstruation, “menstruation.” It’s not Voldemort. FYI those definitely aren’t wipes for the toilet and the pads are of different absorbencies. The feminine products are considerate. If you want to work things out, try asking her more about it, but it’s understandable not wanting to.
Edit: I should say, “menstrual products.”
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u/ticklisheo7 Feb 22 '26
He’s not calling them “females”. He said “female DND friends”. Adjective vs noun. “I saw a group of females” 🙅🏽♀️ “I was with my female friends” ✅ OP: you are not in the wrong in the least. I grew up in a culture that heavily shamed menstruation, and where I literally had to hide menstrual products. So many women, including in North America and Europe, seem to be bizarre in this way too, I do not understand it, and I think that your approach is absolutely fine and correct. Also, joking about the period is totally fine, this is just an in group joke. It doesn’t even have to be in group! Can people lighten up. Seriously.
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u/anneofred Feb 22 '26
Oh please, as a woman who menstruates, non of this was in any way offensive or weird. Most of us aren’t clinical about it so why should he be? We can’t have a sense of humor now? It IS battle, I find his terminology far more apt and empathetic than “menstruation”. You need to stop. Dude does something that every dude should be doing and you’re here saying “you’re not doing it right” per your standards which are not the standards of most women or those that wage war every month. Get over yourself.
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u/emtrigg013 Feb 22 '26
This is a prompt, don't worry. They all end the same way: "so, reddit, AIO/AITAH?"
While you're absolutely correct, the original post reeks of a setup.
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Feb 22 '26
...this literally just happened? It's 9:20am here and we had planned for her to leave at 8pm after takeout and I'd drop her home.. was i supposed the to end the post with Kind regards, a Reddit user?
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u/horrorjunkie707 Feb 22 '26
Kind regards, a Reddit user 🤣🤣🤣
Anyway, you seem like a cool guy, and your gf is insecure. NOR!
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u/RealityDesperate496 Feb 22 '26
NOR NTA the last guy I dated said he's never go buy me tampons and that it was up to me to be prepared and if I wasn't prepared that was my problem. It was a really awful response and we weren't together much longer after that. This was a guy who had night terrors that I soothed, lived in a rental situation that was predatory and I helped him find new housing, lost $900 in a scam and I helped him recover... The point is toxic social rules say men have to be grossed out by periods but taken care of by period havers.... You bucked the system and some can't handle the paradigm shift and just blue screen about it *Edited for a typo
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u/Healthy-Grape-777 Feb 22 '26
You’re not overreacting and you’re actually asking her to behave like an adult and you’re not giving into her tantrum so good job. She’ll have to learn to communicate like an adult and grow up a little bit or find a new person to be her boyfriend that will deal with her immaturity.
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u/Megalodon22912 Feb 22 '26
As a woman I don’t think you’re overreacting, she is! How many friends of yours have used that and never said anything about it being weird or creepy? I know you know this but it’s definitely a her problem. I personally wouldn’t think anything of it but she’s overthinking that you have a lot of women coming in and out of your place. Her mind goes to the worst case scenario and clearly she doesn’t have that deep of a connection with you to know it’s nothing bad. She’s probably had something happen in the past that makes her feel insecure but she’s also not mature enough to admit/recognize that. Not all men are like you. I think that if she can come to you apologize and communicate her emotions and why she feels that way she’s a keeper! But otherwise she’s losing out.
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u/Funny_Neck1027 Feb 22 '26
Just tell her you use them as well after a night of heavy drinking and dodgy kebabs. Keeps the farts save...
But yeah count yourself lucky she revealed her self to be a nutter that early on
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u/Ok_Philosophy_7156 Feb 22 '26
You’re 10000000% in the right here and her reaction to it is a massive red flag
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u/jenntasticxx Feb 22 '26
NOR. Keep her blocked. She thinks you're a cheater because you have tampons? She thinks you use them because you have them? She's insecure and stupid.
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u/karleyetc Feb 22 '26
NOR, but did you really mansplain periods being taboo to her? Like, come on, my guy. That's the conversation you have with someone who doesn't actively bleed each month, not the person who's currently actively bleeding. Other than that, cheers for being a decent human.
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u/Candid_Warthog8434 Feb 22 '26
NOR. Cheers to you and others like you who have stuff like that in their bathroom. Several of my friends do it too, both male and female. Makes life easier if you’re visiting
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u/TheRoguePisigit Feb 22 '26
Man, I've had an IUD for so long I don't stock the stuff anymore, and it never dawned on me that it would still be nice to have available for friends. I would definitely call being creeped out by thoughtfulness and responsibility a red flag.
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u/BcBJA Feb 22 '26
Blocking feels dramatic (how could she even apologize if she’s blocked?) buuut I agree there’s no reason to hate on this courtesy you provide your lady friends, and agree it suggests insecurity. Also if she’s questioning that you’ve hooked up with any of these girls also just feels like too much, there’s no trust here, only suspicion and efforts to emasculate you, which was rude/uncalled for. Onto better things/people!!
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u/AnitaIvanaMartini Feb 22 '26
NOR. I think it’s very nice of you to try to accommodate the women in your life. I think her reaction is rather Bronze Age.
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u/Top-Yogurtcloset-597 Feb 22 '26
NOR - This is basically the same as having a bandaids available for guests, it's not weird
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u/FancySchmancy4 Feb 22 '26
A man that has period products in his bathroom for friends and girlfriends is weird?
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u/Adrock66 Feb 23 '26
Ehhhhhh seems weird to me sorry. If I was dating a girl who had 1000 condoms for her "male friends in case they were in a spot" it would be suss. I understand that's not apples to apples but this girl was probably jealous and threatened and didn't want to say as much.
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u/MattNagyisBAD Feb 24 '26
She’s insecure.
That being said, being insecure doesn’t mean she’s a bad person and, frankly, this is not some absurdly ridiculous thing to be insecure over. Honestly, it’s a relatively normal thing to be insecure about for someone who is prone to insecurity.
I think it’s totally normal, and even kind, for you to have tampons available for female guests.
I think her reaction was poor and over the top.
I think your counter-reaction is also poor and over the top.
Yes she owes you an apology, but she is allowed some time to come to the realization.
She likes you, you like her, she reacts poorly, you don’t like it, so you block her and will never speak to her again? So she gets her friends to reach out to you because she now has no method to contact you, and you act like she’s crazy?
Come on dude. Grow up and give her some grace. Yes you are over-reacting.
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u/Due-Lynx-5942 Feb 24 '26
This feels like it was written by someone under the age of 18 with an over active imagination who has a savior complex
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u/miketag8337 Feb 24 '26
Are you overly prepared for all situations life like this? Sounds to me like you’re an over planner which is always great to have in a friends group. Maybe she’s not used to that. I would cut her a break if she apologizes.
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u/Maleficent_Mix8455 Feb 24 '26
I mean at some point in your life that joke will no longer feel suitable when you reach a certain age. Sure she mightve overreacted but I can definitely see how that joke with your friend might rub the wrong way with some girls. You should decide what's more important to you - your pride or letting go of something that imo is very trivial for someone who you actually enjoy spending time with.
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u/Kagenokishi21 Feb 22 '26
Not overrating at all, you’re doing the people in your friend group a service by providing them a way to have an out of a potentially awkward situation. If the girl you’re seeing is “insecure” about you being a good person then I’m not sure what can be done. Don’t sacrifice the people already in your life for someone else coming into it.