I (38m) am a professional comedian who specializes in edgy humor. I was supposed to be a cast member on this popular sketch show back in 2019, but I got fired because apparently straight, white guys aren't allowed to make racist jokes about Chinese people or make homophobic jokes about comedians who aren't as funny as me. Despite getting fired, I've been invited to host a whopping three times so obviously my past isn't as checkered as haters would like to believe.

This last time I hosted, I got in trouble for accidentally saying "fucking." Apparently, I can't read, either, since I made that mistake while my eyes were glued to those cue cards I desperately need. I made sure to apologize at the end of the show because it's a sin in TV business to use explicit language on certain shows at certain times. For some reason, though, people are on my ass for something else I said. Apparently, calling practically naked women in the gym whores is worse than swearing on live television? People are calling me misogynistic, but I was just telling one of the jokes prepped for my monologue. I mean, have you seen those shorts? I'm just a guy who thinks with his dick and not his brain so naturally I want to look at those barely covered asses, but these gym ladies just want to be left alone! The audacity they have!

I have lots of people on the Internet on my side, but there are plenty who want me canceled. Again, I was just telling a joke. AITA?

No direct inspo post, but y'all know what this is about.

Look at this poor heroic angel from r/Antiwork

OP:

I've gotten fired from 2 jobs, about to be 3, because of a sleep disorder I have no control over. I have hypersomnia, which means I sleep far more often than I should. It comes in episodes, and I typically have one episode a month where I sleep between 13-17 hours straight. My current record is 26 hours. I have no control over when this happens, and have no warning that it is going to happen.

That being said, I have missed several full days of work at my current job (like by the time I'm up, the store is closed). I started there before the current manager, and the previous manager was very understanding! This current one however? Not so much. I've missed one shift a month since she has started, and she has now written me up twice for no call no shows. I am 100% going to get fired. She has known about my condition since she got hired, and will not adjust my schedule to something more manageable without a doctor's note. I do not have a medical care team in this area as I just moved here, and none of my previous doctors put my condition as an actual condition. I would have to go through the motions of getting a formal diagnosis (which can easily take more than a year) for her to change my schedule.

I feel like I'm loosing my mind, and I genuinely have no idea what to do so I just wanted to vent.

And I have to beg the question: how am I supposed to call in two hours before my shift if I am sleeping? Because if I was awake two hours before my shift, I would just go in and work my shift.

I feel like I've seen basically this exact same post numerous times. Why is this an AITA trope?

This entire situation has been eating at me since yesterday and I can't for the life of me figure out if and why I'm in the wrong.

So yesterday, I (M12), was asked to paint my aunt's (F48) fence. Well, more like forced to. Here's some context about my aunt: she's extremely particular and controlling. She finds fault in every little thing I do or say, as if she always looks for an opportunity to ground and punish me. I know for a fact that she holds some sort of grudge against me, because she treats my little brother (M9) the exact opposite way. For example, last week, when I dipped my hand in the sugar jar, I got a flogging, but when my brother did it, all he got was a half-hearted lecture and a pinch of the cheek. I know that woman has it out for me and disapproves of everything I do. She's gotten even more vindictive against me lately, because I have been hanging out with some homeless kid my age (his father abandoned him or something) and she thinks he's bad company, but all I see is the luckiest boy in the world who doesn't have to deal with insane adults telling him what to do every other second. If only I were in his place!

On Saturday, my aunt caught me sneaking out of the window in the middle of the night and punished me (as usual). That's how I was stuck painting her goddamn fence in the middle of a Sunday. The fence itself was 30 yards long and 9 feet high. She could've brought 10 grown men to paint that thing and they still wouldn't have finished by the end of the afternoon. To make things worse, across the street from our yard were literally all of my friends from school, playing and enjoying themselves, with me in full view to make fun of. You can imagine how I was feeling by then; anyone would be as humiliated and devastated as I was. I knew for a fact I'd be mocked, and guess what? I was.

I hadn't gotten two strokes of paint in when one of my classmates, let's call him B.R. (M12), came over and started making fun of me. "Hahah! You have to work in broad daylight while we get to run around and play!", he said. And here's where I might be the AH, but let me ask you this, wouldn't you be insulted if you were made fun of like that in front of your peers? So, in my indignity, I started pretending as if painting the fence wasn't just a job, but the most important task in the world. I boasted about what rare type of talent it takes to find a person skilled enough to whitewash a fence. Basically, I gaslit him into thinking I was having the time of my life, and that I was the only boy in the whole village qualified for this task. Well, no offense to him, but B.R. is stupid. He fell for it, and started begging me to let him paint, too. Now, I'm not devious, I felt some shame, so initially I refused, but he insisted! He even offered me his apple in exchange. Well, I was too caught up in the lie by then, and a bit hungry, so I took the apple and let him paint while I sat aside under a tree. After a while, more of our friends came by and tried to talk him out of it, telling him what an idiot he was and what a jerk I was for manipulating him into doing my errands; but I stuck to my bit and convinced them, too, and they joined in to paint with him, sweating and exhausting themselves all the while I didn't lift a finger. Long story short, in two hours the fence had gotten three whole coats. My aunt was ecstatic (I told her I had done it).

I didn't think much of it, until this morning when I went to school. None of my classmates were talking to me. I felt awkward and excluded, so I pried and demanded they tell me what was wrong. That's when all hell broke loose: they had gotten real mad about the whitewashing incident. They said that I was a complete asshole for poking at their self-worth(!), making them feel inferior (!!) and emotionally manipulating them (!!!) into doing my job for me. Something they had asked for, need I remind you! B.R. was in tears, disgusted by my "behavior". They're still giving me the silent treatment.

Am I the AH here? In my eyes, they were literally asking for it. Not my fault they wanted to paint the fence. But I may be wrong.

Not OOP.

Poor buddy just can’t help eating all the chicken!

So obviously a fetish post, if its not then hes horrible because hes jeprodizing her health just to get of; and he calls her gluttonous when HES the one who made her that way

This happened years ago, but it recently got brought up at a family dinner and it caused a huge argument.

My sister had a small wedding with just a few friends and immediate family, and it was a lovely day.

But when I arrived and asked where my nephew was I was told he was at home with a babysitter. I know that child free weddings are more popular nowadays, but for the bride not to bring her own son is insane to me.

To make matters worse this was only a short time after she had adopted him, and he was still getting used to the idea of having a family.

My sister's argument was that he hates crowds, doesn't like strangers, and bites people when he is bored.

While all that may be true, I feel like she could have found a way to include him in the special day, and I can't help but notice that back then he was the only non white member of the family.

I get that he can be a bit energetic, and doesn't always stay still for photos, but he looks amazing in a suit, and it feels wrong to have family photos without him.

My sister says I need to let it go as it's been years, and my nephew doesn't bring it up anymore, but she still hasn't apologised to him.

Am I the arsehole for not letting this go?

AITA for Promoting the Man Instead of the Woman with More Experience?

I am a manager, and I recently had to choose a new team lead. It came down to two people on my team, to keep anonymity, let’s call one of them Mark. The other one's real name is Sarah because who cares about her anonymity.

Sarah has worked here about two and a half years longer than Mark. Her work is very good. She knows how everything works, she never misses deadlines, and when people get stuck, they usually go to her for help. She is even very dynamic in meetings, often guiding the discussion while making sure that everyone at the table has a chance to speak. Based on her record alone, she would probably be the obvious choice. When my boss approved the budget for this position, he even said, "Sarah is the obvious choice for this position, but maybe you should give interviews to a few people so you can help coach them towards their medium-term career goals."

However, Sarah does not dress up often or wear makeup, and she does not seem as "put together" as some of her coworkers. I know some people will say that should not matter. However, the team lead has to attend meetings with other departments and with my bosses, and I believe if that if she is unfortunately a woman, then looking like a Fox News anchor would be a definite plus.

Mark is newer and has less experience. However, he has a penis.

I chose Mark. I believed that a leader needs a penis and needs to look the part, and I thought he could learn the rest on the job.

After I announced my decision, Sarah came to my office and asked why she was not chosen. I told her that she needs to pick a lane: either have a penis or be easy on the eyes. Maybe, just maybe, she could get away with looking the way she does if she were a lesbian, but since I know she has a husband and kids, she just wasn't ready for a promotion.

She was very upset. She said the decision was unfair and that her experience and work history prove she is more qualified. She also said that she's going to talk to an employment lawyer. Things have been tense between us since then.

Part of me believes I made the right decision, because being a leader is just as much about being able to pee standing up as it is about doing good work. Another part of me wonders whether I'm just writing a bullshit story for rage-bait, and whether things like makeup should have mattered at all.

Inspo: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/1x5z0ex/aita_for_promoting_the_man_instead_of_the_woman/

incredible stuff in here