r/AmItheAsshole • u/throwawaydusty6283 • Jan 09 '26
UPDATE Update: AITA mom called me useless so I stopped helping
Hi again reddit. I posted about 2 years ago, and wanted to update you all. Link can be found here.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/FwgoWO6dCE
Thank you to everyone who commented on my original post. The kindness and view points from strangers on the internet helped me more than I ever expected.
After I stopped helping out with the house, I reached out to my university’s student support services for advice. They helped me get a part-time job at the student help desk, which gave me a bit of financial breathing room. Around the same time, I broke up with my boyfriend.
Meanwhile, my older brothers (now 25 & 24) continued to do nothing to help. I went back to driving my younger siblings (now 17F & 14M) to school, not because I gave in, but because I genuinely care about their futures.
The breaking point came when my mom tried to get my aunt (her younger sister) involved by painting me as a disrespectful daughter. I didn’t know how my aunt would react since they’ve always been close but, I ended up telling my aunt the truth. To my surprise, she was horrified. She opened up about how she and my mom were treated pretty much the same way by my grandparents and when they moved to Australia together they talked about not raising their kids that way. My aunt offered to take me and my two younger siblings in as she has no kids. Now I live with my aunt. It’s an hour drive to uni, but the peace is worth it.
One of the best things I’ve done for myself is start therapy. It’s expensive, so I can only afford a session once a month, but it’s already doing wonders.
As for my little siblings, they’re doing better. They keep their rooms tidy, they help with cooking, and they’re both incredibly respectful to our aunt. My brother isn’t relying on my sister anymore, and my sister is finally starting to stand up for herself. I’ve been reminding her not to let anyone, especially our mom push her around the way I was. My siblings moved schools to one that’s within walking distance and they haven’t missed any days.
Recently, my brother (then 17, now 19) reached out to me and apologised for everything. He said he knew it was wrong how I was being treated but at the time it didn’t affect him so he didn’t think about it too much. We had a proper conversation over the phone and things seem to be okay between us. He told me he was planning on moving out to live with a friend since our mother had started lashing out at him and forcing him to do the house chores I used to do.
As for me, I graduated uni. My aunt and younger siblings came to my ceremony. I didn’t brother messaging my mom to let her know. I’ve already been accepted into a graduate RN program at the hospital where I did my last placement. I’m super excited to start and finally get my life on track. For once, I feel like my life is actually moving in a direction I chose.
2.5k
u/Every-Pepper77 Partassipant [1] Jan 09 '26
Congratulations! You took a bad situation, refused to let it diminish your life and your potential, and now you have a present and future that are worthy of you. You are awesome!
910
63
-402
Jan 09 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
165
u/JeffSpicolisVan Partassipant [2] Jan 09 '26
guess being treated like trash builds character who knew anyway good for her i guess or whatever
Gee, Christiineexx. You must be an absolute delight to be with in any sort of relationship.
/s because despite it being 2026, we still do not have a a sarcasm font. :D
158
46
u/Threadheads Partassipant [3] Jan 09 '26
Dealing with an adversarial situation and standing up for yourself does build character.
1.4k
u/MithosYggdrasill1992 Jan 09 '26
I did notice that your brother only apologized after he was treated as you were, despite admitting he knew how bad it was before. A verbal apology is not enough in my opinion. He needs to show you that he’s sorry, do something genuinely nice for you.
830
u/JeffSpicolisVan Partassipant [2] Jan 09 '26
I did notice that your brother only apologized after he was treated as you were, despite admitting he knew how bad it was before. A verbal apology is not enough in my opinion. He needs to show you that he’s sorry, do something genuinely nice for you.
I clocked that as well. Hopefully, he more than makes up for it, and doesn't treat any partners like that in the future.
647
u/2dogslife Asshole Aficionado [16] Jan 09 '26
Teens are often blinded by their own self interests, it's not surprising he had to grow (an be imposed upon), before he finally "got it."
Maybe it means he won't perpetuate the gender stereotypes and will grow up to be a better partner.
106
u/foshayzy Jan 10 '26
He could also face backlash if he tried speaking up for her, leading him to take the safe route of not thinking about it.
3
u/GodivaPlaistow Jan 24 '26
Wait, wasn’t this one of the two older brothers with full time jobs who used to pee on the bathroom floor and not clean it up?
12
u/2dogslife Asshole Aficionado [16] Jan 25 '26
This was the brother just after OP, so not one of the eldest two.
2
48
u/MithosYggdrasill1992 Jan 10 '26
Agreed. I’m not saying he’s a bad person or anything, but with him, realizing even before she left that it was shitty, but not speaking up only because he didn’t want to have to do chores, puts a bit of a dullness on his apology. That the only reason he’s even leaving is because now he has to do them. I genuinely hope that this was a true apology and they’re able to foster a healthy relationship going forward, but it does make me kind of side eye a bit.
It must be because I have narcissistic family, but I’d be a little bit sus that he isn’t spying for Mom.
19
u/JeffSpicolisVan Partassipant [2] Jan 10 '26
but not speaking up only because he didn’t want to have to do chores, puts a bit of a dullness on his apology.
That was my thinking as well.
I genuinely hope that this was a true apology and they’re able to foster a healthy relationship going forward, but it does make me kind of side eye a bit.
Agreed on both counts. :)
It must be because I have narcissistic family, but I’d be a little bit sus that he isn’t spying for Mom.
Ah, I see our families are similar then because I had this thought as well. :)
5
u/MithosYggdrasill1992 Jan 10 '26
I hope that you are doing better far away from them. I get why a lot of people don’t agree with my way of thinking, and I’m happy that they don’t have my life experiences to bring them down during times of sadness. Best wishes and may you have a fantastic new year!
2
u/JeffSpicolisVan Partassipant [2] Jan 10 '26
I get why a lot of people don’t agree with my way of thinking, and I’m happy that they don’t have my life experiences to bring them down during times of sadness.
I get it as well. It's hard to think that family does things like this and it's quite difficult for some folks to wrap their heads around it.
I am doing so well that if I do any better, the government would try and tax me on it. :P
Best wishes and may you have a fantastic new year!
And the same to you! <3
5
537
u/redmeansstop Jan 09 '26
Teenagers are often mostly worried about themselves. He isn't asking her for money or to move in and have her take care of him, instead he let her know he is moving somewhere else and that he was able to understand how she was treated. He could have been further radicalized and believe OP was the one in the wrong for leaving. All the evidence points to him being sincere.
519
u/throwawaydusty6283 Jan 10 '26
I agree with this comment. I don’t think he was malicious in any way but Ive notice that if something doesn’t bother him directly, he’ll ignore it. He’s been in contact with me more recently and he visits my aunts place every now and then for dinner. He’s become a completely different person since planning to move out with his friend and he’s mentioned that he’s planning to go to therapy which I’m really happy for him
150
u/foshayzy Jan 10 '26
Your mother was abusive. His response was textbook. His growth shows his character.
43
u/Malphas43 Partassipant [4] Jan 10 '26
so basically, your two younger brothers are the only brothers who seem to have any hope of healthy future relationships.
28
16
219
u/backupbitches Asshole Enthusiast [6] Jan 09 '26
I mean, he's 17. I actually think it's pretty impressive that he has that awareness at this age all by himself, it would have been very easy for him to have been brainwashed and poisoned against OP entirely.
64
u/MithosYggdrasill1992 Jan 09 '26
He was 17 when it happened, he’s 19 now. But even he admitted he knew it was shitty at the time. He just didn’t want to do work himself. That’s why I feel like it was shitty, and he could do something nice for her.
88
u/Nymph-the-scribe Jan 10 '26
Recognizing what you did wrong is the first step. The difference (mentally) between 17 and 19 isn't much. The fact he knew, or thought he knew, how shitty op was being treated and did nothing isn't great, but again, at the same time, what was he supposed to do? He was and is still a child (you can argue chronological age all you want but almost everyone is still a child at those ages, they just don't realize and accept it until they get way older). You can't expect adult behavior out of a child. You can't expect functional, compassionate, and caring behavior out of someone who doesn't have that example from parents/parental figures. There's also a big difference between knowing someone isn't being treated right because you see it and knowing someone isn't being treated right because you experience it and now know the internal part of it. It's like when people say, "If someone did this to me/if I was in this position, i wouldn't do X, I would do Z. It's a no duh easy thing to see. Z is the right thing to do." Then the person experiences the thing, and they don't do X. They do Z and later go."Oh, I get it now." It happens a lot when it comes to abuse of any kind to any degree
How his ongoing actions support what he said is what's going to really matter. He probably will still be a little self-centered for a few more years, but that's just part of the age range. He has a better understanding of w h at op and went through now, and the bot of them can use that to stewngrhen their relationship.
128
u/Altyrmadiken Partassipant [1] Jan 10 '26
No, just not. No to all of this.
Older brother apologized, admitted their mistakes, and their failures on a personal level that, be honest, most of us wouldn’t, and OP accepted it.
That’s it. It’s done.
An apology made in earnest, with real respect and admittance, is a higher bar than many of us get. It’s not up to anyone but OP to decide how much is “enough.” He made the apology when he’d learned the truth, admitted he don’t know before, and admitted he didn’t before about it enough, and that he was genuinely sorry.
An apology is complicated. Forgiveness is for the one who’s wronged, it’s about letting go. No matter how sorry you are, you don’t deserve forgiveness. However, no matter what level of sorry someone is towards you, it’s up to you to decide to let go and forgive
If OP is good with the apology, that’s the end of it.
3
u/MithosYggdrasill1992 Jan 12 '26
Except your comments are wrong. He didn’t make the apology when he learned of it, he admitted he’d known the whole time. He apologized because he was leaving because he was now going through the same thing. You can disagree with me, that’s fine, but keep the facts straight.
36
u/RugTumpington Jan 10 '26
That's literally something OP says her brother told her in his apology. Insincere people don't typically have an incisive apology which addresses the grievance.
27
17
u/RasaraMoon Jan 10 '26
He was 17. He had a lot of growing up to do. It's not unusual for teens to not understand how bad a problem they were raised with is until it starts to affect them personally. The fact that he noticed at all is progress for him.
4
u/Key_Charity9484 Jan 12 '26
Well to be fair to the then 17 yo boy, he was a 17 yo boy at the time. This insight came 2 years later, and he was most likely suffering some abuse as well. He apologized, but it's not up to him to make up for his mother's abuse of his sister. It is on him to maintain a good relationship with his sister moving forward (as it is OPs responsibility to maintain that relationship with him).
-8
u/CackleberryOmelettes Jan 10 '26
This is how most people in the world are. Children get a pass, because they're children.
896
350
Jan 09 '26
[deleted]
66
u/throwawaydusty6283 Jan 10 '26
So glad to hear you made it out! Wishing nothing but the best for you and your future
61
u/ubottles65 Jan 09 '26
I know I'm just some rando from the void, but I sincerely hope you are doing well.
109
u/TitaniaT-Rex Asshole Aficionado [10] Jan 09 '26
That’s wonderful! I’m so glad you spoke to your aunt and she stepped in to help. Congrats on entering the RN program!
I know you’ve graduated now, but universities where I live (USA) often offer therapy. I was able to do both group and individual therapy at my university. Check with the RN program to see if anything similar is offered. Things may be different on the opposite side of the world, but they may have reduced fees or some other savings program. It doesn’t hurt to check!
128
u/throwawaydusty6283 Jan 10 '26
The hospital offers a few free therapy sessions which I’m going to look into once I start my grad program next month. Thank you so much’
15
u/Ellanever Jan 10 '26
Grats on getting a graduate placement. Those can be difficult to get, well done!
13
u/ClassyCrafter Jan 10 '26
Just want to add your grad school might also have a number of free therapy sessions as well along with a discounted rate if you're on student insurance once you've used all the freebies.
73
u/jbarneswilson Partassipant [3] Jan 09 '26
i’m so happy for you and your younger siblings. thank you for sharing this update with us. i wish you peace and happiness.
48
u/DisneyBuckeye Supreme Court Just-ass [149] Jan 09 '26
I'm so happy for you!
It's kind of interesting. Because when people grow up in a traumatic situation, they tend to either emulate as they get older or go in the exact opposite direction. It's sad that your mom wasn't able to break that cycle, but I'm very glad that your aunt provided you and your siblings with a safe place to grow up.
53
u/Truebeliever-14 Partassipant [1] Jan 09 '26
I’m so glad you took charge of your life, things are looking up!
34
u/Otherwise_Chemist920 Jan 09 '26
Parentification is abuse. You were paying to be that woman’s slave.
Your mother should be caring for the gaggle of kids she popped out, not dumping all her responsibilities on specifically the oldest female child.
I hope your aunt goes after her for child support.
29
u/TurbulentRoof7538 Jan 09 '26
You, your aunt, and your younger siblings are awesome! Even your brother (19M) seems like he is growing. Fantastic! I am so happy for you all!!!
29
u/Daffodils28 Partassipant [1] Jan 09 '26
Congratulations on all your successes!
You’re a role model and a hero!
🎉💐🎉💐🎉💐🎉💐🎉💐🎉💐🎉
21
u/BefuddledPolydactyls Partassipant [1] Jan 09 '26
I'm glad you all are moving forward. I'm a bit shocked your mom let you all go to your aunt's - it didn't seem she was concerned with what was best for you all.
67
u/throwawaydusty6283 Jan 10 '26
It was actually a huge battle. She only let us move in with our aunt because she threatened to get the authorise involved. My siblings had missed a lot of school and the house was a mess so my mom agreed but tried to tell the entire family my aunt was turning us against her
11
u/Spiritual-Boat6949 Jan 11 '26
Is your aunt doing well? I hope your mother’s lies didn’t affect the way family treated her. Your mom is an awful person to do that. And she’s aware of how awful she is.
I’m glad you and your younger siblings are doing well. And wishing your 19 y/o brother the best!
19
10
u/Tessa_Hartlee Jan 10 '26
This random internet stranger is so proud of you for taking the really hard steps to break the cycle not just for yourself, but also for your sister and youngest brother. And by the sounds of it, your 2nd youngest brother too.
Give a big hug to your aunt for stepping up to help you all out. Taking on caring for young adults/teenagers must've been a mammoth pivot in her life and it shouldn't be overlooked how much her efforts have/will help you all to go forward on a different, better path.
Congrats on getting into the Grad RN program. It's such a valuable program to help you start your nursing career. They must've been very impressed with your skills in your last placement so well done you!
If I may, this old chook would like to pass on a few life lessons:
Putting yourself at the centre of all your decisions is not selfish, it's self-FULL. As girls/women we're taught our needs/wishes don't matter, but that's just bullshit. Don't pretzel yourself just to keep others happy. It's a good thing to choose yourself first, even if that means others dont get what they want/need. When rescuing a drowning person you have to keep yourself out of reach if they're likely to drag you under & drown you too. You can only help others if you've first keep yourself physically safe, emotionally safe, financially safe. Fill your cup first.
Listen to how people respond to you saying "no" for the very first time. If they can't accept your autonomy (that you have a brain & can decide for yourself) and try to coerce you into doing what they want (sulk, yell, argue, try to manipulate your emotions, insult, intimidate, get physical, etc.), 🚩HEAR that and know they are not good people to be involved with. This applies to family, friends, work colleagues, everyone. When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE them.
You do not have to explain yourself to anyone. You don't have to justify your decisions or choices. If it feels right with you, that's enough of a reason. People often want to know "why" so they can try to manipulate you to change to what they want. If you can't cover a shift, saying "no, I can't" is enough. You don't need to say "because I have this on", or "I need to do that". Your reasons are irrelevant.
Trust your gut. Your intuition has been built from years of experience and knowledge that your conscious mind has forgotten. Girls/women are taught to ignore our intuition because we're supposed to be good girls (always be polite, prioritise keeping others happy & accommodating their needs above our worries or concerns). But that often keeps us unsafe. Be "rude". Don't talk yourself into something your gut doesn't like.
Live your life for you. Don't subjugate your dreams and plans for a partner/friend/family. If they truly love and value you as the unique individual you are, they will work to help you achieve your dreams, not make it harder, not try and stop you because it doesn't fit their plans for their life. You will change and grow. It's good to let go of old friendships that you recognise are no longer healthy for you. Cutting off toxic family members that won't do the work to change and grow and remain unsafe is self supporting. It's okay to choose yourself and move on from a relationship that's dragging you down.
Ongoing therapy can be the best gift to yourself. I 100% recommend when you can afford it. For me it has always been a safe space to be able to say what I'm feeling without threat of it being weaponised against me. It's space outside family/relationship/work dynamics where I can speak to someone who only has my best interests at heart.
This got longer than I expected! All this to say I wish you the best for your future life.
11
u/Malphas43 Partassipant [4] Jan 10 '26
I saw in a comment on the last post that you hadn't reached out to anyone except your boyfriend because you were raised in a culture where family issues stay in the family- the reason for this is because it allows the abusers to stay in control and maintain power.
Your mom took this a step further- she didn't just raise you to keep things "in the family" she conditioned you to keep things "in the household." Which is why your aunt knew absolutely nothing about this until you told her, even though she and your mom are close. Mom didn't tell her the truth because she KNEW her sister wouldn't agree with her. Your mom knew she was wrong. She always knew she was wrong. She just didn't care.
I'm glad you and your younger sibs are in a healthier and more stable environment. Your aunt sounds great, and I'm happy your one brother is making progress on his own journey. What about your other brothers? Do you know anything about them?
I'm so happy for you and proud that you advocated for yourself. Check with your uni again- they might have mental health services that could help you with therapy/counselling (but that would also mean changing therapists and less choice of who you see.)
9
10
u/Peach-Pair Jan 09 '26
So glad to hear you are doing well! If you haven't already, please go to your GP to get a mental health plan. This allows you to get 6-12 free or discounted therapy sessions at the psychologist of your choosing. Congratulations on finishing your degree. It sounds like you will be an incredible nurse. Hopefully your HECS debt isnt too high.
10
u/Pippet_4 Partassipant [1] Jan 09 '26
Congratulations on the new position and graduating! I’m so happy you are doing so much better and in a healthier home.
8
6
u/GrouchySteam Asshole Enthusiast [6] Jan 09 '26
Such an heartwarming update- thanks for it.
Wishing you a brighter future than the Australian sun ☀️
9
u/TheUrbanBunny Jan 09 '26
Op!
I remember you. I'm glad you were able to mold your own fate.
You saved your siblings and maintained you. It wasn't your obligation but you handled the burden with such grace and love.
I'm so proud of you. You're going to be an amazing nurse. The very person you needed to find.
5
u/Midiusa Asshole Aficionado [14] Jan 09 '26
Glad you left that all behind. And so happy your aunt believed you and did step up. Too bad your mom hasn't learned anything.
5
u/happycharm Partassipant [1] Jan 10 '26
He said he knew it was wrong how I was being treated but at the time it didn’t affect him so he didn’t think about it too much. We had a proper conversation over the phone and things seem to be okay between us. He told me he was planning on moving out to live with a friend since our mother had started lashing out at him and forcing him to do the house chores I used to do.
Damn, thats almost like me except my siblings never apologized and still downplayed my experience. They allude that they noticed I was being parentified and treated like garbage but won't fully admit it yet do complain that they have to pick up the slack after I left. The whole family keeps telling me to move back and I can "live in the basement" yet they expect me to emerge from there to do all the chores. By the way I'm in my mid 30's, am married, have children, and live in another continent! So they want me to drop my family, move into their basement and become their servant? Lmao, what a deal. Mind you, I have an older brother who still lives at home and he does fuck all.
3
3
3
2
2
u/SolidAshford Partassipant [3] Jan 09 '26
I'm glad t he 19 yo brother started seeing his Mom's toxic behavior. Congratulations on the RN Program and I hope you continue to be awesome!
2
u/platypusaurusrex Jan 09 '26
I’m really proud of you and I am so excited for you as you start your life!
2
u/CloverClover97 Asshole Enthusiast [6] Jan 09 '26
Reach out to your uni and see if they can offer you free counseling or therapy. Most do these days!
2
u/ViperSlayer261 Jan 09 '26
I’m so glad everything turned out ok, hopefully your older siblings will be able to take back their lives as well!
2
u/SpiritedLettuce6900 Partassipant [3] | Bot Hunter [29] Jan 09 '26
Updates like this one warm my cold, cold heart and give me hope for the future. You got out of a situation designed to crush you into servitude and gained control over your future. Well done!
2
u/Kip_Schtum Jan 09 '26
Congratulations! 👩🏻🎓
I feel sorry for whoever gets stuck with your layabout older brothers! Good job not letting your mom turn you into a servant.
2
u/howarewestillhere Jan 10 '26
Nice work OP. I hope your brother makes it out soon. Your mom is a future “I don’t know why my ungrateful kids won’t talk to me anymore” parent.
Maybe her sister can help her see, maybe not. Admitting this kind of behavior and its effects is not something most can do.
2
u/SquisharooNTimbuk2 Jan 10 '26
What a wonderful update! It’s so great to know that out there in this world there’s a little family who seems to be thriving! And it’s all because you spoke up for yourself and your siblings- good job🥰
2
u/Asura_b Jan 10 '26
I'm so proud of you!!! What you did was really hard, scary, and brave. Remember that when life tries to come at you again. You can do hard things and there's always a solution that will make your life better. Keep going, never give up, don't let anything/anyone take your joy, and good luck with everything!
2
u/foshayzy Jan 10 '26
You are so impressive, I hope your story can inspire others! Never forget your aunt, breaking generational trauma and taking in 3 kids
1
1
1
u/Svooi Jan 09 '26
Congratulations OP! You've done a great job! It's always nice to read such stories
1
u/jsponenberg05 Jan 09 '26
Good to hear that everything got better after your incident that was told in your story!
1
u/SusanMShwartz Partassipant [1] Jan 09 '26
Congratulations on how your snd your brothers’ lives are turning around and on your graduation! Bless your aunt!
1
u/tango421 Partassipant [1] Jan 09 '26
Happy to hear life’s better for you and your sibs. Kudos to your aunt.
1
u/lavender_poppy Partassipant [3] Jan 09 '26
That's wonderful OP. I'm so glad things worked out for you.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/LucidOutwork Professor Emeritass [80] Jan 09 '26
I'm really happy for you! Well done! So glad your Aunt stepped in and gave you and your younger siblings a safe and sane place to live.
1
u/Emotional-Jicama3644 Jan 09 '26
I don’t even know you, but I’ve just got goosebumps. Genuinely so proud of you, OP!
1
1
1
u/Time-Tie-231 Certified Proctologist [20] Jan 10 '26
Thank you so much for the update. Lovely to hear how well you are doing.
Many congratulations on all your achievements, not least coping with all these big changes.
If you can manage change, you can manage life. The future is yours!
1
u/calamari_9 Jan 10 '26
OP, you have shown more resilience, grit and diplomacy in your youth than I've seen in folks twice your age. Congratulations on your graduation and well done for staying on the course. Good things come to those who wait.
Best of luck for the future!
1
u/MabsMessenger Partassipant [3] Jan 10 '26
You are an inspiration! May your life today and in the future be long, blessed, and fulfilling.
1
u/metta4u67 Jan 10 '26
This is the best use of tge internet I have ever heard! Congratulations OP for doing so well at school, and not leaving your younger siblings behind.
Growing up in such a difficult environment with an abusive mother is so hard. It will likely inform you well as an RN. That is a job where empathy, strong boundaries and curiosity about other possibilities will take you far.
1
u/Pookie1688 Jan 10 '26
What a wonderful new chapter in your life! You were brave to tell your aunt what was happening, & she is a hero for taking in you & your younger siblings.
Your relationship with your older brother sounds much better now that he understands what you went through, & it's hopeful he wants to get some therapy as you have.
Congratulations on getting into the RN program! I am wishing you & your siblings much success.
1
1
u/StumblinStephen Jan 10 '26
I love a happy ending. Best of luck, you got a bright future ahead of you.
1
1
Jan 10 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/ElectricMayhem123 Womp (there it ass) Jan 10 '26
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: Be Civil. Further incidents may result in a ban.
"How does my comment break Rule 1?"
Message the mods if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/Sevalisa Partassipant [2] Jan 10 '26
I'm so glad things worked out for you.
If you're struggling with mental health payments, the government offers 10 free visits a year with a referral from your GP. Definitely worth it! I've used it myself a lot.
There are usually providers who will sometimes also offer student discounts so would be worth checking into.
1
u/filmfan2 Jan 10 '26
it's a tough lesson but sometimes we have to distance ourselves from the ones that are only harming us (even if they are family).
1
1
u/Wild_Butterscotch977 Asshole Enthusiast [8] Jan 10 '26
I remember your post!! So glad you found your way out of that awful situation. Congratulations on graduating and getting into the RN program! You clearly overcame a lot to get where you are now and should be very proud of yourself.
1
u/PinkPandaHumor Jan 10 '26
So proud of you! Great job taking care of yourself! Your aunt sounds amazing too!
1
u/internalgodzillaamba Jan 10 '26
Brilliant job taking control of your life. Seeking help, moving to a supportive environment, and prioritising your well-being shows remarkable strength. Graduation and pursuing a nursing career? Outstanding! Your story proves you can rise above challenging circumstances. Keep pushing forward; you're on the path to success now. Stay focused and don't look back.
1
u/thanos_is_bacc Jan 10 '26
Congratulations! I'm so happy everything's working out now! :D Wishing you all the best for your future!
1
u/seetafty Jan 10 '26
Truly such a lovely update - go get the world and life you deserve!! Best of luck!
1
u/MattiasCrowe Jan 10 '26
Don't tell your mom about your employment. She will demand money from you. Just remember some parents are like this but we don't have to be. I'm so proud of you for forging forward and changing things for your younger siblings.
1
1
1
u/AcrobaticNet6819 Jan 10 '26
INFO So there's one brother left woth your mother or have I missed something and she is all alone now?
Awesome update btw. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you all.
1
u/Longjumping-Sail-763 Jan 10 '26
Wishing you all the best. Congratulations on graduating and gaining a place on the RN graduate programme.
You've reminded me of why it's so important to be a kind, supportive aunt to my little niece. ❤️
Well done for building a situation where you and your little siblings have the opportunity to thrive.
1
1
1
1
u/Jstarr21383 Partassipant [1] Jan 10 '26
Congratulations! I’m so happy to read this update and to see that you and your younger siblings are thriving. This internet stranger is proud of you for breaking the cycle and coming out on top. Good luck with the program and your future ❤️
1
1
u/Theedz1 Jan 10 '26
That’s an awesome update and well done! Has your mom tried to reach out at all?
1
1
u/3970 Partassipant [3] Jan 10 '26
I'm very glad that things are going for the better for you and your younger siblings! Your auntie is great! Super happy she was able to step in.
1
1
u/Overall-Magician-884 Jan 10 '26
OP, you are incredible as well as your aunt. You’re setting a great example for your younger siblings, especially your sister. She could have easily been stuck in the situation you were in. Congratulations on getting your degree!
1
u/AuntieCousin Jan 10 '26
I am so proud of you! From what you have shared, you are an amazing person and I am so glad that you were able to get out of that house and put some distance between your family of origin. Keep up with the therapy, especially if you've found a good therapist and it is working for you.
I'm an Auntie (hence the username) to the related and non-related just the same, so it warms my heart that you have a loving, caring aunt in your life. Hug your aunt every day, I'm sure she would appreciate it.
1
u/mindymadmadmad Jan 10 '26
That's great! I'm happy things are going well for you and your younger sibs.
1
u/opelan Partassipant [1] Jan 10 '26
I remember your old post. Great that everything worked out well in the end!
1
1
1
u/SignSteele Jan 11 '26
Congrats! You have also modeled not being taken advantage of by others for your younger sister, which is worth quite a bit.
1
u/ElectricalGeneral721 Partassipant [2] Jan 12 '26
The fairy tale happy ending you so richly deserve! Best wishes for your future!
1
u/Stoic_STFU Partassipant [1] Jan 12 '26
Congratulations you brilliant young lady. May all good things come to you!
1
1
u/Spare_Ad5009 Pooperintendant [62] Jan 13 '26
I am so happy for you! And happy that the REDDit advice really changed your life and the lives of your siblings.
1
1
u/Top_Philosopher1809 Jan 14 '26
Congratulations and best of luck to you and your siblings. I’m glad you had your aunt to help you and your younger siblings.
1
u/ThinkPace1936 Jan 16 '26
Your story really really touched me sis I am unbelievably proud of you!❤️
1
u/HealthyTrip4055 Jan 16 '26
Wonder why your mom is single? Lol sorry im an asshole too. But wow your mom sounds horrible. Good for you for getting out of that situation.
1
1
u/AllIzLost Jan 16 '26
Brother admitted it AND opened up the conversation. He is just only. Now figuring his way thru it all . Your example of success is what I believe he needed to see to share loose and try getting out ! Glad you were able to open up and aunti able to go above expected . And thank you for updating !! So many times we never hear the end result
1
u/Complex-Cut-5563 Partassipant [1] Jan 16 '26
What an excellent update. I'm really proud of you OP. You did great. Congratulations on graduation and starting your life.
1
u/pretty_okay_0613 Jan 16 '26
U sound like ur doing amazing since ur update-- ik it's a mixed bag, but still. Congratulations on your graduation and soon-to-be graduate program. I wish u nothing but future greatness and peace.
1
1
u/Some_evidence7655 Partassipant [1] Jan 20 '26
congratulations on completing your undergrad degree and moving on to an RN program! That’s a big accomplishment. You sound like a young woman who is motivated to do very well in life personally and professionally. Best of luck with everything. ❤️
1
1
u/IceBlue Feb 24 '26
Has your mom talked about why she perpetuated the abuse she got from her parents despite talking about not doing so when she was younger?
1
u/wartwelem Feb 27 '26
I am so glad that you are doing well. It is great that your aunt has stepped up to help you out. Congratulations on graduating and getting accepted to the graduate program. You have a great head on your shoulders. This internet mom is proud of you!
1
1
u/headoftheasylum Partassipant [1] Mar 01 '26
BRAVO! Girl, you are amazing! You knew your worth and you stood up for yourself and your younger siblings. You saved their future while saving your own. And now you are in a profession that pays well, which means you will never have to depend on anyone else again. And your younger siblings see you and know that they can do the same. They also know that you put them first, you chose them and their future, that your love is not dependent upon them doing something for you, like the dishes. Hug your aunt and always hold her close, she is good people.
-1
Jan 10 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/Farvas-Cola ASSistant Manager - Shenanigan's Jan 10 '26
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: Be Civil. Further incidents may result in a ban.
"How does my comment break Rule 1?"
Message the mods if you have any questions or concerns.
-7
u/B4cteria Jan 10 '26
I am just really annoyed at the younger sibling who saw, knew yet did nothing and immediately made a plan to bolt the second he had a mere lick of what she went through. He had a little chat about it and now they're good? I'd hold grudges.
25
u/throwawaydusty6283 Jan 10 '26
I understand where you’re coming from but we were raised to think this treatment towards girls was normal. This was the only normal he saw so I can’t be too mad at him. He’s also taking the steps to become a better person and process exactly what our mom put us through with therapy. I hope our relationship can improve
3.5k
u/Ordinary-Audience363 Colo-rectal Surgeon [31] Jan 09 '26
Glad things worked out so well for you and your siblings.