I love my job and my team, but in the past six months by direct team of 12 people have came up with this concept where we all pitch in to have a homemade meal together for an hour out of our workday. It serves as kind of a team builder and we get to eat lunch together.

In the past, the pitch-in amount was around $12, which felt manageable. However, the most recent one jumped to $20.

While the lunch is technically framed as "optional," 100% of the team participates, meaning if I don't go, it’s very noticeable. People ask why I'm not there, and it creates an awkward social dynamic. To say I don't care what others think of me would be naive, there's a reason I'm posting here in the first place. However, I did say no to this and the interaction is over.

To give some context: I am currently supporting a family (wife and child), money is extremely tight right now and I am very particular about the income I do have being allocated as efficiently as possible. If I buy myself lunch while at work, which isn't often, I'm spending 5-6 dollars maximum on myself .I never spend $20 on food for myself outside of work, let alone for work.

I have real life things that I need to allocate that $20 to.

Do you all give into peer or social pressure and just pay up to avoid my situation, or stand your ground and say fuck it? I'm taking the second option.

I'm a 20F college student, and I have a friend, N (21F). She has a habit of making comments about my weight.

For context, I'm not thin. I'm also not someone who can't take a joke, but there's a difference between joking with someone and making them the designated fat friend of the group.

N has been calling me fat eversince I met her. Sometimes it's relatively harmless stuff, like making comments about what I'm eating. Other times, she'll point out my stomach in pictures, tell me certain outfits don't suit my body, or make jokes about how I should probably skip dessert.

The worst part is that she does this in front of other people. If we're out with classmates and someone offers to share food with me, she'll say something like, "Girl, you really don't need that."

I've told her to cease this several times. She always responds with some sort of "I'm just joking," or "You're too sensitive"

The rest of our friend group mostly laughs it off. Nobody ever says anything when she does it.

Now, N has recently developed a godzilla sized crush on K (21M). She's been trying to get his attention for weeks. She's constantly talking about him (extremely irritating, mind you), asking him if her new haircut is good, and finding excuses to sit next to him.

Last Friday, a bunch of us were sitting together in the cafeteria, including K. N was talking about how she wanted to wear a particular dress to an upcoming college fest but wasn't sure if it looked good on her.

Someone asked to see a picture of it, and she showed us.

K said it looked nice on her.

N immediately turned to me and said, "Where do you think you'll buy a dress? I don't think they have your size in normal stores." (For context I am a size 10 or L)

Everyone laughed a little.

Then I said, "At least I can fill out a dress. You look like a highway with hair."

The table went completely silent.

Even K awkwardly looked away, trying not to smile.

N looked absolutely humiliated and didn't say another word for the rest of lunch.

Later, she texted me saying I was a disgusting person for body-shaming her in front of someone she liked. She said she'd never been so humiliated in her life and that I knew she was insecure about her chest and body hair.

I told her that perhaps now she understood how I felt.

It could have ended right there. But later that night, K texted me saying it was extremely satisfying to see N humiliated that way, after all the nonsense she pulls. It was normal platonic text, that I fleetingly mentioned to N's roommate, R.

But in a fight with N, R inflated the whole thing and used it against her (I'm not sure how, as of yet). The whole friend group is pretty conflicted and some people blame me for starting the whole fiasco.

AITA?

I’m 19 and still studying. My dad has always paid for my expenses, and I’ve never pretended otherwise. I’m fortunate to have a father who genuinely wants to provide for me, and I’ve never taken that for granted.

My aunt, however, has made it her personal mission to constantly remind me that I’m financially dependent on him probably till the day I die.

Every family gathering comes with comments about how spoiled I am and how people my age are already working while I’m still being funded by my dad. If I buy something nice, she asks how much of his money it cost. If I vocalise any problems in my personal life, she says I don’t know what real hardship looks like.

I usually brush or laugh it off because defending myself somehow makes me look even more entitled.

Last weekend, we were having dinner with relatives when someone asked what I planned to do after graduating. Before I could answer, my aunt laughed and said,

“Not everyone has the talent or drive to make it on their own. One’s parents can only keep them comfortable for so long.”

Everyone just laughed awkwardly. I smiled because I genuinely didn’t know what else to do.

She then started talking about how proud she was that one of our relatives’ children didn’t need to ask anyone for money. Looking directly at me, she added, “It’s shameful to be your age and still have your father paying for everything.”

I finally asked why she was so obsessed with my finances when my dad had never once complained about supporting me.

She replied, “Because one day he’ll be gone, and then what? You can’t spend your whole life being someone else’s responsibility.”

I went quiet. Not because I agreed with her, but because losing my dad is something I already struggle to think about, and she’d just used that fear to humiliate me in front of everyone.

I told her I knew how fortunate I was, but my father had willingly and wholeheartedly chosen to support me while I studied. Why did she keep treating his generosity as something shameful?

She said I was proving how spoiled I was by getting offended whenever someone told me the truth.

I snapped and told her I hoped her children never felt they had to earn the right to be loved by her by how financially dependent they were on someone else, and I’d never understand why she was so determined to make me feel worthless over something my own father was more then happy to do.

She called me disrespectful, and a few relatives agreed I’d crossed a line.

What hurts most is that my dad wasn’t even there. He works hard, and I know how much he’s sacrificed for me. I’m working towards a future where I can support myself, but sometimes I already feel guilty that I can’t give him back everything he’s given me. I don’t need my family turning that guilt into a reason to humiliate or guilt trip me.

I know I’m privileged. I know others my age have responsibilities I don’t. But does that mean I deserve to be treated as less capable or worthy because my father can afford to help me? AITA?

My bf and I woke up at 6:30 am to our fire alarm going off for about 45 seconds and we smelled smoke. As a precaution, we went outside. There was no commotion but I decided to call 911 just in case it was a real concern and there was something burning we could not see. He has a dog so I wanted to make sure 100%.

My bf was concerned about his pot. I told him no one cares, it’s the fire department, not the cops. He was paranoid about it and I couldn’t understand that.

They come and clear everything. He’s thinks im overreacting by calling 911, and now he can’t go back to sleep.

Am I the asshole?

My cousin is hosting a small engagement dinner at a nice restaurant and the invite said smart casual. My sister plans to wear ripped jeans and a graphic tee because she thinks the guideline is pretentious and wants to be comfortable. I told her I would ask her to change if she showed up like that because I do not want to make the evening awkward for the hosts. She feels I am siding with the restaurant rules over family and says I am making a big deal out of nothing. I get that she wants to relax and I am not trying to police her everyday clothes. At the same time, the venue is a step above our usual hangouts, and I would feel bad if the hosts felt disrespected. If I speak up ahead of time, I worry she will see it as me choosing strangers over her, but if I stay quiet and she arrives underdressed, the dinner might get tense. I am thinking about texting her before the night to gently suggest an alternative outfit. I do not want to start an argument, but I also do not want to ignore the request the hosts made. Would that make me the problem here?

I am trying to figure out if I would be crossing a line by telling my stepsister she cannot crash in my spare room over the holidays. The room has become my home office since I started working remotely full time, and I really need the quiet space to meet deadlines. We are not super close, and she has stayed before when things were different, so I get why she might assume it is still available. The problem is that when she stays, she brings friends over late and does not really respect the work hours I keep. I already have a list of nearby hotels I could send her, and I would even help pay for the first couple nights if money is tight. She would probably say that family should not have to pay for a room and that I am being cold since she has nowhere else lined up. I keep going back and forth about whether putting up the boundary now is fair or if I am just trying to avoid an awkward conversation.

My wife and two older daughters have a girl scout camping trip tonight at a place about 30-40 minutes from the house. I stayed home with our two little ones. About an hour after she left, and about 15 minutes I got the two little ones down for naps, she called and said she remembered everything but she forgot the tent in the garage.

She wanted me to bring it to her immediately. I asked why I couldn't bring it in a few hours when the kids woke up because they had just gone down for naps. She said everyone was setting up at that moment and she couldn't wait for later. I asked if I could have an hour so I could let them sleep some before waking them and ruining the rest of the nap. She said she wanted me to wake them and take it to her right then, or she would just go to Walmart and buy one. We hung up, I looked on Walmart's site, and sent her one she might want to buy and told her that it would probably be cheaper than me wasting gas to drive 60-90 minutes round trip.

She ended up going to Walmart and buying one but sent me a text she was upset I didn't help her when she needed help. I understand that I should always help, especially when I can and/or especially when she needs help with something.

I responded I have no problem helping but waking them up after only sleeping a few would mess up the rest of the day.

I'm trying to figure out if I was in the wrong here. AITA?

A friend of mine doesn't have a car, so I've let him borrow mine a few times. Never really had an issue with it until last month.

He borrowed it for a weekend to visit family a couple hours away. I gave it to him with almost a full tank and got it back Sunday night practically empty. When I brought it up, he said he was running late and would send me money for gas.

He didn't. I reminded him a few days later and he said he'd forgotten and would do it later. Never heard anything after that.

Last Friday he asked to borrow my car again to pick someone up from the airport. I said no and when he asked why, I told him I wasn't happy about what happened last time.

He got annoyed and said I was seriously making a big deal over gas money. Then he offered to send it right there, but I still said no.

Now he's saying I should've just reminded him again instead of holding a grudge. A mutual friend thinks I'm being stubborn since he offered to pay me back.

I don't really care about the money at this point. I just don't want to lend my car to someone I have to chase down for something that should've been obvious.

Am I the asshole?

Hello, I need to know if I’m the AH here. I’ll accept any judgement good or bad.

So I (40F) am a respiratory therapist and have been for nearly ten years. We don’t get much respect but oh well. I entered community college at what I consider a late age. I went to college straight out of high school but failed out after three years.

When I did my first stint in college out of high school a friend of mine went to a local school of nursing. It wasn’t a college college but it was a school that taught nothing but nursing run by a local hospital. I lost contact with her shortly after that. Contact with her has been patchy because life is crazy and she doesn’t use social media.

Twelve years ago I was doing my pre-recs for respiratory therapy at my community college. I ran into her at my college. She was starting clinicals for the nursing program. I didn’t think much of it. College didn’t work out for me the first time either so I just brushed it off. When she started at another campus I lost contact with her again.

Recently I ran into her at a high school classmate’s funeral. When we all started catching up she told me she was still working on her nursing degree but the current program she was in wasn’t working out. That was when she filled me in on what post high school education has been like for her.

Just to explain, here’s what she’s done trying to become a nurse:

Nursing trade school right out of high school; didn’t work out.

Local state college for nursing; didn’t work out

Local university for nursing; didn’t work out

Local tech school for nursing; didn’t work out

Local community college for nursing (where I ran into her); didn’t work out

Tech school further away for nursing; didn’t work out

Community college further away for nursing; currently not working out.

We’re now 22 years out of high school and she’s been trying to become a nurse for 22 years and has been through SEVEN schools. I ended up saying, “maybe it’s nursing in general that isn’t working out. Have you considered respiratory therapy or rad tech? You already have your pre-recs.” She said I was a jerk for asking her to give up on her dreams. Maybe I was. But I’ll leave that for you to decide. I’d love to see her achieve her dreams, but it really feels like she’s suffering needlessly.

I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for almost two years. We don't live together, but we usually spend weekends at each other's places.

Last weekend, we planned to have a quiet weekend at home because I've been stressed with work lately. On Friday, he surprised me by telling me he'd booked a two-night getaway for us. He'd already spent around $600 on a nonrefundable hotel.

I appreciated the thought, but I honestly didn't want to go. I was exhausted and had been looking forward to relaxing at home. I told him I wasn't comfortable going and offered to cover my half of the dinner plans we'd originally made, but I didn't think I should have to pay for a trip I never agreed to.

He got upset and said he was only trying to do something nice for us. He said he'd put time and money into planning a surprise, and that I made him feel like his effort meant nothing. He ended up going alone.

Now he wants me to reimburse him for half the hotel, arguing that he wouldn't have booked it if he hadn't planned to take me. I refused because I never agreed to the trip in the first place.

I do feel guilty, because I know he meant well, and I can understand whwy he'd be disappointed... but I also feel like paying him back would be unfair when I had no say in the decision.

AITAH for refusing to pay my bf half the hotel cost, even though he booked the trip as a surprise for me???

My partner and I have been living with my brother and MIL for a few months, and I’m overwhelmed by the situation.

My brother initially planned to stay for his nine month visa. We eventually told him he needed to move out because he wasn’t respecting our house rules, but this became flexible after he made a drastic improvement that we both acknowledged.

Shortly after, my MIL moved in following a breakup with her long term partner. There was no timeline, but I thought it was temporary.

She’s very nice for the most part, but boundaries are an issue. We’ve been dragged into the drama with her ex, as she repeatedly cuts him off and reconnects with him. She also wants to know everyone’s whereabouts and plans, and coming home from work often feels like answering a questionnaire. My partner agrees this can be overwhelming.

I asked him to speak to her and explain that we’re adults and can manage our own lives. She became upset and said she didn’t want to live with us anyway because she could tell we didn’t want her there.

A few days later, I asked if she was genuinely looking to move because my mum is planning to visit. She said she was looking, but things were tough.

Meanwhile, my friend offered my brother a room, and he accepted. After viewing it, he joked about changing his mind because the bed was too small. My partner became visibly frustrated and said his mum will be moving out regardless because he wanted our space back and was tired of the situation.

I spoke to my brother and told him to take his commitment seriously.

I’d asked my partner not to tell his mum about my friend’s offer because I didn’t want to deter her from finding a place. She later suggested moving there herself, and he explained my brother was potentially taking the room. My friend had already confirmed she wouldn’t accommodate MIL.

My partner then told me one of MIL’s housing options had fallen through. I reiterated that she still needed to find somewhere else. I thought we agreed.

Today, I checked my pet camera and overheard my partner telling his mum that the pressure was off finding somewhere because my brother was moving out.

I felt sick.

When I confronted him, he said I needed to “talk to someone” and that he planned to address it in his own time. He also said I had no business listening to the conversation.

He then asked her to move in with her cousin, who had offered her a place, but said he wasn’t comfortable making her leave and was only doing it to make me happy. He said he strongly disagreed with it. He also said any further discussion would need to happen in front of a professional.

This situation has seriously affected our relationship. We’re distant, barely spend time together, and our sex life is practically nonexistent.

I feel there’s a double standard. I had to enforce boundaries with my brother, but when it comes to his mum, I’m being called cruel for wanting our space back.

I’m 27M, live in Nebraska, and manage a Target store. My sister Emily (24) has a three-year-old son and asked me to co-sign an apartment lease. I said no, but I’m less sure about how I defended it.

Emily is recovering financially after splitting with her son’s dad. She works full-time at a dental office but falls short of the apartment’s income requirement. Rent is about $1,350, and the guarantor agreement could leave me responsible for unpaid rent.

I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that legal responsibility. She said she’d make the payments and asked if I didn’t trust her. I said, “I trust you to try, but I can’t guarantee nothing will go wrong.” I offered $1,000 toward moving costs, but she said that wouldn’t help her qualify and felt like I was buying my way out of helping.

I grew up with an abusive dad and struggled financially from 18 to 22, including relying on welfare. I’m protective of the stability I’ve built. Last year I loaned Emily $450 for car repairs. She repaid me, though I had to remind her.

At dinner a few days later, Mom asked whether I’d agreed to co-sign. When I said no, she reminded me that people helped me when I was struggling. I said guaranteeing a lease wasn’t the same as a one-time expense, but Mom said I was exaggerating the risk.

I got defensive and said Emily was still catching up on bills and I wouldn’t put my name on a lease without knowing her budget. Then I mentioned the loan and having to chase her for repayment. I wanted Mom to understand I wasn’t being selfish.

Emily looked embarrassed. “I paid you back. So because I had a hard year, I can never ask you for anything?” She said I’d told Mom she was irresponsible. I said I wasn’t calling her irresponsible in general, just that I didn’t want to be responsible if she couldn’t pay. She took her son into the living room, and Mom said I’d made my point but didn’t need to humiliate her.

The next day Emily texted that she’d been working hard to improve things and had trusted me with her financial details. She said she’d never used my rough years to make me feel unreliable. I apologized for sharing her private history, but didn’t change my mind.

We still text, mostly about her son, but things are colder. Mom thinks my savings mean I could afford the risk. I think having savings doesn’t obligate me to guarantee someone else’s rent. I admit I wanted Mom to see me as reasonable, so I used details that weren’t mine to share.

I love my sister and want her and her son to have stable housing. I also don’t want to become the family’s financial backup because I’m doing okay.

AITA for refusing to co-sign, or was I wrong to bring up her money problems to justify it? I’ll apologize for that part, but I don’t think I should apologize for saying no.

I (22F) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for two years. He is originally from France but lives in the US. His English is pretty good and he's able to have most conversations just fine, of course he does have an accent and makes occasional grammatical errors, but overall it's pretty good and easy to understand.

I have been learning French for four years since my freshman year in college and I studied abroad in Paris so I have a decent grasp on the language. I speak with him in French often because it's his first language so of course he doesn't mind, and I want to improve.

But he corrects my French constantly. From my experience in France it does seem correcting people is a bit more common, and when I studied abroad, I got corrected by French people all the time even for minor errors. I know he's not trying to be mean and I do appreciate it sometimes. But there's a difference between correcting someone when they ask for advice on how to phrase something or what word to use and interrupting a conversation to point out a mistake that doesn't actually affect your understanding of what they're saying.

In my experience, it's not really considered polite in the US to correct an English-learner if they make a small mistake. The mindset is more "if it doesn't hinder my understanding, it doesn't really matter".

I've mentioned this to my boyfriend before that he maybe should chill out a bit as if he were to do this to someone else they might perceive him as rude.

Yesterday I was having dinner with him and I was saying something and said like un femme instead of une femme and he interrupted me mid point and corrected that. Obviously I know that the word femme in french is feminine, it's one of the first words you learn and it's quite obvious given the fact it means woman.

I was annoyed because I was talking about something serious. I switched back to English and said that his English isn't as good as he thinks it is and there's tons of stuff he says wrong yet I don't correct him. I also said that we live in the US so I really don't have any need to speak French so I frankly do not give a shit about sounding native if people can understand me.

He got really quiet after that. Later, he told me that what I said was cruel because he worked hard to learn English and that "English is harder than French" so I shouldn't be disparaging his. I told him that I wasn't trying to insult his English and it was pretty good, I just wanted him to feel how I felt when he constantly interrupts me.

Now I think I may have crossed a line and been a bit too harsh. I do think his English is good enough, and I don't usually notice or care about his mistakes. I was just quite frustrated and wanted him to understand my point, but I can see how what I said might have sounded like I was belittling something he's worked hard on.

AITA?

My best friend and her kids (my niece and nephew, 10m and 5f) are staying with me, my husband, and our kids (3, 5, 6) after her apartment burned down and she wasn’t able to afford another apartment in her city. She moved out of state to stay with us, so the kids don’t see their dad very often (Their dad was given the option to have the kids full time and chose not to have them).

I love my friend and her kids but her 10 year old is struggling with the move and taking it out on the other kids, but especially his sister. His excuse is always that boys like messing with girls.

My friend had to go out of town for work earlier this week for 1 night. I kept all of the kids and her son was really testing boundaries while she was gone. He was harassing the other kids nonstop, had already lost dessert, then when the kids were watching a movie on the couch, he stuck his butt right in front of his sister’s face and farted about 3 inches from her face.

I told him he was done with screen time and he took the remote and refused to hand it over. He gave in once I called my husband over and I ended up sending him to his room for the night, which he also refused to do until my husband walked him to his room. Husband ended up standing outside his door because he kept leaving, trying to watch the movie with the rest of the kids, and making my husband get involved to get him to go back to his room.

My husband and I are taking the kids to a festival today. My friend planned to bring her kids but she is sick. I told her that I will gladly take her daughter but her son would have to stay home with her because he doesn’t listen to me and I won’t make my husband act like a prison guard to keep her kid in line. She agreed that that was fair.

We were getting ready to go and her son asked why he can’t come. I told him the truth. If I have to call my husband over every time I need him to do or stop doing something, he doesn’t behave well enough for me to take him in public.

He got mad and started yelling that it’s not fair, we hate him, and cursing at all of us. We left without him but now my husband is saying that he could’ve handled watching him and that with all he’s going through, excluding him is probably only making it worse.

Now I’m wondering if I’m the asshole for deciding not to let him come with us.

So I recently moved, I'm renting a bedroom in a pretty large and elegant house. Initially the landlord offered me the room at $900 with utilities included. I mentioned to them that I worked from home and that it was expected for the electric bill to go up, so I offered $50 extra to compensate and I told them if it's more I'd be willing to pay more if the price went up if they showed me the utility bills. When they made the contract, they put the price as $950 not including utilities which is false, so I told them that I will not sign until we determine a standard rate or we change the rate since initially rent $900 with basic utilities. So we left it at that we were going to wait for the bills to arrive.

Turns out the woman of the house doesn't let you do anything... She doesn't let you wash laundry, I mean she will wash it for you but you have to wash your underwear and socks and any small item by hand. Also you can't wash queen size sheets because the washer is "too small". You can't use a waffle maker, you can't blow dry or straighten your hair BC the electricity bill will go up, etc.

She even suggested I shower at the gym to save water. And I go to the gym in the morning, I only shower once a day before I start work.

All of a sudden, last month, she told me she wants to bump up the rent to $1,100. I told her that I can't afford it, that she should show me the bills and there we can determine if or not I can continue to pay here or not.

Yesterday was rent day, she reminded me that the payment would be $1,100. I asked her to show me the bills and she refused. So I basically said I would move out and now she is angry.

3 yrs ago I (47F) met someone (38M) who became a good friend and moved in with me to try and help me upkeep the house (instead of paying rent he said he’d do the maintenance and repairs for me). I inherited the house after my grandpa died and then after my mom died. As this was a childhood home, there is negative memories in it (from trauma and abuse I’ve experienced in it) and have often wanted to sell and move.
Over the last few months my roomie and I have been fighting a lot and if I try to date, guys are intimidated by his presence yet my roomie never has any issues bringing home females. I told him he has 5 months to clear out his stuff as it’s cluttering the yard and filled up my 3 car garage (where my car is parked outside) and he’s been telling me I’m jeopardizing his custody arrangement with his kid, he can’t keep his dog and I am being selfish about wanting to move. I told him I’m looking for 3 bedrooms but not this house and he’s not interested in moving as he loved this property and the land but can’t afford to buy it. I keep telling him I’ve been wanting to sell for the past 4 yrs but he said I’m not taking into consideration his feelings or his life. We are not partners nor did we date and I think I’m giving him plenty of notice to find alternative living arrangements but he tells me I’m being selfish. Am I?

My son is 9. He is underweight due to some issues but we are working through it with a doctor. He is very short for his age.

I used to be an EMT. I have seen some horrible things. I've heard the screams of parents when they realize their child is gone in an accident.

My son thinks I'm being absolutely ridiculous. I have explained to him that I will always prioritize his safety over his pride. If he's embarrassed, he needs to get over it. He tells me that he is the only one in his class that still has a booster. I do not want him to be bullied. I've told him we could get a discreet booster, I even showed pics of examples. He will listen to no reason.

My husband thinks I'm being overprotective and controlling. According to state law in my area, he has to be 8 years old or 4'9. He is barely 4 feet. In my opinion, he can wait until he is 4'9.

Edit to add - My husband is being very unhelpful with this. He has gotten it into my son's head that since he is over 8, it's legal and fine.

I saw a similar post about this yesterday so I'm posting my own to hear opinions.

My daughter is 16 and recently completed her drivers education classes that she was doing with the school. The class ends at 6, but last Thursday they had their last class which was dedicated to the final to pass the class. After they were done with the test they were allowed to leave and my daughter told me so, but never told me what time to pick her up. She couldn't call me either because she doesn't have a phone right now. Long story short, she got it taken at school enough (twice) times to where we have to go and get it, and my wife and I decided we wouldn't go and get it until the end of the term which is late October. So she hasn't had it for about a week and a half.

Because she didn't give me an exact time, I just showed up at 4:45 (exam started at 4) in case she was still testing or worst case she was waiting for a bit. But she never came out. So I called my son (13) and he said that she was walking into the house at that very time I called. So I went back home.

When I asked her why she walked, she said she finished at 4:15 and I wasn't there, and she "didn't know anyone" so she didn't ask to borrow anyone's phone and didn't have one to call me. And other people were still taking the test and those who finished just got up and left. I thought that was fine, didn't think anything of it.

My daughter told my wife and she was kind of mad at me for letting her walk home, and started to rethink the phone thing now. My wife said she didn't like that because it's 'unsafe,' but we live in one of the safest suburbs in one of the safest states in the country. And according to my daughter nothing happened, so it's no big deal. It's only a 30 minute walk. This whole thing wouldn't have happened if our daughter wasn't using her phone in school, so that's on her.

My wife (and my daughter) seemed to be kind of pissed at me the next day, so posting to see if I'm the AH.

I (40m) take care of my grandpa (91m) who has Alzheimer’s. Grandma used to take care of him with several weekly visits from me, but she passed 5 years ago. I’ve taken on most of his care with the exception of a nurse who comes while I am at work.

My uncle (69m) was stealing grandpa’s money before we found out about his diagnosis. He would tell him a sob story, take him to the bank, get him to withdraw $400-700, then repeat roughly every other day. He knew he was “looping” and didn’t tell anyone. My sister went to visit maybe 4 years ago, realized something was wrong and let the family know. My mom checked things out, he got diagnosed and she said she wasn’t willing to relocate/take on that huge responsibility. Mom wanted gpa in a home, I did not. I moved him in and have been caring for him ever since.

My uncle says that family takes care of each other and that grandpa was responsible for paying his son’s college tuition. I politely told him that everything he took over the years was all he would ever see until grandpa passed (I don’t know what his will states but I’m sure it goes to his two kids, mom and uncle). Uncle comes around every now and then telling me to give him money because that’s his dad and not mine. I always decline and let him know that if he ever wants to visit because he cares, he is more than welcome (he never does).

Grandpa had a heart attack two days ago. I told the family so they are updated about anything regarding his health. Uncle shows up at the hospital being extremely friendly, asking to help and taking shifts at the hospital. Grandpa was released today and I took him home. Uncle shows up and demands that I compensate him for his time. I can’t begin to explain how he’s been since I took over grandpa’s care and I believe this was the proverbial straw for me. I told him to go away and never come back. Pretend his dad doesn’t exist and don’t show up unless it’s at the lawyers to get his “piece of the pie” that seems to be all he cares about. My mom is livid and told me that I was extremely rude and that being a son is bigger than being a grandson. I should let uncle have some money and let him visit whenever. We argued a bit and I didn’t want to talk about it any more, as it was making me upset. My family has been calling telling me I’m out of line because that’s his father… AITAH?

My mother texted my sister and I in a group chat stating that she was going to be making a funeral floral arrangement for a friend's relative and would include our names on the card. She never asked a question, just made a statement letting us know what she was doing.

Neither of us responded immediately, as we both have several young children and were busy with general life after the school day.

I read her text and just went about my afternoon with the intent of discussing more after all the kids were in bed (thank you for doing that, when are you going to the viewing, maybe we can go together, etc.). My husband and i were also trying to give our kids undivided attention because he was leaving to work out of town for several weeks and only had a few days home in between jobs.

Less than 2 hours after her initial text, she sends another thats says "I'm in the er."

I instantly respond and ask whats happening (shes regularly had health issues for 10+ years and multiple hospilizations).

She says she could be dying with some skull emojis. Then follows up with "jk, just testing you since no one could answer me earlier."

I was very upset that she would fake an emergency for a response/attention, especially when I don't think her initial text warranted an immediate response.

I told her how I felt about it and she responded with cursing and saying I was overreacting. Mind you, I never swore at her, just explained why I didn't immediately respond and how I felt about her faking an emergency.

She was supposed to pick my kids up from school the next day but i was very upset and told her I would get them. She told me no, she was getting them. I told her no again. The next morning she asks me if i told my kids she would be picking them up so the school knows. I again told her no, i am picking them up. To avoid a conflict at the school (she was still picking up my sisters kids) I picked them up 15min early (I did not tell her i was doing this).

She was angry that i wouldnt allow her to pick them up at school. And even after telling her no several times, she still asked their teacher where they were at pick up because she was supposed to take them, to which the teacher responded confused and said they had been picked up early by me. She told my sister that I did it on purpose to embarrass her and upset her.

She told me that I was using my children as a tool against her and I was being childish.

My thought was, if you would fake an emergency and panic your own child, what will you do to my children? Or would you fake an emergency at the park bc i dont immediately respond to a text and cause me to go into panic about my own kids?

AITH for not allowing my mother to pick my kids up from school after she faked an emergency the day before just for attention?

So I (27F) am not a big dog lover. Call it a red flag or whatever but I really am not a big fan of a majority of dogs, tho I do enjoy them on a case-by-case basis. I’m mostly a cat person because they match my vibe. A girl in my friend group we’ll call Tina (28F) just recently got a dog which is a “Mini Golden Bernadoodle”. While I feel lightly negatively about most dogs, I feel STRONGLY negative about any of the doodles. I could go on a tangent about why I dislike them but a big one is that they’re really just poorly bred mutts with a big price tag and (in my experience) doodles are very anxious and reactive. They’re a major wildcard and I don’t really trust them.

Tina brought her puppy to a hangout one night and while I understand he’s a puppy, he was humping and peeing on everything and would jump on you and lick on your face. And instead of correcting him, Tina thought it was so cute and silly of him. I pushed him off me because he was getting all in my face and nipped my nose while licking me and she made a comment how I was being too rough and if I have a problem she would pull him off if I say something.

I was talking to my closer friends in the group about it and I flat out said I won’t be going to things where Tina’s puppy is going to be because I don’t have the patience for it. They think I’m being cruel towards the puppy and I was showing my obvious distain for him even before he was all over me and I should give the dog/Tina another chance.

AITA?

My wife (42f) and I (45m) are at odds regarding invisible tasks. I do all the cooking because she hates to. I asked that since I’m cooking, she should do the dishes. She agreed but after losing my job and taking on everything, that changed. 4mo later and I’m back in the work force. I spoke to her about changing the dynamic back but she didn’t take it seriously. She took on most of the bills while working from home, so I figured I’ll let her have it for a while and kept doing the dishes. Things came to a head when she would put dishes in the sink all day. I told her that I don’t mind doing them but I feel like she’s taking advantage by not washing a simple coffee mug and leaving it for me in the afternoon. She brushed that off. I asked her to at least show some gratitude if I’m going to be the chef and dish washer. She laughed and said she’s not going to thank me for washing dishes, it wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t wash anything. She was upset and washed them in the morning before work. I told her until she can show me appreciation, I’m not washing dishes any more. She said it’s just a daily chore and it shouldn’t matter who does it. I needed to stop this tit for tat thing. AITAH…

Update: We talked it out and she admitted she’s been stressed at work and she did know that I would clean her dishes no matter what. She hasn’t felt like doing much after work. She apologized for taking advantage of that. She laughed at me not doing the dishes the other night and admitted that she felt silly for being mad about me not doing something she hasn’t been doing. I apologized for going about it in a petty way but teased that it got her hands working again. All is well.

I (40F) have mesophonia. There are certain sounds that I really don't like.

My husband (50M) and I have been married for 11 years, so he's very aware of the sounds that bother me. Some can't be controlled, like eating a banana. It doesn't matter how you eat the banana, it will always sound gross to me. I don't criticize the way he eats a banana, but I don't like it when he comes to sit next to me while he eats it. This morning he did, so I just got up and went to the kitchen. I don't see this as a big deal, but he gets personally offended by it. I explained that it has nothing to do with him, and that there is no one I would want to sit next to while they ate a banana.

The problem is there are other sounds that he CAN control, but even after 11 years of telling him it bothers me, he continues to do. For example, he chews his fingers constantly while we watch tv and I need to tell him to stop. He also chews with his mouth open while we watch tv. He doesn't do it otherwise, I think it's just when he's distracted by what we are watching. And he bites his fork when he eats. Aside from these things though, I don't tell him he needs to change anything. Sounds bother me, it is what it is. And it's not personal.

He tells me I am trying to "normalize" it by calling it mesophonia, and he says it's hard for him when I get up and walk away. I get frustrated that he takes it so personally when I have explained again and again that it has nothing to do with him. I also get frustrated that he doesn't seem to care to change the things that are within his control, like chewing his fingers and biting his fork, which are not really polite things to be doing anyways.

Am I the asshole for removing myself when there are sounds I don't like, and for asking my husband to not do certain things that I find really unpleasant?