r/AmItheAsshole • u/lemmesplain • 6d ago
Not enough info AITA For Picking out the peas for dinner
My live in has a habit of finishing the food in the fridge without telling me or replacing it. That means when I make dinner expecting an ingredient its gone.
He says i can just buy more but he doesnt replace them.
Tonight I planned to make chicken risotto...takes about an hour. I made it and went to the freezer to add frozen peas, its a classic ingredient.
Gone.
He used the entire package of peas for some weird casserole thing. Did not leave me any. Didn't notify me he was taking them. Didn't replace them. Not the first time he used up everything, either.
If he had told me I would have gotten more.
The food was on the stove. And I was pissed.
So I took out his casserole and scooped out some of the peas and put them in the risotto. Which I made for dinner and for which he gets and eats a double portion. Without kicking in any dough for groceries.
And I told him so.and he's pissed at me. We had words. He said he shouldn't have to ask permission. I should check the fridge first.
And I lost it and yelled that im not the food cop, he should have told me and taken some responsibility and grow the f*** up.
So he's saying he can't believe he's having an argument about peas.
Its not about peas. Its about not acting like you're the only person in the apartment.
Hes going to make it sound petty. Am I the Asshole here?
I thought it was the only way to get my point across
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u/Unusual_Arugula4481 6d ago
Sorry, I actually don't give a fuck about the peas, I am irrationally irritated that approximately 3000 people have asked you to explain what you mean by "live-in", and you just completely ignore them, but you can engage to specify you also added mushrooms. Honestly, you've driven me nuts. I would eat all the peas too. YTA.
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u/matthewsmugmanager Asshole Aficionado [11] 6d ago
I'm already standing in line to snatch some more veg from her freezer.
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u/tragicxharmony 6d ago
Honestly, same. Risotto sounds delicious right now. I’ll steal OP’s risotto and not pay for groceries if it means I don’t have to dedicate any more brain space to what “live-in” means
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u/Big-Kaleidoscope1577 6d ago
I also doubt that she's communicating with him about what she's planning to cook and what ingredients she'll need.
I always check before I leave for work that I have everything I need for dinner that night. Then I send a message to my family that tells them what dinner will be so they don't use the ingredients on me.
And if they do, well, it's not really the end of the world. I can just leave that ingredient out or find an alternative meal. The risotto would have been better without mushy, twice-cooked peas, I reckon.
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u/bythebrook88 Asshole Aficionado [17] 6d ago
I recommend you make him a 'live out' ... whatever he is.
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u/ljross87 6d ago
Live in what?
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u/Lopsided-Ad5950 6d ago
Fuck buddy
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u/ljross87 6d ago
Do they pay rent?
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u/Lopsided-Ad5950 6d ago
Doubt it, she sounds dickmatized..
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u/ljross87 6d ago
Except for using the peas!!! If I have a fuck buddy that lives with me, why are we making separate meals??? Is this just a sponge of a human?
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u/Plastic-Ad-5171 6d ago
Yes, they are now called “hobosexuals “. Leeches who live with a person but contribute nothing and use everything. Also nearly impossible to get rid of until they find their next mark. “Oh I’m gonna be homeless if you kick me out!”
BTW- term applies to all sexes.
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u/whisky_biscuit 6d ago
Lol this one has been coming up a lot in my posts recently. So it's basically refers to a woman putting up with a leech because the smex is good?
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u/mecha_mess 6d ago
This is the actions of somebody who only has a problem with food being missing when it's their problem. This person does not like you. And will keep doing this in the future.
Figure out how you're going to address this long-term, otherwise you're going to be dealing with this for a long time.
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u/whisky_biscuit 6d ago
Yeah I mean someone who has no respect or boundaries but steals your food and eats it and doesn't contribute at all to anything? Short of my own child there's no one I would put up with doing that and living with me.
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6d ago
[deleted]
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u/Beneficial-Sell4117 6d ago
like god damn bro it’s only impossible to give context if it weakens your position 😭😭😭
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u/LdiJ46 Certified Proctologist [25] 6d ago
There is nothing worse than discovering that someone has used the ingredients you need for the meal you are making except if the person who did it also didn't contribute at all to the groceries in the first place.
Then, instead of apologizing they act like as A. NTA but your "live in" sure is.
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u/otakme 6d ago
Yeah, and the live in getting pissed the peas were reappropriated for risotto is funny to me 😂 like get over it, it’s literally the most minor thing?? XD
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u/tragicxharmony 6d ago
I don’t know, taking peas out of a half-baked casserole and using them in different food instead of throwing them away because they’ve been contaminated by Cream of Something soup is pretty Not Minor to me 😂 Like, you know they’re going to make the risotto taste gross, you’re just doing it to prove a point
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u/DarthVaden87 Partassipant [2] 6d ago
I know they claim live in was going to eat their food but why would they do that if they were in the middle of cooking a casserole.
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u/issy_haatin Asshole Enthusiast [7] 6d ago
OPs kid makes their own food and has op who doesn't communicate with them, but is somehow the AH? Yeah no, OPs failure to talk is on them
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u/kittygomiaou 6d ago
A live in?
A live in nanny? A live in au pair? A live in maid? A live in butler? A live in squatter? A live in parent?
Like what is the relationship here?
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u/tragicxharmony 6d ago
…..live in? Live in what? YTA for using weird terminology, not clarifying ages and genders like you’re supposed to, and being purposefully vague about what this relationship is
And someone please clarify—am I too old or too young to understand what that means? Being in your 30s is rough lmao. Sounds like an old person term because The Youth use “situationship” but I don’t even know
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u/RowansRys 6d ago
Xennial here, I can only assume she misspelled “hobosexual”. I’ve heard (ok, read) live in and I’m going to go out on a limb and infer that it doesn’t end with ‘nanny’ here so… hopefully a STBX
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u/tragicxharmony 6d ago
Yeah I thought at first that maybe it was a UK thing but anyone making a casserole voluntarily is from the US, Midwest specifically, so that ruled out British slang 😂
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u/thisisgettingdaft Asshole Enthusiast [7] 6d ago
Casseroles are a common UK thing, they just happen to be a different thing. A stew of some sort made in a casserole dish, or dutch oven for the US.
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u/tragicxharmony 6d ago
Huh, good to know. As long as they don’t involve dumping some sort of cream of x soup into them at the beginning of the recipe, I can get behind the concept
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u/Srapture 6d ago
There probably are people who do that but I've never had one like that.
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u/tragicxharmony 6d ago
Count your blessings lmao, they’re a staple at every get-together in the US Midwest
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u/RowansRys 6d ago
Leave my tuna casserole alone, heathen! 😏
(Although I improved the original recipe with the creative use of cheeses, so…)1
u/tragicxharmony 6d ago
Lol, I’m not sure if that’s an improvement or not? 😂
But I shouldn’t talk because I eat a lot of meals that are just step 1: make rice, step 2: dump ingredients into rice and stir. That’s practically a casserole, just with a light amount of sauce rather than half the contents being sauce
But if you have an Aldi near you, try out their “German week” canned herring in sauce, it goes great in rice. I had the one with tomato sauce yesterday and just mixed it up with leftover white rice from getting Chinese, and a very large amount of butter, and it was delicious
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u/RowansRys 6d ago
I’ve never done canned herring, maybe I will try it. Extra sharp cheddar and pepper jack make it basically Mac and cheese with extra protein, and nice bubbly cheddar on top is never a bad thing. Medium shells make them hold it like filling. It’s a childhood favorite.
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u/tragicxharmony 6d ago
Ah, okay, yeah, if it’s basically mac & cheese I’m here for that 😂
My mom was one of those “health food store” moms when I was growing up and got like, low fat, low sodium, low everything and it ruined a lot of foods for me. We’ve come a long way in “healthy” pastas, because I remember the awful crunchy (she liked it al dente) whole wheat pasta she would use in casseroles or lasagna, ugh
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u/RowansRys 6d ago
I like healthy stuff, and my mom was part of a food co-op when I was growing up (we won’t discuss the trauma from flour and grain moths brought in on the brown rice, ever). We did the low salt thing and while I can eat a lot of sodium if I can’t taste it, I loathe the taste of salt except on potato chips and in V8. We were never low fat, thank god. I felt bad for one childhood friend whose mom did the extreme health kick thing and part of it was replacing chocolate with carob. 0/10, do not recommend. Now I want to have tuna casserole to see how it tastes, I’ve been getting less salt taste tolerant lately.
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u/snoopysnoop2021 Partassipant [1] 6d ago
Meh, what it she means her child and is intentionally leaving it blank.
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u/SheilaInSweden 6d ago
Is it an old(er) person thing? I'm in my early 50s and understood from the start that they meant live-in partner.
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u/13x133 6d ago
Idk, if it makes you feel better I’m 25 and I thought it was pretty obviously “live-in partner” as well. Could they be more clear? Sure. But idk why everyone is making it seem like this is a complete mystery lol
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u/DiskOne3096 6d ago edited 6d ago
In my 30s and I thought nanny or housekeeper 😂 those are the only times I've heard the term "live-in [something]" used before, so it took me a minute to realise it might not be either of those. But there's a difference between a housekeeper/nanny using food without permission and a partner doing it, so I think what OP meant would change the answer to their question
ETA: I have also heard it used for a nurse who lives full time in the house of the person they're caring for too, but that one didn't come to mind until just now
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u/ConflictGullible392 Supreme Court Just-ass [113] 6d ago
Info: partner or roommate or something else? Why doesn’t he contribute for groceries? Who was the casserole for?
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u/uPcountrY64 6d ago
I’d be pea-ssed off as well. NTA
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u/lemon_charlie Certified Proctologist [28] 6d ago
OP is taking the peas, he’s taking something the something else.
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u/Srapture 6d ago
YTA for still not explaining what live-in means despite the many comments asking for clarification. If I ever get the chance, I'm taking your veg without asking.
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u/MagicalGirlTrash 6d ago
I'm going to say YTA because you seem to be deliberately obscuring the details of who this person is to you. I can't make an appropriate judgement unless I understand this relationship. Is this your adult child living with you? Is this a nanny? A romantic or sexual partner? An elderly parent? Because you keep dodging these obvious questions, I don't feel that we can trust your narrative, especially not after answering-but-refusing-to answer in another comment.
I agree that you should tell someone if you use all of their ingredient, or even better, ask first. I know I find that really frustrating when someone I'm living with doesn't give me that courtesy. But until I know who this person is and what the situation is, you seem to be hiding details and I truly cannot trust your narrative at all. Perhaps you're just as shady in this relationship you have with this "live in" as you are online.
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u/Alternative-Pear9096 6d ago
NTA. I f a person finishes a package, the person communicates that. Even better, a person asked ahead of time if the person who does the meal planning and grocery shopping has a plan for any of the ingredients.
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u/brittanybookworm Partassipant [2] 6d ago
INFO: what on earth is a live-in? Roomate? Partner? Sibling? Friend?
NTA: If whoever the guy is, doesn't contribute to buying the food, stop making him dinner. Get a lock box for the stuff you buy.
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u/Aggravating_Swim_960 Partassipant [1] 6d ago
Classic hobosexual.
YTA for apparently having zero standards or self-respect.
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u/MoodyBlue78 Partassipant [1] 6d ago
Is there a reason why you both can’t be responsible for purchasing cooking your own food?
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u/snoopysnoop2021 Partassipant [1] 6d ago
This is prob her own son she's complaining about. Notice she won't give specifics that may change things.
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u/Ok-Willow-9145 6d ago
Are the two of you roommates sharing an apartment? If so, get a mini fridge for your bedroom and keep your food there. Put a lock on your door.
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u/issy_haatin Asshole Enthusiast [7] 6d ago
YTA
You're refusal to properly explain who it is, leaves only one explanation: he's your kid.
He made food, and he's right. Why are you only grabbing ingredients after your dish is nearly done?
Hell, why don't you tell him: tonights dish A, that's with ingredients x, y and z, don't use them, thanks.
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u/famousanonamos Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] 6d ago
Stop sharing groceries. Each if you gets half the fridge, half the freezer. He shops for himself and doesn't touch your groceries. The fact that he is eating the food and not pitching in for groceries is ridiculous.
However, you know he does this. He eats the food. He doesn't communicate when he uses something up. You should check before you cook or say ahead of time, "please don't use the peas because I am using them for risotto tonight." He didn't know you had a plan for them so he used them, like he always does.
You should insist he helps pay for groceries or boot him if he's going to keep taking and not giving. Taking some of the peas out of his food to put it yours was mildly petty, but also shouldn't have caused a huge blow up like this. ESH.
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u/Traveler691 Asshole Aficionado [18] 6d ago
Even when I’ve lived alone I’ve checked all the ingredients before I make something. Who remembers every single thing in their pantry? The fact that OP knows they do this and didn’t check makes me curious. Instead of pulling the peas from the dish, they should have demanded they go to the store for the peas. ESH
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u/jexx30 6d ago
I scrolled way too far down for this. I know that mistakes happen, but checking for ingredients before making a specific dish is standard practice, no? In an ideal world, this nebulously-titled roommate? Partner? Employee? should write "frozen peas" on the shopping list I'm sure you are keeping on the fridge, but alas, not this time.
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u/DarthVaden87 Partassipant [2] 6d ago
ESH. If you realize things like this are happening you should probably start checking that you have everything you need before you start cooking but you should also probably get live in whoever it is to start kicking in for food and or if they use something write it down or text it to you.
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u/Helpful_Leather8917 6d ago
I don't know what you mean by a live in, but I wouldn't assume a roommate or perhaps a boyfriend? He sucks btw. He shouldn't be using up ingredients you buy and you shouldn't keep feeding him meals you make. Have a conversation with him about your relationship. If he doesn't understand then he needs to go. This isn't good. Nta
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u/Sethicles2 6d ago
You don't need a period every five words; it's ok to chain thoughts together into longer sentences. This read like a brain damaged Hemingway.
NTA, but have a serious conversation about your selfish roommate? Boyfriend? Relative? No one knows, because "live in" doesn't explain much.
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u/PsychologyGuilty1460 6d ago
Info? What was he pissed about? What did you do that might make you an a******? Why did you let him have any risotto since he tried to ruin it for you?
And of course if somebody "borrowed" Your stuff and used it all up without replacing it or even warning you, They are automatically ta.
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u/Artistic-Can3562 6d ago
Why didn’t you check for the peas before starting. Live-in what? What is your relationship with this person? Did you tell him the peas were going to be used and ask him to leave them alone?
For now, YTA if you actually explain I might change judgement.
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u/Scared_Fox_1813 Asshole Aficionado [17] 6d ago
Info: live in what? And did he know that you were planning to use the peas for a meal?
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u/Sasspishus 6d ago
You share food with your live in landlord?? Sounds like a really weird situation
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u/Crumpled_Papers 6d ago
if 'live in' means relationship / significant other then this dude is ridiculous and disrespectful and I couldn't disagree with him more. His inability to grasp his own role in food consumption would make me want to break up. Too many real problems in life for some moron that doesn't know how grocery shopping works.
if 'live in' means roommate then you need to have a discussion about how you are dividing the food / not sharing food anymore. this is a common issue with roommates and you must be firm and consistent and not go back to just providing food or the behavior wont change.
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u/lemmesplain 6d ago
"Live in" is an SO.not a kid, roomie, spouse,nanny, parent, sibling, or any other type or degree of relationship.
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5d ago
[deleted]
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u/Apprehensive-Bus5172 5d ago
They said a live-in is an SO, i.e., a significant other.
But they should probably be no longer significant because they sound like they hate each other
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u/Puskarella Certified Proctologist [23] 6d ago
ESH
Stop sharing groceries. Stop cooking shared meals.
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u/troyandabedinabed 6d ago
Who buys the groceries? Who cooks the food?
If he also pays for groceries and cooks food, then he gets to use the food that's there. Food gets eaten. That's what it's for.
If the problem is that he uses something and then doesn't put it on a grocery list, then address that issue. But if the problem is simply that he eats the stuff that's in the fridge, I don't see how that's a problem unless he's not paying for it.
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u/lemmesplain 6d ago
I buy all the food and cook it most of the time.there are night I don't feel like cooking. Hence his casserole. There's stuff for sandwiches available.
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5d ago
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u/snoopysnoop2021 Partassipant [1] 6d ago edited 6d ago
YTA based on your useless answers. You are intentionally leaving info out because you want us to vote a specific way that justifies your feelings. YTA YTA YTA
Edit: you're probably complaining about your own child/husband/fam member you live with. Based on the manner of your writing, the fingering of food to grab peas, the replies...that person is your child.
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u/atchisonmetal 6d ago
NTA. He does need to grow up. Or else divide the grocery shopping, dinner prep, he’s on his own. Hope he considers himself a good cook.
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u/fucksiclepizza Partassipant [2] 6d ago
NTA we keep a pen and pad stuck to the fridge. If you use the last of something add it to the list.
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u/BouncyBilberry 6d ago
Mild ESH, but YTA with your reaction. Couldn't you just have asked him nicely to run to the store quickly and get some frozen peas since you needed them for dinner for the 2 of you? I get irritated when my partner does this sort of thing too, but it isn't malicious and picking up more peas isn't a huge deal if someone else is cooking dinner for you.
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u/PLS-Surveyor-US 6d ago
maybe some time spent coordinating meals is a relationship solve. if that fails then maybe that is telling you something more.
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u/QueenAlucia 6d ago
INFO: what do you mean by « live in » ? Live in what? What is your actual relationship to this person?
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My live in has a habit of finishing the food in the fridge without telling me or replacing it. That means when I make dinner expecting an ingredient its gone.
He says i can just buy more but he doesnt replace them.
Tonight I planned to make chicken risotto...takes about an hour. I made it and went to the freezer to add frozen peas, its a classic ingredient.
Gone.
He used the entire package of peas for some weird casserole thing. Did not leave me any. Didn't notify me he was taking them. Didn't replace them. Not the first time he used up everything, either.
If he had told me I would have gotten more.
The food was on the stove. And I was pissed.
So I took out his casserole and scooped out some of the peas and put them in the risotto. Which I made for dinner and for which he gets and eats a double portion. Without kicking in any dough for groceries.
And I told him so.and he's pissed at me. We had words. He said he shouldn't have to ask permission. I should check the fridge first.
And I lost it and yelled that im not the food cop, he should have told me and taken some responsibility and grow the f*** up.
So he's saying he can't believe he's having an argument about peas.
Its not about peas. Its about not acting like you're the only person in the apartment.
Hes going to make it sound petty. Am I the Asshole here?
I thought it was the only way to get my point across
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u/BoyMamaBear1995 Partassipant [1] 6d ago
NTA. While I try to mention if I have leftovers planned, or if something is 'fair game', my DH will ask before using something, or at least add it to the shopping list if he uses it up. It also helps that since he usually goes shopping with me, if he's noticed something is getting low, we can get it then. Also, with him helping shop, he'll come up with menu ideas, even if I'm doing the cooking, at least I didn't have to do all the work.
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u/willowsword 6d ago
At our house, we have a magnetic white board like you would put in a locker on the fridge. The person who uses the last of something has to write it there. We have two adult children who still live with us are now adults, but we have done this since they were young. If they need something when we are shopping, they write it there too. My husband and I take a picture when we leave to go grocery shopping. Maybe something like this would work, as it was a simple enough system since my kids were around 6 or 8 years old...
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u/Ok_Wtch2183 6d ago
If your boyfriend is not paying his share of living together including the groceries, you have much more of a problem than peas.
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u/Fit-Ad-413 6d ago
I hate when this happens! My brother, our friend, and I live in a house waaaaaaaay out in the middle of nowhere. It takes 2hrs on a curvy mountain rd just to get to the hwy and it's another 2.5-3hrs to get to Walmart and Costco. That said, we don't go to the grocery store very often so when someone uses the last of something and doesn't replace it it's a major PITA.
My health hasn't been the greatest so I haven't been able to eat very much but I bought myself some ginger ale and candied ginger to try to combat my nausea and a couple cans of soup some Ritz crackers. I was looking forward to having soup and crackers because it's been chilly out and it's about all I can stomach. I get home from the hospital and open the cabinet and see my entire box of crackers was gone. All 4 cans of soup gone. They got hungry and were heating the soup in a pot the night before but ended up making pizza instead but left the soup in a pot and on the stove (not on) overnight. I was so bummed. Lol
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u/thefurrywreckingball 5d ago
You live with this person and know that do this.
Why didn't you check you had all the ingredients?
Yta
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u/PsilosirenRose Supreme Court Just-ass [100] 5d ago
This person doesn't respect you. Probably not a good idea to keep cohabiting with them.
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u/NoOpposite2803 4d ago
It’s impossible to say if the “live in” is an asshole or not. Whatever else is going on here the OP is a poor communicator- on reddit for sure, probably in the relationship too.
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u/No_Turnip1766 6d ago
I will never understand why some people concentrate on the actual item without seeing the broader picture, and even when explicitly told what it's about will still insist it isn't.
Or I guess I do understand--because if he makes about peas it makes it sound like he didn't do anything wrong and you're crazy, while if he admits it's because he's behaving selfishly and not communicating, then he would have to take some responsibility.
NTA.
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u/itybrutus 6d ago
Get a mini fridge and get a lock on your door. Fuck that immature bullshit. People who are entitled like that will not gain a conscious because they are aware they can piggyback at your expense. Cut that sucker off by raising the level of pettiness
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u/FairyCompetent Partassipant [4] 6d ago
Why do you let someone live with you without contributing to groceries? If you're unhappy in your relationship (?) them end it. I'd rather be alone than argue over peas.
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u/Purple_Paper_Bag Partassipant [1] 6d ago
Live in sounds like an domestic employee.
There is certainly no love or even friendship between you.
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u/NamasteNoodle 6d ago
He needs to be buying for and paying for his own groceries and cooking for himself. Doing that for 2 or 3 months would let him see that it takes planning. And you say live in and we're not real clear what you mean by that but why isn't he paying for groceries?
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u/HelicopterFunny3240 6d ago
So you have a pet? Pets need to be trained or rehoused if they can't function in your household.
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u/Putrid_Magi Partassipant [3] 6d ago
Picking the peas out of the casserole is so fkn hilarious to me. NTA
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u/Youwhooo60 Pooperintendant [66] 6d ago
NTA
Put a white board on the refrigerator and tell him to write it down when he uses all of something.
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u/Traditional-Sky5252 Asshole Enthusiast [7] 6d ago
NTA. You 2 live together. So the solution is joint menu planning and grocery list making, and he contributes 50% of grocery costs. Or else you each plan, shop, pay, cook and clean kitchen for yourselves. Or you dump the lazy leech.
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u/Well_Socialized 6d ago
YTA, it's okay for people to use ingredients and cook without specifically telling you about what they used up.
Maybe try to implement a system where he can write down things he uses up if this is a recurring problem for you? We have a little white board magnet on my fridge where we write down groceries that need to be picked up, it's very handy.
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u/Stefie25 Asshole Enthusiast [6] 6d ago edited 6d ago
Do you communicate that you need that ingredient for the meal you are planning?
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u/CountessMina13 Partassipant [1] 6d ago
ESH. Wow.
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u/Thin-Concert8377 6d ago
I’d say NTA. If I made dinner for someone often and they kept eating the stuff I had bought and then had the audacity to get mad at me I would’ve been pissed too.
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u/Hey-Just-Saying Partassipant [1] 6d ago
It sounds like the bf made dinner the night before. The peas were used in the casserole he made.
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u/bythebrook88 Asshole Aficionado [17] 6d ago
And there was enough casserole left to remove the peas from it.
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u/lemmesplain 6d ago
Nope the casserole was for just him.
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u/Mentalcomposer Certified Proctologist [29] 6d ago
Then why are you cooking for him? Stop that.
The rule should be- if you finish it, it goes on the list. And the list is easily visible.
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u/dorothy_zbornakk Partassipant [3] 6d ago
it was just for him, but enough was left on the stove to give you enough peas to pick out for your risotto?
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u/Beneficial-Sell4117 6d ago
Where is OP being the asshole like
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u/Visual-Source4843 6d ago
By scooping peas out of the casserole he made and probably ruining the dish mid cook
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u/Beneficial-Sell4117 6d ago
Reasonable people will do unreasonable things when the accountability conversation falls on deaf ears
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u/Visual-Source4843 6d ago
You asked when OP was an asshole... does having a reason to be an asshole make you not one?
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6d ago
[deleted]
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u/Hey-Just-Saying Partassipant [1] 6d ago
Where does OP say they pay all the rent?
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u/lemmesplain 6d ago
I do.
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u/Artistic-Can3562 6d ago
You wanna explain the relationship’lemmesplain’?
You’ve been asked many times, and ignored the question.
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u/lemmesplain 6d ago
Nope. His casserole was in the fridge, leftover from yesterday.
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u/Imaginary-Emu2471 6d ago
Why can you answer this, but not the comments asking you what a live-in is?
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u/Hey-Just-Saying Partassipant [1] 6d ago edited 6d ago
NTA. Did you not notice the peas in the casserole he made? No one is necessarily right or wrong here. You just need a system that you both agree on and it needs to be fair.
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u/DisasterBiMothman 6d ago
Why couldnt you just warm up the casserole and eat that? You also should be grabbing your ingredients BEFORE you start cooking your meal. It would avoid situations like this.
Instead of being mad at him for using the food in the fridge, maybe take stock of your fridge BEFORE you decide what to make out of what you think is in the fridge. This is totally preventable. By you. YTA.
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u/Beneficial-Sell4117 6d ago
YTA don’t mess up someone’s food
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u/wacdonalds Asshole Enthusiast [9] 6d ago
It's her food, she bought it
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u/Beneficial-Sell4117 6d ago
OP refuses to say who the live-in is, so I can’t tell if it’s a maid, partner, or homeless person.
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u/scarymonst 6d ago
It's the right thing to do to put peas in the risotto. It helps produce a good bowel movement.
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u/lemmesplain 6d ago
I'm, I hadn't thought of it that way. It was mushroom and chicken risotto with peas. I've made it before.
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u/No-Citron-9567 6d ago
I don’t want em either. M
I don’t want them in fried rice
I don’t want them in chicken pot pie
I don’t want them
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u/LemonBlossom1 6d ago
If you need a specific ingredient for a dish, check to make sure you have it before you start cooking. Unless you have an agreed upon arrangement of yours vs. mine food, assume that the person you live with might also consume food. YTAH. If he knew you had an immediate plan in mind for the peas, my judgment would change, though, to NTAH.
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u/Tidus32x Partassipant [1] 6d ago
Ive never put peas in risotto, chicken or otherwise.
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u/Alternative-Pear9096 6d ago
who cares?
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u/Tidus32x Partassipant [1] 6d ago
People who make risotto? Literally the first thing OP says is that they went to add frozen peas to their risotto and there wasn't any. Peas belong in paella, not risotto.
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u/Alternative-Pear9096 6d ago
NGAF how you cook. It’s completely irrelevent
And yes, peas are risotto 101. Even more evidence of “who cares.”
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u/EkobasherX4Z 6d ago
Yta, he doesnt need to make it sound petty you've already done it.
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u/Beneficial-Sell4117 6d ago
??? is this the live-in with bot accounts lol
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u/EkobasherX4Z 6d ago
Live in what? I live with my girlfriend if we want to use something we tell eachother not to eat it. She says she won't be the food police but expects him to be a mind reader.
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u/Visual-Source4843 6d ago
YTA. Is he supposed to report to you every time he finishes something? Just get a grocery list you can with add to when needed
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u/Thin-Concert8377 6d ago
It seems fair since OP is literally making him dinner no?
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u/Alternative-Pear9096 6d ago edited 6d ago
Yes. That is exactly what an adult does.
I f the person is not the meal planner or grocery shopper, YES. That’s called being an adult .
NotAsshole: Hey, meal planner and shopper, did you have a plan for X?
NotAsshole: Hey, meal planner and shopper, I used the package of X.
NotAsshole: Hey Neal planner and shopper, I noticed we’re almost out of the thing I just ate
Assholechild: not doing any one of those
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u/Visual-Source4843 6d ago
He literally is making a casserole in the story. There is not just one meal planner or cook there obviously.
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u/Alternative-Pear9096 6d ago
Someone who cooks is not the meal planner. The meal planner keeps track of what’s in the house and builds a shopping list.
random schmuck who scratches his balls in front of the fridge deciding what to cook and not communicating anything is a little boy who has no clue.
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u/CoverCharacter8179 Supreme Court Just-ass [127] 6d ago edited 6d ago
INFO: Live in what?
EDIT: Please explain your relationship to this person in more detail and specifically mention why they don't pay any money for groceries