And she doesn’t let/want you to do it around her or with her help after.

Essentially like I finish and you don’t, and then I pee, clean up and basically don’t want you to stay over or anything bc I rather sleep alone.

And it’s not a kink or anything weird?

I (35F) was seeing a guy (37M) for a little over two weeks.

Back story:
- met on FB dating
- met up to do a vibe check and talked for 2ish hours, this ended in a never ending hug where he rubbed my back and said cute things and we didn’t want to let each other go
- came over for football a few days later, stayed around 7 hours, we had a great time, slept together twice
- 3rd hang was a week later, went to a comedy show and dinner then back to his place. I spent the night.

He texted me after each hang asking how this was possibly so comfortable and I felt the same. It honestly felt too good to be true.

He has four kids and a complicated history with his ex, so his availability was limited.

After not seeing each other for a week after the comedy date, he finally had a kid-free night. He invited me to dinner but I’d had a long day and I wanted him to come to me instead. He declined, and I got upset because I felt like I was more excited to see him than he was to see me.

The next morning, I tried explaining my feelings, but he interpreted it as me trying to control him. He became defensive, emphasizing that he has boundaries and doesn’t get “in trouble.” I kept trying to explain myself, and eventually he told me I was “digging my own grave.”

Instead of backing off, I continued reaching out because I wanted to fix things. He eventually stopped responding entirely.

Looking back, I realize I put too much pressure on something very new. I genuinely liked him, and I think he liked me too, but I probably made him feel like dating me was going to be stressful.

Men, if you were in his position, would you ever reconsider? Is there anything I could say or do to repair this, or is giving him complete space my only chance?

Happy to send text pictures so you can see how desperate I got at the end, which I’ve read just pushes them away more.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years (since we were both 18 and out of high school). This is the bare minimum of details, but | don't want to make this post too lengthy. We get along great and have a happy relationship, aside from one big recurring issue that both of us have no clue on how to navigate. I had a high school bt and wasn't a virgin when we met. He knew this before he asked me to be his gf, and was aware of it. Even with so many conversations and little breaks, we can't seem to make any progress. I wish I could change my past, but I can't. This cycle repeats about every few months, and yesterday we had a talk and he said "if you hadn't done that before I met you, we would've definitely been married by now, or at least a ring on your finger." If anyone has experienced something along these lines, how did you navigate it? EDIT: he was a virgin when we met and I was his first gf

Do men ever come back, if they realized the women was distant? And how can you change that especially if the men turned cold in response to that?

I went on a date with a guy last weekend and it was perfect, he’s everything I’m looking for. We went on our second date this weekend and something caught me off guard. When we walked into a bar after dinner, he watched a waitress go into the back room briefly, she was attractive and to me it def looked like he was checking her out. For context, I am also objectively attractive and get a lot of male attention, I was dressed a bit conservative that day tho and she wasn’t. I can acknowledge that things like this are insecurities I’m working through, but a guys perspective would be helpful here - was he checking her out most likely or do guys sometimes hyperfixate on something unrelated? Idk but my mood was def off after that for a bit. I can tell he likes me and he’s really sweet and compliments me a lot. But that really put me off. If he was checking her out, is this something that most men do even if they already have a pretty girl that they are into? I think I’m asking because I have bee in a relationship where the a guy was really about me and I never had any doubts. So men are any of you 100% just about your women, is that something I can find, or do you have tendencies to look the other way?

I’m 21F, and my boyfriend is 21M. We’ve been together for almost two years, and my parents have never really approved of our relationship, mainly because of concerns about his education, career, and financial stability.

We’re both Punjabi, so family approval and expectations surrounding marriage are a pretty big deal.

A couple of nights ago, my boyfriend finally sat down with my parents to have a serious conversation about our relationship and our future together.

My dad started asking him questions about his education and career. He asked what kind of student he was in high school, and my boyfriend admitted that he was pretty average and mostly got C’s.

My dad then asked why it took him around two years after graduating high school to figure out what he wanted to do. My boyfriend explained that he initially pursued architectural technology but realized he wasn’t interested in it and eventually switched to sheet metal.

My dad also asked him whether he understood the responsibilities that come with marriage and providing for a family. He explained that I’m their only daughter, that I’m extremely precious to them, and that they want to make sure whoever I marry can provide for me and give me a stable future.

During this conversation, my boyfriend started getting very quiet, shutting down emotionally, and eventually crying.

I understand that meeting your girlfriend’s parents when they already disapprove of you must be intimidating. However, I personally don’t think my dad’s questions were unreasonable. He wasn’t insulting him or yelling at him. He was asking about his education, career plans, and whether he understands the responsibilities of marriage.

My dad has been extremely strict about my education and future since I was in elementary school, so I’m used to these kinds of conversations. However, I’m starting to wonder whether my boyfriend grew up in a completely different environment and simply wasn’t prepared for that level of questioning.

My dad also demanded that he bring his mom and dad over so that they can all talk and make sure that his mom and dad won’t set them up with someone else as an arrange marriage and waste my time, however, he did not seem enthusiastic about that idea and I don’t think he’s going to do that because according to him his dad’s more traditional and more strict than my parents, but that makes no sense and I still haven’t met his dad.

My parents also noticed how anxious and restricted he seemed regarding his own family.

For example, he was concerned about needing to pick up pizza for them that night, even while dealing with this serious conversation. They commented afterward that he seemed almost afraid of disappointing his family or telling them no.

After the conversation, my boyfriend went home and basically started ignoring me.

He didn’t call me afterward to talk about what happened, and his communication has been noticeably different ever since.

Yesterday, he barely texted me, although he did respond occasionally. Today, it’s even worse.

For example, I texted him good morning at around 5:30 a.m. He woke up around 7–8 a.m., and I noticed he was active on Snapchat, but he didn’t respond to me until 11 a.m. Normally, he texts me almost immediately after waking up.

What makes this more concerning is that he was already acting somewhat dry and distant in the days leading up to this conversation.

Another thing that’s bothering me is that I recently put together a Halloween boo basket for him. I spent my own money buying him gifts and putting everything together because I wanted to make him happy and show him how much I care.
But his reaction felt underwhelming, almost like he didn’t appreciate the effort I put into it.

I know gifts shouldn’t come with expectations, but combined with how he’s been treating me lately, I feel really unappreciated.

I’m genuinely frustrated because I’ve spent so much time defending our relationship to my parents, arguing with them about him, and trying to make this relationship work despite their disapproval.

And now that he’s finally had a serious conversation with them, it feels like he’s emotionally withdrawing from me.
I’m trying to understand whether he’s overwhelmed, embarrassed, intimidated by my dad, or genuinely starting to lose feelings for me.

So, men of Reddit, I have a few questions:

If you were in my boyfriend’s position, would you consider my dad’s questions harsh or reasonable?

Why might a man cry or emotionally shut down during a conversation like this?

Could being questioned about his grades, career, and ability to provide have made him feel inadequate or emasculated?
Why would he start ignoring his girlfriend afterward instead of communicating how he feels?

Does this sound like someone who’s overwhelmed and needs space, or someone who’s reconsidering the relationship?
Is it unreasonable for me to expect him to communicate with me after something like this, especially when I’ve been defending him to my parents for so long?

From a man’s perspective, what would you want your girlfriend to do in this situation?
I love him, and I genuinely want a future with him, but I’m getting exhausted from feeling like I’m the only one fighting for us.

I’d really appreciate honest perspectives, especially from men who have experienced disapproval from a girlfriend’s parents or felt pressured about their career and financial stability

My question is, why do some men ghost a woman after opening up to them? I'm not saying opening up about deep things, just the fact they like them. The woman is interested, conversations flow all day in person or online, then bam! after admitting they like the woman, what they look for in a woman and some life goals, they just disappear? Are they getting scared? Is it some trophy game?

Me (19F) and my boyfriend (21M) have been together for about a year, and we are currently living together. Everything has been pretty great, though I’ve been growing some resentment towards him because of his damn car.

He sold his reliable 2024 Toyota Highlander to buy a 1971 Ford LTD. This thing is pretty awesome, but damn, it’s a money pit.

He got this car 4 months ago and it has only been functional and running for a month. The rest of the time, he’s borrowing my car which I honestly didn’t really mind that much.

The part that really irritates me is how many issues it has. Yes, it’s a nearly 60-year-old car, I expected issues, but he has put SO much time and money into this thing and it still is barely functional. It’s gotten to the point where I get embarrassed because of his car sometimes.

There have been multiple occasions where we’re going to an event or church together, and we either end up super late or having to cancel because his car breaks down or has some kind of issue. And I always say we should just take my car, but he always insists on taking his. And no, this is not an exaggeration. It has happened SEVERAL times.

Not to mention, almost all of his days off work get dedicated to his car. The other day, he was in the garage for 12 hours and I was just sitting by myself waiting for him to be done. While typing this, he promised he’d take me on a date to the park before the sun sets. Now the sun is setting and he is still working on his car.

I don’t know, I might be acting dramatic, but I just wanna set this car on fire!!!

I know this sounds like it’s from a romcom, but seriously. If I have never missed anyone before, would it be like really obvious to the guy?

I feel like I’ve done something and it’s me but we had such a good convo yesterday then today cold..

I have liked my best friend since January. We initially met on a dating app, went on 4-5 dates and then he ended it because of a awkward sexual experience we had (he couldn't finish either time and said he struggles with that).

We have been platonic since April and I had feelings for him the entire time. A little over a month ago he texted me that he wanted to talk about revisiting us being romantic together but changed his mind a few hours later.

After that my feelings for him really changed and now I am at the point where I am back on the dating apps, went on a first and second date with this other guy, AND NOW HE WANTS TO BE TOGETHER. Mind you, our entire friendship he has been the one who wanted to be platonic (with the exception of the one day a month or so ago). He has always done things that weren't super platonic like bring me flowers on my bday, go for late night drives when I'm sad, bring me medicine when I'm sick, spend every weekend together running errands, rubbing on my legs and hands when we were at the bar one night, etc.

Why is it now that I am actually over him, he wants to be with me?

this guy im friends with, goes on a night walk with me, lets me hold his arm, or hands, warms my cold hands, puts my hand inside his jackets pocket because im cold, puts his arm around me, hugs me, walks me home, and is very respectful, CALLS ME FUCKING FRIEND?!

most of these physical contact/touches are from me, which honestly i dont care lol. ive already wrapped my head around the fact that his all moves, but no feelings.

im just really curious, why he lets me do all these things with him, but calls me a friend 😬

I’m a 35-year-old woman who has been reflecting a lot on what I actually want and need in a relationship.
After some disappointing relationship experiences, I decided to write down the qualities I’m looking for in a future partner. Not because I expect someone to be perfect, but because I want to be more intentional about who I choose to build a life with.

I don’t expect someone to demonstrate all these qualities perfectly, all the time. I’m aware that relationships require compromise, and I hold myself to the same standards.
But I also don’t want to compromise on things that are genuinely important to me just for the sake of being in a relationship.

1. Emotional Maturity
Has strong self-awareness and can reflect on his own behavior.
Can admit mistakes, apologize sincerely, and make changes.
Is emotionally available, empathetic, and understanding.
Can handle criticism without becoming defensive.
Is open to personal growth and self-improvement.

2. Communication
Is open, honest, and clear about his thoughts and feelings.
Is willing to have difficult and uncomfortable conversations.
Listens actively and asks questions out of genuine interest.
Initiates deep and meaningful conversations.
Doesn’t avoid problems through silence, excuses, or withdrawal.

3. Trust and Reliability
Keeps his promises and follows through on commitments.
Is consistent in his words, actions, and affection.
Takes responsibility for the relationship and shared plans.
Shows through his actions that I’m important to him.
Is independent while still prioritizing our life together.

4. Humor and Personality
Has a warm, playful personality and a good sense of humor.
Can laugh at himself and be silly sometimes.
Is spontaneous and enjoys trying new things.
Is curious, creative, and open to new experiences.
Has a positive outlook on life and looks for possibilities rather than obstacles.

5. Love and Affection
Is affectionate and enjoys physical closeness, cuddling, and intimacy.
Expresses appreciation and thoughtfulness in everyday life.
Takes initiative when it comes to affection and spending quality time together.
Is attentive to my feelings and needs.
Enjoys doing small, thoughtful things to make me happy.

6. Conflict Resolution
Sees problems as something we work through together.
Can disagree without dismissing feelings or placing blame.
Takes responsibility for his part in conflicts.
Respects boundaries and is willing to compromise.
Makes an effort to repair the connection after disagreements.

7. Future and Life Goals
Wants a serious, long-term relationship.
Wants to build a family and have children.
Is excited about creating a shared future and everyday life together.
Is financially responsible and independent.
Believes in sharing responsibilities at home, in parenting, and in the relationship.

8. Intelligence and Curiosity
Is intelligent, thoughtful, and naturally curious.
Enjoys deep conversations and learning new things.
Can consider different perspectives and challenge his own beliefs.
Has his own interests, ideas, and ambitions.
Appreciates my creativity, supports my goals, and encourages my personal growth.

9. Values and Social Behavior
Treats others with kindness, respect, and consideration.
Believes in equality between men and women.
Is secure enough not to be controlling or excessively jealous.
Has integrity and stands by his values.
Values genuine connections over status, appearances, or impressing others.

10. Companionship and Everyday Life
Genuinely enjoys spending time together, both at home and out in the world.
Likes adventures, day trips, spontaneous activities, and shared experiences.
Appreciates simple pleasures like cooking together, going for walks, and cozy evenings at home.
Wants to create traditions, memories, and a meaningful life together.
Wants to be both my romantic partner and my best friend.

question for guys who only play

when you want boyfriend privileges without the commitment and responsibilities, and is successfully getting that from a girl, what is something she can do for you to say "okay, this is too much now"?
where do you draw the line?

edit: it seems like everyone if confused lol sorry!

okay, boyfriend privilege is like holding hands, going on dates, asking how your day was. basically getting boyfriend treatment from a girl without any labels.

example! if i was just playing around w a guy, and he asks me to meet his parents, thats too much for me.

Is it really just the 🐱

I know Reddit isn't real life and all that but people on Reddit do exist in real life and how hostile these women are to men really does worry me. How am I supposed to filter them out in the dating stage when they can just wear a mask and I might not know until later? I accidentally visited women's subreddit and NEVER AGAIN. Some of the hateful content there will literally destroy my mental health if I let it. Any advice?

My boyfriend of 8 years is tired of trying to make our relationship work. He wants me to open up more because he’s very open and I’m not so I get it, we’ll argue and I’ll start opening up for a few weeks but then I fall right back into my old ways. Our sex life has gone down, for me it’s because of all the fighting we’ve been doing, it’s hard to be sexual when you were just screaming at each other.

We took a break a couple years ago and things got better but last year we ended up getting pregnant. I love my baby but I didn’t want kids and he did so we kept it and now I feel like we’re stuck for the kid. But I do love him, when our relationship is good it’s great. He’s an amazing man, friend, partner, and now father. I’ll never find someone like him again, I don’t want to find someone else.

How can we come to a compromise? How do I know if it’s too late and he’s already made up his mind? I don’t want to beg but I’m at that level right now! Any suggestions.

So, I'm 29, female. I've been with my boyfriend also (29) for 14 years now. So we got together when we were really young. We were 16 and since then we've gone through loads of different periods of life together. But one thing that remains constant is how he will say things to me that could potentially hurt me, laugh at it, and then brush it off. Even when I've said, like, don't call me that, don't do that. It upsets me. He will just say, it's a joke, okay? He always does these kind of jokes. Jokes where he calls me a bitch, so casually, like, you "silly bitch". So it could be kind of seen as quite jokey. But nevertheless, along the years, I've told him to stop calling me it, but sometimes I'll just brush it off as a joke, even though I don't really think it's funny. I just kind of ignore it and not let it get to me. But it definitely does.

And I just, I personally think it is disrespectful. It's only funny for him. And in this day and age, with everything that's going on, like it's even more important now. And it's just got to the point where it is now making me question our future, because in my head, I've set a boundary, a pretty simple boundary: not to call me names like bitch.

Because it does get to me, because it is disrespectful, and it doesn't make me feel very good about myself. But then I know if I say this to him again, he's just going to say "I was just joking" la la la la la. He's admitted in the past that he likes to call me names because it makes him feel better about himself, but again I'm not sure if this is him 'joking'.

Despite all of this, I do love him. I do see a future with him. But there's just things like this that just really do make me rethink everything. Because I just think to myself, we want to have kids one day. Are you okay with other men calling your daughter a bitch? Surely you wouldn't be. Are you okay teaching your son to call other women a bitch? I should hope not. Are you going to call me a bitch in front of our children? Is that the example you're going to set for them? And he'll probably say: of course not. But the question is, why would he change then, but not for me?

So I know, like, what women's perspective would be on this is. Like any man who calls women derogatory names is an absolute no. He's never ever, ever and never would physically hurt me. So I feel like I'm quite lucky in that sense. But that is just the bare minimum nowadays, isn't it? Crazy.

But I really wish he would see my perspective on it and understand. I really want a male's perspective as to why, objectively, he would do this. For what reason would he carry on calling me a bitch? Is it simply because it makes him laugh? Is that what it is? Because if it does, I don't think I can continue anymore. I just want to know the reasons psychologically. I know that if someone ever called my daughter a bitch... if my daughter told me her boyfriend called her a bitch, I would beat his ass. Tell him to leave her, because in any context it's disrespectful. Like, in my head I know he doesn't SERIOUSLY mean it. He doesn't actually think I'm a bitch. He doesn't actually think I'm stupid. But why does he say these things? You know?

And also, because it's been 14 years now, and still no engagement. I gave him a deadline until the end of the year because I'm fed up. So that's another thing. Any advice would be really helpful.

Since nothing ever happened and I’m starting to feel lonely, depressed and hopeless. What can I do to meet men in real life if I don’t go clubbing?

My girlfriend is a very attractive woman, and she naturally gets quite a bit of attention from other men. She’s not someone who actively seeks or encourages it. It just seems to happen wherever she goes.
Obviously, it happens less when we’re together and more when she’s out on her own.
She’s noticeably more attractive than any of my previous girlfriends, so this level of attention is something I’m not really used to experiencing in a relationship.
The interesting thing is that I don’t think it bothers me much. I don’t feel particularly insecure or threatened by it, and I trust her. If anything, I’m more curious about the whole dynamic than concerned about it.
So I’d love to hear from others who have been in a similar situation.
How has being with a partner who gets a lot of attention from the opposite sex affected your relationship? Has it influenced the dynamics between you, your own feelings, or the way you interact as a couple? Has it changed anything over time?
I’m particularly interested in hearing about the less obvious psychological and relationship dynamics, rather than just jealousy or insecurity.

I'm wondering in addition to intercourse what would you include in a woman's body count? I was talking to a religious friend and she said even heavy kissing means you're not a virgin anymore because you're not innocent. So for you would you think of making out (kissing , touching each other everywhere with hands, clothes off) be part of her body count?

I (22F) attempted to use seeking, my friend recommended it to me while at uni as she said she’d had a lot of luck with it and it helped her out. I just couldn’t go through with it tho, the idea of meeting up with or even entertaining a guy i have no attraction to and is probably a creep makes me itch. But what got me was the fact that there’s men on there 30-50+ who intentionally set their age preference to 18 which i find so gross. Guess I wanted to ask (to those that do) what do you find appealing in a woman who still has ‘teen’ in their age when there’s loads of attractive women 30+.

follow up question, if a girl made you wait and you later found out that the people she's hooked up with didn't have to wait, would it bother you?

So for those of you with relationship experience, if you believe in the whole “talking stage” concept, how long do you think it should take for one to transition from a talking stage with someone they’re interested in to an exclusive relationship?
Taking into consideration that you are ready to settle down.

ok so i have this friend (25m) i (24f) met through my bestfriend, we initially met as a talking stage around 2 years ago. he messed things up and we ended the talking stage.

i am in a relationship with my bf (24m) whom i am veeery in love with. i think we have a pretty healthy relationship. i have been for almost a year now.

very recently (around 3 months ago) that friend has been making new appearances in my life, and we've gotten close as a result of him being very close to the bestfriend.

i asked my bf how he felt and he said he trusts me, and he's bestfriends with a girl that he met bc she hit on him at a café. he introduced me to her and i don't really mind her very much.

the thing is, recently i've been starting to feel like there's something wrong here. he can text me 6 times in a row, he constantly wants to call, he's very interested in getting to know me. i reaaally like him as a friend, genuinely. he's a very nice guy and he's really thoughtful, and i really don't wanna be one of those people that thinks everyone wants them and that you can't be friends with someone of the opposite gender, but i've been having my suspicions lately.

i asked 2 of my friends what they thought, both thought that he was into me but not consciously flirting. today he made a joke about me having pretty privilege (but then again i model and it's a stereotypical joke a lot of people make around me). i talk about my bf a LOT and emphasize how in love i am with him, and i really don't think he's actively flirting with me but i just have this weird gut feeling there's something wrong. how do i navigate this?

tl;dr: not sure if my friend likes me like that but i have a weird feeling & i'm in a rs