So, to start of, I am young. I am 19 years old and I look young. I have feminine features like eyes and lips.

Recently I posted myself asking for people opinions on my looks and men started to tell me i am gay looking.

Women, on the other hand, called me attractive and someone even said that men are just jealous of my "beauty"

I began to spiral because I know that this is because of my features.

I am not very very masculine and I know that. Maybe it is good to have feminine features as a guy (tons of women like pretty boys type of look)

But i genuinely feel like most women will see me as less masculine guy

Is there anyone with the same issue as me?

We have collected a set of stories and informative pieces about BDD. From stories from people who have overcome it to celebrities who have openly talked about it, you can find articles and videos about body dysmorphia from these following links.

Public figures on BDD

• Modern Family actor Reid Ewing on BDD and plastic surgery
• Artist Billie Eilish on depression and BDD
• The Good Place actor Jameela Jamil on BDD and eating disorders
• Actor Robert Pattinson on anxiety and BDD
• Actor Megan Fox on BDD and mental health

Documentaries and videos

• What BDD feels like | BBC Three
• Seeing myself as ugly | BBC Three
• I feel so ugly: Body dysmorphic disorder | Only Human
• Imperfect me: The impact of BDD | SkyNews
• BDD patients see faces differently | ABC Science
• Bigorexia: Muscle dysmorphia | BBC Newsbeat
• Believing is seeing: New perspective on BDD | TEDx Oxford
• The BDD Foundation on Youtube

Personal stories and interviews

• Perfection is impossible | A personal story
• Living with BDD | A personal story
• I felt so ugly I didn't want to be alive | Interview
• BDD ruined my life | Interview

Podcasts

• Beating BDD podcast (11 episodes) | BDDFoundation
• What is BDD? | Stuff Mom Never Told You

Books

• Books by people with BDD
• Books by professionals on self help
• The BDD workbook

Recovery from BDD might sometimes feel like a distant goal that seems, at times, impossible to achieve. But many people recover from BDD or learn to reduce the symptoms to the point where they don't play a role in their everyday life. Remember that a mental disorder is not a life long sentence but rather something that can be managed and recovered from.

Here we have collected a set of stories and advice on what recovery looks like and how others have gotten there.

Watch personal stories

• Tips for Overcoming Body Image Issues | Kim White
• My BDD Recovery | Annie Elainey
• Finding body peace | Annie Elainey
• Healing Ugly – How I healed my body dysmorphia | helloamygarner
• How I Deal With BDD, tips for when you're having a rough time | AlexandriaTheGreat
• BDD (& Things That Can Help) | Melanie Murphy
• Hannah Lewis, recovery story | BDD foundation
• Alex Mummery, recovery story | BDD foundation

Read personal stories

• Recovery stories | BDDFoundation
• How I recovered from BDD | International OCD Foundation

Professional advice

• CBT for BDD - Rob Willson / BDDFoundation
• Coping and Recovering from BDD when you have Visible Flaws - Dr Rob Willson

Healthier perspective

• On feeling ugly | School of Life
• Our Bodies are Not an Image | Mary Jelkovsky, TEDx
• Beauty and how we're obsessed with the wrong idea | Christina Gressianu / TEDx
• Body Positivity or Body Obsession? | Lindsay Kite, TEDx
• Shake my beauty - a series redefining what beauty means

I started the gym about 1 year ago and I can for sure say, that I'm beginning to hate how I look and hate the effort I've put in. I've started paying attention to flaws much more like my face and body.

It's not just a lingering feeling, like it genuinely stresses me out sometimes. It's so random too, one day I might see myself and not care but a couple hours later I feel so uncomfortable and feel like I have to do something about it. It happens at least once a week, I can't really go a few days without it occurring. Like a pit in my stomach, a depressive feeling.

I genuinely think I'm ugly. I FEEL it, physically. I'm doing everything I can to fix it but it's just not working fast enough. It hurts.

I asked a similar question once, and was told therapy would help but I'm currently not in a position to get it. Like I really want to try but I just can't right now. So realistically what can I do?

I can't stand how ugly and hideous I look in the videos. My mouth moves in weird ways, my eyes look strange and my face shape is so ugly. I can't stand it. I probably look just average but I want to be pretty and I hate that I'm not. It took a lot of courage to start posting and I don't want to give up but how I feel about my appearance is making it really really hard. I also don't want to hide myself because I am who I am and I want to connect with people but the fact my face is out there and people have to look at it gives me sleepless nights. What do I do. Sonetiems I just want to quit and disappear from the internet permanently. Anyway I don't get much traction probably because I'm ugly even if my music is fine. I hate the world.

I could be chilling then look down at my forearms and see how skinny they look or maybe they aren't, but you think the most likely scenario is the former. You look normal in the mirror but not in all of them? eh, it's probably because the mirror is doing that because of the way it's made, or the lightning and your brain is coping by making you look better than you are.

How do I beat the amnesiac way in which I spend all this time staring at my reflection, taking selfies, this that and the other. All of the ways I could judge myself, and I don’t even know what I’m looking at.

Is this a me thing? Does this happen to others?

I can’t remember what I look like outside of eye color and hair color and texture. Same for body, I can generally say I have an ectomorphic build. But I also think I’m absolutely the most anorexic person in the world. (Did struggle with that in my teens but no longer)

It’s like my self perception is constantly shifting, it’s distorted. I don’t even know what it is I’m checking when I’m checking it.

Finally, what mental exercises can I do to break that veil?

Title says it all. I have to remind myself, "I have doctor's handwriting"

Any body on disability or just cant function because of BDD

Some days I feel ok. I have my safe mirrors where I don't feel like I look so awful, and I know what lighting will trigger me so I avoid it. Unfortunately, an appointment at the hairdressers can send me into a complete spiral. I find it overwhelming to look at myself in an unfamiliar mirror with unflattering lighting for so long, seeing my face in motion talking to the stylist, and invariably hating any haircut because it is either poor executed or doesn't make me magically love my face.

How do you all survive haircuts? Tips or solidarity please!

Hi! I (female, 22) have had an unrealistic body image for quite some time now. And in my case, I'm not just talking about being slim and toned but I noticed that I think I look "better" than I do.

To explain; I have gained some weight over the last 3 years, but I have only noticed a few months ago how I actually look. I have been aware that I gained weight, and I was not happy about it and I could clearly see that in the mirror. However, couple months ago, it's like something hit me and I noticed that I look worse than I actually thought/perceived myself. I started thinking and it was probably because every time I would look in the mirror, I would look at it from the angles that kind off flattered me or I would hold my breath and suck it all in.

I am also obsessing with the way I look and it is making me very anxious (I am already very anxious person so it really bugs me)- I always watch the way other people look, how they can pull off sweet outfits, my friends exchange clothes with one another etc and I can't do that. It is also starting to affect my relationship with my boyfriend because I lack confidence.

How can I make myself stop obsessing with all of these things and instead try to focus that energy into improving myself? How do I stop comparing myself with others and the way they look?

Thank you. ♡♡

Here you can find listed below general information on BDD and related foundations, the clinical classification and symptoms of BDD, advice for friends and family, as well as self-help and support groups, both in-person and online.

General information

The BDD Foundation

OCD UK

International OCD Foundation

Mind.org

Clinical classification

ICD & DSM Criterias

For friends and family

The BDD Foundation, Supporting a close one with BDD

Mind.org, How can friends and family help

Self-help

Body dysmorphia workbook by the CCI

Building self-compassion workbook by the CCI

Support groups

Online support and therapy groups

Support groups in the UK

Before I explain I just want to say that I’m very well aware that I need to get better on my own and that these problems are not all his but I would also like to elaborate.

Him and I are hetero couple both 29. I dated in high school but have remained friends throughout the years. We started to date again officially beginning of last summer. I have always had bdd, but right after we got together I developed POTS(meaning I get blood pooling in my legs) kp on my arms AND ROSACEA on my face. I’m hoping that people with bdd can understand how distressing that all is to happen all at once.

Basically since we have been together I am now on my 4th therapist to try to help me. Tbh all the ones I have seen so far are not really educated in bdd. They really just think it’s like an eating disorder. Core myself as almost this really ugly not smooth person with a weird face and body. I am a nail tech and I actually get compliments pretty regularly about my appearance but I always think they are lying to me.

It’s VERY hard for me to go to work let alone to anything. I am in full blown depression. My sleep and eating sucks. And I am constantly stressed tf out. My mind is never not thinking about how bad my skin looks all the time. It’s horrible.

At first when him and I got together he r was understanding and would tell my I’m beautiful. He does tell me that all the time and I do appreciate it. But for me personally I’m not someone that likes to yell. I’m a very good communicator. He will SCREAM at me now for being in a bad mood or if I ask a question about appearance. I don’t mean yell I mean SCREAM his head off. This makes me feel more alone and isolated. I told him I feel like I have to pretend to be fine around him just so I don’t get yelled at.

On top of all of this I obviously don’t enjoy sex but with him being very inconsiderate of how I feel it makes me more turned off. To me it just feels like shut up and be happy andsçřew me. All he ever talk about is how it affects him.

Mind you he still goes out to bars and hangs with his friends he is normal. I don’t even do those things. I try to explain that to him also x today he screamed at me and basically said I can’t be with someone that’s depressed all the time and that I’m insane because I don’t look at all how I feel. He tells me that I just need to keep telling myself that I’m pretty and that it’ll just go away. When I tell him that’s not how it works he gets pissed with me and says I’m making excuses. Basically that I don’t do anything to help myself and that I’m just stupid.

For me it’s so hard because my self esteem is the lowest it’s ever been in my life and I love him a lot. We have known each other for so long. He has also told me that no other guy would want to be with me with how sad I am all the time.

It’s so frustrating because I tell him how I try therapy and meds but it doesn’t work. It’s not like I want to give up I don’t. But at the same time it’s so bad that it’s crippling to exist.

I do get where he is coming from to an extent. But I also feel like I can’t tell if it’s my bdd making me see it this way or if I’m actually right in this that I should be talked to nicer.

I sleep a lot because of my pots. He gets mad about that. I don’t like staying the night with him because he keeps me up all night by tossing and turning that I can’t sleep then he will wake me up early. He doesn’t like that. He tells me to not be around if I’m down so I don’t but then if it’s too long he gets mad.

Please help.

Hi!! I’m 17F and finishing high school this year. This is my first time ever posting on Reddit because this burden has built up to a point where I genuinely don’t know how to deal with it anymore.

Everywhere I go, whatever I do, I fixate on how my nose looks, how my hair looks, how my body looks, whether my smile is slightly to the left, or whether my eyebrows are asymmetrical. It’s gotten to the point where I struggle to leave my own house without panicking - worrying about how people will see me, whether I look good enough to be in public, and constantly comparing myself to every single woman I come across.
It’s not fair to them, obviously; they’re just going about their own lives. But it’s like my mind has become hardwired this way. It’s inescapable. (And yes, i sometimes see an absolute hideous creature staring back at me in the mirror, and i can’t stand the sight of it)

The worst part is that it’s interfering with my daily activities. I can hardly study, I rarely leave the house unless I have to, I avoid mirrors, and I spend countless hours researching beauty standards and physical attractiveness. I feel ashamed of my own behaviour because I have so many other things I should be doing, but I just can’t seem to stop. I go to sleep crying almost every night, wondering what’s fundamentally wrong with me. I refuse to go out with friends, I distance myself from people at school, and i loathe doing anything involving the outing to a place with people my age. It’s as if i don’t want them to suffer having to look at my ‘hideous face’.

For those of you who’ve experienced something similar, what has genuinely helped you cope with these thoughts? How did you stop the constant comparing and researching from taking over your life? I would really appreciate any advice or experiences you’re willing to share.

I came here to seek advice and, after looking at a few posts, decided to say “aloud” what is empowering me—to put it into the world and also share with anyone who might benefit from it.

My BDD is really bad right now. I just covered a mirror in our house with a blanket because I can’t stop obsessing over different small things that are “wrong.” I don’t need to go into the specifics—you all know how this goes. I can hardly read because I’m so focused on my mouth or my face. Walking is hard because I worry about my gait… The obsessions are so bad (at this particular moment) now that they’re sucking life out of every activity I do, every communication… and I’m sick of it.

Every moment has its challenges AND I am fighting. The below are a few buoys that have been helping me keep my head above the water. They aren’t magic fixes, certainly, and if you don’t like them, please be kind. They’re something, though. Something good.

DBT skills cards. I LOVE these. In the “emotion regulation” section, there is a card on values-based living. I briefly ask myself, when obsessing over my overplucked brows or crooked teeth or rolls or whatever, “how is this helping me live according to my values?” There may be something there—I value being attractive, sure. But I also value (and want to value), more highly, inner peace and relationships and supporting others and creativity, etc… I might do a BD-inspired “self-portrait”—it might be dark, but it will be an outlet for me to express my feelings and be creative and step away from that darned mirror. Or maybe I’ll go for a walk. Heck, I can hide in a hoodie and sunglasses if I want to. Or I can… whatever. I’m not saying it’s magic. I’m just saying that remembering my values and how short our time is here gives me the jolt I need to keep fighting the good fight.

Tracing my hand on paper. Painting hand prints. Writing words around it. For me, I’ve never had issues with my hands—they’re one of the few body parts I don’t struggle with. So I use them in self-expression. I focus on them creatively, put their outlines on paper and surround with mantras like “I can take up space” or beautiful patterns.

Radical acceptance… mantras. Mantras are cheesy sometimes, but if I get desperate enough, repeating them does help with acceptance and grounding. Turn “I hate my crooked, chipped, yellow, gappy teeth” to “I’m grateful I have teeth; I’m grateful I have strong teeth.” Or “my skin is disgusting and I am fat” to “I have a body; with it, I have a chance to move thepugh this life.”

Oh, and the Body Image Workbook is gold. I’ve never gotten through it competely… but I need to come back to it. And I think I will today. It’s annoying and frustrating and, well, if I want to help retrain my brain, it’s an extremely useful tool.

I’m really struggling. Even in this moment, I’m not sure what activity to do next that won’t be interrupted by the BD. AND there are good things now and good things to come…

I don’t know if this will help anyone, but I’m leaving it here in the hopes that it might. Thank you for reading. Keep fighting ❤️

Im 19, female, my face is hideous. I have a square face with chubby cheeks - its more wide then long, i would pay a fortune just to have a longer face because my head is so big it makes me want to cry. I try different hairstyles but I feel like it never goes away.

My body is fine. Im 99 pounds, 5'1 and somewhat curvy, my mom always tells me I have the "dream body". But I cant even appreciate having it because my face doesnt match at all, im hideous.

I dont know how to do makeup - not to mention i have hooded lids, a big nose, thin lips, etc etc. Nothing I do looks good, I feel genuine dread that causes panic attacks anytime my face is viewed.

I hate the shape of my body. My whole life I have been extremely skinny. This isn’t because of anything I did, it was simply poverty and neglect. My family rarely had food in the house and when we did, we essentially got small portions to stretch to feed everyone.

As I got older, things got better. I was in the military. I finally had enough to eat. I had an active lifestyle and still do. I like going outside, going for hikes, bike rides, and I enjoy lifting weights. I recognize that this is a privilege and I am in “”””good shape””””. But the problem is, I’m tall and lean. I feel like I’m a stick with no curves at all.

Recently I started a work out program called strong curves and trying my best to eat at a caloric surplus. I stuff my face and drink protein shakes after. I try to eat as many snacks as I can, I drink full sugar soda. I see progress in my glutes and my thighs. But I still cannot help feeling bitter.

I have a girlfriend who was overweight, poor lifestyle choices, very rarely worked out, and drank alcohol everyday. She got 360 liposuction, a BBL, and rib remodeling. All covered by insurance.

I know I shouldn’t compare myself to her but it feels so unfair. I’m working really hard for slower results that are going to be subpar. While she did nothing and essentially got to skip to the ideal female body type in a few hours. We both are at home all day. She barely eats anything and somehow doesn’t lose any weight. If I go a week missing one meal I lose 3-5 lbs. I hate the way she gets praised for her body when she did nothing to earn it. I hate how because I was not overweight and made healthy lifestyle decisions, I simply do not have enough fat for a BBL. She even has the gall to say that she feels like the BBL did nothing.

It’s hard for me to see the point of going to the gym, eating at a surplus, and working hard when people can just do whatever they want and press a magic button and be more attractive than me.

Hi all, I'm at a total low in my life over many things but especially my looks.

I wrote a suicide note last night and alot of the content was about how ugly I feel, how I cant stand it, how tired it makes me, and how I believe I cannot have a partner because of it and now loneliness I've become.

I know this has been an issue for a long time, and has gotten worse as I've aged and had health issues which have impacted how my face looks, making it worse than it already was. I also hate my body shape. And entirely hate my skin.

I'm spending more and more time in bed, giving up hope.

I need help.

But I feel embarrassed and ashamed to seek help because this is different to saying "I feel depressed" or anxious. It's about my looks, and I feel like they will think I'm vain. I'm staring in mirrors and reflections so much because I'm concerned about how I look at all times and focusing on all the areas which are major insecurities and ugly to me. These trigger all the thoughts all the time.

I feel like I'll be judged heavily for it. The other part of me also thinks "what's the point?", how can they disprove what I can see. I can see what's wrong with me. I can pick up from the world's reactions to me, which is that no one's interested in me and that's because im ugly.

I just don't know how to get out of this situation and improve how I feel, how I see myself, my self esteem.

I just really need help and don't know how to get it.

Here you can find listed below general information on BDD and related foundations, the clinical classification and symptoms of BDD, advice for friends and family, as well as self-help and support groups, both in-person and online.

General information

The BDD Foundation

OCD UK

International OCD Foundation

Mind.org

Clinical classification

ICD & DSM Criterias

For friends and family

The BDD Foundation, Supporting a close one with BDD

Mind.org, How can friends and family help

Self-help

Body dysmorphia workbook by the CCI

Building self-compassion workbook by the CCI

Support groups

Online support and therapy groups

Support groups in the UK

I posted this somewhere else, and they recommend me here so hopefully this helps!
I’m just looking for some advice because I’ve really been struggling with myself lately.
I’ve been sober for 4 years now and I’m so thankful to be where I’m at today. But one thing I’ve really been struggling with is my weight and how I look.
When I was on drugs I was so skinny and I remember wishing so bad that I could gain weight. I wanted to be healthier and actually put some weight on. Now that I’m sober and I’ve gained weight, I feel so insecure about myself. It’s crazy because I wanted this for so long and now that it’s finally happened I hate how I look sometimes.
I find myself looking back at old pictures of when I was skinny and wishing I looked like that again, even tho I know I wasn’t healthy back then. I feel bad even saying that because I know how far I’ve come and I would never wanna go back to that life.
I hate working out and I just don’t know how to be comfortable in my own body anymore. I feel like I’m constantly picking myself apart and comparing myself to how I used to look.
Has anyone else dealt with this after getting sober? How do you learn to accept your body and stop being so insecure? What are some things that have helped with body dysmorphia or just learning to love yourself again?
I’m proud of myself for being sober for 4 years but this is something I’ve really been struggling with lately and I just wanna feel good about myself again. ❤️

i have a severely recessed jaw that ruins my face and makes me have such an awful side profile. it's not a warped view of myself, i actually have teeth and jaw issues that cause problems and i need very expensive surgery to correct it

i hate the fact that i look like a 10 year old when i'm 24. i feel disgusting in my body, and going outside is a humiliation ritual with everyone assuming i'm a young child, and then being shocked and uncomfortable when they find out about my age. this happened again last night and i immediately thought about screaming and ripping my face off, i feel like such a freak

i have bdd because people treated me like i'm ugly when i was younger so i just took everything as truth and obsessively fixated on it. and unlike seemingly everyone else i never had a glow up and puberty didn't change me. i feel physically and mentally stuck at 12 years old. i don't recognize myself when i look in the mirror and i want to scream and cry that i'm permanently stuck in a body i hate

so how do you cope with the fact that the things you hate about are true and you never recieve reassurance and validation?

Hi everyone. I am a 22 year old male living in London. I have ADHD and autism and I am currently stuck in a really severe depression and burnout loop regarding my physical apperance. My ancestors are from western georgia(the caucasus mountains), which means geentically I have very pale, transluncenr and vainy skin. Because of my autism and ADHD, my brain has locked onto a rigid pattern-lock or hyper fixation where I intensley and obsessivley envy darker, brunette and olive toned west asian and Turkish and Armenian features with a specific range of phenotypes. I feel like my reflection is a system error that cuts me off from the culture I love.Because of my intense neurodivergent justice sensitivity, I find myself looking at global issues like colorism and cultural prejudice, and my brain accidentally turns that anger inward. It forces me into loops of intense personal guilt and shame just for carrying the pale genetic traits that I see associated with these systemic biases—even though I know logically I had no choice over my DNA and I treat everyone with equal respect. I feel insecure about how my parents because I am so locked onto the cultures and looks I chase, I feel it as a threat to my identity because I don't see what I like represented in my parents. I hate hoe my mother uses childish languages and how she sings songs and nursery rhymes at times because it reminds me of what I am part of in reality.

On top of this, my brain gets stuck in exhausting mathematical comparison loops (constantly ranking birth years, generational timelines, and smartphone eras) trying to prove to myself that other people are "superior" or have a better life based entirely on their looks. I've even had old childhood fears of cartoon transformations pop back into my head because my nervous system is so chemically overwhelmed . I imagine them happening in real life even though they are fake.

I feel completely stuck, unattractive, and exhausted from running these identity calculations in my head every single day.

Has anyone else with ASD/ADHD experienced this kind of intense, logical "trap" where your brain treats your innocent biology like a structural failure? How do you break out of the comparison loops? Thanks.

Going to therapy or getting professional help is not always an option, getting help may also take some time. To help you to better understand and address BDD by yourself, we have compiled a workbook that you can do by yourself. It contains information and tasks which will help shine a light to why BDD is the way it is and how you can deal with the symptoms. All chapters are based on an official workbook by the Centre for Clinical Intervention.

The BDD workbook:

• 01 What is body image?
• 02 Could I have body dysmorphic disorder?
• 03 Negative impacts of BDD
• 04 What are the causes of BDD?
• 05 Appearance assumptions
• 06 Triggers
• 07 Appearance preoccupation
• 08 Attention training [a coping tactic]
• 09 Checking and approval seeking
• 10 Reducing unhelpful checking and approval seeking [a coping tactic]
• 11 Negative predictions
• 12 Avoidance and safety behaviour
• 13 Reducing negative predictions [a coping tactic]
• 14 A new way of operating
• 15 Dealing with set-backs
• 16 Maintaining gained progress

I've been working out a lot this year and put in a lot of work with therapy and was really at a point where I really liked my body enough to start dating again and then got dumped. It is not my place to go into the details on her end but all the old feelings of not being enough pysically and my body not being a good one just came rushing back. I've been eating like shit all week and haven't hit the gym once (I usually go 4-6 days a week)

I feel disgusting and keep blaming myself when it isn't on me at all. What do I even do here? I miss kissing her