Is my relationship save-able or doomed?

[u/anonymous1134_]

For background, I currently live out of state under his mom's roof with him and his family for the local college here. The arrangement saved me campus fees and allowed me to be with him. We met online and have been together for a little over 3 years.
Everything has been great except for the last year.
Towards the end of 2025, my boyfriend left his retail job for a different job which did not end up working out. Leading him to months of unemployment. After about 8 months of it, I told him he needs to take his job searching more seriously and that if we want to build towards a future he needs to start working too.
He agreed and shortly after, him and his friend decided to start a pressure washing business together.
I totally support him going for it but there are a few issues that are occurring from it.

1. He completely stopped looking for any part time jobs to do along side starting up his new business.
   When I bring it up or suggest it, he says he does not want to be apart of the "rat race" and that having a job is just a waste of time. Despite the fact he doesn't get very many jobs, and most the one he does do, they negotiate down to just a few hundred (150-300) that he then has to split with his friend and put some back into the business.

2. He has grown very ambitious expectations. I do think it's good for him to be ambitious but to me he is not also being realistic. For instance, he has told me on multiple occasions that he will be making 30,000 a month soon. He also stated he wanted to retire in his 30's. Today, he said we would move out of his mom's house by next year. When i told him that we weren't, he got upset and started arguing with me and called me unsupportive and then he cursed at me on accident. He didn't even give me a second to explain that neither of us make enough to save money and move out by next year.

3. This business has started taking up 80-90% of his time. Before, we would be with each other every day and find something to do on our free days— even when he did have a job. Now, he's door knocking from early in the morning until the afternoon. Then in the same day, he will go door knocking again until later in the day like maybe between 6-8 PM. On top of that, when we are with each other, he's constantly on his phone posting stuff about his business (which is fine but it gets overwhelming). Or his business friend is constantly calling him and texting him. To the point it gets disruptive. Like if I'm in the middle of talking to do something, I'm shushed for him to get into a 10 minute phone call over something that could have been a text message. Which I understand it happens but it's multiple times a day, multiple times within a few hours. Additionally, there have been times where he's cancelled prior commitments with me to do something regarding the business. As well as ditching being my ride to/from classes or from work. (I can't drive due to some medical problems at the moment so he is my main mode of transportation—which has never been an issue until now. I, of course, always confirm the times and days are okay with him before scheduling them).

On top of that, there's just been lots of other issues regarding his family and the way he responds to problems that we've talked out before. Additionally, I've been realizing that I want a little more intimately, which we have been trying to work on. But it just adds fuel to the fire.

My question is if I'm being unreasonable? I've been considering if breaking up is the best option- but if i'm being completely honest, Im worried to. I can always move back home at anytime, but I've been with him for so long. I truly do love him but I feel like there's something's that just don't work.
Do I break up with him? Or is there some other solution to our problems?

TLDR; my bf has become entrepreneur obsessed and it's effecting our relationship. Prior and currently minor issues also add to the fire and I'm considering if breaking up is the best option.

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[u/ActivePalpitation272]

if you really see a future with him and want to be with him still then i think its saveable. i know its hard but if you think its worth it then dont give up. try talking to him abit more and since you want more intimacy and it causes more problems maybe you two should try couples therapy? about the job though, he needs to understand that while being ambitious is good and he can work on his dreams, his priorities are still getting enough money in and so he should be working part time as well. if it doesnt change after you've tried too many times than i think breaking up is the only option because if he isnt willing to change then you should leave

[u/Salty_Thing3144]

You aren't unreasonable. He's being a deadbeat in your relationship