I am thoroughly impressed. I genuinely don’t know how they do it. Every single time they have something going for them, they find a way to completely ruin their momentum with the least timely penalty imaginable.
Big play? Penalty. Third down stop? Penalty. Finally get some momentum? Believe it or not, penalty. At this point I’m convinced they could successfully execute a 99-yard touchdown drive during the National Championship, cure a major disease on the sideline, and reunite a lost child with his family, only for some dude to come flying into frame three seconds later and commit an unnecessary roughness penalty 45 yards away from the play.
It’s honestly an art form. Other teams commit penalties by accident. The Michigan Wolverines commit penalties with purpose. With precise timing. With an almost supernatural understanding of the exact moment when a penalty would cause the maximum possible amount of damage.
I’m not even mad anymore. I’m studying this. This level of self-sabotage needs to be preserved and taught to future generations.
I had an intern in 2018 who was from South Africa. He decided he wanted to understand American football and said he would watch Michigan (he knew I graduated from Michigan, so less to do with the team and more about corporate politics - I respect it). He came back the following summer as a full time employee. I will never forget him telling me “I have never watched a team where anything that could possibly go wrong, goes wrong. It’s absolutely infuriating to watch your team”. I will forever hold onto that comment as unbiased third party confirmation that Michigan just loves to shoot itself in the dick, or suffer from absolutely insane willy nilly plays.
Yeah, I don't claim him. I remember celebrating the win over PSU in 2019 like it was the super bowl. I remamber 3ot vs akron. I remember a quality win to help us make a bowl game being a shootout vs WKU. I may not be old, but I know suffering. He's just entitled. Please ignore him.
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u/lardshark Michigan Wolverines • Rose Bowl 20d ago edited 20d ago
I am thoroughly impressed. I genuinely don’t know how they do it. Every single time they have something going for them, they find a way to completely ruin their momentum with the least timely penalty imaginable.
Big play? Penalty. Third down stop? Penalty. Finally get some momentum? Believe it or not, penalty. At this point I’m convinced they could successfully execute a 99-yard touchdown drive during the National Championship, cure a major disease on the sideline, and reunite a lost child with his family, only for some dude to come flying into frame three seconds later and commit an unnecessary roughness penalty 45 yards away from the play.
It’s honestly an art form. Other teams commit penalties by accident. The Michigan Wolverines commit penalties with purpose. With precise timing. With an almost supernatural understanding of the exact moment when a penalty would cause the maximum possible amount of damage.
I’m not even mad anymore. I’m studying this. This level of self-sabotage needs to be preserved and taught to future generations.